Twilight: The Consulting Detective

by A Wise Pony

The Pony in Pink: You Forgot This/Won't Be Long

SPOILER WARNING: This Ponified episode contains heavy reference to the BBC Series Sherlock's 1st episode, A Study in Pink. DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE SPOILERS! Sherlock © the BBC
All MLP Characters © Hasbro. Unofficial names used where real names are unknown.

***
The door of 221 B slammed shut as the two ponies collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily. “Okay,” Applejack panted. “That was ridiculous. That was...the most ridiculous thing…I've ever done.”

“And you invaded Alpacastan,” Twilight remarked.

They both laughed for a moment before wheezing for more air.

“That wasn't just me,” Applejack shot back. She frowned. “Why aren't we back at the restaurant?”

“Oh, they can keep an eye out,” Twilight told her. She sighed unhappily. “It was a long shot anyway.”

“So what were we doing there?” the earth pony asked.

“Oh, just passing the time,” the unicorn replied. “And proving a point.”

“What point?”

“You.” Twilight raised her voice. “Ms. Matilda! Doctor Applejack will take the room upstairs.”

“Says who?” Applejack asked.

Twilight nodded at the entrance. “Says the minotaur at the door.”

There was a knock. Applejack got up and answered it. Iron Will was waiting there, holding her cane.

“Twilight texted me,” he explained. “She said you forgot this.” He held out the cane.

Applejack took it. She looked at it, then at her leg, baffled. “Uh…” She glanced down the hall at Twilight, who was smiling smugly. Proving a point indeed. “Uh, thank you. Thank you.” She walked back inside and closed the door.

Twilight got back to her feet as Ms. Matilda entered the hallway. “Twilight,” the donkey asked tearfully, “what've you done?”

Worry laced the unicorn's features. “Ms. Matilda?”

“Upstairs.” The donkey gestured with her hoofkerchief.

Twilight glanced at Applejack, then bounded up the stairs. The earth pony was close behind.

***

Twilight swung the door to the flat open. Rainbow sat in one of the comfy chairs, the pink case propped open on the table beside her. The flat was teeming with police ponies, searching behind books, under the furniture, in the seams of the windows.

“What're you doing?” Twilight demanded.

“Well, I knew you'd find the case,” Rainbow said, tapping the object with her hoof. “I'm not stupid.”

“You can't just break into my flat!” the unicorn spoke furiously.

“And you can't withhold evidence!” Rainbow countered. “And I didn't break into your flat.”

Twilight glared at the assembled officers. “Well what do you call this then?!”

Rainbow looked around the room, then answered with a smile. “It's a drugs bust!”

Applejack laughed. “Seriously? This mare, a junkie? Have you met her?

“Applejack...” Twilight warned.

The earth pony ignored her. “I'm pretty sure you could search this flat all day, and you wouldn't find anything you could call recreational.”

“Applejack, you probably wanna shut up now,” Twilight hissed.

“Yeah, but come on…” Applejack noticed Twilight's piercing, honest gaze. “No…” she said in disbelief.

“What?”

“You?”

“Shut up!” Twilight told her. She whirled towards Rainbow again. “I'm not your sniffer dog!”

“No,” Rainbow said, pointing into the kitchen. “Whooves's my sniffer dog.”

“What, Who-” Twilight turned and saw the brown earth pony in the kitchen. He waved a hoof impishly at her. “Whooves, what are you doing here on a drugs bust?!” Twilight questioned.

“Oh, I volunteered,” the forensics pony replied.

“They all did,” Rainbow told her. “They're not strictly speaking on the drug squad, but they're very keen.”

Derpy entered holding a glass jar. “Are these real eyes?”

“Put those back!” Twilight insisted.

“They were in the microwave!” the pegasus exclaimed.

“It's an experiment!” The unicorn seemed about ready to yank the jar out of Derpy's grip.

“Keep looking guys!” Rainbow ordered. She stood and walked over to Twilight. “Or you could start helping us properly, and I'll stand them down.”

“This is childish!” Twilight snapped. She started to pace.

“Well I'm dealing with a child,” Rainbow countered. “Twilight, this is our case. I'm letting you in, but you do not go off on your own! Clear?”

“Oh, what,” Twilight spat.”So, so, you set up a pretend drugs bust to bully me?”

“It stops being pretend if they find anything,” Rainbow said warningly.

“I am clean!” the unicorn asserted.

“Is your flat?” Rainbow questioned. “All of it?”

“I don't even smoke.” Twilight held up her leg and rolled up her jacket sleeve. A nicotine patch was still affixed.

“Neither do I,” Rainbow answered, mirroring the action; a pad was attached to her limb as well. “So let's work together.” Twilight turned away, still fuming. “We found Rachel,” Rainbow added.

“Who is she?” Twilight asked, curiosity piqued.

“Fleur de Lis's only daughter,” Rainbow informed her.

“Daughter…Why would she write her daughter's name?” Twilight wondered aloud. “Why?”

“Nevermind that,” Whooves broke in. “We found the case! According to somepony, the murderer has the case, and we found it in the hooves of our favorite psychopath!”

Twilight spun her head and glared at the brown pony. “I'm not a psychopath, Whooves, I'm a high functioning sociopath. Do your research.” She turned back to Rainbow. “You need to bring Rachel in,” she told the pegasus.”You need to question her. I need to question her.”

“She's dead.” Rainbow told her.

“Excellent!” Twilight declared. “How, when and why? Is there a connection? There has to be!”

“Well, I doubt it since she's been dead for 14 years,” Rainbow explained. “Technically, she was never alive. Rachel was Fleur de Lis's stillborn daughter, 14 years ago.”

“Oh.” Twilight paused, stymied. “That's…that's not right. Why would she do that? Why?”

“Why would she think of her daughter in her last moments?” Whooves snorted. “Yeah, sociopath, seeing it now.”

“She didn't think about her daughter,” Twilight shot back. “She scratched her name on the floor, with her well-filed hooves. She was dying. It took effort. It would have hurt.”

“You said that the victims all took the poison themselves,” Applejack commented. “That she makes them take it. Well, maybe she, I dunno, talks to them, maybe she used the death of her daughter somehow.”

“That was ages ago,” Twilight said dismissively. “Why would she still be upset?”

Applejack's jaw dropped in shock at the insensitive remark. Rainbow brought a hoof to her face and looked down. Twilight noticed their reactions. “Not good?” she inquired.

“A bit not good, yeah,” Applejack confirmed.

Twilight lowered her voice to speak solely to the doctor. “Yeah, but if you were dying, if you were being murdered, in your very last few seconds, what would you say?”

“Please, Celestia, let me live.”

The unicorn shook her head disapprovingly. “Oh, use your imagination!”

“I don't have to.”

Twilight paused, realizing she'd stuck her hoof in her mouth again, then pressed on. “Yes, but if you were clever, really clever. Fleur de Lis, running all those lovers, she was clever. She's trying to tell us something!”

Ms. Matilda spoke up from the door to the flat. “Isn't the doorbell working? Your taxi's here, Twilight!”

“I didn't order a taxi! Go away!” Twilight made a shooing motion at the landlady and began pacing again.

Ms Matilda took in the scene; ponies everywhere, upsetting everything. “Oh dear. They're making such a mess. What're they looking for?”

“It's a drugs bust, Ms. Matilda,” Applejack explained.

“But they're just for my hip!” the donkey protested. “They're herbal soothers!”

“Shut up!” Twilight shouted. “Everypony, shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breath! I'm trying to think!” She gestured at one pony in particular. “Whooves, face the other way, you're putting me off.”

“What? My face is?”

“Everypony, quiet and still,” Rainbow commanded. “Whooves, turn your back.”

The brown pony rolled his eyes. “Oh for Celestia's sake!”

“Your back!” Rainbow roared. “Now, please!” The forensics pony complied.

“Come on, think, quick…” Twilight closed her eyes, trying to concentrate.

“What about your taxi?” Ms. Matilda asked again.

The unicorn spun towards her in rage, eyes blazing. “Ms. Matilda!” she bellowed. The donkey jumped, then hurried downstairs.

Twilight had an epiphany then. “Oh! Oh…She was clever…clever, yes!” To the surprise of
everypony else, the unicorn laughed. “She's cleverer than you lot, and she's dead! Do you see, do you get it?” Blank stares greeted her question. “She didn't lose her phone, she never lost it, she planted it on her! When she got out of the car, she knew that she was going to her death. She left the phone, in order to lead us to her killer!”

“Yeah, but how?” Rainbow asked.

“What-” Twilight blinked, thrown off. “What do you mean, how?”

“Umm…” The pegasus shrugged, still at a loss.

“Rachel!” Twilight exclaimed. Everypony still looked puzzled. “Don't you see? Rachel!” Whooves had turned around, just to stare at her incredulously. The unicorn took in the scene. “Oh…look at all of you, you're all so vacant. Is it nice, not being me? It must be so relaxing.” She finally began to explain. “Rachel is not a name.”

“Then what is it?” Applejack asked.

Twilight pointed at the pink case. “Applejack, on the luggage, there's a label. Email address.” She sat down at the desk and flipped open her computer as Applejack checked the tag.

“Uh, [e-mail],” the earth pony reported.

“Oh, I've been too slow,” Twilight self-chastised. “She didn't have a computer, which means she did her business on her phone, so it's a smartphone. It's email enabled.” She navigated to the address from the label and began inputting the information. “So there was a website for her account. The username is her email address and, all together now, the password is…”

“Rachel,” Applejack finished. Twilight hit the enter key and the website accepted the data. Fleur de Lis's account opened up on the screen.

“So we can read her email,” Whooves said contemptuously. “So what?”

“Whooves, don't talk out loud,” Twilight told him. “You lower the IQ of the whole street.” She clicked through several pages. “We can do much more than just read her emails. It's a smart phone. It's got GPS, which means if you lose it, you can locate it online. She's leading us directly to the pony who killed her.” She found the page she needed and clicked the Find Me button. A compass rose rotated onscreen as the computer searched.

“Unless they got rid of it,” Rainbow pointed out.

“We know she didn't,” Applejack told her.

The search dragged on. “Come on, come on, quickly!” Twilight complained. She started pacing again.

Ms. Matilda ran back up the stairs. “Twilight, dear, this taxi driver, she-”

“Ms. Matilda, isn't it time for your evening soother?” Twilight said. She turned to Rainbow. “Listen, get vehicles. Get ponies in the air. We're gonna have to move fast, this phone battery won't last forever.”

“But we'll just have a map reference,” Rainbow reminded her. “Not a name.”

“It's a start!”

The search beeped as it found the phone. Applejack looked at the result, then rubbed her eyes. It still read the same. “Twilight?”

The unicorn was still trying to sell Rainbow on needing backup. “Narrows it down from just anypony in Canterlot. It's the first proper lead that we've had.”

“Twilight?”

Twilight leaned over Applejack's shoulder. “Where is it, quickly, where?”

“It's…here,” Applejack said. “It's in 221 Baker Street.”

The shocked silence was only broken by the ping of the locator app. “How can it be here?” Twilight frowned. “How?”

“Well, maybe it was in the case when you brought it back,” Rainbow suggested, “and it…fell out somewhere.”

“What, and I didn't notice it? Me, I didn't notice?”

“Anyway, we texted her and she called back,” Applejack chimed in.

Rainbow turned to her ponies. “Guys, we're also looking for a mobile somewhere here, belongs to the victim.”

Twilight suddenly became aware of something that had been nagging at her. Her own words echoed in her head. “Who do we trust, even if we don't know them? She looked towards the door. A pony had walked up the stairs behind Ms. Matilda. The tag on her cardigan identified her as a Canterlot Cab Driver. “Who passes unnoticed wherever they go?” She remembered how three of the victims had been reported as last being seen trying to get a car ride. “Who hunts in the middle of a crowd?”

The new pony reached into a pocket and withdrew a pink phone. She tapped something into it. The pinging of the GPS almost masked the beep as Twilight's own phone received a text. She withdrew it and read the message: COME WITH ME. The other pony turned and walked back down the stairs, brushing past Ms. Matilda.

“Twilight, you okay?” Applejack asked.

The unicorn blinked. “What? Yeah, yes, I'm fine.”

“So how can the phone be here?”

“Don't know.” Twilight stared at the door. Ms. Matilda followed her gaze after the retreating driver.

“I'll try it again,” Applejack said.

Twilight started walking towards the door. “Good idea,” she said distractedly.

Applejack noticed her moving to leave. “Hold on, where are you going?”

“Fresh air,” Twilight said. “Just popping outside for a moment. Won't be long.”

“You sure you're alright?” Applejack called after her as the unicorn left the room.

“I'm fine!” the unicorn insisted as she headed down the stairs, following the pony who held Fleur de Lis's phone.

***