Horn And Wings

by Nameless Narrator

The Darkness Inside: Quite The Impression

"Hi, Chokin-hnng-key," I greet my questionably better half returning from another day of protecting weak patients from all dangers of the world such as shadows, plants or windows.

"I'm deciding to find that considerably adorable," she flashes a smile at my stutter.

There is something I remember from when I found her crying in the chest and that was her preferred pet name. She doesn't let it show but I know it means a lot to her.

So, I got this idea today. Let's see if it works.

"Wanna eat out tonight?" I ask at the undressing batpony.

"Ya dirty colt," she winks, "But if both of us eat out, who's gonna be the second mare?-"

She playfully slaps me.

"-Oh ya meant Doomie, the batpony I think of as my little sister? Is it some smutty family action you want?-"

Um, what's going on?

"-Should I give her a makeover to look like me. Do I look like I'd enjoy some perverted fantasy about bat twins taking care of your every need?-"

Help, somepony help.

"-Close your mouth or something will fly in."

"I-I-I j-just wanted to take you out... for dinner?" I say weakly.

"I know," she snorts, "but watching ya foam at the mouth was way too much fun. Let me put something nicer on and let's go."

Forget happy twenty years of married life, I'll murder her right here and now and spare myself the hassle.

She's going to wear something but I don't have anything aside from the sweater she bought. She has to know that, right?

Nervous, nervous.

Rushing upstairs to get dressed and grab some money, I estimate the amount of bits in my bag and hope it's going to be enough. Running my hooves through my mane to straighten the tangled mess a bit, I almost fall down the stairs when I see her waiting by the door.

Okay, she isn't wearing a dress as well but her mane is combed in a way to let two strands of red fall down the sides of her face with the rest neatly tucked behind her ears and allow a red river to flow down her midnight black neck.

I keep staring, completely ignoring the rest of fancy improvements she made to her visage.

"Is that hungry look aimed at me or the incoming dinner?" she stifles a giggle.

"Sooo pretty..." I keep staring at her like a moth drawn to a flame.

She put on her Nightguard horseshoes which by themselves wouldn't be anything interesting but the gilded surface compliments her tail braided into two interlocking strands well. She turns around and I almost swallow my tongue. The little binding at the base of her tail and the braids that make it very thin offer her almost no protection from prying eyes like mine focused at her backside.

"H-how did you do all that so quickly?" I can't even think of a good compliment, nothing I could say would do the simplicity, sexiness and hidden class justice.

"Plenty of experience, Blaze," she winks.

I feel reeeeeeally grubby compared to her but I can't let it show, this is her evening.

I have to gather all my courage when the door slams shut behind us. This is my first date after all. I can't even imagine how I would feel if it was with somepony who wasn't in love with me already, at least a bit. I guess I should just push my advantage.

Okay then, I don't exactly have this thing planned out but I've found out from the Cakes that there's a nice restaurant not far from here that isn't super high-class but is clean and has a good reputation. All in all it is a place where a normal pony would take his partner to feel a little bit pampered without the hassle of microscopic portions of food and obnoxious waiters connected with true high-society estabilishments.

The greeting pony hiccups a bit when he notices the unusual details about Choking but gathers his wits remarkably fast and bows slightly.

"Welcome to the White Castle, sir, madam."

"Hello, erm, we have a reservation under the name Shady," I almost shiver at his official stare.

"Ah yes," he waves at one of the waiters, shows him the name and table number and nods at us, "Follow him to your table."

"Thanks."

"Have a nice evening."

"Shady?" Choking pokes me as we follow the waiter through the full but not crowded hall lit by chandeliers dimmed enough to ensure privacy to everypony sitting at the tables.

"Well, you know... Light... Darkness..."

Why does it sound so much worse when I have to say it?

"Ya know that I could jab at ya for this the eeeentire evening, right?"

"Well, at least I'll be entertaining. They say mares love a guy who can make them smile," I grin, very probably like a complete idiot.

She just smiles inwardly.

"What's wrong?" I ask at the reaction.

"Nothing," she shakes her head, "Feeling confident then?"

"As long as they don't ask me to cook what we order then I think the evening should be fine. Besides, I have the advantage of not having to try too hard to make you come with me on a second date unlike most of the others here."

She looks around and scowls.

"Sorry... am I making you feel as if I take you for granted?"

Her look when she snaps from whatever trance she was in proves that what's bothering her isn't anything I said.

"No no no it's just," she looks at me thoughtfully, "nothing, nevermind."

I look around but I can't see much thanks to the ingenious lighting.

She sort of managed to kill the light-hearted mood but I'm not complaining, I'm still here with her.

"I'll just have to take your mind off things," I nuzzle her neck.

Okay, I don't know why or how but while I can't see or hear anything wrong I can definitely feel the atmosphere turning unfriendly. It weakens when we sit down at our table and the waiter gives us the menu... menus... menii?

Menus.

I can almost feel the growl inside me shake my bones. Still, I don't feel the animosity being aimed at me but somewhere else.

"Blaze, you okay?" a menu gently pokes my head.

"Wha?"

"You've been looking around for past minute. Are ya ready to order?"

"Eh no, give me a second."

I look around one last time and something brown obscures my vision. Choking pushes the side of my head with her menu to look at her and then down at mine.

"We don't have to eat here if ya don't feel right."

What? Nonononono.

"Ice salad!" I blurt out, "White wine. Eleven-vegetable soup. Sweet beans?"

"Sounds great. White wine?"

"Can't drink too much red and then black out on you."

"Ooo, red and black. Another pun?"

Uh, what?

"Mhm, totally."

"You're a bad liar."

"I hope so. Don't wanna lie to you anyway and if I ever slip I'll make sure you know."

"D'awwww. Stop making me weak at the knees, or better yet - leave it for later."

The waiter comes back with a little pad and a quill.

"What'll it be?"

The orders sort of make me cringe as Choking apparently has a very strange taste concerning combining fruit and vegetables... and pastry. Whatever, as long as it makes her happy I shouldn't care.

"I should amuse you somehow while we wait, right?" I ask after the waiter leaves.

"Not really, my experience, and I have a ton of that, taught me that only little girls who have no idea what they want ask for that. I, fortunately, have enough substance to do it myself, I hope."

The silence draws out.

"Or maybe not. Amuse me, slave!" she grins and claps.

Rolling my eyes, I go through the repertoire of icebreakers I have and quickly find out there are none. I can remember things and details when I see them or hear about them but trying to pull something out just like that is impossible.

Maybe that could be it? My greatest problem might be my strength in this situation.

"Eerm. How are things going at the asylum? You always talk about the lady that likes cacti too much. Is she old or something?"

"Miss Pearl? She's really nice and shares cookies she gets from her daughter in Canterlot. Well, last week she tried to share them with Screwloose, another patient who thinks she's a dog, and I had to pull them apart otherwise she'd have drowned the old lady in slobber."

"I would think asylum would be a more evil place. You know, maniacs and such."

"The place here in Ponyville is one of the calm sort. During my days as a guard in Canterlot I visited one there and that was waaaaay different."

Why do I feel so uneasy and why does she keep cringing and twitching her ears?

"Something bad happened?"

"No, what made ya think that?"

"You... keep twitching."

"It's nothing. Do ya like this place?"

"Never been here before."

"I know. I mean right here and now."

Okay, she knows my tells better than anypony.

"Honestly, I feel as if somepony was planning to smack me over the head with a mallet as soon as I leave."

She smiles and wipes her eyes.

"Yea, you're not a changeling anymore so ya probably can't hear them. Remember your crazy journal entry? He, or something from him, can hear the ponies around laughing at us and talking smack. I can see them looking at us even in this light."

"Can you ignore them? It would suck to have a dinner like this ruined by a bunch of idiots."

"I really wish I could, Blaze, but I can't turn my ears off."

"What are they saying?"

"Ya... don't wanna know."

Seeing her nervously drum the table I just let go and feel the burning bile inside me.

"Shield your eyes, love," I whisper.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"OWWWWWWWWW!"

"WHAT THE HAY?!"

I grin victoriously. If there's one thing I understand about my past self it is that nopony ever messes with Chokey and leaves unscathed. The little point of light that appeared on my horn was so bright it must have permanently damaged the eyes of everypony looking directly in our direction.

Serves them right, small-minded, vitriolic, assholes.

Calm down, it's okay now.

"SHUT! UP!" I scream, having no idea where it came form, "Will you stupid hicks just shut up?! I don't care about anypony around here and YES, I AM INSANE!-"

I stand up and a small bolt of black lightning strikes the floor at some of the tables.

"Blaze-"

"NO! These ignorant worms will NEVER insult you behind your back again and if I hear any lie about blood sucking AGAIN then I WILL OBLITERATE SAID PONY AND EVERY SINGLE MEMORY OF HIM OR HER!"

A black crystal crashes from the ground and impales the table of some wretch trying to defend his hateful attitude, spraying him with food remnants.

My head is spinning.

"Come on, let's go home," Chokey pushes me.

"You will remember her, because she's the only reason you ponies aren't on fire and screaming!"

"Come oooon," I'm being pushed towards the exit.

I cough and collect myself.

"Alright, I'm fine but one more untrue word and I will," the cracking of more black crystals growing from the walls forces some weak squeals from ponies, "end your miserable little existence."

"Blaaaze-" Chokey pushes me out of the door.

"AND SCREW, MAY I ADD, YOU!"

Wiping my forehead, the not-completely-my rage fades and I can feel my legs shaking harder than a plugged blender.

"Sorry for ruining the evening. I just couldn't-" I begin.

"Don't even start. I know where all that came from and they had it coming. The black crystals were new though, never seen that one before."

"Eeerm-"

"One more apology and I won't shove ya into the tub and give ya a full-body scrubbing."

"Ssssss- I mean if you insist."

"That's better. You're now my berserker in shining armor."

"I'm yours. Unleash me and I'll go to the ends of Equestria for you."

"I think I'll just keep ya close."

With my body slowly losing all energy I have to lean on Chokey to get home but I guess that's what partners are for, to help when the other can't find the strength to go on.

Comments

[Anonymous Critic]

"Welcome to the White Castle, sir, madam."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Ice Justice]

Ooh, seems Sombra is still alive and kicking. Unless old blaze just ate him and absorbed his knowledge.

Anyway, I never did get around to complimenting your humor in these things. Little things like "menii" and the humans in flying teacups to Chokey and Blaze's LITERALLY ABYSMAL cooking. You're very good at subtle humor that doesn't detract from the ongoing narrative or mess up the established tone, though that could just be because you're good at controlling the pendelum of tone from "Sombra is going to kill everyone but only if Blaze doesn't kill them first" to "let's watch these idiots try to have dinner without exploding viscerally" and back again.

[JazzyWaffles]

9501969
Blaze learned Sombra's spells if memory serves.

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

9709918
I'd say evidence points that way, yes. Also inherited his temper.