Chapter One: A Whole New World (Revised)
(0600 HOURS, November 3, 2552 (MILITARY CALENDAR) \ ZETA DORADUS SYSTEM, IN ORBIT ABOVE PLANET ONYX \ SECTOR BETA DELTA 4 \ ON SHIP UNSC ALBATROSS)
Lt. Colonel Ajax scrambled to get his team ready the Covenant Flagship ASCENDANT JUSTICE along with a fleet of destroyer class warships had just exited slip-space. “Move battle stations! Get the MAC cannons ready, shields at max, and get the Chief out of cryo NOW!” his mean saluted and ran to the computers.
The cryo pod hissed steam blasting out the side the MJOLNIR armor inside protecting Spartan-117 or The Chief as he was known, the top of the pod opening and lifting up.
Cortana Master Chief’s AI (artificial intelligence) voice rang through his helmet “Chief Lt. Colonel needs you on the bridge we have multiple Covenant vesicles inbound towards Onyx.” The Chief sighed wishing the rest of Spartan Blue Team was here to back him even though he never needed it he had extreme luck that followed him for some reason.
Moving out of the cryo pod and into the room where a BR55 Battle Rifle and a M6 sidearm, clipping it to his side and slinging it over his shoulder him moved to the elevator his heavy MJOLNIR clicking on the hard metal floor.
“Cortana, give me a visual on the incoming vesicles.” A small mini screen popped up showing the Covenant fleet Chief sighed “Cortana send word to the ground forces on Onyx.”
A small blue figure with flowing with Covenant hieroglyphs appeared on his faceplate “Sorry Chief the ships are blocking our communications with Onyx, there is also something strange about this fleet of Covenant there telling us to move out of the way, they don’t want a fight.”
The Chief sighed, the elevator doors opened with a slight hiss reluctantly he stepped on it the doors closed. The elevator shot upward then slowly decreased in speed until it came to a complete stop the doors hissed open again but this time it opened onto a rounded deck with viewpoints of thick glass showing the incoming armada, computers lined the deck a captain’s chair set in the middle with Lt. Colonel Ajax sat on it, John sighed all that stood between that armada and Onyx was the UNSC ALBATROSS
“Sir MAC cannon charged at 75% one minute till full charge, the Covenant are trying to hail us sir.”
Ajax nodded “Send it through.” A shimmering figure of the Elite Shipmaster came into view “What do you want, Shipmaster?”
The Elite’s mandibles moved though no sound came through the translator working on what he was saying “Humans, move out of
are way or we will destroy you the gods smile upon us we will not ask again.” The image distorted and flashed off.
Ajax cursed to himself “Chief what do you think?”
John sighed “We need to get out of there way, we stand no chance I will go in on a booster frame and storm the flag ship I’ll take two Falcon-99 nuclear warheads and blow it.”
Ajax nodded “Roger that I’ll order your booster frame to be prepped and ready. John nodded and turned towards the elevator and took it down to the hanger.
(1000 HOURS, NOVEMBER 3, 2552 (MILITARY CALENDAR) \ ZETA DORADUS SYSTEM, PLANET ONYX \ NEAR RESTRICTED REGION ZONE 67)
Stun rounds pinged off of Spartan-073's MJOLNIR armor, smiling he sprinted jumping over the DI's somersaulting on the other side he raised his MA5K rifle sending a dozen stun rounds hitting the DI's SIP armor sending them screaming to the ground he saluted them and sprinted towards the rendezvous point, small dust clouds coming up behind him.
He flashed his green acknowledgment light twice indicating "friendly" three more lights winked once indicating "Come on in" sliding into the hollowed out rock he was greeted with his fellow Spartans; Spartan-102 Mark "Snake", Spartan-03 Kelly "Rabbit", Spartan-081 Holly "Archer". This was team Foxtrot there MJOLNIR armor blending in with the bushes around the rock, Tom placed two fingers in a V on his face plate the others did the same this sign the "Spartan smile" as many troops called it meant more than words.
Tom took off his helmet and running a glove over his freshly shaved head his eyes a bright blue a scar just under his eye from a close call with live ammo, Kelly took off hers as well her golden-brown hair flowing out even though this was not allowed Kelly had a way with words to convince there NCO to let her keep her hair smiling her emerald green eyes looking at Tom, they had been seeing each other in secret, relationships between Spartans was strictly prohibited. Holly took her helmet off as well her brown eyes and flat top suit her a devilish smile crossed her face whispering she broke the silence "So Tomboy what's the plan the DI's will find us soon enough."
Mark nodded keeping his helm on the team never saw him without it on it bugged Tom not seeing all his team without their helms.
"Well we have nine out of ten DI's down, one more before we win and we will win. We need to get better ground Holly you will post up in a tree use the sniper you’re the best shot, Kelly you run the DI's into our trap, Mark do what you to best use your electric batons to make sure they stay down, I’ll provide cover for Kelly. Ready?" nods came from the others "Okay on three we take up positions." slipping on his helm he held up three fingers 3...2...1... He made a fist and pulled down saying "Go" they burst from their hiding position.
Kelly sprinted stun rounds hitting inches away from her feet just where and whizzing past her head, 100 meters till the trap would spring, Kelly dared to look back four DI's in their SIP armor ran after her there MA5K blasting stun rounds but missing their mark, 50 meters and closing she smiled, this is going to be good she thought. She sprinted as fast as she could closing the gap all she had to do was wait, as Kelly ran past the point Mark and Tom tossed a flash the DI's stopped blinded their ears ringing.
Holly then shot each of them in their SIP armor freezing them falling to the ground, Mark then walked up to each of them taping them on the head with his baton marking them dead. Tom broke radio silence.
"Good job guys 9 down 1 to go. Okay lets go over the plan Holly and Mark flank left Me and Kelly will flank right Holly use that sniper and take him out if anything goes wrong Mark will cover you, If it does go to shit me and Kelly will move in and take them out, clear?" three green acknowledgment winked back to him "Okay move out."
The Spartans moved like shadows slipping in and out of cover looking for any enemy movement Tom went into TEAMCOM
"Tell me when you guys have visual on the target." green acknowledgment lights winked back at him.
Mark and Holly moved into a coroner of an open field in the middle was a bell that was their goal to ring the bell and eliminate all hostiles along to the side of the bell was Sergeant Trent the one that trained them at only six years old having come to Onyx being injected with varies of drugs to enhance their combat and thinking.
Holly loaded her sniper aiming at the Sergeant's head smiling she pulled the trigger the bullet flew straight through his head only his figure distorted and flickered out Holly yelled on the TEAMCOM
"IT'S A TRAP!" as the figure distorted, two Mk 7 stun round turrets fired from there hidden spots in the tree hitting Holly with a storm of stun rounds freezing her yelling in pain she fell to the ground Mark, Kelly, and Tom all hit the ground crawling to the trees where the turrets stat waiting to see their next target.
Tom spoke up "Okay Mark climb up and disable the turrets." two green lights wink back, they climbed up unhitching the bolts connecting them to the trees falling to the ground with a thump. "Okay now to find Sargent Trent..."
Tom sighed this is getting harder than he thought. Kelly, Mark and Tom moved in the undergrowth their MJOLNIR blending in perfectly, the “shadows” moved into the enemy territory Tom could not shake the feeling in his gut something’s wrong he did not know what but he knew something very, very bad was going to happen.
Mark stopped holding his MA5 rifle level he pushed the bush to the side he saw the DI’s that were “dead” limping off the field there legs still numb from the stun rounds. Tom stopped the shadows changed he looked up the sun had changed what time was it six, seven? No looking up again he saw something that shocked him there were two suns. One purple and blue with flares, the other normal little did he know what had happened the ASCENDANT JUSTICE was decimated with two Falcon-99 warheads scrap metal flying towards the UNSC ALBATROSS it’s front shields bouncing the metals away and back into space.
Tom turned on the CATCOM and radioed for their commanding officer “Sir have you looked up?” tom said looking at the second sun.
“I have To, pull back the training can wait get Holly and meet us at base we’re sending you into Zone 67.”
“Roger sir, meet you there in ten minutes.” Zone 67? That was off limits whatever was going on it had to be coming from zone 67.
(1000 HOURS, November 3, 2552 (MILITARY CALENDAR) \ ZETA DORADUS SYSTEM, IN ORBIT ABOVE PLANET ONYX \ SECTOR BETA DELTA 4 \ ON SHIP UNSC ALBATROSS)
Master Chief stepped off the elevator looking over the room in the center was a Booster Frame they had readied for him, the small metal craft had jets on both “wings” (if you could even call them that) the main jets flaring the craft lifted a foot off the ground.
Engineers running around making sure all systems were a go. To his left there was a pack filled with ammo for his BR55 Battle Rifle and a M6 pistol, sitting just to the right of that were two Falcon-99 warheads equipped with detonator and codes he snapped the nuclear cargo onto his back hearing the satisfying clink smiling on the inside, this was going to be one hell of a ride.
Slinging the pack over his back he nodded to the engineers saying “Tell the Lt. I’m going.”
They nodded moving away from the frame as Master Chief sat he quickly checked everything over again making sure everything was good.
The Lt.’s voice came in on through his TEAMCOM “Good luck god speed Spartan.”
John gunned it the jets flaring as he was propelled into space his oxygen recyclers turned on making sure he had enough air to breath, he closed on the armada the Flagship looming ahead he activated the cloaking so he would come up as near invisible to the Covenant scanners, John readied his one MK4 Shield/Armor piercing missile he only had one shot.
300 meters until target destination, he would fire it at the bottom of the Flagship entering in the hanger once inside he hoped he had enough firepower to take on the enemies that loomed behind the ship’s walls. John pulled the trigger instantly de-cloaking the missile leaving a small smoke line as it spiraled towards the Flagship it launched a dozen smaller missiles impacting the ships shield leaving a hole in it that soon started to close but not fast enough the missile flew past it and impacted blowing a hole in the haul of the ship leaving John a window into the Covenant ship.
He flew in feeling the artificial gravity hit him instantly he and the booster frame dropped hovering only a mere foot above the purplish floor. Green and blue plasma rounds flew past his head the Elites and Grunts firing, Jackals with their shields formed lines and inter-linked them forming almost what looked like a wall John sighed was this really all the Covenant had to throw at him? It was almost an insult. He hopped off the Frame and sprinted to the line of jackals zigzagging the plasma as the occasional one hit his shields setting off a golden flair he chucked two frags into the line of Jackals they scattered he raised his rifle firing three round bursts as their shields did not cover them any longer.
He then aimed his M6 magnum picking off the Grunts making their methane tanks exploding causing the Elites’ shields to shimmer a white-blue John then slid picking up a Jackals arm shield and deploying in still charging he slammed into the closes Elite snapping its neck. He then moved like a ghost all that could be heard was the discharge of plasma based weapons, screaming of the Covenant forces, and his boots clicking loudly on the metal floor.
John stopped as nothing stood alive “Cortana find me a rout to the main battery on this ship.”
“Sure Chief.” A blue indicator popped up “Chief the Covenant is likely to be on high alert now you made quite a mess.”
He snorted “Yeah I’ll be quiet.”
He sprinted, passing Seraph Fighters the Covenant’s main space to space aircraft although it was used for bombing as well, coming up on a triangular shaped door it slid open not much security they weren't expecting to be boarded. He silently thought moving quietly from hall to hall. Only Grunts stood in his way screaming and fleeing as soon as they saw him only to be silenced with a swift crack of the neck, he made his way to the main battery no guards, this was a bad sign. Was it possible the Covenant just wanted to “pass by” he pushed these thoughts aside pulling the Falcon warheads from his back he entered the code “whisky, tango, foxtrot, delta, and zeta.” He set the timer for Five minutes a small time appeared on his HUD starting it he made his way back to the hanger something was wrong never has a Covenant ship let alone a Flagship had so little forces.
He entered the hangar greeted with a strong metal plate hitting him his shielded instantly flared and dissipated hunters. He tossed two frags disorientating the hunters as they ducked behind their heavy metal plates, he then then ran at them the first hunter swung he slid under it dogging the second’s with a roll smiling he ran at them again. Cortona's voice ringing in his helm.
“Chief only two minutes!” he checked the timer 2:07 damn, he had to move fast. Sprinting he jumped over the hunter as he swung priming a plasma grenade, then wedging in underneath the hunters back plate. It blew sending a pool of orange blood along with the eel like creatures everywhere, the second hunter screamed for his fallen brother it charged.
To slow, John dodged it and cocked back his forearm back then proceeding to push with all his force palming the second hunter sending its head flying it fell at his feet.
“30 seconds Chief!” he ran for his Booster Frame jumping onto it he gunned it using the debris as a ram he jumped into space once again. He counted five, four, three, two, and one.
It exploded behind him the shock wave pushing him faster out into space his Booster Frame tumbled he struggled to regain balance, once he did he speed towards the ALBATROSS. The Covenant ships instantly fled. What? The Covenant never run, even if there flagship was decimated they never gave up they could have blown the ALBATROSS to bits if they wanted. John thought, something was not right but Onyx was safe for now.
(1100 HOURS, NOVEMBER 3, 2552 (MILITARY CALENDAR) \ ZETA DORADUS SYSTEM, PLANET ONYX \ NEAR RESTRICTED REGION ZONE 67)
Tom’s meeting with Commander L. Washington had gone well but one thing was clear they were headed into Zone 67 to find out what the hell was in there. Tom was promoted from a “Captain” (Spartans were all giving the rank of Captain) to his newly appointed rank of Major, so he could be in charge of team.
He sighed “Zone 67? Well here we are Ghosts of Onyx.”
He moved getting his team ready they all had duffel bags filled with the same gear MREs, Ammo, two spare M6’s, some sleeping gear. The only difference between each of them was their primary weapons Holly had her sniper, Kelly had dual M7 submachine guns, Mark had his M90 Shotgun, Tom had his basic gear only in his duffle bag was an M41 SSR MAV/AW Rocket Launchers with eight spare rockets, Com equipment and the prototype code named “Prometheus” was a long rifle close to the length of a sniper firing 50 cal. with a magazine size of thirty.
With their gear packed and loaded they were escorted to two warthogs one with a M68 Gauss Cannon the other with an AIE-485 Heavy machine gun they packed up and rolled out passing the gate that lead to Zone 67 or as the other teams called the point of no return as they passed the gates closed locking on the other side they slowly made their way to the indicator of a slipspace rupture there they found a circular “Portal” for lack of a better term. Stopping, Tom tried to raise command nothing the Slip-space field was messing with their equipment, after an hour Tom decided they would drive the warthogs into the portal.
“Okay guys there may be Covenant on the other side I want both turrets ready to fire the moment we enter don’t fire until my command. Also we may not communicate with command so we may have to fly dark for a while, we have enough ammo and food to last about nine to ten day plus we can always hunt wildlife.” He turned to Kelly “Kelly you're on recon. Holly you’re the best shot cover her if any hostiles show up, Mark stay with me we will be driving the Warthogs.” Three green lights winked they packed out and rolled out, heading into the portal.
Tom felt like his insides were ripped out of his armor the forced back in as they went to the other side he resisted the urge to throw up although Holly and mark could not they threw off their helmets puking over the sides of the warthogs. Looking around they landed in a field a nice clear night sky filled with stars the moon high overhead, no sign of Covenant activity Holly and Kelly hopped off the turrets and went off to scout the area tom and Mark stayed back and unloaded supply’s.
Kelly came in on the TEAMCOM “Tom… you need to see this.” Tom and mark ran sprinted up to where Kelly and Holly laid, before them was a town. It was nothing to look at it resembling the ones in the stories told by the older Marries as they talked about earth.
There was no sign of enemy movement what ever lived here must be sleeping, or maybe it was abandoned. Tom wished they reported back before going through the “Portal” or a quantum slipspace rupture as the eggheads called it, looking back he cursed it had closed.
He sighed letting thoughts wander in the middle of a dangerous environment was a stupid mistake to make, running back to the warthogs he grabbed the long range com hardware “This is Spartan-073 reporting.” Static was the only response. “Come in command this is Spartan-073 we have made it through to the middle of Zone 67 finding a “Portal” we have entered and cannot get back, please respond.” No luck. Sighing he placed it down, no communication with the UNSC, they were in a land that none of them knew about, and with limited food and ammo just great.
Making his way back to the group he whispered “Okay Kelly go scouting in the village, Holly find a vantage point don’t let Kelly out of your sigh, Mark let’s go set up camp. Meet back up with us in ten.” They nodded Mark and Tom walked back unloading everything, lying out there sleeping bags and getting a fire started."
Kelly ran from shadow to shadow it was as if everything was peaceful a little too peaceful if you asked her, she could see shadows in windows creatures they looked almost like a horse only they had rounder faces and short snouts she could hear laughing and quiet mummers.
Holly ran from roof to roof following Kelly her boots slightly clicking on the shingles her MJOLNIR armor unevenly blending into the night sky. The moonlight was unnatural too, light her visor polarized to 20% she hated the feeling like something big was going to happen, pushing the thoughts to the side she focused on staying on over watch.'
Kelly ducked into and ally feeling the water underneath her boots causing a loud splash she cursed under her breath lights in the window above her flicked on freezing she pressed herself under the window hoping whatever was inside did not look down.
The window was pushed open a shadow thrown upon the wall opposite wall. It was small, and had two, no four legs, a rounded face, short snout, small rounded ears on the top of its head. The two front legs swung out only inches from Kelly’s face that had what looked like a blue fur coat its legs short and at the end a, hoof?
A voice sounded above her “Hello, anypony out there?” the shock of it being able to speak and even E.S.E. (Earth Standard English) she radioed Tom.
“We need to talk I’m coming back early.” Hearing this Tom was worried this could only be bad, not only where they in a world unknown by the UNSC and the Covenant, no communication to command, and an unknown creature who was neither friend nor foe.
Kelly ran in between the streets of the village, the “pony” having given up and when back to bed, she was scared and confused why the hell the god above would send us to this place she thought as she ran.
Holly sprinted after Kelly she could not see into the darkened alley but something a spooked Kelly, Holly was worried was it the Covenant or maybe a new threat. She sighed “Damn Kelly why do you spook so easily.” She said to no one.
Holly jumped from roof to roof hopping upon the shingle covered roofs, she watched Kelly run she would not admit to herself that she was scared. Her imagination creating images of monsters, she jumped but not far enough she feel grabbing onto a gutter it creaked and would soon give out do to the weight of her armor she fell, land with a smash leaving a small crater she cursed and ran after Kelly light after light turned on the creatures waking up from the sound of a ton of metal crashing to the ground.
Kelly and Holly come to a stop at the warthogs gasping for air, “Sitrep now.” Tom ordered, he and Kelly stepped away she explaining what had happen and the word “Anypony” he puzzled over it.
“Sounds like a bad pun, but it did give us a clue they think of themselves as ponies did you get a good look at it?” she shook her head, he sighed “Go back and get some rest, we will walk into town in the morning.” Walking back Tom sighed “Nothing yet I’ll take first watch you all get some rest.” They nodded settling down he soon heard soft snores from Kelly smiling at his Spartan girlfriend he stood watch and waited. He woke Mark an hour later and drifted asleep soon after.
(1000 HOURS, NOVEMBER 4, 2552 (MILITARY CALENDAR) \ SPACE UNKNOWN, PLANET UNKNOWN \ MISSION CLASSIFIED \ SPARTAN TEAM FOXTROT DECLARED MIA BY COMMANDER L. WASHINGTON)
Tom woke his team yawning they eat the MREs and packed up the hogs, slipping the keys the engine gave a low growl the radio turned on “GOOD MORNING Equestria! You’re here with DJ Nightshade. How are all you good looking ponies doing?”
Tom was stunned “What the hell did he just say?” Tom said looking over his team to see if he was dreaming the team stood staring at the radio “Guys Earth to team foxtrot hello?”
Holly was the first to break out of the trance “Well guess we know where we are some place called Equestria.” There were murmurs in agreement, Tom sighed looks like they were hitting the town.
Screams came from everywhere the 'ponies' running every which way screaming at the top of their lungs as Foxtrot walked in to the town's market. Tom had ordered them not to fire seeing as how they acted like grunts and none were attacking there was no need for violence. After a bit the 'ponies' were all hiding, but six.
They stood about twenty feet from them, Tom took a moment to look over them, to the far left was pink with pink hair was like a cloud "puffy", she wore a necklaces with a blue balloon shaped gem set in the middle on her rear were three balloons much like the gem one yellow and the other two were blue she had cyan eyes, she wore a frown and a "death glare" as tom called it.
Next to her was a white pony with dark purple hair ending in curls it looked like she had used every hair care product ever to get her hair like that, she had a white horn poking out of her hair, her necklaces had a purple gem shaped like a diamond, she had the same diamonds but in blue, her eyes were a darker shade of blue she did not hold a death glare but they still said "I could fuck you up."
In the middle was a lavender pony instead of a necklace like all the others had she wore a tiara with a pink star shaped gem she had purple eyes and blue hair with a single stripe of purple and ink jetting up for that was a single horn. With the way she was standing tom could not see her tattoo but he figured it would be a pink or purple star.
Next to her was an orange pony with blond hair, her eyes were a dark green, she wore a red apple gem in her necklace and her tattoo was the same but there were three instead of one her eyes switched from Tom to his team then back to Tom. There was something yellow and pink hiding behind her he figured it was another pony.
Hovering in the sky was a cyan pony, she had rainbow hair, her cyan wings beat heavily as she floated, her magenta eyes glared at Tom angry and if he had just hurt her pride, her necklace held a red lightning bolt her tattoo was a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt shooting down from it.
Tom told his team to stop; he slowly slung his rifle over his shoulder and started to walk towards the group. "We come in peace." he smiled to himself remembering that movie quote, suddenly his shields flared, "What the fuck hit me?" he thought, he started to talk again "We mean no harm we just want to get to our home world." nothing, he sighed "Please just hear us out"
His shields flared again, his team moved up rifles held level pointing at the six as the middles one horn glowed a deep pink sending small bursts of the ora at Tom. He looked as his team, they had set up positions in a semicircle ready to fire.
"Stand down," Tom yelled the six ponies turn their eyes back at Tom, his team lowered their weapons but stayed on guard, he could feel the disapproving looks burning the back of his neck
He sighed looking back he saw the yellow pony had come to look her pink hair was cropped to one side, her necklace had a pink butterfly, her tattoo was three pink winged blue bodied butterfly's.
"Will you hear us out?" he asked getting them to turn back to him and not the rest of the team, the lavender one stepped forward the ora still disappeared from her horn.
"Maybe," she said in feminine voice, Female got it, he makes a mental note, as she placed a hoof on her chin looking at him as she questioned what he was, after a minute or two she smiled up at him and held out a hoof "Of course, but you will have to speak to our ruler." reluctantly he shakes her hoof before he hears the cyan pony speak.
"But Twi, we don't even know them, plus they have weapons and you want to take them to Celestia herself!" she yells out. Another female... are they all female, they do look to be, it may be safe to think they all are, He think as He watch them bicker.
"Rainbow, Celestia has more magic and she may be able to tell me what these things are." She says pointing a hoof at Tom
"But-" he starts to say but is cut off.
"No what if there way more powerful than her, they could kill her then there would be any sun anymore!" the cyan one yells.
Wait what no sun if we killed this Celestia person, how the fuck does that work, he looks back at his team, they are still standing ready to draw weapons if need be but looking at him, he sighs.
"Um... Can I ask you guys something?" The ponys turn to Tom the cyan one glares at him as the other just nods. "How long is this going to take me and my team would love to go back to our realm ASAP." he says with a nod
The cyan one stares at Tom then to the lavender pony and sighs "Whatever, but I have my eyes on you."
The lavender pony smiles and nods to me "I'm Twilight, that's Rainbow Dash," she points at the cyan pony she was just arguing with "Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy." She points them one at a time. "I will have to write a letter to Celestia to see if she can come over to Ponyville."
A letter, that’s fucking going to take weeks, Tom sighs "Is there any faster way than sending a letter that could take weeks to get there?"
Twilight gives me a confused look "What do you mean I’ll have spike send it, it should only take a few seconds, then she will
probably teleport here." she says with a smile.
"Wait teleportation? Sorry but I can't say I believe you but then again I thought I was dreaming this all so what do I know." Tom states clearly.
"Permission to speak, sir?" Tom looks to see Kelly has stepped forwards.
Twilight looks between us "Why does she have to ask to talk?" she looks at Kelly a hoof again on her chin.
"Because I’m a higher rank, Granted, What is It Captain?" I look at Kelly turning my back on the ponies.
"Well sir, we should get back to the warthogs and gather the duffle bags I fear one of the... ponies may get to close." She says as she takes off her helm, letting her golden-brown hair falling and blowing in the wind.
"You may be right Captain. Very well we will go back; Miss. Twilight our camp is on the edge of the town." He points north "Come on team back to camp." They walk the rest of the way silently, leaving the six ponies staring.
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4355801 Noted I'll fix it when my flight lands.
Where did this John character come from? He is neither mentioned or described, he just suddenly appears.
Who is this 'Tom' character, he was never introduced or described
Under which eye?
Revise this paragraph, it's hard to make any sense out of it
How do they know the guns are weapons? Are guns canon in this universe?
Don't switch between first and third person. It's either first person or third person in a chapter, never both.