ATTENTION:
Note from Iron Hooves
Hey Every Pony! This is my first fanfic and I'd really love feedback that can help me grow as a writer and artist. All the images that I will use in this story will be ones that I have personally drawn and I will add music links from YouTube (right click and open into a new tab) to help create a more in depth mood and atmosphere for the piece as a whole. I hope you all enjoy it.
Deuces Wild: Chapter 1
Running from Yourself
“You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” In an expulsion of smoke, Trixie ran from Ponyville as fast as she could. All she could hear in her mind was the laughing. The relentless mocking and cackling emanated from twisted crowd of ponies became to resemble beasts from the Everfree Forest. The echo from them left a hollow and empty feeling in her chest, which made her accelerated heart beat reverberate throughout her meek frame. Her lungs began to burn and felt as if they were screaming for air, but she didn't stop running. How could she? She had lost everything that she'd ever owned when that Ursa Minor destroyed her trailer without even batting an eye. “There was nothing left for me to do but run,” she thought to herself, as if trying to justify the reason to some other pony in some type of internal monologue as she replayed the previous hour in her head.
As Trixie continued to run as fast as she could, the brush she passed through began to nick the flesh on her forehoofs and face. Her salty tears traced from her tightly shut eyes down her face and into the newly open wounds and Trixie began to feel the acidic burn, making her gallop with reckless abandon and shake her head, now sobbing out loud. She tried to open her eyes after she realized that she was still in mid-sprint, but her haste, Trixie tripped over a tree root and started to tumble, crashing into the brush. She laid on the ground for a second, regaining her senses. She examined her forehoof; 'it wasn't broken...' she thought to herself. She tried to apply pressure, but her weight was too much for it and she immediately winced at the pain. 'This is not good....I must have sprained it...'
Trixie began to limp for a few steps before she stopped again. Her vision blurred with more tears, but this was the first time that she had acknowledged them.
“Stop this at once....The Great and Powerful Trixie does not cry! She's better than that....she....”
Her thoughts raced back to the day's events....
"BOO!"
“Show off!”
“Hack!”
“Fraud!”
“Liar!”
Her mind raced with the memories of the past hour and exactly how she ended up into this situation. The sheer embarrassment of not only being upstaged by some nopony in such a simple town, but the public ostracization and crowd openly mocking her abilities had utterly destroyed her confidence. Especially after the fact that her magic did nothing to even remotely affect the Ursa Minor except to successfully upset it.
Suddenly, she heard a snap of a branch from behind her. She quickly looked over her shoulder.
"Hello? Is anypony there?" Trixie's voice cracked. The leaves of the bush crunched and rustled and out emerged a grim towering figure. At first, Trixie thought that her eyes had played tricks on her and that the tree itself had moved from behind her. The thick texture of the figure was rustic, and as she looked further up the creature, she saw the jagged edges of sharp fangs glistening from the moonlight and deep orbs for eyes that had an unnatural glow to them which struck fear deep inside her.
Trixie tried to get to her feet, but stumbled and a sharp pain shot up her injured leg. She let out a yelp and the creature howled. Trixie's vision may have been impaired for the moment, but she knew exactly what creature made that sound and for what reason: a timber wolf alerting the pack of fresh prey.
Trixie looked around her and one by one, each timber wolf slowly and surely emerged from the brush, each with the same glowing eyes and teeth that could easily pierce straight through her like butter. She tried to dart between the pack, but was immediately rejected and swatted to the ground. She tried to stand up and failed.
Trixie lost all feeling in her body, and her brain just completely shut off. Her legs began to shake and gave out under her weight and she fell into a fetal position.
With nowhere left to turn or run, Trixie did something that she hadn't done since she was a filly. She doubted herself.
A glare from a pair of reflected light emitted from high in the canopy of the forest and watched as the timber wolves surrounded Trixie. It studied the gathering shapes intently, never taking its eyes off of the wounded unicorn. The alpha approached the cowering mare and flashed its toothy grin. The pack was barking to intimidate its helpless prey, but when the alpha let out an eerie howl into the crisp night air, the rest fell silent knowing their place. Icy chills ran down Trixie’s spine and tears ran freely down her face.
Suddenly from the distance, a fierce roar penetrated through the growls of the pack and the wolves' ears perked back at the sound. The pack became hesitant, but the alpha remained stronger and unfalteringly continued to stand above Trixie, jaws agape hovering inches from her exposed neck. Trixie cringed as she felt his hot breath and saliva dripping onto her coat. As if the creature was coming closer at an exponential speed, a second roar echoed through the night, this time with more aggression came from behind them. The pack began to whimper and retreated to the woods, while the alpha growled at Trixie before joining them.
Trixie curled herself into a tighter ball, at this point she was too scared to cry anymore, it was as if her tears had all but dried up and her heart was pounding faster than before. She wasn't sure what was going on, but her imagination ran wild with the thought of a timber wolf pack fighting a manticore fighting over her ragged and mangled corpse. She closed her eyes and anticipated the sweet release of death, her last thought being of her mother and just wishing to return home to simpler times.
Nice drawing. Also good story, keep it up
Interesting idea, as I always felt that that maybe the two negative personalities could form something postive in an interesting friendship.
Very good for a first timer, heck very good altogether. One negative thing I caught out of that was: smiled through its grin. That seems a bit redundant don't you think? Aside from that, very good showing as opposed to telling, solid action, and you ended it on a point of intrigue. You'll go far on this site sir. I an just tell. Keep it up, I await more of this story.
Even if I don't consider what I know about this story that other reader's don't, this is really nice. There aren't very many pieces of literature that can maintain its intensity/drama while I'm speed-reading it to go do some daily tasks.
This is going better than my first story already, so I've got high hopes for you. Expect some edition from me in your inbox before sometime tomorrow, or maybe even tonight. (Don't get your hopes up, this is one of those rare days where I leave the 30 foot radius of my laptop for more than twenty minutes.)
Oh! I love the antennae aspect you added to the timber wolf. They're more like ears/horns in the episode, but I like this much better.
i.imgur.com/VD7zk.gif
Sweet!
If this goes where I think it will go, I will swear all loyalty to this fic. If this becomes the rare and beautiful and elusive Gildixie, I will sing your praises to all who will listen.
Take my Favorite, and an upthumb. And my loyal praise.
"right click and open into a new tab" - You could just middle click (or ctrl + click)
You don't need "&feature=related" on the YouTube link
399666 a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/w/awwyeahplz.png DO WANT!
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Hehe. To what are you referring? Not that I don't appreciate the vote of confidence bu I am curious.
401602 "the rare and beautiful and elusive Gildixie" poni.0au.de/images/characters/gilda.png
Also, you said "bu"
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Indeed. It is a much-desired pairing. It is why I have made two stories about it so far. I hope others take up the torch.
Yes, I did. On my phone FiMFiction is very slow, typing even more so. It has led to some typos.
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Thank you for much for the feedback and the vote of confidence. I was looking at that line too and I couldn't think of anything better at the time, but I just fixed it. I'll try and get the next chapter out soon.
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images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2566-mlfw2563-fluttercreppyfuck3.jpg
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You'll just have to wait and find out what I have in store....It'll be a !
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The more you know....
gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/77452_o.gif
&
cupofzup.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/knowing-is-half-the-battle.jpg
Thank you. Middle click is now canon.
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