This story has a shit-load of potential. I won't read it until it's completely finished, so I will be adding it to my Read Later list.
I can see this being featured in a day or two. Mark my words.

4401202 u probably meant shit list, why u no finish binche story Whitero?

Hmmm... interesting. Fav and upvote from the Sarge. Please do continue, I'm enthralled by this story.

Since this is your first story here let me give you some advice I´ve picked doing reading and editing work

Twilight slammed her hoof down to create a loud noise to get everypony to focus.

Try to show scenes not reasons, if you rephrase that to

"Twilight slammed her hoof down, gathering everypony attention to her"

or something similar you are showing us the scene, whats happening and not, the reasons when writing should be clear while reading it without the need to explain them to us, unless you are going deeper in the actions of a character, for one example as to why someone kept a secret, and even then it should still be a little clear to your readers.

Also this one

She started to fly toward the window then a purple aura surrounded on of her hooves and yanked her back down and smacked her against the wooden floor of the library.

this seems to extensive and the phrasing seems a little weird, try to use less "and" in favor for showing things with verbs

She started to fly toward the window when a purple aura surrounded one of her hooves, yanking her back down against the wooden floor of the library

this way even though lots of things happens you are showing it as a whole, not bit by bit

anyway this concept sounds interesting and has potential for many plots (HUZZAH! god i love those bad puns) that the story can take, so keep it up I´ll try to keep a close eye to this one to see what you do

P.S sorry for the long comment

4401447
Shit list? No, why would I do that?
I really DO want to read this. It's a fun, touching, original idea. I just want to wait until the story is finished. That's all.

Thank you all so much for your great feedback and criticism It's a nice surprise to come on here and see how much you like the story so far I'm definitely going to finish it. I just wanted to see what you guys had to say first so I knew if I should even bother but thank you all so much

4402143 I'll definitely go through and change some things, thank you for showing me a better way to write

This has my interest.

For now I shall nod my head and say, "I'll allow it."

Wow. They didn't seem to require a lot of persuasion for this plan. Hell, they didn't even need a proper explanation. Twilight never gave one. Have all of them secretly been thinking about doing this on there own but never did? Well, I guess if anyone deserves a harem, it's Fluttershy.