And They Call It Puppy Love

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 2

Screwloose sat on the park bench, fidgeting nervously. The sun had set. She could hear the faint ticking of the large brass clock. Down the walkway, two mares shared a bench, talking together. She believed their names were Bon Bon and Lyra. They looked happy together.

Screwloose felt miserable. Her guts were twisted into knots, and her frogs were sweaty. She realised with some dismay that she hadn’t combed her mane or her tail before leaving the house. She was so nervous that she wanted to chase her own tail, an urge that she repressed.

She brushed her silver mane out of her eyes and huffed a sigh. Her stomach rumbled. She had forgotten to eat dinner. Dating was a bad idea she concluded. When she got nervous, she neglected to care for herself, and then she ended up in these situations. Hungry, nervous, scared, and wanting to chase her own tail.

It was not mentally healthy.

She nervously chewed on a hoof, one eye twitching slightly, her ear twitching in time with it. Her other ear rotated in a circle over and over, an endless loop.

“Pssst!”

The noise came from behind her. She dropped her newspaper clutched under her foreleg.

“You not what I expected,” the voice said, “not at all.”

“I’m not?” Screwloose said, not daring to look behind her into the bushes.

“I had weird idea that you were like me. And living with ponies. Somehow.” The voice seemed concerned. A bit frightened perhaps. The voice was rather deep and scratchy.

“What?” Said Screwloose, now very confused on top of being nervous.

“You see what I am, you promise not to scream?” The voice said, sounding rather hopeful. “I’m hiding in bushes. I talk with you. Seem interesting, for a pony.”

“You’re not a pony?” Screwloose said, feeling her dock becoming itchy and sweaty.

“Um… No. Not pony.” The voice replied. “But I not eat ponies!” The voice added, afraid.

“That’s comforting.” Screwloose answered, the itching in her dock nearly driving her mad. She rolled off of the bench and turned to face the bushes. They moved, rustling slightly.

“Do you have a name?” Screwloose asked.

“My name,” the voice said in low cautious tones, “is Fleagle.”

“Thank you. Now I have a name to scream out loud should you try to murder me or something in the bushes.” Screwloose said, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly.

“If I like you, maybe we go drag butts through grass later.” Fleagle said, causing Screwloose to freeze in place.

“Whahuh?” Screwloose mumbled.

“I like butt dragging, you like butt dragging, we both like butt dragging, we should go drag racing.” Fleagle said in hopeful tones.

“Whahuh?” Screwloose repeated.

There was a chortle from in the bushes.

Screwloose willed her legs to move forward, plunging into the bushes, pushing past the trees and shrubbery, going deep into a hidden thicket.

In the middle of a small clearing, she saw a dog-like creature sitting on the ground, scratching his ear with a hind leg. Something that Screwloose did when nopony was looking. He was spotted and speckled, white, with tan and black markings.

“What are you?” Screwloose said in a whisper.

“I am a diamond dog. My name is Fleagle of the doghouse of Beagle.” Fleagle replied.

“You are not what I was expecting.” Screwloose said.

Fleagle chuckled quietly.

“I’m not what you were expecting either.” Screwloose said. “What brings you to Ponyville?”

“I live here.” Fleagle said, his long droopy ears perking slightly. “I live here and eat what silly ponies throw away. I read your newspapers. This place is great. Not like home.”

“Home?” Screwloose said, confused.

“Not welcome at home. I too smart. Annoy others. The big dogs kick me. Stay angry. Say I talk funny. Act funny. Not like other dogs. Got thrown out of pack.” Fleagle looked incredibly sad for a moment. “So I leave. See world. A griffon taught me how to read and write. Raised me from puppy. Good griffon. I leave home. Come here. Find paradise! Good garbage to eat. Free food.”

“I’m sorry.” Screwloose said.

“For what?” Fleagle replied.

“For what happened.” Screwloose explained.

“I not sorry.” Fleagle said. “Happy now. Also confused. Thought maybe I found another dog in papers. Was hoping to live in open.”

Screwloose nodded, unable to think of anything else to do.

“What do I call you?” Fleagle asked.

“Oh, I am sorry… I am Screwloose.” Screwloose said, flushing with embarrassment. “I am a little distracted. None of this is what I was expecting. I am a bit confused and lost.”

Fleagle nodded. “Me too.”

Screwloose studied the diamond dog in front of her. He wasn’t that large, not too much larger than her. He had a sad looking wrinkly face. Long drooping ears. A wrinkled brow. Hazel gold eyes. He did in fact, look very much like a beagle. He was also handsome she realised, feeling a sense of shock settle in. Her breath caught in her throat.

“This is very awkward.” Screwloose said.

“Tell me about it.” Fleagle replied. “All this time together and we not sniffed butts yet.”

“Oh!” Screwloose said, gasping. “Butts! Of course, how silly of me…” She said nervously.

“Ponies don’t sniff butts. They backwards.” Fleagle said. “But you nice for trying to make me feel good.”

Screwloose swished her tail, thinking about her sweaty dock. Butt sniffing! She had trouble taking it in. This night was turning out weird. She was seriously contemplating allowing a stranger to sniff her backside.

“You want to sniff my plot?” Screwloose said, blushing. “I mean, it is just saying hello, right? Nothing else?”

Fleagle nodded. “Just hi. Nothing else. We maybe do something else later. Like drag racing!”

“Alright then.” Screwloose said hesitantly, turning around and presenting herself, in her long life of insanity, somehow, this felt like the most rational thing she had ever done. It felt so natural that it scared her. It settled into the core of her being and filled an empty hole, leaving her feeling lost and confused, baffled, wondering what was different.

She froze completely when she felt a sniff back there. Her ears stopped twitching, her eye no longer ticked, her breath froze completely in her throat. She felt a series of sniffs back there, near a very delicate plate, a very intimate place, and she briefly wondered what in Tartarus she was doing allowing a stranger to sniff her most delicate and intimate places. Fleagle’s breath was warm, his sniffings picking up in pace, and she felt a tickle as Fleagle’s hot breath traveled over her loins.

She couldn’t help it, she giggled. And it wasn’t her usual nervous giggle, at least not entirely. There was a brief sensation of joy and pleasure.

After several moments, the sniffing stopped.

“You eat good.” Fleagle commented. “Smell nice. Real nice. Fleagle likes what he is sniffing.”

Screwloose felt a blush come boiling out of her barrel, up her neck, and settling into her cheeks. Another giggle escaped, followed by a nervous snort. She turned around to face Fleagle.

Who was not facing her. He was down on all fours, tail raised, presenting. Screwloose gasped. She supposed fair was fair. He appeared to be rather clean back there, all things considered. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She stepped forward and sniffed. A few cautious sniffs, trying to break the ice to speak, and then a few more sniffs, allowing her nose to rise and fall, sniffing different areas. There was an odd scent. It excited her. Her frogs once again felt sweaty. The odd scent sort of reminded her of black licorice.

“You like?” Fleagle asked, his tone worried.

Screwloose took a step back and opened her eyes. She saw Fleagle’s tail wagging. And other things as well, swaying and bobbing from the force of the wagging tail. Her blush intensified. “Yeah.” She replied in a low whisper.

Screwloose giggled again.

Fleagle turned to face her. “You not like other ponies.”

“I know. And it causes me nothing but trouble.” Screwloose replied. Her stomach rumbled loudly, causing Fleagle’s ears to perk.

“You want food?” Fleagle asked, his droopy face looking concerned.

“Oh, I dunno.” Screwloose said nervously.

“Wait here. I be back. Oh please be here when I get back.” Fleagle said as he turned tail and charged off into the bushes.

Screwloose did the only sane thing she could think of. She waited there, sitting in the clearing in the middle of some bushes. She also scratched behind her ear with a hindhoof, getting rid of a nervous itch. Her heart fluttered in her barrel. She briefly wondered if she needed her medication adjusted.

It didn’t take long for Fleagle to return. He had several loaves of bread, a wedge of cheese, a carton of berries, and several bruised looking apples carried in his forelegs as he walked in a bipedal fashion.

“I had to scrape mold off cheese. Still good under mold.” Fleagle said, smiling.

“You found all of this in the garbage?” Screwloose inquired.

“You silly ponies throw away good food. I eat like chief.” Fleagle said, grinning. He carefully laid his bounty out upon the ground. “Bread stale. Chewy! Nice to chew on.”

The tiny part of Screwloose’s mind that was the voice of her sanity found it self thumped on the back of its tiny little head by other parts of her mind. She tore into the feast as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

The two ate in silence, gnawing on bread, chewing on cheese, gobbling berries, and eating apples. The strawberries were slightly overripe, causing them to be soft and extra juicy, causing a huge mess.

It did not take long to consume the food, and when finished, both of them sat back and licked their chops in an oddly similar fashion.

“So…” said Fleagle, looking hopeful, “we go drag racing now?”

Author's Note:

I think I got a sweaty frog from writing that.

Awkward interspecies romance ho!

Comments

[Kitty Art]

I loved that story sooooo much! Very clever idea!

[Texus]

At first i don´t know about the diamond dog, because i don´t really like them but he seems to be nice enough.
The progress Screwloose make is really interessting and i enjoyed reading it.

[HuskyBits]

I love diamond dogs.

[Lost_Marbles]

Both Fleagle and Screwloose are such sweeties. Sure, Fleagle sniffs butts and eats out of the garbage, but he is happy and content with his life and he seems like a great dog without anything sinister planned. I wonder if he will try to integrate with pony society later.

[Jadelynn_Opal]

Barked like a madpony when they first met her? Doesn't feel comfortable in her own skin? Scratches her ears with her hindlegs? Feels like diamond dog behaviors are the most natural to her? Isn't sexually attracted to ponies? I think I see where this is headed. Now the only question is what the journey's like.

[Fluid Apple]

I was actually crying and clapping for a second there. I don't know how you did it but I'm already in love with this fic