• Published 6th Apr 2014
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And They Call It Puppy Love - kudzuhaiku



Screwloose has been seeing a therapist. She's getting better. The therapist suggests that she tries dating. She does.

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Chapter 12

Mint Jewelup looked down at Screwloose on the bathroom floor. She was currently not responsive, and she had been slipping in and out. It had been a struggle to get the straightjacket removed. She gently stroked her friend’s side, her hoof lightly caressing the flesh over the ribs, feeling the rise and fall of her friend’s barrel.

“Fleagle, as embarrassing as this might be, I need to you lift her leg and spread her, so I can get her cleaned up back there.” Mint said, her voice gentle but commanding.

Fleagle did as he was bid, carefully lifting Screwloose’s hind leg. Mint went to work with a sponge, wringing it out several times in the tub, gently pressing in and trying to scrub away the filth.

“What done to her?” Fleagle said in low whine.

“I don’t know.” Mint Jewelup replied. “I think they zapped her. She’s also drugged. The drugs will wear off though.”

Fleagle nodded, still holding Screwloose’s leg, looking away, unable to watch what was being done, his paws trembling and his ears twitching.

“Love is difficult sometimes.” Mint said, her voice strained, a barely restrained sob present. “And love is tough. It can be hard work. And it can rip your heart apart. I still choose to love.” She said, gently scrubbing with a sponge. Tears trickled from her eyes, spotting and staining Screwloose’s pelt. She began pulling the hairs of Screwloose’s tail apart, trying to free them from caked filth.

Fleagle let out a long low whine… A uniquely canine sound of sorrow.

“Love will see us through Fleagle. Hold on.” Mint whispered.

“Why this happen?” Fleagle whined. “Why?”

“I wish I knew Fleagle.” Mint said.

“Because Fleagle?” Fleagle said, squeezing his eyes shut.

“No Fleagle! And you must never say that again, do you hear me? This isn’t your fault. There are some very misguided ponies out there that do bad things. You cannot control that.” Mint said, her tone gentle and careful, her eyes focused on Fleagle while she spoke.

There was a loud knocking from downstairs.

“Oh horseapples. Mint, how can you be so stupid!” Mint spat. She facehoofed. “Of course they’re going to come looking for her here.”

She heard a thump downstairs as the door was forced open. She heard shouting. Mint heard a loud crash and the tinkling of glass. There was more angry shouting. Mint cringed, hearing the unmistakable sound of violence downstairs. There was a loud angry bellow followed by a static crackle.

That would be Thunderlane getting worked up and releasing the static discharge from his wings. Ozone permeated the air of the house.

There were thumps coming up the stairs. Mint Jewelup’s horn glowed. She wasn’t sure if she could hurt anypony. She looked around the bathroom, looking for objects to throw. She placed her body over Screwloose.

Fleagle had his teeth bared and his hackles were up. His claws flexed. He looked about as aggressive and terrible as his beagle ancestry allowed him to be. Which is to say, not much at all. He looked more scared than anything else.

The bathroom door was flung open. Thunderlane stood in the door. “We’re leaving!” He announced, his voice almost ringing off of the tiles. “Parasol is downstairs, so are Flitter and Cloudchaser. My family has a cabin way out in the middle of the Whitetail woods. Don’t ask why pegasi have a cabin way out in the middle of the woods on the ground. Parasol and I will carry Screwloose again, Flitter and Cloudchaser will carry you two. Now MOVE! We’re going!” Thunderlane was out of patience. “And Mint, close your eyes before going down the stairs. Nopony died, but there is a mess. And you’ll be wanting to patch them up and make them better.”

The ponies began to prepare for their escape, Mint taking time to grab a few supplies while Thunderlane snorted impatiently. Mint made a sling from a bedsheet, allowing Screwloose to be slung between Thunderlane and Parasol in flight. The ponies, now fugitives, fled into the night, leaving behind them a wrecked home with several bodies, all of which had legs bent at odd angles unnatural to the pony form.


“Flitter, Cloudchaser, you should get out of here. Before you become more tangled up in this than you already are.” Thunderlane said, standing in the middle of the front room of the cabin.

“Are you sure? We don’t mind staying.” Flitter said.

“I kicked a stallion in the nuts so hard that I think he choked on them.” Cloudchaser said.

“We were seen.” Flitter added.

Thunderlane spat and swore, his wings flapping in frustration. He banged his head against the doorframe with a loud thump, causing objects in the room to rattle. “Horseapples and buggery!” Thunderlane swore.

“Practical concerns.” Parasol said, butting in. “What are we going to eat and drink? How are we going to get by out here?”

Thunderlane seemed to calm, thinking. “There is hoof-powered pump off to the side. There should be a lot of canned food in jars still, and food in tins. There is a bathtub, but it has to be filled by bucket, and the water has to be heated over a wood burning stove if you want it hot. We could hole up out here for a while if we had to, maybe with one of us sneaking off to town and getting the occasional fresh bit of supplies.” He looked thoughtful. “And there is a four hole outhouse out in the back in case anypony is feeling particularly friendly and wants some company.”

Parasol nodded. “Now, Thunderlane, what we should we do with Flitter and Cloudchaser?”

“We keep them here.” Thunderlane said, now calm and thoughtful.

“Hey, that’s a neat trick Parasol.” Mint said. “I’m going to need plenty of hot water. Screwloose is still a mess. After I get her cleaned up, we should get her to bed.”

“There are four beds.” Thunderlane said, still being informative. “All doubles.”

“And seven ponies, oh my.” Mint said.

“And there are two couches here in this room, but they are terrible to sleep on, trust me, I know from my high school party days.” Thunderlane said. “Nopony should be made to sleep on those couches. He looked at Screwloose, still sprawled on the floor. She was twitching slightly, her eyes rolling around wildly behind her lids. “Damnit Mint, what did they do to her? She’s been shaved just below her ears.”

“I think they zapped her.” Mint said in a low pained whisper.

“Bastards.” Thunderlane swore. “Why? Why would somepony do this? Those dirty motherpluckers.”

Flitter and Cloudchaser gasped together, hearing Thunderlane.

“From my own experience, I strongly suspect they were just trying to help. They wanted to fix what was wrong with her.” Mint said slowly and carefully.

“Not a damn thing is wrong with her!” Thunderlane said, his voice nearly at a shout. “Gah! I’m going outside to start bringing in some water for the storage basin.”

“I’m having an odd night.” Cloudchaser said. “I kicked a stallion’s balls into his throat, I aided fugitives, I am probably a wanted criminal now my self, I am helping my stallion fiend help one of his mare friends, and I am really pissed off about how somepony treated a pony who is mostly a stranger to me.” She paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. “Yeah, that about covers it all. One really screwed up night. I haven’t even been drinking.”

Flitter hugged her sister.

“I think it has been a rough night for all of us.” Parasol said, looking at Fleagle who was sitting on the floor, close to Screwloose, stroking her side. “You alright Fleagle?”

“No.” Fleagle admitted, saying nothing else. Parasol crossed the room and placed a leg around Fleagle, hugging him. “I don’t know how, but it will be okay.”

Mint nodded. “We had better get comfy with one another and settle in.”


Mint lay in bed, in the dark, spooning against Parasol, the feeling of Parasol’s back warm against her belly. Parasol’s ear flickered at Mint breathed on it. Not too far away in the other bed in the room, Screwloose lay comatose with Fleagle curled up beside her. He cried occasionally in his sleep, yelping and whimpering, sometimes growling.

Mint sighed, still awake. It would be dawn soon. Parasol was sound asleep.

Cleaning up Screwloose had taken some work. The hospital had done nothing to clean her up after whatever it was they had done to her. Her skin was raw and red, chapped, and would require a lot of attention and care.

Sometimes, Mint supposed, love had to be tested. Through pain, through suffering, through tribulation, and sometimes embarrassment. She would probably tease Screwloose about it at some point, far off in the future, but for now, it was still too fresh and raw in her own mind, knowing all of the intimate details of her close friend. She hoped that she could tease Screwloose in the far off future. Mint had no clear idea just how much trouble she might be in. She snuggled closer to Parasol, needing her warmth. She wasn’t cold, but she was scared. Terrified. There was no telling what might happen.

She lay there for what felt like days, finally seeing a hint of orange through the window. Thunderlane would keep watch until dawn, at which point Flitter and Cloudchaser would stand watch. They weren’t taking any chances. She breathed deep, taking in Parasol’s scent. She was still sweaty from earlier this night. It was comforting.

Mint Jewelup finally dozed.


She awoke several hours later to sputtering. Her eyes flew open. She saw Screwloose propped up in the bed on a couple of rolled up blankets and pillows, and Parasol was carefully trying to give her some water.

“Screwy, love, say something.” Mint said groggily as she struggled to sit up.

Screwloose mumbled incoherently.

“That’s close enough love.” Mint said, now sitting, kicking her hind legs out over the edge of the bed. Mint took the water glass in her magic. “She needs a straw. She’s always had trouble because of her facial tics.”

“There are no straws, I looked.” Parasol said, frowning.

Fleagle squirmed, still on the bed with Screwloose. He snatched up a blanket, twisting the corner, and dipped it into the water glass. He then jammed the end into Screwloose’s mouth.

There was a suckling sound as she slurpled water from the blanket corner. Screwloose’s ears flickered. Fleagle looked at her hopefully, gently pulling the blanket out, and then dipped it into the water glass again, saturating it, and then jammed it back into Screwloose’s mouth.

Blanket water was better than no water.

Mint stumbled through the room over to Screwloose. Not bothering to say anything, she pulled Screwloose’s legs apart and gave her quick once over, checking on her friend’s chafed filly bits.

Screwloose mumbled, dribbling water from her lip, lifting and waving her front hooves.

“Sorry Screwy, but you are a mess down there.” Mint said, her face flushed.

“She can’t seem to talk.” Parasol said, worried.

“She’s still probably very medicated and groggy from whatever happened.” Mint said, a hint of worry in her voice. “Screwloose honey, you’d better come around. We went through a lot of trouble to spring you.”

“We should feed her. Anything I should look for?” Parasol asked.

“She likes pears. See if there any in a jar or a tin. And grab a spoon.” Mint said.

Parasol fled the room, off to find pears.

Fleagle was still dipping the blanket in the glass, which was now nearly empty and still held in Mint’s magic. Mint set the glass down on a crate that served as a bedside table after one last dip. She crawled up on the bed and pressed her nose against Screwloose.

“She feels a bit feverish and clammy.” Mint commented. Mint placed her head on Screwloose’s barrel, listening. “Heart sounds good.”

Screwloose’s legs wrapped feebly around Mint’s neck, pulling her body close. Mint fell forward onto her friend. “I’m here girl, we have you.” Mint said, her head still on Screwloose’s barrel. Screwloose began to babble incoherently, a wordless stream of noise coming forth, her lips flapping and spitting.

Screwloose struggled, a look of immense concentration etched on her face.

“Still remember.” She croaked, the words difficult to make out.

“What Screwloose mean?” Fleagle asked.

“I have no clue.” Mint replied. “When she gets a little better, I suppose we will find out.”

Author's Note:

Okay, everypony can breathe again. The absolute worst is mostly over.

Story is almost over as well.

Tell me what you think if you have a mind to do so. Thanks!