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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So,They quite literally could get away with being called the 'Devil Dogs Private Military Corperation' and not be lying at all.
4229411 Well if I can get an editor I'll definitely do that.
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4189488
you know it's against the rules to rp in story comments right
unfortunately LoHAV stories aren't against the rules though
not yet anyway
but soon
;D
This isn't bad, but it could really use some work. Still having, but not up voting. Sorry.
4253494 May I just request a bit of clarification on what you mean by it could use some work?
4253500 Basically, the whole thing seems a bit rushed is all. The comedy is great (I personally loved the wrong movie at the beginning of the second chapter, and Nocturne's first deed magically giving Luna the big O), and you've certainly made the protagonist likable, but it just really seems things are going a bit fast is all.
4253681 Well, yeah there's actually a point to that. It'll be explained later as the characters have a bit more time to converse. (Also if you've played disgaea then you know that you can get characters to the unholy OP level of 9,999 and make them near gods in a fight.)
4254886 Yeah, I've heard that you not only can level your own character to 9,999 but each individual weapon as well. Insane. So you're saying that things will improve later and will have plenty of time to improve over the chapters? I can roll with that.
4255084 That is exactly what I'm saying sir/madam. As you may have noticed I've been doing my damnedest to increase the quality of each chapter even though I'm working without an editor. (The reason why escapes me though there was one.)