• Published 28th Mar 2014
  • 366 Views, 9 Comments

Short-Circuit - WiseGaurdian



Don't know how burning electronics can clone you, nor how that clone can end up in Equestria. Definately don't know how my soul jumped to the clone either. But it happened.

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Grounding

That form was interesting, but rather long. The first thing on it was the usual 'Print your name, DOB, and date of treatment.', followed closely by the what race are you box, although instead of human skin tones they had actual different species. The list was as follows:

Pony(Earth)

Pony(Pegasus)

Pony(Unicorn)

Saddle Arabian

Zebra

Deer

Antelope

Minotaur

Gryphon

Cow

Buffalo

Diamond Dog

Other:_________________

I checked other and filled the line with Human. After that the form had questions about things like medical history, and if I had any prescriptions I was currently on. Did I smoke and things like that. I just checked No on all of those. Then there was a huge block of text that basically translated into, 'you sign this you can not sue us'. Of course I signed that line, I mean I was in better health than I ever had been previously. Then there was another block of text explaining what I had been diagnosed with. Basically a long winded explanation of what a coma is and how to deal with waking up. I ignored the majority of it and just signed the line stating I knew what a coma was and all that jazz. Then there were a few more lines of long winded legal text and another three lines for me to sign.

After I finished filling out the form I handed it to nurse RedHeart who, seemed surprised I was done already. I don't know why it took me a solid five minutes before I got through it all. Anyhow, after a quick glance at the form, RedHeart looked to me and said, "Well that, was quick. But everything seems to be in order. Follow me."

I just shrugged in response and followed her out the door. But as I approached closer to her I noticed something was off with the height calculations I made earlier, as RedHeart was about the same size as Twilight, but RedHeart only came up to the middle of my chest in height, and last time I checked I was only five foot eleven. So with new found curiosity I asked, "RedHeart, I don't mean to be rude, but what is your height?"

"Five foot even, why?" RedHeart returned with her head tilted in curiosity.

I smiled and replied, "Well it would seem I've had a bit of a growth-spurt, because I was only five foot eleven."

"Is it normal for humans to gain height that rapidly?" RedHeart questioned.

I chuckled, before saying, "Not really, but neither is being cloned and dropped into that new body. I'm guessing this is just what I would be like had I actually taken perfect care of myself, that or this new body of mine soaked up the magic in this world like a sponge."

"Yes, well, we have a few minor tests you have to go through before final release, but it shouldn't take too long." RedHeart said looking like she was just fed something rather unpleasant.

I frowned, I wasn't sure what it was, but I knew I had upset her, so I asked, "Did I say something to concern you? Or to make you angry? I really hope it isn't the latter, you know, don't bite the hand that feeds, or in this case, the hoof that heals."

"Well ,no, you didn't make me angry. But, you have to admit that having an irregular growth-spurt like that." RedHeart said, still with a scowl on her face.

I shrugged, since I didn't have an answer I changed the subject with, "So these tests. What are they, just basic vision and hearing tests, along with weight and height measurements, or what?"

"Those and a basic magic level test." RedHeart replied, looking a bit miffed at me having changed subjects.

I was a bit confused at that one so I asked, "What does this 'magic level' test include?"

"Why, nothing much. Just being hooked up to the test equipment and turning it on. We can even start with it." RedHeart said as she opened a door, still with a tinge of annoyance in her voice.

The room was just a cube each wall was twenty five feet long, and on the center of one of them was an eye-chart. Next to the door was a basic slide scale, opposite the scale, the wall was marked for measurement. On on side of the room there was a table that had headphones and a box on it, on the other side of the room from that table was a machine that had the approximate size and shape of a jukebox but instead of a clear area showing records was a large dial witch read from zero to a hundred, it also had a single coiled wire going from it to a cone sitting on a counter with drawers. I stared at the machine for a few moments before saying, "So that's the machine."

"Yes, you want to start with it?" RedHeart asked with a smile appearing on the corners of her mouth.

She seemed to excited so instead of just blindly accepting I said, "No, lets save the best for last. Lets do it in the order of height, weight, sight, hearing, and then magic."

"Okay." RedHeart said in an almost defeated tone.

I walked up to the marked section of wall and stood beside it. RedHeart called out my height, I was was seven foot even. After that we went to the scale, where I got a huge surprise, I only weighed 50 pounds. I turned to RedHeart to see she had the same look of surprise on her face as I did, so I asked, "How is that possible?"

"Well, pegasi can control their mass, normally their relaxed mass is one fifth of what it would be if they were an earth pony or a unicorn of the same size. Can humans do that?" RedHeart explained.

Now curious I asked, "No, not normally, but I am breaking alot of human standards today. So how do the pegasi normally control their mass?"

"They focus on their mass and will it to be more or less, they also go to a fifth of their relaxed weight when in an unexpected fall." RedHeart returned, still a bit fazed by the hole weight thing.

I shrugged and decided it was worth a shot. So I closed my eyes and started to focus on my center of mass. Then I imagined it growing. I kept that focus until I heard the click of the scale as the slide arm fell, but as soon as I opened my eyes it went back to being level. However I knew I did it and I smiled and said, "My magic theory may just be correct."

"Possibly." RedHeart said, amazed at what she saw.

After we did the weight measurement we went to the eye test, which found I had 20/20 vision. Then we did the hearing test, which I passed again, with flying colors. Then we went on to the magic test, and nurse RedHeart had a grin on her face that would make the cheshire cat look like he was scowling. It made me rather nervous so I turned to her and asked, "This isn't going to hurt, now is it?"

"Oh, most certainly not, I just like watching this particular test." RedHeart said, still grinning as she replaced the cone with a basic electrode. After she finished that, she placed the electrode on the center of my forehead. Then she walked up to a switch on the wall and flipped it.

At that moment I saw a red aura pour over the wire coiling towards the machine. A glow of the same color went around the edges of my vision at that same moment, giving me a sense that my eyes were glowing red. Then I glanced up as movement caught my eye and I saw what looked like four dimensional shadows at the top of my vision. They ranged through the entire color spectrum. After seeing those objects my vision turned to the magic tester, the dial was slowly going up from zero. Thirty seconds later it stopped at 50 but it only stayed there for a second before it shot straight to 100 and the machine started making a whirring noise akin to a jet. It was when smoke started pouring out of the machine that I said, "Fuck! get down! NOW!" as I pushed RedHeart to the ground. At the same moment I pushed the white four dimensional matter into a dome around us telling it to catch anything coming towards us. Then while I was crouched on the ground I heard a huge explosion.

Time froze in that instant. I felt my magic grab onto the metal and glass shrapnel that flew towards us. I heard RedHeart start crying as the fire alarms started blaring. I smelt the smoke as it poured into the air. I saw the fire billowing out of the remnants of the machine. Then I blinked. That was all it took to reset my mind, and I turned to the still crying nurse RedHeart and shouted over the alarms, "WE'RE FINE! GO OUTSIDE AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND SOME HELP AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS OKAY! I'M GOING TO SEE IF I CAN SMOTHER THE FLAMES!"

"OKAY!" RedHeart shouted as she left the room.

Once she was gone I dropped the shrapnel and focused my magic on the smoke, gathering as much of it as possible. With a ball of smoke the size of a basketball I approached the flaming hulk of the machine. I pushed the smoke over the top of it catching any smoke the fire was producing keeping it close to the fire until I could no longer feel heat radiating from the skeleton of the machine. Then I brought the ball of smoke up and away from the machine to see that in fact the fire was truly out. I was bringing it over my shoulder when I heard hoof steps coming into the room.

"WHERE'S THE FIRE?" I heard a male voice shout out.

I turned to see a blue unicorn holding a hose in a blue aura, who flinched when I faced him. I just blinked and returned, "I TOOK CARE OF IT ALREADY. NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE SMOKE THOUGH!"

"FOLLOW ME" The unicorn firefighter shouted.


***************************************************************************


It was only two minutes before I was out of the hospital and could release the smoke. After another ten minutes RedHeart had finished checking me for signs of smoke inhalation, and said I was fine. Then I spent twenty minutes talking with the firefighters about what happened. Another half hour was spent talking to the press, apparently tomorrow's headline was going to be 'Alien Saves Hospital from Fire'. Looked like I made a good impression on the town.

After all the excitement at the hospital Twilight and I were walking to the Apple family farm. Things remained quite for quite awhile but Twilight eventually broke the silence by shouting, "So you aren't going to say anything about it!?"

I laughed, I was wondering how long it was going to be before she brought it up. I replied with, "What? The whole, I have enough magical power to catastrophically overload a magic level tester?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and shot back, "Yes, that!"

I laughed again, and simply responded, "Well I'm beginning to think my original statement about how magic doesn't exist in my world is false."

Twilight stopped in her tracks, dropping on her haunches, her eyes growing as large as dinner plates. Then she shook her head and simply asked, "How?"

I stopped and looked to her and said, "Well, it's do to the way it felt. It was how electricity feels as it goes through one's body. That and I think the magic level tester works like an ammeter on Earth. Basically measuring the force behind the magic. Am I right?"

Twilight nodded, "Yes, yes it is."

I smiled, and continued, "Well not only that, but the four dimensional objects, what ever they're called, could explain some of the strange math behind electricity. That and it is a force every living thing on Earth uses it, hell, needs it to live. I'm sure the same thing goes for everything on this planet and magic."

Twilight nodded once again, "Yeah."

I smiled once again and said, "So, with that out of the way can we continue to Applejack's?"

Twilight got up on all fours again and said, "Yeah."

We were about to get moving again when I heard flapping wings from behind me, shortly followed by a blur of cyan flashing across my peripheral vision. Then hovering in front of me was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, staring at me with a confused expression on her face. I just smiled, waved, and said, "Hello!"

"Um, hi..." Rainbow Dash spoke, then turning to Twilight, "What is that thing?"

I cleared my throat, a little annoyed at the antics, but I kept my smile and said, " Well I'm a human, and my name is Ray Hardy. It's a pleasure to meet you..."

"Rainbow Dash! Fastest flyer in Equestria." Rainbow, finished.

I smiled a bit wider at the grin on Rainbow's face, and said, "Sounds like something fun to see. So what brings you out this way?"

"It is something fun to see. ITS FREAKING AWESOME!" Rainbow Cheered, then continued, "I was heading out to my friend Applejack's farm to hang out. Where you headed?"

I smiled again, and replied, "Well I'm headed to the same place to see about getting a job."

"So you go'n for the farmhoof position, huh? What if you don't get it? I mean you don't have hooves." Rainbow asked.

I shrugged and returned, "Well in that case I'll take the firefighters up on their job offer."

"Why'd the firefighters offer you a job?" Rainbow asked, tilting her head like a dog.

Twilight chimed in with, "Because he saved the hospital from a fire after the magic level tester blew up while nurse RedHeart was testing his magical strength."

"You blew it up too!?" Rainbow exclaimed, staring right at me.

I just asked, "I'm not the first?"

"Nope dude, Twilight beat you to it. Although when she blew it up, it didn't burst into flames." Rainbow returned.

I stared blankly for a few moments before I said, "Oh."

Twilight blushed slightly and said, "Yeah..."

"So what you guys waiting for, lets get to the farm." Rainbow, said as she took off.

Twilight and I just shrugged and went off after her.


************************************************************

It was about ten minutes later when we got to the farm. I kept even with Dash for the journey while Twilight was a few minutes behind us. Twilight was gasping for breath, and sweating like she was in a sauna. Dash had a few beads of sweat but, otherwise was fine. And for some reason I didn't even have sweat on my brow.

"Dang Ray, not even a drop of sweat and you kept up with me?" Dash said as she glanced at me.

I shrugged and said, "Just a good day I suppose."

Twilight just stared at us and said, "Well ... *gasp* ... I don't ... *huff* ... see how ... *wheeze*... you two ... *cough* ... aren't ... *pant* ... dieing!"

I stifled a laugh and said, "It might have helped if you had flown instead of running, I mean using two limbs instead of four would have to use less energy."

"That or you should go outside more instead of staying inside reading all day." Dash snarked, gaining a glare from Twilight and I.

Before either of us could yell at Dash however we were interrupted by dog barking soon followed by, "Winona, what in tarnation's gotten in tah ya!?"

We were soon greeted by a barking brown and white border collie wearing a red collar with a gold name tag, and an orange blonde maned earth pony wearing a stetson. The pony said, "Oh, howdy Y'all. Now if you don't mind my asking what's that thing?" while pointing a hoof at me.

"His name's Ray, and hes totally awesome, he kept up with me and didn't even break a sweat!" Dash exclaimed.

Blushing at the complement I waved, and said, "Yeah, and I'm here to see if I can get a job."

Applejack just looked me over a couple of times before saying, "So ya want tha job huh?"

I nodded, "Yes I do."

AJ, then asked, "So how much experience ya have at work'n on a farm?"

I sighed and replied, "To be honest, pretty much zero."

AJ, raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Pretty much zero, or zero."

I returned, "Depends, how much you think helping my aunt and uncle on their ranch for a week when I was five counts for?"

AJ responded with, "Pretty much zero, but not exactly zero. So why ya want tha job."

I replied with, "Simply was the first job offer, and I need money If I'm going to live a life here."

AJ asked, "Any other job offers?"

I smiled and replied, "Yeah, one, from the fire department, and even though I have a tinge more recent experience with that. I doubt I'd appreciate that job as much. Sure if it's the last job available I'd take it, but it's just not my kinda thing."

AJ then asked, "Ya think ya could buck apples?"

I nodded, "I think I could."

AJ then led me to a row of trees that had a hundred either side, with buckets underneath them all and said, "Prove it. Buck enough of 'em clean and ya get tha job."

AJ, Twilight, and Dash all watched as I approached my first tree. Took a couple of paces back and then I kicked it. The apples fell into the buckets, and I smiled, but the smile was because I noticed how springy the tree was, and it gave me a brilliant idea. I ran to the next tree and jumped landing a kick in the center of it, I heard the apples falling into the buckets as I spun to meet the next tree. It continued like that until I had hit all the trees. I had cleared all 200 in about two minutes, not touching the ground once in between. When I landed I walked up to Applejack and asked, "So do I get the job?"

AJ replied, "Eeeyup." She paused to pick her jaw up of the ground before saying, "Let's get these apples in tha barn, an we'll talk 'bout your pay."

So I extended my magic to the 600 buckets and lifted them up hovering them behind me and said, "Lead the way boss."

AJ blinked twice before she headed towards the barn, and said "Okay, 'fore we talk wages, let me tell ya one thing, we can only afford ya once a week for one row."

I nodded and said, "Makes, since I was only expecting to get about twenty trees done by the end of the day. Before I found my trick of course."

AJ returned, "Yeah Ah, was too."

It wasn't that long till we were at the barn. I floated the buckets in when she opened the doors and set them down where she pointed. As soon as they were down I asked, "So how much will I be getting?"

AJ asked, "Does five bits a bucket sound fair?"

I was a bit shocked, that came out to 3000 bits for two minutes of work, so I replied, "It sounds more than fair for me, but it feels a little unfair for you. How much you plan on making per bucket?"

AJ responded with, "Oh no it ain't unfair for me, Ah plan on making about fifty bits a bucket."

I shrugged, and returned, "Well so long as you aren't losing money on the deal, I think I like the pay."

AJ smiled and said, "Then ya got yer' self a job, see ya next Tuesday at seven in the morning. Let me go get ya, yer' pay for the day."

And with that I had my job.