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Chapter 1: In Which Our Hero Has Regrets and Meets His Employer3,746 words
Chapter 2: In Which Our Hero Settles In and Sees Another Side of the Prince5,265 words
Chapter 3: In Which Our Hero Hears a Story and Tells a Story, Both of Cutie Marks3,278 words
Chapter 4: In Which Our Hero Witnesses the Effects of Alcohol and Hatches a Plan2,971 words
Chapter 5: In Which Our Hero Explains His Plan and Puts it into Action4,788 words
Chapter 6: In Which Our Hero Meets the Family, the Town, and The Dispute4,469 words
Chapter 7: In Which Our Hero's Plan Begins to Bear Fruit3,593 words
Chapter 8: In Which Our Hero Engages in Espionage4,131 words

Chapter 5: In Which Our Hero Explains His Plan and Puts it into Action

Chapter 5: In Which Our Hero Explains His Plan and Puts it into Action

I shuffle nervously outside the massive doors to the throne room. This seemed like a much better idea last night, when I had some strong alcohol in my system. Now, the idea of walking up to a nearly all-powerful monarch and telling her you want to socialize her nephew is sounding worse and worse by the minute. The two guards standing stoically in front of the doors aren't helping; I know that they've just got their 'guard faces' on, but it feels like they're judging me.

I take a deep breath and glance back at my saddlebags, then at the grandfather clock down the hall. I should have everything I need to convince the Princess, and given how much he had to drink last night, I'd be surprised if Blueblood saw the sun at all today, at least before noon.

I fidget. What's taking them so long? I must have been standing here for at least an hour. I glance at the clock again to see that it's only been 5 minutes.

“Calm down, will ya?” I jerk in surprise, before turning to the guard who spoke. He glances at me from under his helmet, before returning his gaze to the wall in front of him. “Land's sake, you're making me nervous.”

I sigh. “Sorry. Just nervous.”

“Don't be.” He smirks. “You'll be fine.”

At that moment, the double doors open a crack and a servant pokes his head through. “Next.”

I take a deep breath, nod to the servant, and stride through. The throne room looks like every picture I've ever seen. Light streams in through the many stained-glass windows, casting multi-colored pools of light over the pink carpet leading to the ornate golden throne. The top of the throne stretches all the way to the roof, where it spreads outward into an upside-down golden cone, inlaid with murals of the sun, sky and stars and hung with purple tapestries.

I walk up the pathway, careful to keep my steps even. Princess Celestia sits patiently on the throne, waiting for me with a calm, benevolent smile that succeeds in calming my nerves a little. Her regalia is polished until it glows, and I have to resist the urge to squint against the reflected sunlight as I step up onto the platform in front of the throne. The Princess leans towards me, her smile widening slightly.

“Good morning, my little pony. What can I do for you?”

I bow, taking the chance to take another deep breath to compose myself. “It is an honor to meet you, Princess. My name is Ink Blot.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Ink Blot.” Her voice is soft, soothing, and motherly. “You recently started working at the castle, correct? I knew your name was familiar.”

“That's right, Princess. It was just a few weeks ago.”

“I thought so. I hope you've been settling in well. Now, how can I help you?”

I lick my lips. “Er, well, you see, Princess, it's not so much about me, as it is about your nephew, Prince Blueblood.”

Her eyes narrow, and she sighs. “What has he done now?”

My eyes widen, and I resist the urge to wave my hooves. It suddenly occurs to me that ponies who have had the misfortune to encounter Badblood probably come to the Princess all the time. I should have thought of that earlier. “Oh no, it's nothing he's done! It's something he hasn't done, actually.”

Her eyes narrow even further. “You have been receiving your pay, haven't you? I didn't think the Prince was in charge of that.”

I shake my head. “No, it's not that either.”

She sits back and gives me another smile. “I'm sorry for presuming. Why don't you explain?”

I nod. “I'm not sure if you know this, but the Prince doesn't have any friends, and from the sound of things, this situation isn't going to change in the near future.”

She sighs again. “I am aware. I have tried to speak to the Prince about the issue, but his behavior has yet to change. He remains as isolated and shut-in as he was.”

“I think the Prince is the victim of his own success. He's so convinced that other ponies will only believe his public persona that he doesn't even bother trying to get to know them. Last night, we were talking, and I had an idea. I think I have a way to change this.”

The Princess raises an eyebrow. “I'm eager to hear it. If it will help my nephew experience the magic of friendship, then I am all ears.”

I reach into my saddlebags and pull out an envelope. “This. It's a letter from a pony named Legal Speak, who says he's the mayor of a town called Saddlefield. It seems they're having a property dispute, and he was hoping for Blueblood's advice – or rather, Scales' advice – on the matter. I did a little research – Saddlefield is about as small town as it gets. Not poor, but it's not rich either, and it's a pretty long way from Canterlot. I figure if there's any town where nopony has heard of the Prince, this is it.”

Celestia leans towards me. “What do you propose?”

“I propose Scales handles this case, except this time, he does so in the flesh. This'll give Blueblood a chance to get out of the castle and interact with some ponies who have never heard of him. He'd probably enjoy a few weeks away from Canterlot, and I think that he could easily make friends if he could get away from his... reputation.”

“Do you really think that he will take this opportunity to make friends?”

I nod. “I do. He's actually a pretty nice pony when he's not putting on his bad face, and I think he could make friends easily. He's just... crushed under the weight of his reputation and doesn't think that he can get past it. I think that a change of scenery would be just what he needs to put that behind him.”

“It seems you've given this a lot of thought. Tell me, why are you so eager to help my nephew? There aren't many ponies that would go out of their way for him.”

“Well...” I shuffle awkwardly in place. “I've given it some thought, and... Even if Blueblood doesn't think he has many friends, he's at least got one. Me. And I want to help him out.”

Celestia smiles at me. “I can think of no better reason to do this than that. Go, do whatever you need to.” She winks at me. “I'm sure that my sister and I can manage Equestria while the Prince is gone – at least for a while.”

I grin and snap off a salute. I'm not really sure if a salute is proper when dealing with royalty, but I don't bother to stop and try to figure it out as I run out of the throne room. There's so much to do! I have to pack, dash off some letters letting some ponies know that 'Scales' will be out of the office for a while, wrap up a few unfinished pieces of business, send a letter to the mayor of Saddlefield, purchase train tickets, maybe arrange for a carriage... And convince the Prince. I skid to a stop. Horseapples. I never actually stopped to think about whether the Prince would go along with this. What if he hates the idea or refuses to go?

I snort and set my jaw in what feels like a determined scowl. It doesn't matter. This is for his own good. I'm going to see that he gets out of the castle and makes some friends if it costs me all of my vacation days.

I push the door to Blueblood's suite open and knock on the bedroom door. “Blueblood? Are you awake yet?” A muffled groan answers me. “Well, make yourself decent, I'm coming in.”

A few beams of sunlight stream through the partially-drawn curtains, falling on the four-poster bed and illuminating the stallion sprawled awkwardly atop the covers. Blueblood groans again and draws a tangled lump of covers more tightly over himself. I roll my eyes. “Come on, it's time to get up. You've slept far too long already.”

He pushes himself up, blinking bleary, bloodshot eyes. “Urg... I feel as if a stack of my books landed right on my head...”

I chuckle. “You crawled pretty far into that bottle last night.”

He sighs and wipes his eyes with a hoof. “I'm sorry about that. That was... embarrassing and uncouth. I shouldn't have-”

I put a hoof on his shoulder to stop him. “It's alright. You were having a pretty rough night. Now get yourself cleaned up, and then get packed. We're going on a trip.”

“A trip? Where? Why?” I hoof the letter over to him. He reads it, then hoofs it back to me, frowning. “Why are we going on a trip? This is just a property dispute, and frankly, it could be handled in an afternoon.”

“It could... but it won't be. Because you – or rather, Scales – will be going there to handle it himself. In pony.”

He blinks. “Why would I do that? The entire point of Scales is that he is nopony. No one has ever met him, which makes him perfect for working anonymously.”

“That's about to change. You said you wanted to make friends? Well, Saddlefield is as far from the Canterlot elite as it gets. This is your chance to get away from them and Prince Badblood and make some friends on your own.”

He gulps. “I... I don't know, Ink. What if somepony there has heard of me or recognizes me? I mean, we can't be sure that nopony knows about me.”

I stare him straight in the eye. “Look, this is your best chance. From what I can tell, Saddlefield is the one place in Equestria where we can be as close to absolutely sure that nopony has heard of you. These ponies are writing to you, asking for your help. You said last night that you wanted to make friends. Well, do you, or don't you?”

He grits his teeth, than grins. “I do!” I feel a grin spreading on my own face in response.

“That's the spirit! Now go get ready, there's a lot to do.” He trots into the bathroom, and I hear the sound of water running as he calls through the door.

“You should probably wait by the door, Ironback will be here any minute.”

“What? Why?”

“To come along, I assume. He is the leader of my bodyguards, and it would be rather hard for him to guard me if he wasn't around.”

“How would he know? I literally left Princess Celestia a few minutes ago.”

“The guards are all tremendous gossips. Frankly, I'm a little surprised he didn't beat you here.” I snort. There's no way he could know that fast. I've heard of news traveling fast, but this is ridiculous.

Knock knock knock.

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. I trot over to the door and pull it open to find myself staring into a mass of black fur. The stallion in the door stands a good head taller than me, and, I can't help noticing, appears muscular enough to twist me into a pretzel. I track my gaze upwards into a pair of intense blue eyes that look like they're trying to push me out of the way with nothing but the force of their stare. I gulp. “Captain Ironback, I presume?”

“That's me.” He strides past me into the room and drops into one of Blueblood's chairs. “I hear you and the Prince will be leaving the castle. I intend to go with you.” It's not a question.

I run a hoof through my mane and take a deep breath. Best to make a good impression. “Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Blueblood's told me a great deal about you-”

“Ah, skip the flattery, kid. It's not going to do me any good.”

“It might give you a swollen head, though.” Blueblood steps through his bedroom door, toweling off his mane with his magic. He smiles at Ironback. “Good to see you again, you old warhorse.”

Ironback's expression cracks slightly and he smiles just a little. “It's good to see you again, sir. I was worried when I heard you had a new assistant. I didn't have a chance to do any background checks, but now I see there was no cause for alarm. I don't think this guy could have assassinated Fine Souffle down in the kitchens.”

Blueblood blinks. “Fine Souffle is almost seventy years old.”

Ironback smirks. “Exactly.”

“I'm standing right here, you know,” I grumble.

Ironback snorts. “Just breaking you in, new guy. Now, what do you need me to do?”

I blink. “Do?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, do. If I'm coming on this little friendship expedition of yours, then I'm going to pull my own weight, and probably some of yours. Now, what do you need me to do?”

Even with Ironback's help, it takes us several hours to get ready, and by the end of it I've nearly ground my teeth to nubs in frustration. Blueblood might be highly educated, but it appears he missed out on Packing Quickly 101. It takes me almost 30 minutes to convince him that it would be a better idea to leave his mane loose rather than styling it, as it might help to make sure ponies don't recognize him. He then went in completely the other direction, and I had to spend another 30 minutes convincing him that no, you do not need a full disguise, please put the mane dye down and please don't point that spray bottle at me.

I can't bring myself to get mad at him, though. First, I'm pretty sure that he's just using the obsessions and dithering to cover the fact that he's nervous about the trip. Every so often, I catch him staring off into the distance, shifting awkwardly from hoof to hoof, completely oblivious to whatever he's doing. Whenever I ask him what he's doing, he just brushes it off. If I hadn't left Canterlot or made friends in years, I'd be nervous too, so I cut him some slack. Second, he's my employer, and that would be a good way to buy a one-way ticket to you've-just-been-fired-land.

Or maybe he's just a really bad packer. It's hard to tell.

I dash off a letter for the mayor of Saddlefield explaining that we'll be coming and send it off by pegasus express, then get us tickets for an overnight train. There's no stop in Saddlefield, so we have to take a carriage the rest of the way from the nearest station. Of course, we don't get started until an hour after we arrive because it takes me that long to convince Ironback that he should find a place to stay near the train station, on the grounds that a scholar probably wouldn't have a personal bodyguard. I point out that since the entire point of this trip is for Blueblood to be incognito, we should try to avoid doing anything that might break his cover. He huffs and glares at me like he wants to rearrange my facial features, but eventually gives in. We ask the carriage drivers to let us out a short distance from town, leaving us trotting down a smooth dirt road past long, rolling fields of grass and wild plants.

I'm glad that I packed light. There's a slight breeze, but the sun is beating down pretty hard. Despite all of the law books crammed into Blueblood's saddlebags, he seems very chipper. He turns and flashes me a grin.

“I must say Ink, I'm already glad you brought me out here. I can't believe I went this long without a chance to get out of the city and breathe some fresh air.”

“I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Bl-I mean, Scales.”

He winks conspiratorially. “It would be best if we used my nom de plume, wouldn't it? Wouldn't want to give my secret identity away.”

I roll my eyes. “Don't get carried away, super spy.” As we reach a dip in the road and start to climb back up the other side, we hear the sound of grunting from the other side, followed by a muttered expletive. We hurry up the rest of the way to find a flat stretch, a downed tree across the road, a covered cart, and a unicorn. The mare has her shoulder against the fallen foliage, her muscles straining against its weight. Her slate gray coat is plastered with sweat; judging from the looks of it, she's been at this for a while, and hasn't made very much progress in clearing the road. After a moment, she steps back and stomps her hoof in frustration before dropping to a sitting position.

“Ah, ponyfeathers.”

I glance at Blueblood, one eyebrow cocked. He shrugs and takes a step forwards. “Excuse me, ma'am. Could we perhaps be of assistance?”

She looks back at us over her shoulder, and her face breaks into a tired smile. “I'd really appreciate it. No clue when this came down – it wasn't here the last time I came into town.”

Blueblood smiles. “Glad to. Ink?” We trot to the tree and place our shoulders against it. Blueblood lights his horn, and a burst of telekinesis partially lifts one end of the tree off the ground. The mare follows suit, and we all throw our weight into the tree, which slowly begins to roll. “So...” Blueblood asks through gritted teeth, “you don't live in Saddlefield?”

“Nope,” the mare replies, her neck muscles taught with exertion. “I live about a mile back. I go into town a lot, through.” As she speaks, the tree begins to pick up momentum, rolling over and over as it curves back towards the side of the road. The work gets easier as it goes, and soon the tree is lying by the side of the road, only its top branches spilling into the road. “There. That should be good enough for now. I'll let the mayor know to get somepony out to deal with this.” She brushes her ruby red mane back and gives us another grateful smile, one that sets her blue eyes twinkling. “I'm real grateful for your help, strangers. Couldn't have gotten my cart into town without it.”

Blueblood smiles and bows. “Delighted to be of assistance, Miss. We're going into Saddlefield ourselves, and we couldn't just pass you by. My name is Scales, and this is Ink Blot, my personal assistant. We've come from Canterlot for some business in Saddlefield.”

“Oh yeah, I remember hearing Speak talk about you. You're those legal ponies, right? He seemed real excited. Didn't know you'd be coming into town though. I'm Ruby, Ruby Vein.” She hitches herself up to her cart with magic and starts trotting down the road. Even with its weight, she moves effortlessly, and I almost have to canter to keep up.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ms. Vein. Why do you live so far out of town? Are you a farmer?” I'm a little proud of the fact that I barely sound out of breath, especially after exertion like that.

“Hah!” She snorts. “Not hardly, not with a cutie mark like this.” She gestures to her flank and the ruby and crossed pickaxes there. “I'm a gem miner. My whole family is, me and my brother and my younger siblings. The Gemcrackers have mined in Saddlefield for five generations now. There's a lot of families that have been here even longer, and most everypony knows each other.”

Blueblood nods appreciatively. “Quite the pedigree, Ms. Vein. You must be quite proud.”

Ruby snorts. “Can't say I ever thought about it in those terms, but yeah, we're proud of our roots here. And don't call me Mrs. Vein – that was my mother. I'm just Ruby.” She shakes her head. “Still not sure why you had to come all the way out here. Our problems don't seem all that important, especially not important enough to get somepony all the way out from Canterlot. Everypony around here is pretty laid back and easygoing.”

Blueblood gives a winning smile. “I wanted to take advantage of the chance to travel and get away from Canterlot. I do enjoy field work.”

Ah, going with blatant lies, I see.

Ruby shrugs. “Whatever. I hope you enjoy your stay in Saddlefield; it's not much to look at, but it's a pretty nice town. We're welcoming to strangers, and we'll deal with you straight. Not much like the Canterlot ponies and royalty you're used to, I'll wager.” I'm not sure if she catches Blueblood wincing at the mention of 'Canterlot ponies and royalty'. To his credit, he recovers quickly and acts as if nothing was wrong.

“Yes, well, there are some... disagreeable sorts in Canterlot, yes. But there are a number of very good, generous, honest ponies as well.”

“I'll take your word for it. Never been there myself. If you ever need somepony to show you around Saddlefield, I'd be glad to oblige ya, as long as it doesn't get in the way of my mine work.”

Blueblood flashes that winning smile again. “It'd be a pleasure, Ruby. It would be great to get a chance to get to know your town better.” By this time, we've reached the edges of Saddlefield. It's not a very big city, with houses and small shops branching out from a central square. The houses are relatively plain, and most aren't very large, but they seem well-kept. Several ponies wave or nod to Ruby as we pass. She raises an eyebrow at Blueblood, but doesn't say anything.

“Alright, well, just come and find me whenever you want. Our mine is back up the road into town. Just keep an eye out for the sign on the right side of the road, you can't miss it. Where are you staying while you're in town?”

I shrug. “We haven't found a place yet. I heard there were some good bed & breakfast places in Saddlefield, though.”

Ruby nods. “Yeah, Missus Star down at the south end of town usually has a spare room or two for rent. Tell the truth, a lot of ponies in town have a spare bedroom or two they wouldn't mind renting out, so long as you're neat.”

“Would it be possible for us to stay with you?” I blink at Blueblood in surprise. Where did that come from? Ruby seems to share my surprise.

“W-What? I mean, I don't know...”

“We would, of course, pay for the privilege. Of course, we understand if you are unable, but you've already been so generous as to offer us a tour of Saddlefield, and we'd be ever so grateful if you would help us out.” He glances at me, as if expecting me to say something. After a moment, I shake myself out of my surprise.

“Uh... right. It would mean an awful lot to us.”

Ruby rubs the back of her neck before she shrugs. “Well... what the hay. We got some spare beds. We used to have seasonal workers in, but we haven't in a long time. You can stay in those rooms if you like.” She jerks her head at a large brick building overlooking the central square. The silver lettering on its facade reads TOWN HALL. “The mayor's office is in there if you want to introduce yourselves. I've gotta go drop off these gems at the depot so they can get sent out for sale on the weekly cargo carriage. I'll be back in a little while, and then we can go back to the house.”

Blueblood grins and bows. “We will be waiting, Ruby, and thank you again.” The town hall isn't very big, and the receptionist seems glad of the distraction from filing. We introduce ourselves, and she walks back to tell the mayor. When she returns, she's accompanied by an orange pegasus. His light blue mane falls over his face and his eyes, and he brushes it back before looking us over through a pair of spectacles perched on his muzzle. His eyes widen when he spots Blueblood, and he zips forward, hovering in mid-air while shaking Blueblood's hoof with both forehooves.

“Well, Mr. Scales, it is a pleasure to meet you, a real pleasure. My name is Legal Speak, and I'm the mayor around here. I must say, I'm quite a fan of yours; I've followed your work very closely during my time as a lawyer and our town judge. I was so surprised when I got your letter; what with your reputation for privacy, I never thought I'd get the chance to meet you in person. Well, I am just tickled pink by this chance! I'm so glad you've decided to come out here to help us with our little trouble, and if there's anything at all that I can do to make your stay more comfortable, I am at your disposal!”

Blueblood seems somewhat taken aback by the torrent of words and the vigorous hoof-shaking, but he stands a bit taller and smiles at the adoration. “Well, it's a pleasure to be here, Legal Speak. This is my assistant, Ink Blot. He's the one who made this trip possible.” I smile and bow; at last, some recognition. “Ink has filled me in on the details of your case, but I'd like to get some firsthand experience with the claimants and the case. I'd like to meet with both of them individually and examine any documents that might be pertinent. Would tomorrow morning suit?”

“Perfectly, just perfectly.” If Legal Speak's grin gets any wider, his jaw might dislocate. “I'll be sure to let Wild Vine and Coal Tunnel know and prepare all of the documentation I can – which isn't much, unfortunately. Do you have a place to stay while you're in town?”

I nod. “We do. Ruby Vein was kind enough to offer us the chance to stay with her.”

“Ruby, ah! Wonderful mare. The Gemcrackers have always been one of the pillars of this community. You couldn't find a better pony to introduce you to Saddlefield.”

“Now, Mayor, you know I'm not all that.” The three of us turn to see Ruby leaning against the doorway. “I'm just a miner who's doing her best to carry on as her parents and grandparents did.” She winks at Legal Speak. “That don't mean you should stop complimenting me, though.”

Legal Speak chuckles. “Always a pleasure to see you, Ruby. Will you be heading back to the mine, then?”

Ruby nods. “That's right, but I'll be back tomorrow to show these two around some, so you'll see more of me then.” She nods to Blueblood and I. “You two ready to get going? I can't afford to hang too long; I'm going to need to get extra work done tonight so I can show you around tomorrow.”

Blueblood smiles and trots out of the town hall after her. “Lead the way, Ruby.” Ruby hitches herself to her cart, sitting next to the town hall steps, and sets out after making sure we're both with her. “Alright, then let's go. Time to introduce you to the family.”

Author's Note:

Sorry this took so long. Chapter 6 took me a lot longer to write than it should have.

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