Disclosure
Chapter Six: Disclosure
Germane woke and felt incredibly confused. He was too comfortable to be on the cot in his workshop, and it didn't smell like he was in the hospital. He wasn't on some isolated hay bale, either, since that would have been more scratchy. There was a body on top of him that was way too light to be Time Turner, whose bed he'd once -innocently- woken up in after Granny Smith opened up her hard cider reserves one Hearth's Warming Eve, and his mouth didn't have the taste of one of Zecora's potions.
'Damn you, Pinkie.'
Eyes half-lidded, he breathed in. Ink and lavender and something like frost on autumn grass. His senses as a pony could be fun, sometimes, but he couldn't quite place that last-
-A shimmering mane curling around an elegant, dark neck and eyes bright with centuries of restrained mischief-
-scent which was obviously Luna. That would explain the blue expanse of fur that shifted slightly with his every breath.
Feeling far too tired to engage in a full-on panic, he let his eyes slip closed and tried to recall the entirety of last night. Stories, and jokes, and some challenge involving a broken lamp and all the silverware he could get his hooves on... and finally being the second one to succumb to sleep. Either Twilight had followed shortly thereafter, or an especially soft lunar guard had gotten very brave and wandered into Luna's quarters to drool on Germane's wing.
'Too tired to even pretend that last one might be true,' he mused, and pushed his face a bit closer to the princess. 'No bad dreams, but I'm pretty certain you were running through my head anyway.' Then the stallion rolled his still-shut eyes at the sheer level of sap in his last thought.
He wanted to sleep longer. He really did, but since he was awake, he was suffering from a very obvious problem. He had to pee. Beyond that, the pressure on his bladder was pushing him very close to the kind of reaction that plagued teenage boys and men that were playing 'big spoon' for an attractive princess. If he started poking Luna in the spine, she might, well, he actually didn't know what she might do, but figured it would complicate the morning a bit more than he could handle without coffee. Even in a mostly-nudist society, walking around with one's more obviously male attributes hanging out of one's sheath was pretty damned indecent.
Plus the whole 'herd dynamics' thing was enough to stop his brain.
With skill born from escaping from inside piles of still-running machinery, he shuffled back from under Twilight and replaced himself with a pillow. Luna shifted uneasily, so he placed the first mare's foreleg over the spot where his head had been leaning. From his new spot standing on the floor, Germane grinned and declared success. Then he felt horribly worried and wondered where in Luna's suite he could find an actual bathroom. Before he shuffled off toward a likely-looking door, he glanced back at the massive bed, and to the mares wrapped in expansive blue sheets.
'Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Faust, I'd really like to wake up like that again.'
Luna woke for the second time. The first had been shortly before the break of day to commit five minutes to her moon-setting duties, which didn't require she get out of bed. She smacked her lips and stretched her limbs. Or rather, five of her limbs. Her right wing was trapped under a warm, breathing weight. Twilight, she presumed, since Germane was at the other end of the room and poking at some sort of bare, steel contraption. It was pleasant, to watch him methodically poke at the thing and mutter to himself. What, she wondered, was he trying to accomplish?
Why was there a crate of oranges on the floor next to her vanity table?
She felt Twilight shift just slightly over her primaries. Grinning, the princess rolled and captured the sleeping mare in all four legs.
"Good morning!"
Not a phrase she got a great deal of use out of, admittedly, but it certainly fit! The smaller pony curled in on herself and mumbled, but didn't wake. Luna kissed the crown of her head, just below the horn. Then she kept making a trail of soft contact toward Twilight's ear. The last night hadn't been very intimate in the physical sense, but Luna was certain she would be well-received. To her delight, Twilight gave a startled inward breath and pressed herself closer.
Luna pressed one foreleg toward her purple-coated belly and glanced up over Twilight's mane. Germane had circled the bed and was staring with eyes wide like a colt's. The princess let her eyes go half-lidded, and she grinned as she placed another kiss on Twilight's ear.
"Should I have woken you like that?" asked the stallion.
"I would not have complained," replied Luna. Germane swallowed.
"Oh. That's... oh." The reaction was adorable, yes, but Luna was willing to push it a bit further.
"Would you care to aid me?" she asked. "You have given her such touches before, have you not?" That expression on his face, the raw need, sent a shiver up her back. It really had been too long. And the affection she saw plain as night, held back only by an uncertainty about his station was just as nostalgic. He didn't carry himself with the hesitation of a subject, but of a stallion being offered more than he deserved.
That wouldn't do.
"Please?" she asked. And that did it- helpful young Germane just couldn't refuse a request. She hoped that with time, he'd understand that she couldn't refuse him, either. They both wanted desperately for this to work. Though that, too, might grow into a problem, it was one she knew to watch out for. Plain bedfellows knew no equality, but lovers simply had to. Therefore she would restrain herself just the slightest bit, until...
Luna smiled against Twilight's mane as Germane gently stepped onto the bed and brought a wing to the curve of Twilight's jaw. Winged ponies held their loved ones with the tools of their one true freedom, she'd heard said, once upon a time.
"Mmm..."
When Twilight groaned, Luna gave a meaningful glance toward the mare's head and pulled back to reach her muzzle. Germane got the idea, and took her place kissing at the tense, violet ears as Luna licked at the corners of Twilight's mouth.
"Nnn!"
Luna felt a small, delicate hoof wrap around her neck. Conscious or not, Twilight was clearly enjoying the treatment. Was the young mare picturing Germane? Herself? Luna smiled into the next kiss- it would be both, if she were lucky.
Before she could move again, she found herself being kissed. Not five minutes after waking, and the day had surpassed good and turned great! Luna her tongue under Twilight's lip, just enough to tease. That was when the mare woke with a gasp.
She stared at Luna, crossing her eyes until they were focused on her muzzle.
"Ah, ah... eep?" Then she gasped, and Luna saw that Germane hadn't bothered stopping.
"Do you trust us, Twilight?" she asked. The confused mare kept staring, until she seemed to catch on to the fact that she'd been asked a question. She gave the barest, most tentative of nods. Luna grinned with all the warmth she could muster, then leaned in to whisper in the unicorn's ear.
"Then close your eyes, and do not open them until we ask. Enjoy this as if you were still dreaming, please, and we'll tell you when it is fine to 'wake'." Twilight bit at her lip, and uncertainty painted itself across her face until Germane leaned in and whispered next.
"I'm pretty certain that the only thing better than waking up with you once would be waking up with you twice in one morning, Twilight."
The mare gasped again as the sensation of new contact reached her, but she closed her eyes. Luna started to trail her mouth down her chest.
Twilight didn't trust herself to speak. Or to move. She'd woken up to a wet 'dream', sweating and sore even though nothing like what she thought sex was had even happened. She, he, they were just everywhere. She curled her tail up under herself in embarrassment, but realized that what she needed was a hair-growth spell that would let the thing cover her whole body.
'That's hardly even feasible,' she scolded herself, though didn't dismiss the idea out of hoof. It had just been so embarrassing! Somewhat. She didn't think she should be embarrassed by what had happened, or her... reaction to it. Heck, Germane and Luna had been the ones to initiate it. They'd done the kissing, and the touching, and drawing circles with their mouths around her-
'Gah!'
Twilight wouldn't lie to herself. That was probably the crowning moment of her life that she would never, ever be able to forget. Would that happen again? She hoped it would. Maybe not at that precise moment, given the way her muscles still felt too-warm and parts of her flesh still flared like hypersensitive nerve clusters, but sometime.
The unicorn had tried to return the favor, but Luna had just pressed her back and reminded her that she was supposed to be sleeping. And then licked the thin fur at the base of her horn again.
With a deep, full-body shudder, Twilight forced the memory of that away. She had to get up and do... things. She had a checklist somewhere!
'Though I don't care how much rearranging it takes, I'm fitting a time block for a long shower in there,' she thought rebelliously. Walking through the palace while smelling like, like that was a thought that made her want to retreat under the bed like Spike did, before the little guy had accepted the necessity of 'bedtime'.
Her mind made up, she pushed off of bed and went in search of a bathroom. She made it about two feet before a low whistle sounded.
"You look very good like that, Miss Twilight."
Germane grinned from across the room. Behind him, Luna poked uncertainly over the crate of oranges that she'd ordered brought up to the room. Did she not recall doing that? Twilight put the question out of her mind when she saw that Germane was still casting that lecherous look at her.
"It's too early to start this back and forth stuff, Germane. I need to shower- I'm sure I'll be better able to put up with you teasing me after that."
"Who's teasing?"
The shower was absolutely heaven-sent, and for more than one reason. Twilight managed to fight off the flush in her face by the time she'd begun siphoning water out of her coat and back into Luna's absolutely ludicrous bathtub. The washroom was the size of her library's reading area, and easily dwarfed the generous space she'd had to herself as a castle-dwelling filly. The princess wasn't that much larger than the average pony. Stately, really, and most of that height came from her long, long legs-
'No! Not right now. Brain, I command you to turn off.' That didn't work, of course. It never did, and the problem she had with her train of thought was that she didn't, so to speak, want to put on the brakes.
Less than two months ago, she'd been cheerfully, obliviously single. She hadn't been lonely, by any stretch of her imagination- not with the girls, and Spike, and the rest of her family. She'd known love, if in a different variety. She'd known affection too, of course. In her quieter moments, when she was sure of her privacy, she'd even known lust.
Only apparently with being only one pony by herself, she hadn't felt even half of all that that implied. And even after she'd washed the desire away, in every sense of the word, she found herself left with a strong, burning brand in her chest that sent her thoughts lined up like iron filings to a false magnetic North.
'North' was about twenty feet away and observing a crate full of oranges. Twilight ran a brush through her mane one last time and stepped out through the door.
"There is a switch, isn't there? We should press it." Luna had apparently brought her attention back to the machine. And, Twilight noted, was wearing a pair of reading glasses.
'Would an alicorn even need reading glasses, really?' she wondered.
"You know, I've said that exact same thing at least a dozen times," admitted Germane through a mouthful of screwdriver. He wasn't actually using it on the machine, even, he was just chewing on it. Possibly to appear more thoughtful.
"Oh? You've come across similar situations, then," the princess prompted. The stallion nodded.
"Mm. I'm always finding old projects. And every time I think, 'why not turn it on? What could possibly go wrong?' And..." he trailed off, before nodding to himself. "And I really hate to break old habits. Hit it, Luna!"
With a squeaky, gleeful noise, Luna hit the switch. The machine sparked, vibrated halfway off of the table, and then the door behind Twilight exploded. She had the faintest impression of orange, but then the wash of air behind what must have been a projectile hadn't even carried an after-image.
"Meep?"
The two ponies stared over the now-silent machine, both looking completely horrified. Twilight looked back over her shoulder and saw that, through the hole in the door, there was a patch of morning sky on the other side of the bathroom.
"The weather pegasi are going to be furious," she muttered dumbly. Germane coughed.
"I think we made some sort of fast-pitch machine. With... fruit. That seems so wildly impractical that even I should have thought twice before building it. Without, you know, setting up a backstop first..."
Twilight sent a confused look at the stallion.
"It's a candy machine. It candies oranges." She cleared her throat. "It's supposed to be, at least. I don't think my spells interacted with its internal mechanisms very well." Germane went from looking confused to delighted.
"So it really is enchanted! I thought it had to be, or else this little turn belt should have been completely impossible, you know?" To his side, Luna gave him a strange glance.
"You could not tell? It has at least four layered spells upon it."
"Oh? Where at?" Germane shook his head. "No, erm, better draw them out. I think I can make out a blueprint for you." He spat out the screwdriver and glanced between the mares. "What?" Twilight stepped up to the table, consciously ducking under the flight path of any more dangerous fruit.
"Germane, they're right there," she said, pointing. She lit her horn for emphasis, and the enchantments gave off their own, sympathetic glows. He eyed them and nodded.
"Right. Um. What are they? Oh, wait! Let me guess."
Twilight met Luna's eyes, and realized that they were both pondering the exact same question. The unicorn, though, suddenly had an answer. She came up behind Germane and draped a hoof over his neck.
"I'm sorry if I was a bit puzzled- you spend so much time putting together your magical... circuits, that I think we forgot you don't cast like a unicorn. Or sense like one." He frowned at that, but it was more a look of concentration than any real hurt.
"It sort of tastes all coppery in high-magic fields, but not really, no." He poked at a heating coil. "Is this drawing sugar from... ooh, clever! But, ah, no. You're right. I've got to show my work on my math assignments, Professor Twilight. Unicorns just get shortcuts." He looked at her in curiosity. "Do you everhave to draw out your spell diagrams? Or can you just free-cast everything?"
"Well, certain spells that I'm casting for the first time, yes, I have to diagram. If they're complicated. One of the last ones was that time-travel spell, I think."
"Oh. Time travel. Is that all?" Twilight suddenly felt worried- Germane didn't sound like he was breathing very well at all.
"It was just the one time," she said. Except that the princess was giving her a very similar look.
"I'd thought that a... fancy, or an illusion, to speak the truth," said the alicorn. "It seems I have more than law books to catch up on, when it comes to recent history."
"If unicorns weren't already magical, I'd insist that you were magical, Twilight, if that makes any sense." At Germane's words, Luna nodded.
"Indeed."
"Whatever, you two," said Twilight, not managing to come off as nonchalant as she'd hoped. So she was a little gifted! There wasn't any need to make a big deal out of it.
"Anyways," said Germane with a little grin, "I'm thinking of handing this over to Bon Bon. Sort of as a peace offering for ticking off her fillyfriend, yeah? Or Pinkie- she's all about sweet things." Twilight twitched.
"You are not giving that to Pinkie," she declared. Germane looked shocked for a moment, before seeming to remember the hole in the wall.
"Maybe after I fix the velocity..."
Eventually, Luna declared that they were all up early enough to go down and enjoy the first real breakfast she'd been awake for in over half a year. Germane immediately stumbled off at the possibility of coffee, and Twilight was about to follow his lead, before she stopped. Thinking quickly, she held the door for Luna. The taller mare smiled and trotted past.
Acting before her mind could turn on itself in a kind of list-shaped failsafe, which even still managed to get to point three: you do not provoke royalty!, she tucked her head to the side and kissed Luna's cutie mark. The mare shivered, and Twilight found herself frozen at her own audacity when Luna turned and, with wide eyes, stared.
"Still mine heart," she muttered, just loudly enough for the unicorn to hear, then smiled brighter than her own satellite shined at its fullest.
Germane suspected that the breakfast table was a lot more full than it had been in a while. The first pony he saw of course was Celestia, presiding over the long hall like a proud parent on Easter morning. At her left side was Spike, and then Rarity, while Germane saw three more places open at her right. He would have had the uncomfortable feeling that he was only there because she had to humor her younger sister, except for the numerous just-cleared places set even further down the table.
He'd almost forgotten that the other coordinators had been offered places in the palace's quarters, though he was a little bewildered that they were already gone. It wasn't even noon yet!
"Hello, darlings!" crowed Rarity, who happened to be the only one facing them right off. Germane felt the subtle air currents cast by the two mares at his side, and allowed them to go first. They were a lot more familiar with the metaphorical lay of the land, after all. Also, he got the furthest seat that he was aiming for. Twilight especially seemed happier than anything to be between her teacher and her fillyfriend.
Germane found himself being stared down by a tiny dragon.
"Well?" asked the green and purple figure. The stallion sighed.
"Well?"
"Spike, dearie, what's the matter?" asked Rarity. The dragon gestured furiously.
"He kissed my sister! Again! I can see it in his traitorous eyes."
Cue spit-takes, laughter, and shocked horror from around the table.
"Spike!" shouted Twilight. Rarity dabbed at her mouth with a napkin with an eerie sense of poise.
"Oh my, is there something wrong with kissing, Spike?" Germane sent a quiet prayer to Saint Rarity as she smiled demurely. "I would think you were old enough to see affection as the beautiful thing it is. I suppose we all mature at our own pace, really..." Poor Spike, Germane saw, was near to having a panic attack. Out of a sense of pity and desire to get brownie points with Twilight -because he wasn't completely selfless- he stepped into the conversation.
"I think it's more him being a bit too chivalrous, Miss Rarity," the stallion said. "My fault, I guess, since we haven't gotten to know each other well enough." Rarity's eyes sparkled with mischief- she'd always been one of the most fun members of Twilight's circle, for what little interaction he'd had with them.
"A boy's night out, you mean?"
"Exactly! Maybe Twilight can have a night out with the five of you at the same time."
'Smooth, Germane. You get a gold star and possible smooches.' He immediately buried the thought, just on the off chance that dragons were somehow psychic, or something, Though he imagined that the little guy would have grown up a lot more traumatized, if that were the case.
"Do you really mean that?" asked Twilight, leaning forward to glance around Luna. Germane shrugged.
"Sure!" He smiled, and did his best to ignore Spike's suspicious glare. Then Rarity came through for him again.
"Such a gentledrake, to be so protective of your sister." The dragon immediately switched focus and began buffing his claws on his chest.
"Yes, well..."
"I heard you were leaving this evening," said Celestia, who'd apparently waited for the right time to drop into the conversation. "Are you perhaps a bit more camera shy than your fellow humans?"
"No, your highness." Yes. Very much yes. "I think the reporters got enough shots of us last night," he said, remembering the various line-ups and pushy photographers. "I already agreed to see a few writers back in Ponyville, if they feel like tracking me down, but I don't want to be away for too long." He was suddenly aware of twin concerned gazes from the mares at his right.
"You're not staying?" asked Luna. Rarity made some some of abrupt, high-pitched squee that everybody pretended not to notice. Germane ducked his head a little, embarrassed.
"The other coordinators have replacements to watch their wild magic zones," he admitted. "It's not likely that we'll get somebody else so soon after the newbie, but out of the one or two of the, uh," he realized then that he'd have to come up with a better word than 'ex-human'. It sounded either depressing or demeaning, and only really applied to the first generation arrivals. "...Of us at Ponyville," he continued, "who didn't come up to Canterlot, none of them have the training."
While he didn't doubt that Redheart was tough enough to manage the Everfree, she didn't have his sheer experience, either.
"I don't think I've had the exact mechanics of your arrivals explained," commented the solar diarch. Was that a suspicious tone? He couldn't tell.
"Fuzzy, your majesty. The Everfree is... big," he said, massively understating it, "and we haven't found a strict pattern for arrival. Honestly, it tends to be a lot worse on my end given the sheer size and coverage of the area."
There had been some really, really bad nights, before, and Simba was not the most dangerous thing in the forest.
"Another thing I'd hoped to discuss with the coordinators," Celestia admitted. "If you're going to be gone, do you trust them to speak for you?" A more formal-sounding, polite tone went into that one. Germane tried to sum up his thoughts in exactly the same way.
"Anything that's not a direct, unique request made of myself personally, yes. They sometimes have... odd expectations of me." Too high, or too low, or sometimes involving airlift capacity, or something. "But anything that everybody else is okay with for themselves, I'm also good for." He figured she meant the census thing, which was cool with him.
"Splendid! Anything else, and I'm sure I or... my sister, of course, will be in touch." Luna moved, slightly, at his side.
"Tia! There is no need to behave, so!"
"Behave how, sister?" asked Celestia. Butter wouldn't have melted in her mouth. Germane was wiling to say that despite seeing butter-covered pancakes literally melting on the plate in front of her. Luna snorted.
"It's all a worthy undertaking, which he is quite worthy of," the alicorn declared. Germane found himself wrapped in one very large, very dark wing.
He made a noise sort of like 'meep', but not really.
Spike didn't look sure if he wanted to laugh or turn nauseous, while Rarity was grinning like a madmare. Germane couldn't see Twilight, but judging by her own 'meep' noise and the movement of Luna's whithers, the princess had decided not to leave her out of the wing hug. Celestia herself seemed torn between worry and amusement.
"I don't think anypony here oblivious," said Luna, "but I will make it doubly clear- I am courting these two and would ask you blessings." The words hadn't left her mouth before Rarity perked up.
"Oh, absolutely! Quite the, er, trio!" She nudged Spike. The little guy seemed a little more torn over giving the 'overprotective brother' speech to an alicorn.
"Er... yeah. Take care of Twilight. She's... yeah." Luna beamed.
"You've already heard my opinion on the matter," declared Celestia, which was worrying to Germane. Luna apparently agreed.
"Tia..." Celestia sighed.
"Very well." She looked to Twilight. "Take care of my sister, Twilight. She's a hoof full. Luna, don't destroy my student's heart or I will start sending Hearts and Hooves cards to Discord in your name." There was a kind of table-wide twitch, at that. Next, she met Germane's eyes. Surprisingly, he didn't see anger or any hint of ominous warning in her expression.
"Germane, these are the most precious mares in the entire world. Please treat them as such." Germane didn't so much as hesitate.
"Yes, your highness." Then she smiled, and he saw a little bit in her of what Twilight probably saw all the time.
"Wonderful. Please call me Celestia. Try not to take so long to get used to it as Shining Armor did- I think he still automatically salutes whenever he hears the sound of metal horseshoes."
"Princess!" said Twilight, outrage tinged with almost-hidden laughter. The princess laughed.
"My apologies, Twilight. Tell me, do you have any plans for the day?" The young mare nodded frantically.
"Oh, yes. We're going to see my parents for lunch, before Germane's train leaves. I don't think they've met Luna, yet, either."
For the first time since sitting down, Germane didn't feel alone in his sudden sense of foreboding. Luna had frozen. The alicorn's sister had caught on as well, and her smile widened.
"That sounds like fun. So they're meeting the two of your beaus for the first time? I hope the news didn't come as too much of a shock," she said. Twilight gave a sort of half-shrug.
"Well, they were surprised, when they responded to my letter. But uncle Pewter's also in a happy polyamorous relationship, and we always loved having them over. Of course, Luna and Germane are a bit more different-"
Germane wondered how he could have fallen for somebody so obviously delusional.
"-But they sounded excited!" finished Twilight with a dimpled grin. Spike coughed.
"Um, no offense, Twilight, but I think I'll sit this one out and see mom and dad tomorrow," he said. "I mean, it's about you guys today, right?" The coward.
"Now I know you didn't ask for it," cut in Rarity, "but I believe I've managed some 'semi-formal' wear for humans, and in your measurements." Germane blinked. Hard.
"Formal human wear? Wait, when did you get my measurements?!" Rarity waved off his worry.
"I do have my ways, dear. As to the first, I'm sure they've already seen you and the others in the paper. Why, I'd be surprised if some of your race weren't walking around with their Reflex, today, just because they can. Why, I couldn't imagine not appearing as myself, in your situation!"
It was a sweet sentiment, he had to admit. Still, to go from blatant 'member of your daughter's threesome' to 'ape-descendant in your daughter's threesome' might be... horrifying. Except that Twilight was still smiling, and he was stallion enough to bow to the inevitable.
"I also managed something in your measurements, Princess Luna," said Rarity cheerfully.
"How did you get my... nevermind," said Luna. "Oh... goody."
Walking the city was a new experience. Her guards, by their nature, followed at a very discrete distance and gave the appearance that Luna and her companions were completely unaccompanied. She was rather shocked to find that she was only the subject of half the looks being aimed their way. She cast a sidelong glance at the tall figure next to her.
Germane had actually hid, when they reached the palace's grand entryway. It had taken some sort of modified, human-applicable spell from Twilight to drag him out, which mostly meant tugging at his shirt. He was dressed in 'slacks' as well as a more familiar blazer, and consistently putting his hands in and out of the pockets of his lower garment. Twilight had her own, fetching sun dress. Luna wore an elaborate afghan, which the Element of Generosity had knitted wholesale out of some ultra-soft wool. And it looked good, if she said so herself. She ought to wear clothing more often, since Germane had managed to compliment it even while trying to cling to an ornamental column.
"In what way do I not stick out like a sore hoof?" asked the human stallion.
"There are some humans just over there!" said Twilight in exasperation. Luna looked and saw that she'd spotted correctly. Five human mares and stallions were gathered at a cafe in the Royal Square, and looked to be very carefully ignoring the Canterlot citizenry. As she watched, one made a face at a mouthful of hay cake and stole his neighbor's raisin bread. Germane followed Twilight's hoof and assessed the table.
"Australians. Completely shameless. Fun as heck, but completely shameless." Unable to resist, Luna nudged him with a wing.
"Do you claim to be ashamed, Germane? If you've ever wished to see a princess cry in public-" His panicked look was completely worth it, in her opinion.
"No! No, no, definitely not!"
"Truly?"
He kissed her. He really kissed her, in that special 'mine-limbs-art-sagging' way. Luna licked her lips and let her eyelids flutter contentedly open once he finally pulled away.
"Truly," he said. He noticed, same as her, how the square had gone utterly silent. "Now let's go before I collapse in a completely manly fashion from shock."
"It's not that bad," grumbled Twilight half-heartedly, though she seemed close to shrinking in on herself from the sea of eyes. Luna trotted around the pair and put a wing over her back to remedy that. Germane placed a hand at the spot just ahead of it, where the mare's mane ended. Twilight perked up under the contact and held her head a little higher.
"Let's be on our way," declared Luna. "We shouldn't want to keep your parents waiting."
Which was, she'd admit, a phrase she hadn't dreamed of saying out loud in at least eleven centuries. While she was a confident and powerful mare, there were some sorts of trepidation which one never, ever got used to. Ever.
They went together in an easy trot. Germane's longer rear legs mostly made up for the fact that he only had half as many limbs on the ground, and left his hand free to stay resting on Twilight. As they reached one of the avenues leading into the city, Luna repositioned her wing to rest on both it and Twilight's back both. Though he was looking a good deal more pale than he had before, he managed a tight smile.
"I should have worn a tie," he muttered.
"Should I have, as well?" mused Luna. "Is that the custom?" Twilight tittered.
"You're both being silly. This is no big deal! My parents will love both of you. They took to Cadence right away."
"Cadence wasn't an alien."
"Or a once-exiled madmare," added Luna, putting in her two bits. She and Germane traded a look of very strange sympathy. Twilight sighed.
"Trust me? Please?"
"Yes, Twilight," Luna and Germane echoed. She knew they didn't sound very confident in their words, but they would stick to them.
The walk wasn't as long as it could have been- Twilight's family lived nearby, in one of the city's more affluent district. Their home definitely wasn't any kind of stately manor, but was likely as old as the city itself. Her line had a lot of history behind it. Twilight stepped out from between them and hurried up the steps to open the door. For one silly moment, Luna expected her to knock.
"Come on in, guys!" she said, looking back before facing forward and shouting, "Mom, Dad! We're here!" Then she disappeared inside.
"Once more unto the breach," muttered Germane. Luna felt a pleasant shock and glanced over at him.
"You've read Private Pansy's Epilogues?" she asked. His face went blank.
"What now?" He shook his head. "Nevermind. Let's, um, go on in. I guess."
When they entered, Luna found the interior to have every bit the classical beauty as the outside, though it was without a doubt cozy, too. Family photos and knick-knacks bought on vacation vied for space with antiques and hoof-painted canvas. The house was made to generous proportions. Unlike the homes of some frontier settlements, everything was to a scale that didn't require she duck her head. Luna felt that was a nice touch.
"Luna, Germane, up here!" called Twilight from further in. The two of them shuffled cautiously through a hall and into a dining room. The smell of food had already filled the air, though Luna found herself somewhat caught off guard when she saw the pile of take-out bags. She knew that both of Twilight's parents were academics- it might have been unreasonable to expect them to be cooks, as well.
They and their daughter were caught in one massive embrace at the other end of the room. Twilight motioned them both over with an eagerly waving hoof. Luna and Germane more or less pushed each other forward, and achieved a kind of Jacob's ladder of propulsion- a metaphorical object that could carry the same steps that it was also climbing at the same time. The older mare in the group broke off and trotted around the table.
"Welcome to our home, Princess Luna, Germane. Twilight's told us so much about you."
"The good things. She's mentioned the good things?" said Germane with a hopeful lilt at the end.
"Those, too." Luna probably owed it to her own alicorn hearing that she made out the human's subaudible whimper.
"Please call me Luna," she said. "It wouldn't do to stand on formality, given the... circumstances."
'Please don't bow. I have put my mouth on your daughter's body- do not bow!'
Luna had met both Night Light and Twilight Velvet on different occasions. Night Light, in particular, was a member of the Royal Astronomer's Society. One of those who hadn't complained that the disappearance of her outline had ruined the moon's surface. Some ponies could -and would- complain about absolutely anything.
"Then please call me Velvet. This is Light, of course," said Velvet, gesturing toward her husband. He inclined his head politely.
"A pleasure to see you again, Luna. Mister Germane, was it?" Twilight sighed.
"It's just 'Germane', dad. The same pony he was when I first told you we were dating." Night Light nodded uncertainly, looking up at the human.
"She did mention you were usually a pony, yes. I'm just sorry we couldn't get away last night and see the big event first-hand. Come to our planet to steal our mares and resources, have you?"
"Dad!"
"Night!"
It had probably been a joke. Probably.
"That would be Vinyl Scratch, sir. I think Twilight stole me, mostly," said Germane. Internally, the words sounded more like 'please laugh, please laugh'.
He laughed.
"A quick one- I approve, Twily." He coughed. "But, uh, how did this actually start?" Velvet brightened up.
"Oh yes, how did you meet?" Night snorted and rolled his eyes.
"We know that one, love. He was smuggling precious metals."
"A misunderstanding! They were bought and payed for!" cut in Germane. Twilight grimaced.
"Precisely. The girls and I just kept... catching him at the wrong time, I guess."
"She bullied you into it, didn't she?" asked Night. "Same happened with her mother. Came right out and told me to ask her out." Germane was pretty certain Twilight choked, just a little. Velvet, for her part, didn't even seem phased.
"Worked, didn't it?" She moved in and Germane was treated to the sight of an alicorn being dragged into a close-up encounter. "And you asked them out on your own, if I have it right?"
"Yes, Velvet. Shortly after I became involved in the, ah, human integration issue. Twilight asked me for help, you see, and I suppose I had so much fun with the venture that I just didn't want it to end." Luna put on a hopeful smile.
"So romantic!" Night coughed, and the mare perked up. "Oh, yes. Please sit down, all of you. I ordered from this new delicatessen that just opened in the Northern Quarter." Twilight made a short gallop around the table and forced Germane and Luna into seats on either side of her. Velvet tittered.
The chair was probably as out of proportion for Germane as it was for Luna, in different ways, but the kicker was how most of the revealed dishes contained sweetgrass trimmings. Velvet started serving everybody, and he found himself staring dubiously at a plate that looked nice, but smelled like... exactly what it was, really.
"Um, Twilight?" he whispered, "I should really switch." It took the mare a second to catch on to just what he meant, but she nodded.
"Of course. Don't eat what you can't stomach, I guess." Night gave him an odd look.
"You don't like it? I suppose we could switch it out for one of the other dishes." Germane replied with all the speed that not pissing off his marefriend's father dictated.
"Not at all! I meant, um, I should switch myself. Humans aren't built to handle certain foods, is all. If you don't mind?"
"Go ahead," said Velvet, watching curiously. Germane had never before felt so bare while triggering the Reflex. Maybe it had to do with how he felt like he had to impress these ponies twice over because of it, or something. The subdued flash and morphic switch took only a moment, and he was suddenly dressed in just a plain blazer that nearly matched the one he had for his human self.
"Well, I don't know much about how humans measure things, but you seem like a perfectly handsome young pegasus," said Velvet.
"Er, thanks?" He was almost certain he'd brushed his mane. Hopefully.
"What do you do for a living?" asked Night. Germane opened his mouth to answer the question and froze. He had no idea how to answer that. He was sort of a coordinator/ambassador... thing, but that was more like a nonprofit thing. He did a lot of custom work with electronics and useful gizmos, like with Vinyl's setup and the Cakes' frosting carousel, but he only did a couple of those a year, and he hadn't bothered to charge friends.
The telescope had been funded out of the HAC's general trust, and he got a small research grant from them which had built the Morphic Reflex Device and let him tinker with all of his little projects. Food and utilities came out of a small trust that Olive had set up...
'I am way too young to be a doddering, eccentric hobbyist,' he thought. But thank Luna -an automatic and oddly appropriate phrase, considering- somebody provided him an out.
"He's been appointed an ambassadorship," said the alicorn herself. "The coordinators as a whole may be appointed official stewardship over Equestria's wild magic zones, but such things are waiting on discussion by the noble chairs and we princesses. Especially since the Valley Wastes zone has been folded into the new Crystal Empire territories."
"Stewardship?" asked Twilight. "That's... an automatic elevation, isn't it? That's baronhood."
"Sounds a lot more like basic civil service," claimed Germane, suddenly feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Sure, 'baron' sounded like the most badass title ever, but the idea of him being some sort of nobility was weird. Luna shrugged.
"His development of a hoof-held autocast has all but assured he'll receive a scientific knighthood," she claimed. "Much as was the case with Dame Brightbeam, or Sir Cookie."
'This is what I get for showing off,' thought Germane. Only, Twilight was excitedly patting his hoof and he was terrible when it came to disappointing pretty girls.
"Baron Craft then, why not?" he said, his voice almost cracking. Night chuckled.
"Not quite sure how property values will be in timber wolf territory," said the older stallion. "Ah, my... dig in, everypony."
Four horns lit up and utensils began moving about. Thankfully, Germane had never known an ex-human who didn't stubbornly develop all of the hoof dexterity of an earth pony. That strange, gripping-without-grasping thing that could only exist in a magical creature with semi-flexible hooves. Awkward, yes, but then he'd had years to get used to it.
The food was good- it never ceased to be a source of wonder just how much his taste buds differed as a pony. He asked for seconds at the same time Luna asked for thirds. He'd have put it down to her larger proportions, but Velvet made the off-hoof comment that she was a 'growing girl'.
He and Twilight both almost fell off their chairs.
"Very funny, yes," said the alicorn with an arched eyebrow. Germane grinned.
"Eat up, sweetheart."
"It's good to know you're okay with being the smallest pony in this relationship," said Twilight wryly. Germane didn't go for the bait.
"I can get a stepladder." Both mares flushed. It wasn't until he heard the stereo sound of laughter from across the table that he remembered that they were still eating with Twilight's parents.
"No shame in that," declared Velvet. "Pegasi tend toward much smaller frames, after all. Were your parents..." She trailed off. "Oh dear, I'm sorry, I forgot-"
"Healthy and happy, last I remember," Germane assured her. "And in case you were wondering, we have no real idea what determines our... appearances, or genetics. Right now the operating explanations and theories are 'hocus pocus' and 'not a clue', respectively." He tapped the crown of his head. "My hair's definitely not green, otherwise."
Another weird question, really- Dinky had the same shade of unnatural blond as a little girl as she did as a filly, and Pinkie's hair was extremely pink, no matter what.
For a moment, he entertained the image of tiny, indigo and green-maned foals before burying the thought.
Nope, nope, nope.
"How are you dealing with the distance issue?" asked Night, seeming eager to change the topic away from the fact that one, well, two of the ponies at the table were orphaned, one way or the other. "I know Twilight was reluctant to move back to Canterlot, after Princess Celestia assigned her to Ponyville. And I can't imagine that you can move your night court out of the capitol," he added, addressing Luna.
"It's my prerogative to keep my own counsel, when it comes to personal affairs," said Luna. "Given my talents at teleportation, spending time with my courtiers should have no real obstacle. It's out of practicality that the night court has never been as in demand as my sister's- we balance our work loads in other ways." The princess smiled. "And I have been forming some very fond memories of Ponyville, if I say so myself."
'I'm going to have to start keeping my workshop tidy,' thought Germane. 'I don't think we can hoof Spike over to Rarity ever single time we want a moment to ourselves.'
On the other hoof, he was pretty sure he had real counter-tops under his pile of components. That would make for a change of scenery...
"So Luna, Germane? How do you two feel about foals?" asked Velvet. Germane's first thought was, oddly enough, relief.
About time the situation matched his expectations and turned horribly awkward. He was beginning to worry that his worries weren't, in fact, completely justified.
It was late. Twilight finally let her hoof fall from where she'd been waving off the train to Ponyville and turned to Luna.
"Back to the castle?" she asked, and Luna nodded. Twilight relished the weight of the mare's wing draping over her back. It was the kind of thing the girls back home or Cadence did, but with a real element of intimacy, she supposed.
"People are watching," she mumbled, but regretted it when she saw Luna worrying at her lip.
"Does that bother you? I could stop, should you wish. I understand that my sister has maintained a public guise of celibacy, and that the image has bled over to me since my return." She scowled. "There was a time when royalty had fun, you know."
"It's fine, it's fine!" babbled Twilight quickly. "I just need to get used to it. Not the, you know, ponies watching me thing- that's been pretty par for course as Princess Celestia's student. I, um, guess I don't have to point out that you're my first fillyfriend?"
It sounded rather, well, silly to apply that label to a princess, but Luna had seemed so downright pleased with the word that Twilight hadn't seriously considered trying out something else.
"Would you like to go somewhere?" asked Luna. "I would suggest a romantic meal, but I doubt either of us are in a state to stomach more food even for the sake of being awkwardly polite among one another. I'm afraid I still don't know Canterlot as well as I did the old castle- might you have something in mind?"
Twilight flicked an ear as she thought the question over. Goodness knows, even in the middle of his guard training, Shining had gotten out to see the city more than she ever had while she was a student.
"I've never seen the arboretum," she admitted. "It's still early enough in the season that a visit should be worth it." Not that she knew trees, really, despite living in one.
"That sounds lovely," said Luna gratefully. "Tia says you're quite the fan of old Starswirl- would you like to hear some stories about the old stallion?"
It was the most romantic thing that anypony had ever offered Twilight.
"This is a surprise. How's my favorite filly?" asked Germane as he reached the rear of the train car. There weren't any compartments on this one, so spotting the mother and daughter duo on one of the wide benches was easy. Ditzy was in her usual pegasus shape, but apparently the novelty of being bipedal hadn't worn off yet, for Dinky. The eight year-old hopped out of her seat and rushed into the aisle.
"Uncle Germane!" He caught her with a foreleg and a wing as she nuzzled her way into his neck. She weighed about the same as she normally did, so he just hobbled forward on three legs with the other wing stretched out for balance to reach the bench opposite Ditzy.
"How are we holding up?" he asked the mare. She shrugged happily and took another bite of the hayfries she'd apparently been splitting with her daughter.
"She's going to sleep well, tonight," she said, which was answer enough. "So will I, really- I'm just happy that we met Vina coming out of the hall. She was happy to offer to let us bunk with her at the Golden Hooves and saved us an overnight trip back." She coughed delicately. "Also happy that Ash was still in the Griffon territories- some things Dinky doesn't need to be introduced to, yet."
"Dio, dio, ah, dio?" mimed Germane in a scratchy falsetto. Ditzy giggled as Dinky shot rapid, confused looks between the two of them.
"Who's Dio?" she asked.
"A rock musician," supplied Germane, thankful that Vina wasn't around to smack him upside the head. "So, little filly, tell me about your trip to see the princesses."
As Dinky launched into a babbled dialogue about all the events which Germane had already been there to see, Ditzy rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Well, eye, really, since her strabismus was acting up, but Germane caught the gesture and grinned. The little girl talked until her stream of speech was more yawning than actual words, and finally ended up tucked under Germane's wing. He nearly jumped out of his seat when she automatically shifted back into a filly, apparently reaching the time limit. The rapid change in body shape didn't even phase her slumbering self, so he felt content to leave her there.
"Germane? Do you mind if I borrow your ear for a bit?" asked the pegasus across from him.
"Three bits and you've got a deal," he replied. The mare huffed.
"Cute, Craft. Seriously, though." Seeing the distracted expression on her face, he put on his best 'I'm listening and taking this very seriously' look.
"Go right on ahead. Something I can help you with?" he asked, but she shook her head.
"Probably not. But you're my best friend, and I-"
"Just need to get something off of your mind. Go on." Despite the invitation, it took her some time before saying anything.
"It's about Vector." Germane buried his first reaction to her ex-husband's name, which was to rant and suggest violent uses for his brand-new orange candier. "And... Sparkler."
"Oh." But 'Oh, fuck,' was what he didn't add outside of his own head. Ditzy nodded.
"I was thinking, with us being out in the open..."
"You want your other daughter back." He eyed her sternly. "Please tell me that doesn't go double for Vector- Redheart and I offered to come up with some kind of proof, if you thought it would help back when you and he were first having problems. You told me it wouldn't help." Ditzy shrunk inward, slightly.
"I did. And it wouldn't. And... I doubt things could go back to what they were even if I could show I wasn't crazy. I only kept Dinky because I hadn't given birth, yet, and I knew that if I pushed it would turn messy and I'd lose Sparkler anyway. My marriage wasn't worth getting us all in trouble in open court..."
"Sparkler was, though. I don't know if I'd have stopped you if you had," he admitted dourly. Responsibility or not, Ditzy was his first friend after coming forward. Olive had been like a parent, but the young adult of an ex-human down the street had been the one to reassure him that everybody he'd left behind was alright, still. He'd spent as much time reading the alphabet to Dinky as he had soldering his first, clumsy circuit boards.
"I don't doubt that if you wanted her, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on," he said, but Ditzy shook her head in a desperate negative.
"No! He's the only parent she's known for seven years! Vector was always a good parent, Germane."
"Okay, okay. Come with me to see Serving Spoon tomorrow. I know he's usually about business law, but we get along alright- he can point us in the right direction if he can't help personally." Germane leveled a stern glare to make sure his point would get across, and added, "We'll pay with the HA legal fund. Jimminy will pass it through in a hot second, alright? That little girl's one of us, and so are you, and we take care of our own." Ditzy flushed.
"Th-thank you, Germane. I... do you think she's got her cutie mark, yet? Do you... think she remembers me?"
"I doubt she could forget you, Miss Doo," he told her with all sincerity as the train made its way into the dusk.
After a three-hour trip, the train finally pulled into Ponyville station. Germane muzzily shook his head and looked out the window as the brakes finally brought the vehicle to a full stop. There were a lot more ponies out there than an eight o'clock train probably deserved. He sighed.
"Wake up, Ditzy. I think we're about to make a spectacle of ourselves." The grey pegasus shook her mane out of her eyes and blinked against the light of the dim, magical lamps.
"Hmm?" She followed to just where his hoof was pointing and gasped. "Oh my goodness." Her gaze snapped back to Germane. "Um, should we?" Germane set his lips into a thin line and nodded.
"I think we probably should. Don't worry, now. I'm the crazy mad scientist, remember? You're the lovable mail mare." Ditzy snorted.
"The one that once knocked over town hall with her own head, yeah." She glanced up and down the car. "Anybody else from our group come back on this train? Preferably tall and easy to hide behind?"
"Be brave," said Germane. "Worst case scenario, I'll make a distraction fitting for that showmare that came through town a while ago. The Great and Powerful Germane Craft has a nice ring to it." Ditzy huffed.
"Oh, fine." She hopped onto the floor with a slight flare of her wings and triggered her Reflex. Germane did the same and handed over the sleeping filly that had made a tent out of his wing. He felt a little silly that he was still dressed in his Sunday best, but it would have to do. Even Ditzy had taken a moment to smooth out her skirt and tank top before cradling Dinky to her chest.
The stallion-turned-man studiously ignored the blatant stares from the other disembarking passengers and lead the way to the exit.
"Hi Germy how are you is Twilight here and-" Pink! "is my family they came all the way here from the far even though it was in the middle of calcite season which is a really really really big deal and-" More pink! "-planning the biggest get-together-and-or-shindig since Cadence and Shining Armor got hitched and it's going to be great!"
"Hi, Pinkie," said Germane as he patiently waited for his brain to reboot and start processing the other colors of the rainbow. He glanced past the still-hopping mare and saw roughly four dozen ponies gathered at the station. Twilight's other friends, minus Rarity, were there, along a bunch of onlookers. Directly behind Pinkie were five ponies, one of which was an older stallion who was staring at him like he was the second coming of Babe Ruth.
"You would be Mister Pie?" tried Germane tentatively. The stallion nodded slowly and took off his dusty, severe-cut hat.
"That I am. You'd be the inventor and, er..."
"Coordinator, Germane Craft. Formerly of New Hampshire." Mister Pie nodded slowly.
"From Albany, myself. I, well, I hardly believed it when my little girl said what she did, and even after she showed us..." he swallowed. "Helped remind me that she grew up right, really. Can you... that is, Maud and the younger ones were curious about..." The middle-aged fellow seemed to be having trouble with words, so Germane spared him a little bit of mercy.
"The device is with Princess Luna's night court," he said. "Free to use for the public. Twilight Sparkle will be training somepony up to operate it when I'm not there. One of the night guards, if I'm not mistaken, who happens to be in the same boat as us." And hadn't that been a surprise for Luna!
"Thanks, Germy!" said Pinkie, who flung out her -suddenly human- arms to engulf as many of her family members as possible while kneeling. Her mother, Germane guessed, looked on with a reserved expression that nevertheless looked pretty pleased with itself. Mothers were just like that, he supposed, even the quiet ones.
"Coordinator Craft?" A much more recognizable pony had spoken up. The mayor of Ponyville was holding herself with all the dignity that a pony could while speaking over Pinkie-babble. She held out a hoof. Germane ducked down and shook it.
"Madam Mayor. News got out quick, I guess?" She nodded.
"I doubt that there's anywhere in Equestria or the neighboring countries that hasn't heard. I've been told myself to wait for details pending your status as liaison for the crown..." she added leadingly.
"That's up to the other five coordinators," he said. "I doubt things will change, much. It's not like we don't already have the Accord For Sapient Species, and my authority's limited to acting like an over-worked parent, most days." The mayor let out a real grin at that.
"Isn't that always the case? My door's always open, of course."
"As is mine. It's the spooky one that plays awful music every ninety-seven minutes during daylight hours." The mayor huffed.
"Well aware, here, Coordinator Craft. Go on and try not to let the gawking get to you- goodness knows you're not the strangest thing to ever walk these streets."
Germae waved her off with a laugh and wandered back over to Ditzy. The Crusaders plus caretakers were there too, plus Cheerilee as one of Ditzy's neighborhood marefriends. Dinky was sleepily chatting with the fillies who were bragging about having been able to keep a secret for two whole days.
"Ditzy, your eyes! Do humans not have the same medical conditions?" asked Cheerilee curiously.
"They do in some cases," said the woman, "but I don't personally. It would be nice to have the best of both worlds, but I can't exactly fly my mail route like this," she said, pointing toward her wingless shoulder blades.
"Craft," acknowledged Applejack with a tilt of her hat. "Twilight on that train, by any chance?"
"She's spending an extra day with her family," he explained, which seemed to satisfy the farm mare.
"Met the parents, didja?" asked Rainbow Dash with a smirk. "Are they already asking for grandfoals?"
"You and Vinyl checking out adoption agencies for your own pooping bundle of joy?" he shot back, feeling some satisfaction as her eyes shrunk to pinpricks.
"What?!" Scootaloo 'accidentally' bumped into her leg, which by itself had Germane shutting up immediately. The older pegasus looked panicked. "I mean, that's the kind of thing that needs, you know, a lot of deep thinking and stuff, and it's not like were married or anything!" Then, of course, Applejack threw in her own two smug bits and Rainbow Dash turned on her friend to start their usual back-and-forth.
As discretely as possible, Germane ducked down and administered a discrete fist-to-hoof bump with the little filly. Redheart was right- he was basically helpless around fillies. If he really had been a villain, his eventual victory would have probably been eventually overturned by a tyrannical kindergartner, or something.
"Alright, alright, time for bed, y'all. It's still a school night and Cheerilee here'll be expecting you awake and ready ta' learn," said Applejack. It seemed she'd been picked to take the girls while Rarity was out of town, and nobody left out Scootaloo when it came to the other two Crusaders. "You go ahead and come visit tomorrow, Dinky, if your ma says it's alright." The blond woman gave a quick nod as she gathered up the tiny grey unicorn.
"Bye, Dinky!" came a trio of voices. The filly's eyes were hardly open, but she waved back with one tiny hoof.
Still aware of the crowd of onlookers, Germane stood straight and faced the rest of the platform.
"Well you've all heard the news already," he said, adjusting his volume. "We're the big, scary aliens. Anybody looking to bow to your new empress Ditzy, here, can do it while she's on her mail route, tomorrow. The papers tomorrow are going to have a half-dozen interviews already, so if you still have questions, I'm sure you'll find me in the market square tomorrow trying to buy an honest bag of potatoes."
"See you, empress Ditzy!" cracked Rainbow Dash as mother and daughter set off for their street. The woman stuck out her tongue at the weather captain. There was some scattered laughter, and Germane didn't feel like stringing the speedster up like a pinata, for once.
"Right, I'm going to bed," he declared. "Fun fact- Equestria has the finest baked goods on any known planet. See co-empress Pinkie for additional questions." Because the thought was as terrifying as it was hilarious.
He switched back to pony, and began the trek to his nice, soft bed.
The stallion knocked on the door for the fourth time. He traded an awkward look with the three other guardsponies, and wondered if the owner of the house wasn't in. He didn't doubt that they had the right house, given how few of the village's other residences had had massive metal gantries welded to one side, but he hoped he wouldn't have to wait all day on the stoop. The Princess's orders had been vague and open to interpretation.
"Go away! Or come back with coffee!" came a voice through a half-open shutter.
"Is this guy for real?" asked the other solar guard. The first sighed and knocked for a first time.
"Coordinator Germane Craft, we're here on royal orders! Please open the door."
A minute of banging, cursing, and falling noises went on before the door swung inward to reveal a bedraggled face. It squinted out at them and blinked.
"Is... this 'cause I kissed her sister?" The solar guard really wished he had the authority to reprimand the chuckling lunar guard at his back. The stallion in the doorway planted a hoof in his own face and winced.
"Faust take me. I meant- what do you need, officer?"
"I'm Lieutenant Flash Sentry, of Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia's retinue. I'll be your direct link to the dual guard presence of the Everfree Wild Magic Zone, and we'll be at your service for the duration." The stallion seemed to take a while to take this in, before slamming the door. Flash jolted back and was wondering what exactly had gone wrong -and how he was going to explain it- when it opened again and the coordinator stepped out wearing a saddlebag.
"Come on. I get the-" he yawned widely enough to crack his jaw, "-feelin' that things happened and no one told me. We can talk after I get coffee." He peered at the group and pointed. "Those two also- I think they're as tired as I look, about now." Flash tilted his head and noticed that the yawn had proven infectious for the two thestrals.
"If you think that's best, sir," he said. "Ah-"
"Sugarcube Corner, this-a-way. I think I did something hilarious last night, and they have better marigold danishes than Jenny Levy's place." Despite the fact that his new superior was leading the way, Slash found himself pushing the stallion out of the way of obstacles as they approached a massive, heavily-decorated building. His fellow day guard snickered as the coordinator gave a grateful nod.
When they pushed through the door, Flash found himself staring in confusion at a magenta mare wearing a tiara and wearing a nametag that read 'Her Royal Highness of All Territories Baked and Frosted, Co-Empress Pinkamina Diane Pie'. A second tag had to be taped to the end of the first just to fit all of the lettering.
"All hail," said the green-maned stallion. The mare -one of the Bearers of Harmony, if Flash's assignment packet had been accurate- waved a ladle imperiously.
"Hiya, Germy! You're up early! For you, I mean." Flash bristled as a hoof got jerked in their direction by the stallion.
"Their fault. I need to hold some sort of business meeting, I think. Can you bring us a plate of danishes and four coffees off of the restricted menu to the corner table?"
"Right away, Germy! I've been getting so many interesting questions, today!" She leaned in and whispered. Or would have, if she'd actually dropped her voice instead of just speaking around her hoof. "I've decided my empire's official national pastry is blueberry today, since we've got muffins on special."
"Awesome," declared the chuckling stallion as he led the way to the corner table. Flash pulled up a fifth chair for himself.
"Coordinator Craft?" he prompted. Craft sighed.
"Let's assume I wasn't actually able to attend all the policy-making stuff, and you tell me the sorts of things I have to tell you about, alrighty?" While a debriefing hadn't been in the cards before, Flash was happy enough to have more of an idea of what was going on.
"It was sort of done in a hurry," he admitted, "but the gist of the situation is this: A detachment of four guards has been sent to each coordinator to aid in rescue operations for any other new ponies that have, er, 'come forward'?" Craft nodded, so apparently he'd gotten the phrasing right. "Right. We'll be stationed halfway between your own residence and the forest- contractors have already been contacted. We'll be billeted meantime in the Greenbough Inn." Craft hummed.
"That doesn't really happen more than twice a year," he said warningly. "What are you supposed to do in the meantime?"
"Aid in the safety and wellbeing of the townsponies, especially those of the human persuasion. Their Highnesses don't expect trouble from this region in particular from anything outside the Everfree Zone itself, so in all honesty, it'll be up to you. We're essentially staff for an unofficial embassy."
The lieutenant was interrupted by the pink mare, who set down a massive plate of treats and several cups with a boggling display of balance. To his pleasant surprise, Craft brought out a small pile of bits himself and waved him off.
"Here you are, Miss Pie."
"Heh-hem!"
"Your Worshipfulness, I mean," he corrected himself. "How long do you plan on pulling this?" The mare grinned.
"Til the Cakes tell me to knock it off, of course!" With a flourish, she vaulted the counter and activated her Reflex mid-way. She sprung back into view with a chef's hat topped by her tiara.
"What-"
"That's Pinkie," said Craft. "Just tell yourself that, and everything will be okay. Now tuck in- I'd say she puts her blood and tears into her cooking, but the sugar content in her body is probably too high to mix with sweets."
Flash ate, and had to admit that they were really, really good. He'd certainly lucked out, at least as far as getting stationed somewhere with edible food went. Before his current assignment had come through, he'd been marked for a rotation in Stalliongrad. Vodka only did so much to make a place bearable.
"I'm going to take a wild guess and say that the whole 'anonymous in uniform' thing doesn't include names, am I right? Or do I number you guys?" asked Germane. Flash felt suddenly like it was going to be a very long assignment.
"Flash Sentry, Silver Buckle, Oakley Hooves, and Belladonna," he said, gesturing in turn. Germane nodded, then frowned.
"Mmm... enchantments off, please?" That got a couple of uncertain looks, so the coordinator added, "unless poise and danishes go wing in wing." With a sigh, Flash gave a quick signal of confirmation. Two thestrals, a unicorn, and one pegasus in shades of blue, indigo, yellow and black, including his own blue mane and peach coat were left in armor that gleamed just a shade less than they had. Belladonna in particular seemed happy to have her anonymity off.
"Sorry, guys, but if you're going to be running through the forest, you're going to need something more like the tactical gear on the earth pony rangers," explained the coordinator. "I know a seamstress I owe business to, and she does very good work. Also, I don't want you to confuse Simba."
"Who's Simba?" asked Flash, not recognizing the name from anywhere in the briefing packets.
His new boss grinned.
"That's for later. Now I have to go get potatoes. You guys should mingle, even if you don't want to come with", he said and looked at them expectantly.
"Um, dismissed," said Flash.
"And?" Flash sighed at the prompt.
"Stay unclothed or in civies until we get our... new uniforms."
Before the other three could scatter, paper airplanes struck each of them in the head, in turn.
"Lieutenant?" Silver Buckle had already unfolded his. "We just got party invitations."
"Good aim, Your Worshipfulness!" shouted Germane. "Look, guys, your official Ponyville welcome!"
"Pardon me asking," said Flash, "but potatoes?" Germane gave a helpless little shrug.
"I sort of made an appointment." Knowing the town as he did, that was probably more true than he'd guessed. He glanced sidelong at his new... mascot? Personal Assistant? Friend, maybe... Twilight said he should really make more of those. Would he get along with a soldier pony? The guy seemed a bit stiff, but then his assignment probably wasn't just what he'd been expecting, either. Guard work was likely large parts routine, and Ponyville didn't hold too well to that sort of thing.
Germane dimly remembered getting literally levitated back into line during the Winter Wrap-up. In retrospect, Twilight's half-crazed eyes and heaving chest seemed a lot more sexy than they had at the time. She'd learned better about insisting on routine, though that mostly hinged on her development of emergency-routine-deviation checklists.
'Okay, so maybe my fillyfriend is insane.' The thought ought to worry him more, but there were more important things in the present.
"Hey, Mister Sprig," he said as they reached the massive general produce stand at the entrance of the market. Lucky Sprig was the main wagon router for Ponyville's neighbors- aside from running Sweet Apple Acres' and Golden Harvest's crop out, they brought in fresh produce from those other villages and had it there within a day or two of being picked. Ponies took their food very seriously. Dried staples and the like usually came through the general store or Filthy Rich's outlet.
Lucky, though, had the good line on potatoes. Good thing for Germane, since potato fries hadn't caught on in greater Equestria despite four decades of subtle human effort. This, he felt, was a tragedy. Though he'd heard they'd gotten wildly popular among the Saddle Arabians, weirdly enough- he didn't think potatoes grew well, in the desert.
"Morning, Mister Craft. Got some butter yellows in from Limerick Hollow." Germane felt a warm feeling fill his heart.
"If I weren't involved twice over with somebody already, I would be all over you like... like..." Germane frowned. "Flash, give me something sexy."
"What?"
"Like me on a hot 'what'," finished Germane. "No, wait, that doesn't sound right. Flash? You've failed your first assignment." The stallion shook his head, but Germane was almost certain he'd seen a smile.
"Like you on a potato?" asked Lucky with a wry grin.
"You have a filthy and depraved mind, Mister Sprig," said Germane. "But give me a bag of them. I need them for... reasons." He waggled his eyebrows for good measure.
"Not some alien thing, I hope? It could cause a scandal." Still teasing, Germane noted, but with an edge of honest curiosity. Just as well. Luna had been right in that he didn't really have the choice to shy away from his birth form. Lucky him, he had to set an example.
"Take this?" he asked, offering his saddlebag over to Flash. The stallion took it dubiously. Germane hadn't figured out where everything else, such as clothes, went when he triggered the Reflex, but he didn't want to test it on the cherries he'd just bought. The idea of possibly carrying something still-alive inside his own morphic field made him leery, and he wondered if that might not be sort of a perversely intimate way to carry fruit. He switched, and took the bag back from the gobsmacked guardspony.
"Thanks," he said, shouldering the saddlebag. "Also, this is what I look like on two legs." Flash shook his head to clear it.
"Prettier than a diamond dog, I guess."
"That might or might not be the nicest thing I've heard all day. Come on. See you next week, Lucky," said the human, dropping a five-bit piece and tucking away the tubers.
"Um, take care?"
There were a lot more open eyes, this morning. The crowd last night had been rather small, really, and he hadn't known anybody in Canterlot when he and Luna kissed outside...
...probably in front of reporters.
"I just realized something very terrifying," he admitted out loud without breaking stride in the slightest. "I am choosing to ignore it and hope it goes away. Make a note of it, Mister Sentry."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, sir."
"Excellent."
So far his new friend-slash-assistant-slash-mook was working out to be alright, he thought. Twilight seemed to be pretty happy with Spike, but then she'd had the benefit of growing up with and or raising him. It would probably take a bit of extra effort on Germane's part to get the stallion acclimated.
"First thing's first, Mister Sentry. Have you ever been to Ponyville?" The blue-maned pony shook his head while keeping a watchful eye on the curious crowd. "Then I'll give you some perspective. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen?" It took the stallion a few seconds, but he eventually came up with an answer.
"The changeling attack on Canterlot. I thought I was escorting civilians to a shelter and then suddenly they grew fangs and tried to, uh, suck my love out." He shuddered. "Celestia, but that sounds both more and less terrible than it actually was." Germane chuckled.
"Bug monsters attacked you. Got it. Well here, the bug monsters serve tea." It took a moment, but the lieutenant got back up and remembered what order his legs went in after stumbling.
"With all due respect, sir, but huh?" Germane pointed.
"Jenny Levy's Tea House, see?" Sentry nodded uncertainly, and Germane added, "She's a very sweet mare that's very bad at pretending not to be a changeling. Seriously- everybody knows about it, we just don't tell her 'cause it would hurt her feelings. She thinks that the town's a lot bigger on hugs than it really is, and we make sure she doesn't go hungry."
"That's insane!" the guardspony shouted.
"Nah. I heard Miss Rarity checked her out and spread the word, though that's probably because Miss Levy imports that one alpacan tea with the funny name." Germane stopped, then, and crouched in front of the pony to see eye-to-eye. The lieutenant shied away uncertainly, but Germane carefully kept his body language as neutral as possible.
"Ponyville is the closest settlement to a wild magic zone anywhere. Not chaotic magic, but wild- there's a difference. It means weird things happen all the time. It's dangerous as heck, and a lot of ponies and humans you'll never get to meet worked very hard to make it less so. It also means a lot of weird good stuff, and we tend to make sure that it's welcome to stick around."
"Princess Luna returned here, and the Nightmare was banished. Zecora, Olive Branch, the Bearers and Zap Apples and a full quarter of the castle's permanent guard staff, along with the first air balloon from back when this place was a trading post run by the Smiths. Just about every monster imaginable has been driven off or turned good, and evil artifacts smashed or purified. That pink pony who's empress for the day is probably psychic. My point is, just roll with it."
Flash Sentry mulled that over for a minute, skeptical but knowledgeable enough not to dismiss most of it out of hoof.
"Really good tea, huh?"
"It's got this peppery aftertaste with, like, this crazy-sweet tang."
"Mister Craft?" came a voice. "Can I see your mothership?" Germane smiled.
"I love this town."
Scootaloo stared up. And up.
"Gosh, you're tall!"
Vinyl Scratch grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of her head with her paws. Her sunglasses were pushed up to hold back her mane, which was only blue at the tips, for some reason.
"Not really, kiddo. I'm sort of tiny, for a human. You should see Archer- dude's made for basketball." Scootaloo wasn't sure what that meant, really, but all of her foalhood instincts were screaming at her to do one thing.
"Up?" She stretched out her forelegs, coming up to Vinyl's thighs. Rainbow Dash was laughing at something to one side, but she couldn't bring herself to care. To emphasize how very important it was, she made her eyes go big and sad like Apple Bloom did when Big Mac wasn't sure if he really wanted to give her more fritters. Vinyl made a soft monkey noise and bent down.
"Yay!" shouted the filly, way up over the crowd, now. She spread her wings out for balance, and flapped them now and again for pretend.
"Stop laughing, Dash."
"Pfa ha ha!" The coolest pegasus was rolling like she'd heard the funniest thing ever, so Scootaloo laughed too. It probably did look a bit silly. Not that she cared- it was awesome.
"Rainbow Dash, you will stop laughing or you will not be spending the night."
"Are you having a sleepover?" asked Scootaloo. Curious, she leaned over the human mare's head and peered into her face while upside-down. "Can I come?" Vinyl's tiny human eyes narrowed, before brightening.
"Sure, Scoots! You can hang with us the whole time." Rainbow Dash stopped laughing, and Vinyl continued on. "I was going to show off the new bod', but how about we just mess around with my turntables instead? Nice, wholesome entertainment."
"What? But, but Vinyl, babe..."
"Because, Scoots, you can't always get what you want. Especially if you're not nice." The filly frowned, at that.
"I'm nice! I'm so nice your head will flip!" Then she remembered where she was and gently pat the crown of Vinyl's head. "I mean, not now... but it'll flip later!"
"And that's why you get to hang with the coolest mares in town! You can be Rainbow Dash's chaperone."
Scootaloo noticed that Rainbow Dash looked about to cry, which just wouldn't do. She leaned over as far as she dared and waved.
"Do you want to ride her now, too?"
She wasn't quite sure why Vinyl began laughing so hard.
After being led around town for several hours, introduced to a dozen friendly oddities and having had to put up with the crazy alien that was his boss, Flash learned yet another new thing.
Simba was big.
"Sit, sweetie! Good! Tail down... now roll!" The pegasus -who Flash now assumed was thoroughly suicidal- looked back from the edge of the forest with an eager expression. His green mane had been slicked back by manticore slobber to display a thin scar on his forehead.
"Alright, now who wants to feed him his snackies?" the stallion asked the four guards.
Flash watched with horrified fascination as Belladonna squealed and galloped forward toward the bucket of fresh fish. Then the manticore began purring.
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Love the chapter.
"Do you want to ride her now, too?" Oh God!! That was the hardest I've laughed in a long time!
This was a really great chapter. You have a good story here
ehehehe very funny
Put Flash Sentry there is some kind of revenge? XD
And thus the goon squad was born! But I feel that it will be quite fun to see said good squad deal with the crazy.
This whole story is excellent. Your characters are well written, and the dialogue is frequently hilarious. I look forward to seeing what else you'll write.
I know we've brought this up before, but you really need to work on making it clearer who's speaking. But other than that, this was another excellent chapter.
This Jenny Levy character interests me. If you were to write a story about her, I would definitely read it.
These are some insanely positive responses! Still working on speech indicators, since apparently they come out differently in my head than they do on paper. So, sorry, J, still trying!
There are a lot of throw-away references to events and characters that aren't shown, but that's mostly for the sake of world-building.
A lot of that extra stuff is going to go into it's own, without-humans story I'm calling 'carousel', already under construction!
Loved it. Can i feed him too?
It's bootyfull. The back and forth between dash and vi is great.
I for one welcome our new adorable overlord.
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All Hail!
On rereading this I'm wondering why he didn't jump at the Barony. Being called 'von Everfree' is something that would enhance his mad scientist image. Wouldn't it? Maybe if he used a fake German accent? heh, Germane.
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Baron Craft Von Everfree. Beautiful