Her Royal Prerogative
Chapter Five: Her Royal Prerogative
Eight days. Letters had gone out to Frost Wicker, Blueroot, Archer Crass, Jimminy Cricket (some of the ex-humans had no restraint, in Germane's opinion), and Plum Perigee. They were due to arrive tomorrow, Pinkie Pie had promised to hold off on any celebrations until after they'd dealt with business, and Princess Luna was due to arrive in about thirty minutes.
"I think that's just about everything," said Twilight, who was staring intently at a floating list and distractedly twitching a quill in a nimbus of her magical energy. Having her along to make sure he wasn't missing anything (an ever-present worry) was a balm for Germane's nerves. He wrapped a wing around her and tugged her close.
"You are the cleverest, prettiest, most list-makingest mare of all," he mumbled into her neck. He was swatted by a quill for his troubles, but she leaned into him and flicked one of his hindlegs gently with her tail.
I take back everything I said about understanding pony body language, he thought. He was being stupid about things, again, he knew. Though by his count (admittedly biased) they'd been on thirty-seven dates, he wasn't really up-to-date on how fast relationships were supposed to develop, among ponies or otherwise.
"Are we going too fast? Or slow? I'm sort of looking to you for indicators, here," he admitted out loud. She hummed, flatly.
"I think we're going according to the timetable. Unless there are any other sort of last-minute preparations we need made, which would be very irresponsible for you to mention so late in the day," she replied. Germane blinked.
"You... made a timetable? Not that I'm questioning your methods, or anything, but that seems slightly impersonal. Unless it's really important to you, in which case I am completely fine with it," he said.
"Of course I made a timetable! These technically fall into the realm of delicate negotiations, and I want Princess Luna to be able to observe that everything's going according to plan, so that she doesn't have to do more than read the vows. Everything past that would, of course, be at her discretion." Germane felt a few of the gears in his brain grind to a halt.
"You... want Luna to observe. And read the vows. Now I'm going to have to be the one to say that we might be going to fast, Twilight." She looked at him in concern.
"Germane, you've already committed to this! I know it might make you feel uncomfortable, but now's not the time to get cold hooves. Delaying here could have massive impacts for all of society!"
"I think you're putting entirely too much pressure on my maidenhood, here, metaphorically speaking," he replied. Twilight twitched, blankly, in the way she did when re-assessing an experiment for clues or, perhaps, taking another look at a past conversation.
"Oh my goodness you meant... eep!" Her face colored. Then her withers colored. If it were possible, Germane would have laid even odds on her hooves turning red. Though he wasn't likely faring any better, and his pale coat showed color much more easily.
"Uh, do you... want to go faster?" she asked.
"I'm fine with going however you want to go," he assured her. "Really. I'm mostly running off of academic texts, dirty jokes and snark as my guides. I am intensely aware of how little I have to go on. You can consider yourself the sexy teacher, and I'll be your innocent pupil. Your task, in this scenario, is to thoroughly corrupt me."
"I'm the teacher? Celestia's sake, I tried to ask Rarity for advice! She started to... tell me things. Things that I won't soon be able to forget. Are you sure that humans can't give off 'memory rays'?" she asked in a hopeful tone. Germane shook his head.
"Not for lack of trying. It would have been useful, sometimes." He absently drew circles on the floor with his hoof. "Maybe we should, uh, just get a night to ourselves. You know? Go out, have dinner, and just relax in front of the glow of a pair of Tesla coils. We can see what happens after that. And if nothing happens, we can get ourselves another night later on. Um, cool?"
He expected any number of things. Twilight leaning forward, grasping the front of the joint that held his left wing to his body with her mouth and sucking at it hard enough to make his eyes roll was not one of them. Germane cursed his lack of pants and focused on controlling himself.
"Grnk?" Twilight smiled impishly.
"That sounds nice. And that was one of the things Rarity said should wait until... what number date are we on, now?"
"Thir... buh, thirty-seven?"
"And I'm sure at least nine of those actually count in the real world," she mused. "I think that means it's okay to try that other thing she mentioned... Do you have any baby oil?"
Germane was spared a delightful catatonia when there was a knock at the door. He whimpered, slightly, and looked at Twilight imploringly.
"We can't tell them to go away," she admonished. He widened his eyes, slightly. "It's probably the Princess!" His lip trembled.
"Hello? Germane? Twilight? It is me, the princess of the moon! Er... Luna?"
Well, at least she's finally cut down on using our full names. The redundancy is still adorable, though.
"I'll get it," the pegacorn said with a sigh. Not that he was put off by the night alicorn's company (anymore, that is, ever since he'd been convinced he wouldn't be put to death), but it couldn't have killed her to be five minutes later. He wasn't even sure what Twilight had just done, exactly, but the wing she'd just hickied refused to stay down, and every third step he took sort of sent his pace jittering to one side. The unicorn mare at his back was giggling.
Germane opened the door on a eager alicorn.
"Welcome to my home, your highness," he said, stamping his hoof to keep it still.
"Please, Germane, are we not friends? Do call me Luna. Hello, Twilight! How go your efforts at vigorously courting our friend pegacorn?" Germane's leg twitched as he shut the door behind the princess.
"Hello... Luna," said Twilight, forcing off her own compulsion toward deference. "Germane and I are still dating." Luna looked put out by the less-than-enthusiastic response.
"Oh. Well. Have you tried suckling his inner primaries?" She looked, worriedly, at Germane, who'd begun choking on his own tongue. "Now, friend Germane, unicorns have very sensitive necks. There are also a number of-"
"Luna!" The princess looked taken aback.
"Yes, Germane? Am I presuming too much? I apologize if that is true, I am simply 'shipping' the both of you, as Rainbow Dash put it. I am very happy to see you happy, is all."
"We're doing fine," said Twilight. "Just fine. And you might be talking to Rainbow Dash too much. Did she... did she show you her fanfiction?" Luna beamed.
"The adventures of Chromatic Sash and her devoted lover Daring Do are quite entertaining, are they not? I do wonder where she got the idea."
What followed was a long explanation of what, exactly, fanfiction was. Germane unwillingly took the lead on that one, and had to give an abbreviated explanation of the internet. He was pretty sure it would result in another binder added to Twilight's list of questions about Earth. And then Germane had to promise Luna a reproduction of a 'lolcat'. God save his soul.
"So, what say we get to work?" suggested Twilight. Not that there was really any work to be done. It was mostly along the lines of fact-finding, particularly concerning Germane's transformation device. Its very existence defied a lot of what she took as common knowledge, and Luna likely wanted to be able to explain the safety and merits of the procedure to her sister.
To Celestia, to whom Twilight still hadn't told about the humans' existence. It barely eased her mind that Luna had asked to help handle everything before informing Equestria's other diarch.
"Germane, would you mind transforming?" asked Luna as the inventor led the mares out of his living room and, well, honestly just led them thirty feet to where hardwood floor became concrete. His 'work area'. Twilight would have commented, but she herself lived just above her own workplace. And her own living quarters more often than not resembled the library just below.
"I suppose, Luna. Why?" asked the stallion. Twilight watched Luna glance innocently toward the ceiling.
"Oh, for reasons. In the first place, I have only seen one human, and her for only ten minutes. Simple curiosity on my part, perhaps. Also, I would like for you to be comfortable. In very short order, it will do more harm than good for the developer of said procedure to shy from using it, would it not?" Germane nodded slowly.
"I guess that's true," he said, and triggered the change. It was always fascinating to watch, for Twilight. It was odd to see how little changed about him, specifically, between one species and the next. Bipedal instead of quadrupedal, and his mane was dark and curly, but his eyes were the same grey color and his expressions were identical. He was still dressed in his shoddy, homemade clothes. Rarity would have had a fit, but then Twilight knew full well what had happened to his last set.
"Not too strange, I hope," he said, addressing Luna. The alicorn shook her head.
"No, you were quite correct in that I had a certain... inkling as to your true selves after resuming my guardianship of dreams. Many a night was spent scouring the royal libraries for some mention of you, but there was nothing of substance. And what you dream of!" She nudged Twilight. "They have quite varied sexual practices. Very... imaginative."
Twilight did her best to convince herself that the princess was just being friendly in her own awkward way, but couldn't help but reflect on certain suspicions she'd been having. Suspicions that, alarmingly, didn't alarm her very much. If she'd cared to examine her own psyche in detail, she'd probably admit that she saw a kindred soul in the socially inept alicorn. So, instead of making some sort of gentle reminder about proper modern behavior:
"Oh? I admit I had a few pages devoted to asking about certain practices-"
"Hey! Who'd like to look at my equipment?" broke in Germane in an obvious segue. Twilight almost felt sorry for the stallion when she and Luna spontaneously broke into a fit of giggles. Almost.
"Or we could not look at this century's biggest advance in spellcraft," he suggested, red-faced. It was an empty threat, but had the immediate effect of sobering Twilight, if not Luna.
"Yes, do show us your equipment, Germane. I expect to find it impressive," chortled the alicorn. And that set off Twilight again.
"I get it, now," said the human thoughtfully. "I died and went to hell. Hell is getting laughed at by pretty girls. It's remarkably like high school." He glanced around suspiciously. "Am I in high school?" Luna replied by nudging his shoulder with one massive wing. Twilight expected him to fall over, but he just bent in one direction, momentarily, before he was standing straight again. It only made sense that he was well-adapted to the posture, but that reasoning didn't make her any less eager to put him under a high-powered x-ray. For science!
"You did no such thing!" declared Luna. "I should feel quite privileged to meet myself should I die. I would take it as an honor, as should you." And then, to Twilight's surprise, he shoved her back.
"Yes, m'lady. Awfully humbled by yer presence, yer ladyship. May I dare to toil before yer royal personage?" Luna stuck her nose into the air.
"You may, peasant. Bring out your paltry efforts that I may scoff at them." Germane, playing the part of a properly cowed peasant, scuttled off toward a large outlet full of shelves and stacked crates. While he busied himself, Twilight stepped up to Luna's side.
"Er, Princess?" The alicorn glanced down with a small frown.
"Luna, please, Twilight." Twilight nodded.
"Right, sorry Luna." The princess beamed. "I just wanted to say that you've really got the hang of playful teasing," which was a skill that Twilight herself had only picked up through constant exposure to the other girls, "but it might be coming off as a bit more..." she bit her cheek, "flirty, um, toward him than you intended." The princess looked horrified, which instantly had Twilight feeling guilty.
"I do not mean to seem as if I were ignoring you, Twilight, I would just wish to know him better before I court the both of you together. You and I are already close friends, after all."
Twilight nodded, having had everything adequately explained to her complete satisfaction.
Then common sense came into the equation and bucked her in the head.
"You what?!"
"Something wrong, ladies?" Germane had finally set his burden on the floor and begun pushing it on its tiny wheels over to where the two mares had stayed.
"Nothing at all!" Twilight heard a stifled, sad note from the alicorn. "I mean, nothing that can't be discussed later! When we're all... ready to discuss. Things." Luna still looked worried, which was just an odd sight, coming from an immortal ruler with near-godly powers, and Germane looked skeptical, but nobody argued with her panicked assertion.
"Alrighty then," said the stallion. "I'll just get this thing assembled, shall I?" While he went to it, Twilight fell into frantic thought.
The princess, wait, Luna wants to date me! Us! Oh, sweet Celestia- she broke off for a moment and winced. ...Invoking Celestia's name while thinking about that with her sister is... probably not a good thing.
Is this even remotely okay? I mean, she's nice, and clever, and we really get along well, and she's basically beauty made flesh... Twilight swallowed dryly. I am in so far over my head. And Germane! Would he be alright with that? He always seems worried enough just dating one pony to begin with, so what would he begin to think about 'herding up'? It's not exactly common in Ponyville like it is in more cosmopolitan areas. Are humans monogamous, or what? I knew I should have gotten to those questions sooner!
Monogamy wasn't exactly a rule for ponies, per se, and was more or less common depending on the region. She could only imagine her friends' reactions.
How delightfully scandalous!
Ah'm not exactly sure how ta take this.
We can have a 'Congrats-On-Shacking-With-Royalty'-party!
Oh... oh my.
Score. You think her sister would be open to something?
It was probably going to get awkward, and fast. But her brother was already involved with royalty, so it wouldn't be too much of a shock...
"This here is the most important component," started Germane. He'd sunk onto his knees, and had unfolded the main box's innards for the sake of the mares' view. It was a copper wire, lined with silk, and wrapped a few hundred times around a solid quartz cylinder. It was anchored in some sort of metal u-bar. "This, ladies and... er, ladies, is a magical capacitor. Not very advanced, yet, but I have officially opened spellcasting to the remaining two-thirds of the pony population."
"What." It was hard to tell just who had asked... said that. Germane nodded to herself.
"Yup. And since this is an actual invention instead of a reinvention, I've already got the patent requests in, and I can actually keep the credit." He smiled dreamily. "I'm buying an airship. Or maybe a fleet of them. Would either of you like an airship?"
"I... ah, already have one, thank you," said Luna, dazedly. She nudged the little arrangement. "It's an autocast. They are supposed to be much larger than this."
That was the first Twilight had ever heard of an 'autocast'. She caught Luna's attention.
"An autocast?" The alicorn nodded.
"Manehattan's High Energy Magic building has one. It takes in ambient magical energy, and can be triggered to cast through a pre-made spell array. It weighs approximately four tons and tends to randomly transmute nearby pigeons into honeycombs of dubious quality."
"How dubious?" asked Germane.
"They taste like pigeon." Luna shook her head, as if to clear out the thought. "That is entirely beside the point. This will... well, I'm not entirely sure what this will do. I think a fleet of airships may serve as a conservative estimate. Father my children?"
"What?"
"Nothing!" shouted Twilight. She thought frantically for a topic change. "Can you show us the spell?" Germane shot the two mares a confused look, but nodded.
"Of course. Um, for the sake of saving space, I coiled the whole thing in a sheet of insulated lead foil, which is apparently a thing you can do. Has anyone else tried that? It really saves on making chalk diagrams all over the floor, and chalk makes me sneeze, anyway. Plus the coils are compact and transportable. So... here are the spells! I layered them to get the right effect, and this bit over here is held together by some double-sided tape because I couldn't find my soldering gun."
"Father my children."
"What?"
"Nothing!" shouted Luna, nudging Twilight silent.
Dang it. Calm your nerdgasm! the unicorn berated herself, and wished that Pinkie hadn't ever taught her that word.
"...Right," said Germane, suspicious and confused. "Well, my first combination didn't work, nor did the next twelve, so I just started making more arrays. Applying the concept of interchangeable parts to spellwork just made sense, like object-oriented programming. Oh, um, go ahead and put that on your list, I guess. Twilight? Sugarhooves?"
The demonstration was going pretty alright, in Germane's opinion. Sure, Twilight and Luna kept spacing out, and he had the weird suspicion that they were drooling on his components, but they didn't look bored. Probably.
"Ah, Germane? I recognize your base spell," said Luna. "This is a spell used on autopsies, is it not?" Germane nodded and smiled. He hadn't expected anybody to notice it. The spell was pretty obscure, after all.
"It is! Instead of using it to lift magical traces from crime scenes, I used it to suspend the magic in a living body. Anypony with a trace of non-magic morphic resonance has their other field substituted for the first. The transformation isn't even a spell. It's just a reflex that the spell teaches the body. I added the exception for magical fields to make it harmless to any native lifeforms."
"You're using an autopsy spell," repeated Twilight uncertainly. Germane grimaced.
"Maybe we can just not mention that part. It works! If anyone asks, it runs on wishes and the laughter of children. Or something." It made perfect sense to him, at least.
"Probably for the best," admitted the princess. "One cannot argue with the results, in any case. What say we leave the rest for tomorrow?" Germane nodded. It was getting late, and Luna probably had plenty to occupy her time at her night court.
"Of course, Luna. I didn't mean to hold you up. I tend to ramble when it comes to circuitry, as you can..." He glanced down at his thoroughly clothed butt. "As you could see if I were fuzzier. My human form doesn't come with any nifty tattoos, sadly, but I could remedy that." Germane considered the idea. Dying before he could legally go out and get a tattoo had put a dimmer on some, if he said so himself, sweet ideas for body art. Though at least eight years had been time enough to rethink the wizard riding the batmobile into a red dwarf star.
Still, his talent mark was pretty awesome. Like an achievement tag for figuring out his life's passion without changing his college major twelve times.
"Anyway," he said, breaking his own reverie, "Sorry for cutting into your work. Walk you to the door?" The princess, for whatever reason, looked incredibly put-out.
"My apologies, I had thought there would be some manner of 'sleep over'. I, I must have misunderstood. Fare thee well, then." Germane watched and felt an uncomfortable twinge in his side as she turned away.
No, wait, that was Twilight. She was wringing her hooves and looking more anxious than anything. And also elbowing Germane's side.
"Germane!" she hissed.
"Actually, staying over would be... fine?" he tried, and Twilight nodded eagerly. Luna turned and flashed him a shockingly bright smile.
She has a nice smile. Though I feel like I just offered her top slot on the Make-A-Wish list. How isolated do you have to feel to have that kind of gratitude over a sleep over? He considered the question. I'm probably not the right person to be asking that, considering my normal social habits.
Before Twilight stumbled across the last Hominids Anonymous meeting, he spent most of his time working, coordinating his own tiny corner of humanity from a distance, and occasionally (and mostly accidentally) playing the Elemental Bearers' Saturday Morning Villain.
Now he got heated make-outs, and that without the fear of being discovered and dissected. It was a win-win!
And just being able to talk with people... ponies, was worth a hell of a lot. He'd never managed the kind of immersion that he'd always, ironically enough, pushed on his fellow ex-humans.
"Yeah, I've got plenty of room," he added, this time with a little more certainty. He got temporary boarders often enough that he had linens aplenty. Speaking of which...
"Delightful! May we build a 'pillow fort'?"
The ramparts upon the Macintosh Hills had been built with the red stone that made the hills under them so famous. Earth ponies and pegasi alike had patrolled it vigilantly to stave off the wandering griffon bands, and she'd personally held court over a band of unicorn saboteurs which had made the lives of those vagabonds like unto Tartarus.
Not content with merely ordering construction, she had personally walked the scaffolding of the new walls and cast a discerning eye upon every stone.
"The doorway is unsecured."
"Well I can't weld cloth, now, can I?"
Her loyal consorts, too, were hard at work. They had taken on a hooves, and hands, -on approach. The efforts would exhaust them, yes, but once they were done she would take them and bed them vigorously, insuring they would sleep well and deeply.
"I think I can animate the moat. You've got an extra-large couch cushion and some nylon rope, so you can improvise a drawbridge."
"I call this an unfair division of labor. Drawbridges take effort and materials! The portage fees alone..."
And then, come the night, they would rise and languish in silk and warmth. A jester could be brought in to entertain them, and the three would never have to take one step out from under the covers.
"I think Luna's spaced-out again. Give her a poke."
"No, you poke her. I have to calculate the angle on these pulleys. I'm not even sure where I got these things."
"Eep!" And thus Luna found herself prodded out of recollections of a war long past, albeit updated with a new cast of characters. Brought back to the present, she realized with horror that she was falling behind in her pillow fort duties. Then she saw the improvised banner attached to their chair. Their tower, she meant.
"Er, why have we chosen Twilight's cutie mark as our standard flag?" The hastily-scribbled drawing drooped, slightly, on its parchment.
"Because Germane didn't want to be the princess-" there was an audible snort "-and you already have a castle. You may refer to me as Archduchess Sparkle," stated the violet unicorn proudly. The alicorn nodded at that.
"This sounds like a fair proposition." She eyed the construction thus far. "We lack murder-holes. How are we supposed to defend ourselves?"
"With the two strongest mages in Equestria, maybe," suggested Germane. Luna grinned at the compliment. Twilight, though, looked insulted.
"And what will you be doing when the enemy's storming our gates?" she demanded to know. The human stallion rubbed at his chin, thoughtfully.
"Panicking. With my hand on the self-destruct button." Luna giggled.
"The castle has a self-destruct button? Whatever for?"
"I'm a mad scientist, didn't you know? That's what we do. Twilight, tell her," he insisted. The unicorn rolled her eyes.
"Germane's let a few rumors go to his head. If you acknowledge it, you'll just be feeding his delusions." The idea sounded too fun, though, not to go along with.
"How exciting! You are a stallion of many dimensions, Germane. One wonders at what sort of childhood you must have had." The human paused, mid-way through threading his pulley system. Luna could see Twilight paying careful attention. Obviously the topic was of interest to both of them.
"I guess I was just one nerdy little human among many. Sorta chubby? My parents moved a lot for work, and I guess books were easier to carry than friends. I liked taking apart electronics, but it wasn't until I met Olive that I really took it seriously. Before I discovered my special talent, I thought I'd go into software or something, but that was more because I thought I'd design games, or whatever." Germane fiddled with a frayed knot in the rope. "I think I was a pretty happy kid. I had a big brother who put up with me most of the time, even when he really shouldn't have, and my parents were really nice people."
"What about the two of you?" he asked.
Luna listened avidly to Twilight's description of her childhood, of her parents, brother, and foalsitter (now sister-in-law). She had heard it before, given how her sister positively gushed about her student at every opportunity, but the tiny, gleeful embarrassments and the triumphs of a filly as seen through the eyes of a mare had a special, personal sense to them.
Germane made longer and longer pauses between adding increasingly pointless mechanisms to the pillow fort to listen in. Luna had to gently suggest that a functioning plumbing system was likely unnecessary.
Really, he had the same eclectic air as Starswirl the Bearded or Katalina Brightbeam, with an abundance of ideas and a certainty that all of them, including the horribly inane ones, were all good ideas by default. Twilight had, earlier on, pointed out his closet of half-finished toasters. Each was more intricate and detailed than the last, until the later models were things of pure science-fiction that would be too terrible, and too dangerous to ever actually be plugged in.
Luna hoped to browse the closet at some point, herself. Modern appliances were a fun curiosity, and she imagined that Germane's were more curious than most.
Before they could start asking about her own childhood (which would require a good month of Sundays, both for an accurate description and the historical perspective required to understand it), Luna brought up the same thought that had likely been plaguing Twilight.
"Ah, Germane? About the other components of your device-" He grimaced. The action made his narrow, human eyes into dissatisfied slits, and crinkled his protruding nose. Luna wanted to poke at it.
"I... get from your reactions that some of the, um, techniques could be pretty groundbreaking. But I don't want to patent methods. I'll claim credit for the capacitor, but that's because it's mine. I came up with it using human techniques, but the result came from my work. The other components are essentially pony-developed with a funny twist to them. I'm just going to publish through the HAC and let the universities dissect it for goodies."
"The HAC?" It was definitely a familiar name to the alicorn, but she wanted to be certain.
"Hominids Anonymous Coalition. It's got another name on paper, but I keep forgetting it. They release harmless stuff, a little bit at a time, and all the 'general knowledge' inventions get patented to feed a fund that helps newbies adjust. Frost Wicker and Plum Perigee run it. I passed on some stuff about noble gasses I picked up when I was fifteen a while back, and some stuff on circuitry last year."
"And here I thought you never published your works," said Twilight. "You know, that made me incredibly suspicious." Germane sighed.
"Yeah. I hadn't considered that angle until just recently. The two coordinators running the HAC would have probably been fine with me claiming a couple of small things, being reasonable, but I just didn't think of it."
"What would... not-so-harmless 'stuff' include?" asked Luna with a niggling suspicion. Germane froze up completely.
"Germane?" prompted Twilight. The unicorn, concerned at his lack of response, trotted up to her stallionfriend. Luna, too, looked on with concern. The human glanced uncertainly between the two of them. He swallowed dryly.
"Some of our tech... is dangerous. I mean, hammers can be dangerous, but they aren't made to..." he chewed at his lip, "...hurt people. Not really. A lot of tech is just the result of, um, conflict and the scientific one-upmanship that happens during that. Then, when the... conflict is over with, that tech gets put toward new use during peacetime. We're sort of introducing all of the end results without all of the in-between bits. Clean power without the pollution. Material science without the toxic impact. And we leave the weapons out."
"What kind of weapons?" asked Luna, completely in-line with the fact that she'd served as a general in wartime as often as she'd been a ruler in peacetime. Even if the last time she'd held such a position had been under the bloody reign of Nightmare Moon.
"No. Nuh-uh. To describe them would be as good as to create them, in some cases," he insisted. "Even the ones that can't be puzzled out through context are not the kind of things that anybody need even consider."
It was Luna, who did in fact have knowledge of the many ways humans could and did die, it being a common facet of hundreds of nightmares, who ended up capitulating first. However...
"Even defensive technologies?" she asked. That brought Germane up short.
"Without the other coordinators here-"
"They'll be here tomorrow," piped in Twilight. "You probably already have a couple idea, right?" Germane glanced nervously between the two mares.
"I might have a few, maybe. Or if I had five minutes and some scrap paper. Now please hold off on asking until I don't feel like Plum Perigee's going to jump out at me from a closet or something? Please?"
"Sure thing, Germane." Twilight visibly fought down the desire to question him endlessly, which was as sure a sign of love as Luna could have imagined from the unicorn, and kissed the kneeling figure. He seemed to instinctively tilt his head, which fascinated the princess until she finally puzzled that one out.
Noses! It stops their noses from getting in the way of each other. Adorable.
She was swamped with equal sensations of both warmth and longing at the sight. In all honesty, she hadn't felt such a feeling since Katalina Brightbeam's passing, which only went to show that she definitely had a 'type' when it came to romantic pursuit. Unlike her sister and her love of born-comedians and daredevils.
Tia's young dragon paramour just a century after Discord's reign, for instance. The one that published three books of dirty folk songs.
So many verses that rhymed with 'quivering loins'...
When Twilight broke away and left Germane with a goofy grin, Luna cleared her throat to gain their attention.
"I believe a common sleepover activity is 'story-telling', is it not? We should retreat into our fortress and make merriment." She grinned, and Twilight went wide-eyed. The human returned a much more innocent smile.
"I've got one. It's called 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'."
"What is it about?" Germane's grin widened.
"A human boy who discovers he can do magic."
They had shown up as a group. Germane was the youngest of the six coordinators, and despite his clear record of success as the watchful eye of Equestria's most dangerous wild magic zone, he couldn't help but feel a little intimidated in the others' presence. Especially-
"I brought tea cakes."
"Gah!"
He's known they were all in his home, had been intensely aware of the presence of the other five coordinators, and still had managed to be terrified by the quietest thing on four hooves. Plum Perigee smiled enigmatically.
"Not to disparage the selection of foods you have provided, of course, young Craft. But our guests should surely appreciate them." Germane's brow furrowed.
"Guests?" He already had guests, and the ex-humans were otherwise alone in the house. The teal unicorn didn't visibly react to his confusion.
"The one, perhaps more, who shall shortly be arriving. After you 'ease us in' to the idea, of course." Germane suddenly felt very young.
"You... know?" He glanced past her to the other ponies relaxing in his kitchen. She moved to regain his attention.
"Just myself and Jimminy, currently. News travels quickly for those who know how to listen. You've handled things well, I hope?" Germane nodded with a kind of frantic desperation. Perigee's smile didn't change, but looked a fraction more smug, to him. "As I have come to expect from you, young Craft. I've also heard of your latest discovery. I assume we're to be the next to gain the... reflex. I do so look forward to doing proper tai chi, again." And like that, she turned and walked languidly back toward the others. Germane stared.
How the hell how the hell how the hell?!
They were pretty typical thoughts to have, after dealing with Plum in any capacity. She was like the bastard offspring of Charles Xavier and Bruce Lee. And maybe Morticia Addams.
Germane steeled himself, grit his teeth, and followed her over. Time to let a lonely corner of humanity that the world had changed, again. Though in a slightly less literal sense, this time.
"Alright, everybody," he started, slipping into more comfortable pronouns like he tended to do around those in the know, "Now that we're settled, let's get straight into the heart of the matter. I've got news that couldn't wait until the next meeting. A lot of news, actually." He sat in the only open chair left at the kitchen table, and was gratified when the others settled down to pay attention. Even if Frost Wicker had to receive a quick wing to the head courtesy of Archer Crass to actually shut up.
"It's good news," he said. "Regardless of what you think my news means, there is not, in fact, any sort of emergency. I've already panicked enough for the lot of us, so save the moaning and pants-wetting until after you eventually get home to your own beds."
"Thank goodness I'm not wearing pants," broke in Blueroot. "That might've been embarrassing, eh?" There were a couple of snickers.
"Too true. Now, keeping in mind that there is no reason to panic," Germane reminded them, "we've been made. We've been made for about a year, now. In the interests of harmony and all that good stuff, I've invited Princess Luna to meet us here so we can all be friendly and not panic!" he said, raising his voice at the end in a way he seldom did to cut off the worried or angry chatter.
"She's the patron of dreams, people! What do you think a bunch of humans would have been dreaming about in the years since she's been back?" For any number of reasons, that last question was plenty to quiet the coordinators. Though Plum and Jimminy were notably less loud about it in the first place. Plum was just dunking her cakes into a mug of tea and looking for all the world like she was enjoying the show.
"I've already talked with her personally," Germane added quickly. "Her first action when she arrived actually, honestly surprised the living hell out of me."
"Out with it. What did she do?" asked Archer. He was listening, but also obviously eyeing the exits.
"She made me a citizen," replied Germane. "With all those happy little inalienable rights that come with that." The mood at the table went straight to shock. Even the two who'd already known about what was coming were dead silent. "I'm not saying it will be easy, but we can live out in the open now. It can't be that much harder than lying all the time, can it?" Thankfully, it was Jimminy who spoke up next. By the time he'd voiced his thoughts, Plum had recovered from her brief look of shock and had gone back to smiling.
"Show us what you mean by living out in the open, Ger," he suggested. Regardless of how unsettled he'd looked at Germane's announcement, even after having heard of it before by second hand accounts, his eyes betrayed an eager spark.
Germane folded his hooves neatly under his chin, tucked in his wings, and shifted. An instant later, he was in the exact same pose except this time his hairless chin was resting on folded hands.
"I mean this."
There were more explanations. The difference being that, unlike with his previous audience of local ex-humans, Plum and Frost both asked technical questions to double-check his work. Germane did his best not to bristle at the implication, since they were only being sensibly cautious. Still, he'd tested the damn thing on himself and he hadn't exploded yet!
As he moved to set up the equipment though, he cut off the group's excited babble by announcing their guests.
"We've got a couple of observers for this," he warned them. "Blueroot, you're closest to the door. Can you open it and wave?" The earth pony uncertainly did just that, and backed up frantically as seven more ponies crowded in. Germane had referred to them as character witnesses the night before, which wasn't totally far from the truth.
"About time," declared Rainbow Dash. "Let's let the parade of monkey-folk begin!"
"Humans, Dash," corrected Fluttershy. The animal expert wasn't firm about much, to Germane's knowledge, but animal taxonomy was apparently one of those things. "Twilight, um, explained everything, already, right?"
"At great length, an' in a lot o' detail," agreed Applejack. She offered a smile at the violet unicorn to show no hard feelings. Twilight smiled back and shrugged.
"What can I say? It's all very fascinating. Right, girls?" Pinkie bounced in next to Rarity, nodding frantically. All of them sans Rainbow Dash and Twilight started staring at Germane as soon as they caught sight of them.
"Hello," he offered. Rarity glared.
"What is that?" The question was met with several gasps.
"Rarity!" Twilight looked horrified. The other unicorn's expression didn't change at all.
"It's hideous! I'm, I'm sorry, but just look at the thing!" She pointed dramatically at Germane. "It looks like it was sewn out of a camping tent!"
"What?" Germane glanced down and, with dawning awareness, took in his simple shirt and trousers. Belt loops had turned out to be beyond his expertise, so the lower garment was mostly held up with a length of drawn string. "Well, clothes aren't exactly my specialty," he admitted grudgingly. Most of the rest of the assembled Bearers of Harmony groaned in realization.
"Why are you even wearing those?" asked Rarity in horror. "Better to just go nude then suffer the indignity." Germane reddened as Plum, Frost, and Archer started snickering. Obviously they were the first to realize that the 'newbie' had just been drafted to explain a certain, crucial cultural difference. One which even Twilight hadn't yet asked him about.
"For... various reasons, humans have a cultural taboo against nudity, Miss Rarity. Going naked is not an option, ever, unless we're performing basic hygiene, making love, or happen to take a dare while black-out drunk. That is not negotiable, so I'm just sorry if I offend." The reactions he received ran the gamut from lecherous grins to incoherent stammering, but Rarity just looked thoughtful. "I couldn't exactly go out and purchase clothes when I wasn't trying to advertise that I needed them."
"A proper seamstress could have practiced discretion, my dear," declared the unicorn with some pride. Her expression turned sharp and sly. "Around two-hundred of your... people, did you say?"
"Roughly," he answered.
"All of them requiring unique clothing?"
"Er, yes?" For some reason, Applejack broke into laughter. Rarity shot her a look, then stepped around Germane to be able to look at all six assembled humans-turned-ponies. She smiled beatifically.
"We are all going to be the very best of friends!"
"That is quite fascinating, friend Rarity, but perhaps we should get to the purpose of this little gathering," came the final expected voice from the doorway. Twilight and her friends walked further into the room to let Luna inside. The alicorn grinned. "Hello, Germane. Would you please introduce me?"
The formalities had been mostly taken care of, though Germane's fellow coordinators still eyed the princess nervously from time to time. The musical overture as they were sworn in would have been downright sweet, thought Twilight, if Pinkie hadn't played it with a kazoo. Or forgotten the second half of the national anthem and just proceeded to play the chorus of 'Equestrian Girls' on repeat.
"We're ready," said Germane. Then he shook his head. "I mean, are you ready?"
"Do get on with it," said Archer. "I need to be back by Tuesday. The foals will be back from camp, by then."
"That's four now, right?" asked Blueroot. "I'd joke about you stopping after Misty, but then I wouldn't have Swan sending me crayon drawings of 'splojins an firewerks'," he said with a grin. "Still, four is probably enough, man." Archer rolled his eyes.
"Wednesday wants another girl. I'm really, really trying to talk her down." Then he noticed the royalty and gathered national heroes again, and then the beige fur of his face turned a darker color. "I mean let's get on with. Now. Before I start blathering on again like the old stallion I am."
"Not a problem. Into the circle, everybody. You may see your life flash before your eyes. You may see the entire nine hours of the 'Lord of the Rings' movies instead. I think that might be a glitch," joked Germane as they grumbled and got into the circle. He glanced over at the others. Twilight didn't even get the reference, and she still managed to roll her eyes. Of course, that only seemed to encourage him.
"Anypony else want to see it up close? It's harmless." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and jumped among the coordinators with a flash of her wings. Pinkie jumped in without the aid of wing power and grinned conspiratorially at the group.
"Beam me up!" she exclaimed, drawing shocked looks from most of the humans. Germane managed, with effort, to ignore it. For obvious reasons, mused Twilight, Germane wasn't quite as immune to Pinkie's oddness as she and the girls were. Insofar as anypony could be 'immune' to Pinkie. He set himself at the device, double-checked the settings, and motioned Twilight over.
"You know," he whispered with his hand on the trigger, "I swear I heard her quoting the Doctor last week."
"Doctor who?" she asked. Germane grinned stupidly. Then he fired.
The flash was something like from a photo bulb, and aside from some blinking on the part of Dash and the coordinators (Pinkie's pupils just shrunk to invisibility, but her eyes were open the entire time, which unsettled Twilight just a bit).
"Is that it?" asked Frost.
"Try it out."
Within seconds, six human beings stood next to Rainbow Dash. Twilight watched with some wonder as, like the last time, several adults began acting like foals who'd just earned their cutie marks.
And then something struck her as being off.
And she counted again.
Ah, that's where I was off, thought Twilight. There's an extra, pink-haired human right where Pinkie was stand-Oh-Sweet-Celestia!
"What?" she asked, though it came out as a chorus. Germane fell to his rear.
"Um, Pinkie? Pinkie!" The woman was staring down at herself with wide-eyes, for once looking more surprised than anypony else in the room. Wide, blue eyes snapped up.
"Y...yes, Germy?" Twilight watched with concern as Germane forcibly calmed his breathing with a technique she had taught him herself.
"I don't suppose you've secretly been a human all along?" The very naked (and they did look a lot more naked than ponies did, Twilight noted with a sort of strangled thought) woman shook her head wildly.
"Nope! No. Um, am I going to be okay?" She looked honestly uncertain. It was unsettling to see that coming from Pinkie.
"Don't be crazy, girl. Humanity's not some sort of STD," scolded Jimminy. Germane visibly twitched next to Twilight. The unicorn looked at the wondering expression on his face, and then the thought that had probably hit him hit her too.
"Pinkie? This might be a weird question, but was your father... where was he born?"
Now, Pinkie wasn't necessarily the sharpest tool in the box (except when she was), but she was a champion at odd, intuitive leaps. Her eyes went even wider.
"He said Manehattan, but he always said it funny. Is 'Manhattan' a human place?"
"Holy crap, it's heritable." Twilight figured that, were he not already sitting down, Germane would have had to sit down.
"Welcome to the club, dear," said Plum, who gave the new human a quick hug.
It felt a bit callous, Luna had to admit, to experience a brief surge in satisfaction at the realization that one of the Bearers also had a human form. Quiet coexistence was one thing, but a national heroine being counted among the 'new' species? It was a preemptive coup in public relations. And, after the shock had worn off and Rarity had improvised a toga for the girl, Pinkie seemed to take to the idea.
"It's like I'm still soft, but a different kind of soft! Whup!" Germane, Rainbow Dash and the human know as Frost grabbed up the young mare's flailing arms as she stumbled over her legs for the twelfth time.
"Come on, Miss Pie, remember that you have to forget!" Luna was well-versed in polymorphic magics, as well as the instinctive body movements that resulted from it, but putting that into practice could sometimes be a bit... funny.
"Right! Can do. I'm the very best at forgetting." Plum, who as a human had long, straight, black hair and an indefinite sense of age, pat Pinkie's arm gently.
"I hear you are a confectioner, Pinkie Pie. I have some tea cakes that, while not especially sweet, are an old recipe of my mother's. Would you like to bring them into the main room?" And then Pinkie was gone. Luna blinked.
"Thefe r' dewifious!" announced the pink-haired woman from the kitchen doorway. She had one of the cakes stuffed into her mouth, and the tray-full of remaining treats were balanced in her other hand.
"How-" started Frost, but Twilight spoke up.
"I'm going to do you a favor and say this: Don't ask if you value your sanity."
Archer and Blueroot were grumbling good-naturedly from the couch, where Fluttershy was gently poking at the ligaments behind their knees.
"If you, um, wouldn't mind, please, could you please arch your ankle?" Blueroot did so, and rolled up one leg of his jeans to show the musculature and thin coat of dark hair.
"You realize we have put together a few books on this? I could easily loan them to you," he suggested. Then he froze as Fluttershy glanced up with wide, sad eyes.
"I'm so sorry! It's just, I don't have those books now, and this is all so fascinating, and my, I mean, I-"
"It's fine! Go ahead!" squeaked Blueroot. Archer chuckled until Fluttershy turned her soulful gaze on him, next.
Luna grinned, then wandered over to where her future (hopefully) beaus were chatting with each other.
"Of course some slipped through. It's not impossible one or two managed to figure things out for themselves, and I'm sure Miss Pie would like to speak to her father in the near future. I think their family farm is somewhere by Wicker's territory, so he can deal with it."
"Well," replied Twilight, "It opens up some interesting questions. Some sort of accurate census will have to be compiled. Tracking down any human-descendants and offering use of the transformation spell, at the very least." Germane nodded, gazing intently at the small, but rapidly growing list in front of Twilight.
"Especially if the reflex itself is somehow heritable. There won't be any way to check for a long time, but if parents are already passing down their morphic fields..." With a quick jerk of his head, he noticed Luna's approach.
"Hi, Luna. We really should have your input on this. I was thinking of offering the device to the Night Court, since we'll have the majority of the remaining humans petitioning you for citizenship. And Canterlot is much more easily accessible than Ponyville."
"That sounds like a... lovely idea," replied the princess. She was honestly touched at the level of trust in his offer, and in his assumption that he'd be passing over one of his most hard-wrought accomplishments to date as a matter of course. Feeling bold, she nuzzled first him, then Twilight.
"I will endeavor to not disappoint. Can I count on you to accompany me to Canterlot for some days to help arrange things? Anypony else is, of course, also invited along."
"Absolutely!" said Germane. Nuzzling back with a shortened neck and differently-angled shoulders was likely a bit strange to accomplish, but he definitely managed well enough. Twilight did so as well, but with a distinctly... not embarrassed, but panicked, look. But to Luna's delight, Twilight held the contact for just a second longer than she herself did. A clear and much-appreciated sign.
"Of course, Luna," the unicorn said.
"I will see you in five days' time, then?" The alicorn looked back to the rest of the room's occupants. "Any coordinators, too, who wish to come will find accommodations at the castle. I myself should be returning post-haste. So long, all!"
The princess had left, and Germane became uncomfortably aware that he was receiving a number of stares. He and Twilight both, actually.
"What?" There were a couple of muffled laughs. "No, seriously, what's wrong?" Twilight nudged his hip and gestured toward the kitchen in what she seemed to think was a discrete manner.
"You are all just, so... so adorable!" Rarity locked eyes with Twilight. "Book number five, dear!" The unicorn at Germane's side groaned.
"I... suppose we are?" said Germane uncertainly, trailing into a question. He glanced down at his marefriend. "Twilight, are we adorable?" The unicorn had apparently gone flustered enough to forget that she had magic, and just grasped Germane's hand with her mouth as she dragged him toward the kitchen.
"Geff ofer heref!" She mumbled. Her lips tickled, and Germane had to fight back the urge to jerk the fingers back. On the other hand (literally, ha!), Twilight was chewing on his fingers. The human wasn't sure if he should discourage this sort of behavior or not.
"Back in a moment," he called back to the small crowd.
In the kitchen, and in something resembling privacy, Twilight let go and began pacing. Every other second, she'd glance at Germane with a conflicted expression. Occasionally she would mutter, sub-audibly.
"Twilight? You're freaking me out. Give me some rope, here, if I'm going to be hanging myself." She looked up in shock. "Sorry, human expression. A pretty grim one, I'll admit." He gave a crooked, and hopefully disarming grin. "Also called gallows humor, appropriately enough." The unicorn shook her head.
"That's not even the topic at hoof," she said. "Um, look. Has Luna... did she seem to be a bit friendlier than... has she seemed very friendly?"
"Very," Germane shrugged. "You girls are close, right? I'm just happy she didn't seem to disapprove of me for being with her best friend." Twilight's eye twitched, just slightly. Probably a bad sign, but of what, he couldn't tell.
"That is the exact opposite of what is happening here. Germane, you cannot be that oblivious." Probabilities ticked over in the human's brain. Written on paper, it might look something like so:
A + (B/C) x D = Ohmygodwhyisaprincessdoingthat?
Survival instinct kicked in, and lacking a convenient smoke bomb, course of action number two went into play. Germane dropped to his knees and placed two comforting (he hoped) hands on Twilight's withers.
"I had absolutely no idea and I am so sorry that-" And then he wasn't talking, because his mouth was otherwise occupied.
Not what I was expecting, he admitted to himself, and considered his next step. Roll with it.
"Germane, she's flirting with both of us," she muttered against his lips.
"What?" At that, the devilish unicorn actually smiled.
"Like in 'The Archer's Dilemma'," she said. "You know, the one you've borrowed from the library twelve times? With the automatons and aero-city? Like the scenes with Willow, Clank and Quartz?"
"Oh." Introversion, it seemed, had struck again. "What do you think we should... do about this, then?"
"No. I want to hear your thoughts. I never imagined being the one to take the lead in this, um, sort of thing, but I am not going to let you just 'be along for the ride'. My parents taught me a little better than that, Germane."
The human tried to put his thoughts into some semblance of a reasonable answer, feeling vaguely aware that relationships weren't, by their very nature, entirely reasonable things. He considered what his own parents might have said.
"Go for it, son. Romance demands sacrifice, and if that means dating two pretty women, then you'll just have to suck it up!"
"Why are you a tiny horse? Are they tiny horses, too? More importantly, when am I going to see grandchildren? Your brother's already with that nice young orthodontist."
Germane wasn't sure how helpful that was supposed to have been. Still, honesty was probably the best, if not most painless, thing for it.
"She's fun. I like her. I'm not sure if I like her like I like you-" Twilight rolled her eyes.
"I asked you out on our first date to mess with your head, and you did the same thing right back. Luna hasn't gone as far, and she's still doing better than either of us." She huffed. "I had an orderly timeline, you know. It's not like I'm entirely..." her gaze lost focus.
"Now there's an idea!"
"What? What's an idea?" asked Germane. Twilight beamed.
"We can get right back on track, now! After we take care of all of the official business, we can invite Luna to my parents' house! Can you wear something nice? For both forms? It depends on the exact kind of impression we want to give, but-"
This is all going to end in tears, Germane thought as his marefriend began composing plans in excruciating detail.
Plans had been made. Some of them had, in fact, not involved his love life. Germane caught Archer by the door, after the humans (Pinkie included) had shifted back.
"Mind if we talked for a minute? Your train's not in for another hour, right?" Archer looked at him in quick contemplation, and gave a curt nod.
"Sure thing, kid." Germane chose to ignore the 'kid' comment. "I'll be in your kitchen. Say good bye to the little lady."
As Archer trotted off, Germane turned to said 'little lady'.
"I've got to go grab Spike from Sweet Apple Acres," she said. "See you tonight?" Germane grinned.
"Absolutely. Around seven? I'll grab take-out. Does Spike like Bitallion?"
"I can sprinkle some ruby dust on it with the parmesan," she said agreeably. "See you then." They had a quick, parting kiss. Germane drew his wing along her neck, just under her mane, and she shivered pleasantly.
He closed the door just as the other Bearers dog-piled her in the street, which he told himself was normal and not at all worrying.
Archer was chewing on one of the pressed alfalfa cakes that Germane hadn't put away, yet. The pegacorn joined him at the table.
"You know," the older stallion said, "I tried these as a human, a little bit ago. Nearly gagged. This reflex is going to, pardon my wording, require learning some new reflexes."
"Probably," agreed Germane. Unlike a certain Alabaman earth pony, not every human-turned-herbivore could learn to love the taste of bacon in either form.
"I just wanted to, um, ask you about something you have, uh, more experience in." Archer fluttered his wings thoughtfully.
"Ah. Well, son, the birds and the bees are a relatively straight-forward thing, most of the time-"
"No!" Germane cut him off. "I get that. Really, I do." Theoretically. "I mean, more, the relationship side of things. You're in a... a herd, right?" Archer nodded.
"Wednesday, Sander, and Holly. Happiest I've ever been, to be honest." He coughed, gently. "It's fairly common around Fillydelphia. Never thought I'd be married to a fellow, to be sure, but Sander meshes as good with the girls as I do, and they were all very understanding of my past." He grinned. "Holly's gonna go nuts when I show her the reflex."
"And that's just great," said Germane quickly. "But how does it work? I mean, say you're dating somebody and somebody else comes up and says, or really implies, that they want to date the both of you. Are there... books on it, maybe?" Archer froze. Then snorted. Then collapsed into laughter. Germane didn't find himself put at ease by that.
"Oh boy, this is going to be a toughy. No, kid, I mean there are, but romance is like sky-diving. Best not to learn it from a book. Look, I'll share a couple quick stories, alright?"
So Germane listened, and learned, and tried very hard to keep his composure and not end up resembling a tomato.
Omake: Back At The Castle
"Are you sure this won't interfere with your royal duties?" asked Germane in his thoughtful way as they began gathering pillows for the fort.
"Of course not, Germane," Luna assured him. "I have made arrangements. Could you grab me that blanket over there?" He turned and leaned over, reaching next to the couch for a blue bundle. "No," said Luna. "The other one."
"I don't see any other one," he called back. Luna eyed his bent-over form and licked her lips.
"Keep looking, you will find it!"
Huzzah!
Two members of Princess Luna's Night Guard stood stoic watch in her throne room. The night court was in session, and they would keep order come hell or high water.
Case in point, the complainant in the front of the line. He looked from the guards and their complete lack of reaction, to the throne, and back again.
"Er, if the princess isn't here, I can simply come and try again later," he tried. The left guard glowered.
"The throne is clearly occupied and you are wasting this court's time. You will state your case or be held in contempt of Her Royal Highness's grace. If you are unwilling to speak before her after demanding her valuable time, you will not be allowed to plead in either the Night or Day courts again." And then he was back to silent composure.
Unsettled and by this point nearly frantic, the noblepony waxed eloquent about his plea, decried several portions of tax law which were preventing him from expanding his residence, and referenced previous judgments as precedents. He began to sweat as no reply was forthcoming. Desperately, he looked again to the guards, but no help was to be found from them either. He looked back to the throne. No response. Sweat poured down his face.
Finally, the second guard slammed the pommel of his spear into the marble floor, nearly scaring the piss out of the complainant.
"You have received the decision of Her Highness. Failure to abide by this judgment will be dealt with by means of the harshest possible penalties. You may now leave. Immediately."
Confused and terrified, and not entirely certain what he was supposed to do, the stallion stumbled back and ran out of the hall, just in time to pass the next pony in line. As that mare approached, the second guard straightened up.
Smiling now would be bad form. Looking over far enough to meet the other guard's eyes would have prompted an eruption of all of their barely-contained laughter, which would also be bad form.
Between them, upon a carved, onyx throne, a blue alicorn plushy tied to an abacus sat upon the chair of her domain, and stared upon the approaching pony with unblinking, implacable button eyes.
The approaching unicorn glanced away first.
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I didn't know that Germane could do that type of transformation too!
-Twilight and Germane's misunderstood conversation.
-Rainbow Dash's fanfic.
-Hypothetical Rainbow Dash's reaction to Luna hooking up with Twilight and Germane.
-The pillow fort.
-Everything Luna did in this chapter.
-Probably a dozen other things I could list.
This chapter was hilarious.
Pinkie inheriting her father's humanity is definitely interesting. It makes me wonder about a few things. Like, did Pinkie pick up her human pop-culture references from her father? And more importantly, just how many ponies are part human? If the traces of humanity that let Germane's device work only last for a generation or two, then that's probably only a few hundred extra. But if it lasts indefinitely, and any pony with a human ancestor can become a human, then depending on how long humans have been showing up (I can't remember if you've said anything about when they first started to appear), there could be an enormous number of potential humans.
Also, why did they ask where Pinkie's father was from instead of both of her parents? Do they already know that her mother was born a pony somehow?
Oh dear God, the omake was made out of pure gold, and maybe bacon
The chapter itself was really entertaining as well, I do really enjoy the story a lot.
I have to say, I love the reactions!
About that typo- no unexplained gender-bending in this story. As funny as re-writing Ranma 1/2 with ponies would be... I already have an outline for the next project. It'll be an epic of secondary characters and hidden adventure.
Remember, the human phenomenon has only been going on for about eighty-odd years. The interlude showed Olive as he was when he was first setting up Hominids Anonymous. We're looking at second-generation immigrants at the furthest, really.
This is really a comedy first- I wanted a bunch of nerds to act all awkwardly sexy around each other while the rest of the series goes relatively canon. The human elements only highlight what the main cast has already done, without taking away credit for the Elements' achievements. No Marty Stu/Mary Sue characters stepping in.
Heck, Germane's a sort of joke take on OC alicorns- the shape was a birth defect. Even without really having been born there, certain humans such as he and Derpy find themselves dealing with the kinds of problems that plague some families.
Some of you might be wondering about the human myths and such. Hopefully, I'll catch you all off-guard when it comes to the big, sad reveal. The sadness will be dealt with by sheer sexy.
Quick request- can anybody out there with a good eye draw a cover with a sketch by me as a guideline? I'll trade one full-length omake chapter on the topic of your choice!
I enjoyed the "Father my Children" line from both Luna and Twilight.
My God I'm dying, this is great. Luna's funny in her pursuit, and Pinkie... It explains her references. She may not understand them, but she's heard them from another.
4944808
Hi, can't promise it would be amazing, but give me a sketch and a thorough description and I could put together a nice drawing for you. It would give me an excuse to draw ponies. Would you prefer traditional illustration or digital?
Also, if it's not too spoilery, I'd love to know what Celestia has been up to or maybe one of the other Mane Six' perspective Germane's antics. I love your writing enough I'd do this for giggles, just message me if interested.
This chapter... I can't really write a comment to adequately express all the ways I love this story. I do have to say, these 200-odd humans appear to have accomplished a remarkable number of things. Then again, I bet humans with a pre-education who then went on to receive magical 'talent marks' (why have I not seen that alternative in a story before?) would be formidably capable individuals.
I keep reading these lines in the Tesla twins voices from bioshock infinite.