Grand Designs
Chapter XX. – Grand Designs
Awareness seized the lover’s sight as they stopped, suddenly, at the front gates of Canterlot Castle. Ento’s face was captured in complete awe, but Twilight’s was merely lit up in an incredible smile. They both turned their heads suddenly as an armored pegasus addressed them.
“Welcome to the Grand Reunification Ceremony. The service is just beginning. Please hurry inside,” he said curtly, and nodded to the pair. Twilight’s smile fell, and she questioned the grandly-adorned pegasus.
“What are you talking about? What ceremony—” She was cut off as Ento tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to look at him, and he pointed to a unicorn dressed in flowing black that stood directly behind them.
“Oh, thank you, I will,” she mumbled through her long, black handkerchief. With a start, Twilight realized it was Rarity.
“What? Rarity, hi!” she ran to the mourning unicorn, bouncing all along the way from the excitement of seeing her friend again. Rarity merely walked right past Twilight without a single word of acknowledgement, and cantered inside with a heavy sob into her silken handkerchief. Twilight’s face fell as she turned around to shout at her unicorn friend.
“Rarity! Hey Rarity—!” Twilight stopped as a hoof was placed gently upon her shoulder. She spun around to find Ento, whose face was set in a grim evenness.
“Come on Twilight, let’s go in and have a look,” the colt said steadily. Twilight nodded, sniffing, and huddled up next to Ento. The pair followed Rarity inside through the giant gates with a driven pace.
I can’t stand to let Twilight’s heart break. She thinks she’s back alive at home. Hay, I did too, Ento thought to himself as he shook his head. The Ekina knew better, though. He had seen how Rarity’s hooves had passed right through Twilight, like the little purple unicorn was made of some swirling gas.
. . . .
“What are Ekina doing here?” Ento asked as the pair entered into the gigantic garden courtyard. Twilight reflected this sentiment. It seemed that Ekina were indeed here, in the middle of the day, right amongst ponies!
The pair cantered further into the garden, and looked at the assortment of things that were on display here. Hundreds of fold-up chairs had been filled by various ponies and Ekina, as well as the odd zebra. All of these guests were faced in the same forward direction.
As Twilight’s gaze followed the long rows of chairs, she spotted, standing reverently at the end of the assortment, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Joined by their side were the Lord and Lady, who had not pulled any stops when it came to their gregarious royal adornments. She spotted, also, Princess Cadance shrouded in black, and a sobbing Shining Armor in her arms. With a shout, Twilight ran down the runway towards her crying brother with a startled Ento following closely behind, calling her name.
"Shining! Shining, it's okay, I'm here!" Twilight giggled gleefully to her brother as he continued to sob in his new wife's arms. When she got no reply, though, the little unicorn walked up to her brother, and waved a hoof in front of him.
"H-Hello? Shining?" she said again, but received no reply from him. "What's going on? This isn't funny, big brother!" she growled as the smartly-dressed stallion continued to ignore her. "Hey, Shining, I'm right here!" she cried, and threw a playful punch at the stallion's armored shoulder. With a startled gasp, she backed up in shock as her hoof passed right through him!
A sudden jump of startling revelation hit her in the gut and winded her. Eyes watering in shock, she finally noticed the grand marble statue, the likes of which Twilight had never seen before on the grounds, that towered above each royal pair.
On it's gold pedestal, a unicorn mare stood gallantly next to what looked to be a tall and lanky Ekina colt. The pair was embracing, side by side; the unicorn was emitting a brilliant shower of sparks from her horn, and the Ekina colt was brandishing a wickedly curved sword, as if defending the mare with his life.
Twilight stood in between the silent forms of the ruling pairs with tears rolling down her crumpled-up face. Celestia, asking for silence amongst her guests, began her long and reverent dialogue of Twilight Sparkle: Friend, Savior, and Student. The very unicorn that it was written for, however, was not even listening as the pearly alicorn went on about the successful, if tragically short, life of her ever-faithful pupil.
With moistened eyes, Twilight read aloud the manuscript that was inscribed in deep, magically-etched letters at the statue’s gilded base.
“’Twilight Sparkle and Ento’Ba. The two brave heroes of the Third Era of Ek’Rael, and the bringers of Unity for Ekina and Ponykind. Two kindred souls, whose lives were brought to end in a valiant mission to show us all what true love means.’”
She turned around slowly to face Ento. The colt felt his heart shatter at the look of absolute sorrow on his lover’s face.
“Ento, we’re not back. We’re not really- alive,” she whispered, shooting a quick glance at her brother. “I’m so—” She choked on a sob. “I’m s-so sorry—!” she gasped through tears and strangling breaths. Ento merely walked right up to her and placed a hoof gently on her lips. Wiping away a tear from her cheek, he smiled slightly, as if he had remembered a funny joke, and then his face hardened in dead seriousness.
“You know,” he said, searching her face longingly, “your eyes get so damn pretty when you cry. They sparkle with an intense radiance that would rival that of the earth’s own hidden amethyst heart.” He paused, face hardening in a slight smirk. “But don’t you dare go off and cry ever again, Twilight Sparkle.”
The little unicorn merely laughed in an awkward moment of ecstatic longing.
“I p-promise, Ento,” she reassured him, and stared back into the colt’s blazing eyes.
The two lovers stood huddled together now, in stark and almost revolting contrast to the morbid feeling that was echoing out around them at their own funeral. As Twilight’s own eulogy was read aloud to her, it fell on deaf ears as the pair blacked out. A sensation of being dipped in a frigid ice bath overtook conscious awareness, and a sense of detachment soon followed after.
. . . .
With a jerking tug, four pairs of hooves landed silently on a cold, unyielding floor. As awareness flooded into sight, both pony and Ekina recognized now where they were. The high, foreboding, and very dim Hall of Castle Brelset welcomed a familiar feeling in Ento, but remitted a sour look from Twilight.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, a bit unnerved. This place didn’t exactly hold fond memories for her.
“I’m not sure,” Ento breathed, but stopped and turned to look as a slight voice was heard some twenty feet away.
“There we go, it’s done,” a tall Ekina stallion mumbled. He was draped in a long, dusty grey smock that hung off him like an ill-fitting skin, and clashed intensely with his muddled ochre coat. He turned to face the hooded Ekina that stood near him.
“What do you think?” he asked, breaking into a long smile. The shrouded figure merely nodded, and replied in an even, silken tone.
“Yes, the resemblance certainly is…uncanny. I think you have done a grand job, Marcue.” A thick smile could be heard on the court mage’s voice as he began his walk towards the door to the royal chambers. The stonemason nodded in affection at the endearing comment, and began packing his tools into a large metal trunk, as well as stuffing various objects into the multitude of pouches on his smock.
“I’ll see you around, Beseus. Tell the Lady I said hi, and that I still owe her that drink.” Exiting with a wink, he chuckled heartily to himself and sauntered out the great metal doors. As they opened for his withdrawal, sunlight splashed across the wall where the Ekina had been working, and left the pair alone inside the entire grand hallway. With a gasp, Twilight beheld before her a magnificent spectacle.
Etched into the high stone wall was a perfect representation of Ento, right down to his bobbed mane and razor teeth. He stood now, gallantly, a hoof rested on the burned-out form of a vicious Centuriori helmet- a testament to his impressive felling of one of the powerful guards, Twilight mused. She looked on, and spotted the artfully delightful rendition of her own form, which stood bravely behind Ento, adorned in the long, flowing robes that she had died in. Magic was a flame’s breath as it whipped from out the tip of her horn.
“Oh my gosh, Ento…” she breathed, as she looked on at this incredible testament of their heroic endeavors. Ento merely walked forwards, as if in a daze, and stared numbly at the calligraphic etching that had been chipped with a careful hoof beneath the graphic.
Twilight couldn’t make it out, though, as the door finally squealed shut and erased from the room any sort of natural lighting. Letting her eyes adjust, she could only spot Ento as he turned to her. His fiercely passionate eyes were cooled now in the gentle embrace of joyful tears, and, with a nod of his head, he read aloud what was inscribed below their picture.
“‘Bravery, among all else.’” Four words; seven syllables.
The statement was short, strung together in a senselessly simple way. But the manner by which the colt’s voice held it seemed to caress each tiny syllable with a gentle undulation of his tongue, betraying a deep and intense passion. Tears rolled down his face now, and Twilight could not do a thing but merely walk right up to him and return the favor he had given to her just minutes ago. She looked longingly into the colt’s ember eyes, and questioned why he was crying.
“Twilight, I know you’re not incredibly familiar with Ekina ways, but you know how our dead are taken care of. A pilgrimage, a feast, and then everything about them is forgotten. We do not have grand marble statues, or long funeral processions. Not even the name of a dead soul is written down, unless they have brought about an incredible piece of history for all of Ekina kind. Neither name nor deed is ever recorded, except here. And there we are, the two of us, up on that wall!” His voice caught up now, squeaking slightly as excitement overtook him.
“So...” Twilight began, but was overtaken by Ento’s vivacious excitement.
“Yes, we’ve done it! A simple blacksmith’s son and a princess’ pupil have done enough to have their deeds recorded upon this wall!” Pointing a hoof at their elaborate caricatures, he realized with a shock that he was crying. Bringing up the same hoof, he dabbed at the corner of his eye and was mildly startled when it came back wet. He looked down at Twilight, who was smiling.
She reached up now, and gently kissed the corner of each eye where cool tears had seeped out. As she pulled back, her lips brushed Ento’s with just a hair’s breadth between them. A shocking wave of nervous excitement rocked his body, and he couldn’t help but break into a silly grin. Smiling back, the little unicorn opened her mouth slowly to speak.
“Seeing you this happy makes me feel like the luckiest mare in all of Eque-” She stopped herself, though, and took a quick glance around. Regaining her momentum quickly, she added, “In the entire world.” A gigantic smile split itself across her face.
“Oh, Twilight,” the colt murmured. A crazy, ridiculous, impossible thought flashed across his mind. “You don’t know how happy that makes me to hear.” He suddenly realized that she was very, very close to his face. Very, conveniently close. Her lips were parted ever so slightly now into the sliest little smile he had ever seen on her…
“Well, I think…” she breathed, moving ever so close to her lover, “I know…how to make you far more happy…” The last word was a delicate breath that seemed to register barely above the level of equine hearing. Taking an immense leap, both lovers fell straight into the arms of fate.
And in the middle came a brilliant assortment of lurid ecstasy. Nerve-endings flashed and danced as neurons surged and crackled in a fireworks display of intoxicating delight.
As the two lone lovers felt their delicate lips connect, the loss of consciousness came as a far more gentle relief this time. A blanket of gentle warmth overtook them as unconsciousness enveloped all that they ever knew.
. . . .
A whip’s crack shot perception back into place, and the world of a mist-covered mountaintop shimmered into vision. The couple was holding each other now, both with faces hot and red and interrupted by grand smiles at what they had just done.
Before the newly-coalesced pair stood the alicorn sisters, Tuni’Ro, and- another Ekina. This one was, however, a might bit different than any Ekina either of them had seen before. He was not adorned with any special oddities or gaudy robes, but if he had been, even the most luxurious of embellishments would have simply impeded upon his stunning natural essence.
The Ekina stallion stood huge, almost overtaking the alicorn pair of the Sun and the Moon, and certainly dwarfed that of Twilight’s small form. His fur was shocked with jet black and midnight blue that ran course with his long, lean body. His mane was a brilliant canvas across his neck and body, though. It seemed like a mirror that trapped the essence of the night sky, magnified it, and set it alight.
Stars whirled and buzzed on his mane, galaxies were born and perished, comets streaked past, and entire cosmos seemed entrapped within the long, flowing hair. The stallion took a single step forward and opened his mouth to speak, revealing almost hideously long and scary-looking fangs. Twilight got the impression, though, that they held more of a sense of security over her, rather than fear- much like a candle that would give its own light before it desired to burn those it watched over.
“Ah, Ento’Ba,” boomed the stallion’s voice. Ento bowed immediately at the sky-father’s words, but Twilight stood in an astonished stupor. “And Twilight, it is good to see your spirit here again,” added the Ekina with a gigantic smile. “Ah, I am Alik’Kr, by-the-by. I always forget that you ponies do not know about us.” He turned to the Sun and Moon sisters, an eyebrow raised in joking upset. “Why is that, again?” he chuckled.
“Well, what can I say,” the Sun added with Celestia’s tinkling laugh, “I do not know how mortals think. They have such petty squabbles. But thanks to this pair, here,” she said, leveling a reverent amethyst eye on the pair that stood huddled across from her, “I think things will be changing for the better in the world.”
Alik’Kr and Tuni’Ro nodded together in understanding, and the former turned his head towards the pair. His cosmic mane shimmered as it fell across his head, igniting more and more supernovae and shimmering stars as he smiled again at them.
“So tell me, my friends. Are you ready to part this veil? Do you have the desire to write a whole new beginning to your story? To step forth into new bodies, with no idea of what you’ve left behind?”
The stallion’s words left his mouth and were picked up in the quick breeze that now blew cold mist across the top of the mountain in shimmering wisps. The moment seemed paramount to every other event that the pair had faced before, and they knew it would be their last. At least, for the time being.
Looking deeply to each other, they fell in the calm embrace of one another’s eyes, smiled, and turned back to the overseers that awaited the lover’s words.
“We are ready,” Ento said, and pulled Twilight as close to his body as was physically possible. All four demi-gods smiled at their subject’s amorous display, and Alik’Kr stepped up to speak once more.
“Very well, my friends. If you will close your eyes now, I will carry your souls on to your next body, and we—” The gigantic Ekina stallion stopped mid-sentence, and alighted a curious gaze upon Ento’s head. The colt looked back at him with the same confusion, and quickly felt his insides cool as unimaginable dread overtook him.
“Wh-what’s wrong?” he asked, stammering. Tuni’Ro echoed his sentiment, as well.
“Yes, Alik’Kr, what’s wrong? What is happening?” she inquired in a delicate, if not slightly pinched, tone. The stallion turned to his wife and shook his head slowly.
“I cannot carry him over to the next life, Tuni’Ro,” he said flatly.
“What!” Twilight squeaked loudly next to Ento. She broke away from the colt’s grip and clambered through the snow up to the giant midnight-blue stallion’s hooves. Bringing an adjudicating eye upon him, she asked, “Why not?”
The towering Ekina looked down on the little purple unicorn at his hooves with a curious glance. The motion ignited a plethora of activity from his mane, and he opened his mouth slowly to address Twilight’s question.
“His soul lacks the key to open the doorway to the next life. I cannot allow him to continue on to his new body to the mortal world. He must stay trapped here for the rest of time.” The words were plain, unadorned, and seemed almost emotionless on the stallion's lips. As his words alighted upon Twilight’s ears, though, it slammed her heart down into the pits of her stomach, and then rebounded it back up into her throat, choking her as she tried to spit out a reply.
“B-But how! Why?” Twilight cried up at the stallion.
“I do not know,” he said, almost sheepishly, “It has never happened before.”
A sound came up from behind them, and Twilight whipped around as Alik’Kr glanced up towards the noise. Ento was looking at the ground now, shuffling a hoof absentmindedly.
“I know why…” he said. Lifting his head up, his face was streamed with tears. “There was some Kryte I met, a witch. She promised to help me get out over the country’s wall if I gave her…” He paused, choking on a quick breath. “If I gave her something. She didn’t say what, but I guess this is what it was,” he whimpered morbidly. "My 'key.'" He shot a pleading look at Twilight, eyes cloudy and hurt. “I’m so sorry, Twilight. My selfishness is going to tear us apart,” he breathed helplessly. Twilight turned wildly towards the stallion before her.
“There isn’t anything you can do?” she cried to Alik’Kr. The Ekina looked down, and shook his head sullenly.
“I—" He stopped, and glanced over at Tuni'Ro, who was shaking her head morbidly. The giant stallion turned back to face Twilight, his ebony eyes ringed with tiny pools of tears. "No. We are merely observers of the play that is life, up here on the peak of the mountain. We cannot undo what has been done, nor can we change what happens to anyone that passes through here,” he appealed as evenly as he could.
“We are merely impassive guides when it comes to directing spirits beyond,” Tuni’Ro called from Alik’Kr’s side. The stallion nodded at his eternal wife’s addendum, and sniffed slightly.
“All that we know is that we only possess one key to open the door beyond, and as such, only one of you can pass. I am sorry, but that is how it must be,” the midnight-blue Ekina finished firmly.
Twilight was in a state of absolutely stunned shock. By a cruel twist of fate, she and Ento had met, and loved, and had known each other- but because of it, they would not be able to see one another in their next life, nor in any life beyond that!
Tears broke their barrier for what felt to be the hundredth time in the span of a mere day, as she lowered her head in utter and absolute defeat.
A sudden, calm realization washed over her now, though, as she caught herself staring out beyond horizon’s brilliant boundary. Wiping away a tear with a gentle purple hoof, she sniffed one final time, and slowly raised her head.
How slowly, she did not know. A hoof-full of tense moments were held aloft in the chill mountain air as she turned now towards her lover. His mane was whipping in the smart breeze, and his eyes jumped out at her as brilliant embers up on top of this cold mountain. She smiled as her mind concocted an idea: a single, independent notion. Yes, it would be perfect this way.
“I will stay in Ento’s place,” she breathed through barely parted lips. “He may have my key.”
“What? No!” the colt cried, loping through thick snow to join Twilight by her side. He came upon her, and grabbed her in his hooves, turning her body to face him. “No, Twilight! You can’t. You absolutely can’t!” Ento broke into sobs as he tried to speak through his rending anguish. Twilight merely grabbed her paramour’s hooves in her own, and set them gently on the ground with a crunch on the fresh snow.
“N-No! I won’t let you!” he shouted at her, trying to break her light grip in the most delicate way he could. A tinge of anger stung at the vestiges of his voice as he said, “I-I’ll stay here! With you. I won’t leave you!” The defiant statement was a sob. His desperate eyes searched her face for some sense of comfort. The unicorn’s visage was merely stone, and betrayed naught but a tiny glimmer of a self-assured and bittersweet smirk as she shook her head in a firm no.
“You have a life beyond here to live, and I want you to experience it.” She raised a hoof gently at his cry of outrage and attempted to blink back tears. She needed to be clearheaded for what she was going to say. “It will be okay, Ento. I promise,” she soothed the sobbing colt. Her voice held upon it the sweetest dulcet tone Ento had ever heard her speak before. It swirled about his caustic heart now, bathing it in a cooling embrace and extinguishing any fear or anger that had alighted upon it. The words reassured him, and told him this is right.
“I...” he said, voice catching through a shuddering breath. “I trust you, Twilight…” he finally admitted, bowing his head. The last little bits of his final salt fell now, off the tip of his nose, and became utterly indistinguishable in the virginal snow. “If it must be this way.”
Ento felt a warm sensation on his chin, and watched as a lavender hoof lifted his gaze up. It stopped when his eyes met those of a creature he loved, and an amethyst fire now leapt from its eyes and alighted upon his very soul. The experience, while certainly not anything short of immensely spectacular and utterly novel, and, despite having happened more times than he dared to count, seemed to fall short as his mind struggled to recall another sensation that rivaled it on a grand scale.
“It must,” she assured firmly.
With a long, flowing motion, the little unicorn’s head moved ever-so-delicately towards his own, and his brain flashed as it remembered the inane sensation that he found so indescribable.
Leaning in to meet her, he fell into the brilliant embrace as the lovers' lips met, for the last time in this life, upon one another. The delicate sensation started slowly, and built its way up until it was roaring at a fever pitch, coalescing into an awe-inspiring and soul-enrapturing kiss.
An eternity went by. For all intents and purposes, everything stood still for the two as they were locked in an embrace that stopped time's own unrelenting forward march. Finally, they fell apart, and the pair moved into the comforting warmth of each other’s eyes. Necessity called out each lover’s name, and Ento was the first to break the hold.
“I am ready,” he murmured gently to the grand stallion that stood some five feet from his and Twilight’s forms. The gigantic Ekina nodded, and spoke up in a gentleness that betrayed his own huge exterior.
“Very well. Please, close your eyes and I will begin the Transcendence.” Ento nodded back, and returned his gaze to look back into Twilight’s own.
“Will I see you again?” she whispered to the lanky colt. He broke into a tiny smile at her question.
“Yes, of course. Every time I am here to await transcendence, memories of the past will flood back, and we will be one again, for a time."
“Oh…” she sighed, and felt an incredible weight lift off her chest at her love’s reassurance. “Good.” She paused, shooting a sidelong glance at the horizon. “I will look for you, always,” she finished. Tears welled up now on the windows of her very soul, and the colt's smile turned to a lopsided smirk.
“Twilight... What did I tell you about crying?” he asked of the unicorn as he brought a long foreleg up to gently brush her tears away.
“Ah… Sorry,” she murmured, sniffing lightly, and gazed down at the snow. Her eyes came slowly back up now, and rested upon Ento’s own.
“I love you.”
“I know. I love you, too,” the colt professed, bathing in the glow of her beautiful eyes one last, final time. He closed his own, and felt a weightlessness overtake him.
The little purple unicorn stepped back from their embrace, and watched as Ento was lifted up into the air, as if caught in a gigantic, invisible hoof. Once he had been raised twice his height in the air, Twilight watched in awe as the very fiber of his being was whisked away on some untellable wind, and his body dissolved into ash. The ash caught on the resolute breeze, and was taken apart, piece by piece, as the Ekina’s soul disappeared from the peak of the mountain.
“Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust,” Twilight whispered as the last ounce of her love's soul disappeared from sight. The wind moaned about her, swirling Twilight's raven-black mane in a senselessly carefree manner. Everything seemed right in the world now.
She jumped slightly as a hoof tapped gently upon her shoulder. Turning about, she saw Tuni’Ro, who smiled gently to her. Twilight realized that she no longer found any upset in the earth-mother’s presence. In fact, the mare’s very smile seemed to instill in Twilight a sense of deep, maternal comfort.
“Come, my dear, let us get you settled. You will be here for a very, very long time, after all. Would you care for some tea?”
A gentle smile pierced Twilight’s even face. She nodded delicately as she looked upon the creatures that joined her here on the mountain’s peak: the Sun, the Moon, the Mother Earth, and the Father Sky. Her smile grew larger as she looked now at the great landmark that jutted about from the side of the mountain, where the two lovers had found themselves flung into the images of their own futures.
She would look out from that spot every day, she decided. At noon, dawn, and sunset, she would be there, looking beyond horizon’s edge, to wait for her lover’s return, no matter what form he took.
A silent tear rolled down her face. The last one she would ever shed, she decided firmly.
It would be quite an eternity here, indeed.
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I'm Commander Shepard, and I approve of this fic.
To all of my loyal readers, and to those who I have yet to know:
This story has been an incredible roller coaster of thoughts, feelings, desires, agony, and passion. I may or may not come back and re-write, seeing as I do have a few ideas for another intro, and I know the story can get a bit choppy at times. Nevertheless, I certainly hope you enjoyed it very nearly as much as I did, and I hope as well that you will come away from this whole thing with something of a change of heart.
There is, after all, a bit of a spark of Ento and Twilight in us all, I think.
Sincerely and forever yours,
Sabre
Beautiful
Come on man, hold it in... hold it in...
Oh who am I kidding?!
So many manly tears, and I have to congratulate you on an amazing fic. I loved it from the start, and can't wait to see what else you come up with.
Good luck!
-Jorofrarie
It was a good read, really, but I'm kind of disappointed that Twilight stays dead, never to see her friends again, which thereby puts Equestria'a national security at risk.
Plus, Ento won't remember shit, so even when they meet, it wouldn't really matter.
Kind of a downer ending, don'tcha think?
You make me sad...
Good ending though.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't bucking cry, do-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW
I love you're story, and the ending couldn't have been better.
Why didn't Ento stay with Twi for all eternity
I think I know the perfect music for a tear jerking goodbye like this one.
Though, granted, the context was different originally,but it just SCREAMS tear jerking goodbyes. What do you think, Sabre?
646345
Thank you for the insight. I added a little edit to address this.
648412
I like it, and I do think it fits quite well with the ending.
649898 I know right? There's just something about that piece that just...
GODDAMMIT I hate you so much right now. You just had to do it. WHY??? WHY??? why can't they be together? Your probably gonna say something like "Well I wanted it to be realistic" or something like that. If that's reality then I'm staying as far away as I can possibly get. I love happy endings and don't see why everybody can't have one? If that's 'Reality' I vote to kill it with extreme prejudice. Anyway I think that whole spirit cycle thing would get very droll. I mean with the same souls going around all the time its like recycling stale air *ugh*. It makes for a very stifling realm. The only 'good' things I have to say is it was very well written. I liked the storyline and just about the whole thing. The ending though.... sigh. It contaminated the whole story for me. Your a sadistic bastard you know. You must really hate Twilight and Ento. You have the power of god over this story and you give them the worst fate possible. There is nothing that comes close to being separated from your True Love for all eternity.
686351
Before you ask me why, ask yourself why not?
688490
Because making ponies(anyone really) sad is evil. You just gave them an eternity of sadness with some good every 80 or so years. How can you see their crying faces at the funeral. You had the power to change that. You could give them the happiest ending every yet you gave them a living hell instead.
Also read the whole comment before. Anyway I think that whole spirit cycle thing would get very droll. I mean with the same souls going around all the time its like recycling stale air *ugh*. It makes for a very stifling realm. whats your comment on that?
689254
Is it really an eternity of sadness? Remember, Twilight chose to stay there. She sacrificed herself to save Ento so that he could continue on in previous lives. Sacrificing everything you can for a loved one is no new concept. Remember the part where Twilight decides she won't cry again?
"A silent tear rolled down her face. The last one she would ever shed, she decided firmly." ?
She knew what she was doing. She didn't have to give up her key for Ento, could have said, "well, sorry about that," and continued on. The choice she made was sad and upsetting, yes, but she did it with confidence and in the face of adversity. And isn't that why we all love our little ponies? Because they experience and show human emotions like sadness, remorse, and love?
And the afterlife? I always was curious about how reincarnation worked, and I thought that there must have been a medium between the two lives where you probably remember every life past and you visit one another. The thought of "eternally paired souls" always tickled my fancy, as well. So I suppose that, in a way, it could get stale, but in the way I presented it, I hope that it will not seem that way.
On another note, the fact that the ending affected you so much means alot to me. It means my writing is actually worth it's weight in apples.
689254
Ya It's a good story. I just think the whole separation for eternity shouldn't have been needed. It seems extreme in all sense of the word. Eternity is forever ya know. Sacrificing not seeing a lover for 99% of that time seems a VERY high price to pay for something a measly as peace for even a couple million(trillion even) years. Eternity is far more then that. It's an infinite amount. The scales seems to be balances a infinite amount more towards bad then the good that came from it. Eternity is worth more then anything. I think if you wanted a more realistic ending and kept the whole stuck in eternity thing you could've had them both stay. That would far more acceptable and even believable if their love was even somewhat strong. Hell if that happened to me all's I'd want is to stay together forever no matter where.
690503
I can see why you would be so upset, but if you look at my author's note on the comments, I have not given up on this story as complete. It is actually my first ever fanfic, and my motto generally is "fix it, and then fix it again." So I do expect to come back over it with a fine-toothed comb, shake out the bugs, fill in plot holes, maybe even add a prologue or epilogue (but you didn't hear that from me
)
690538
Hmmm huh wha? did you say something.......... Must be my imagination. *shot by arrow*
Get the reference lolz
690503
690538
I'm a bit late to the party, but I did have a thought. Couldn't Ento and Twilight trade the key every now and then? I mean, clearly, Twilight could give hers to Ento; what's stopping Ento from giving it back the next time he shows up?