Trixie shows up in ponyville again, well great now it looks like the elements of harmony have to teach her a lesson again...or do they. Join the gang and Trixie as they help her get back on her feet after hearing something unexpected.
4165309 I don't think that's a problem considering we know who he's talking about. I'd say a bigger problem is that the grammar is rather off. For instance,
she said with some wonder of who could be at the door this early because even though she gets up early in the morning she knows that nopony or at least not that many ponies would be out at this time just yet.
This seems rather off in terms of grammar as there's no room to breathe in the sentence, a clearer way of saying it would be
she said with some wonder of who could be at the door this early. Even though she got up early in the morning, she knew that nopony, or at least not that many ponies, would be out at this time just yet.
I'd also say work on the time tense as it switches between present and past tense.
only prombel i see is lack of body descriptions
4165309 I don't think that's a problem considering we know who he's talking about. I'd say a bigger problem is that the grammar is rather off. For instance,
This seems rather off in terms of grammar as there's no room to breathe in the sentence, a clearer way of saying it would be
I'd also say work on the time tense as it switches between present and past tense.
I would like a description of what the characters are wearing in these fics.