At The Drop of A Hat

by Tchernobog

CalmNQuiet

Applejack heaved forth a great sigh and sunk down onto her haunches. Raising her forehooves in the air, she questioned just how in Equestria she ended in the middle of so many shenanigans at quite literally: the drop of a hat. When she woke up this morning, all she wanted to do was get her chores done and spend some quality time with her best-friend, Rainbow Dash. But now, Rainbow was nowhere to be found, she was hatless, and she was pretty sure getting held up in a train-robbery was anything but quality time.
Obviously, this would not do.

Narrowing her eyes, she watched the gruff-looking stallion carefully. He kept a sedated pace up the aisle and stopped at each row of seats to demand for bits and valuables. Oddly enough, none of the passengers seemed to have anything to offer and the stallion didn’t seem the least bit perturbed by the lack of financial gain from a very illegal venture.

As he approached, Applejack flexed her forehooves and tensed her muscles. This would be easy; a quick uppercut followed by a swift left buck from Bucky McGillycuddy would finish the job. Then she could apologize to the conductor, properly explain the whole situation, get her hat, find Rainbow, and finally go home for a nice game of horseshoes. She swallowed and prepared herself.
Three feet...two feet...one foot... she just had to wait for him to turn and address the passengers.

“Stop right there! Your thieving days are over!”

Applejack yelped and fell over onto her face as a pony bowled her and the conductor over from behind. Her vision blurred, she only managed to make out the painful sounds of hooves against flesh followed by the thumping sound of a body hitting the floor. She looked up and found a masked stallion standing next to her fallen form and the incapacitated would-be-robber laid-out before her.

She reached for the hoof offered to her and brushed herself off. “Uhm... thank you kindly?” She stammered out to the masked pony.

The hero smiled and tipped his own stetson hat to her. “My pleasure. I do apologize for the rough entrance, I hope you aren’t hurt.”

“I’m alright.”

“Wonderful, if you’ll excuse me, I think the rest of the Hoovessidy Gang are on the loose. I must apprehend them before they make their escape.” Without another word, he took to his hooves and disappeared into the next train car.

Looking over to the conductor, Applejack gestured at the train-car over. “Who was that?”

“No pony knows. You’re lucky the Hoovessidy gang is here, otherwise I’d have him haul you off to the nearest sheriff’s office. I don’t appreciate having stowaways on my train.” He growled and dropped his hoof back onto Applejack’s shoulder. “And don’t think of running, no pony has ever escaped the masked pony of justice out here.”

“Wouldn’t think of it, sir. Though if you’d just let me explain, you’ll see this is all a big misunderstanding.”

The conductor sighed and rolled his eyes toward the heavens, as if seeking patience from a higher power. “Very well, it has something to do with your hat, right?”

“Yes, sir. You see, I lost my hat and it just so happens the critters that stole my hat dropped it onto your train. When you departed, my friend, Rainbow Dash, was kind enough to carry me out here so I could retrieve it.”

“Wait, there are two stowaways on my train?”

“Um... yes?” Applejack’s ears splayed back. “We split up to look for my hat. I swear on my granny’s apple pie.”

“That’s not the problem! She might interfere with the act, some pony might actually get hurt!”

“What? What act? What’s going on here?” Applejack didn’t get an answer. She was alone in the train car, deserted swiftly by the conductor. She followed his hoof-steps to the next train car and found herself in what was best described as a standoff.

“Surrender, Trixie! I’ve already taken down all of your gang, you’re the last one left!”

Applejack looked around the train car and indeed, three additional stallions lay quietly on the floor. One of them even had an oversized Stetson on which looked absolutely ridiculous. More concerning was a very familiar looking blue unicorn standing just on the other side of the train car.

“Surrender? Never! The Great and Powerful Trixie won’t let herself be captured by some pony in a mask!”

“Very well, if you won’t come peacefully, I’ll have to take you in forcefully.”

“Trixie scoffs at your idle threats, there is no pony capable of defeating Trixie!”

Quick as a whip, a rope materialized and bound Trixie’s hooves together. She fell to the floor with a thump. Trixie responded with a spell of her own, freeing herself from the bonds and snapping the rope back at the masked pony. He dodged backward just in time, but not fast enough. His hat flew off his head and revealed his light amber horn.

Pulling herself up, Trixie smiled triumphantly at his de-hatting. “And Trixie wins the first duel! Care to go again? Or would you like to beg the Great and Cunning Trixie for forgiveness?”

The unknown stallion picked up his hat and readjusted it upon his head before turning back to Trixie. “I’m here to see justice served, and you shall have your fill of it when I am through!”

“I doubt that. Trixie needs these bits, and not you or any pony is going to stop me!”

“We’ll see about that!” Rainbow Dash, appeared behind Trixie adorned with a stetson and tackled the unicorn to the floor. Before anypony could react, the masked pony rushed forward and placed a hoof at the base of Trixie’s horn.

“It’s over Trixie, surrender.” He exchanged a slight nod with the fallen unicorn.

Trixie scoffed under her breath and sighed. “Very well, you have bested Trixie this time. Trixie will come quietly.”

The passengers of the train broke out into cheers and stomped their hooves appreciatively. Before any pony could ask any questions, Applejack found herself hustled toward the back of the train with Rainbow Dash by the train conductor. Once they were far away from the rest of the passengers, Trixie stood up and glared at them. “Why are you two here? Have you come to ruin another performance by Trixie?”

“Performance?” Applejack and Rainbow responded together.

“That’s right.” The masked pony pulled off his mask to reveal the homely friendly face of Joe, the doughnut shop owner back in Canterlot. “Silver Ticket and I put on a show every few days for ponies to experience an old fashioned train robbery. Obviously nothing gets stolen but it’s very popular. Trixie is a natural performer.”

Trixie tossed her mane back and smirked. “Was there ever any doubt?”

The conductor, known as Silver Ticket, shook his head sadly. “I’m really sorry to get you mixed up in all this, but we have a tight schedule. Luckily we were able to salvage the performance even with the sudden intrusion of your friend.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled and rubbed the back of her hoof. “Oh, right, sorry.”

“How did you get free anyways? Trixie tied you up quite firmly!”

“Oh, I’m very good with my mouth.” Rainbow responded with a wink.

“Right... so I’m guessing you found this young lady’s hat?” Silver Ticket gestured to the hat perched upon Rainbow’s head.
“I think so! It smells sweet like Applejack—er, I mean...” Rainbow stammered and looked away.

Applejack blushed at the sudden admission herself and retrieved the hat from Rainbow’s head. Feeling it over in her hooves, she nodded affirmatively. “I think this is my hat. Thank you so much, Rainbow.”

“Fantastic!” Silver Ticket responded all too quickly and wiped the beads of sweat from his brow. “Now if you wouldn’t mind paying for a ticket, we can see about getting you all back to Ponyville.”

“Paying?” Rainbow swallowed nervously.

“Ticket?” Applejack echoed.

Out of the frying pan into the fire...

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[Smoker]

And now into the gloriously awkward world of finances. ..