A shrill southern accent rang though the household of Sweet Apple Aces. “Applebloom! Come and get yer lazy flank outta bed! It’s already a quarter to 4:00 AM!” Applebloom buried her head in the covers and groaned. Her sister was always obnoxious when it came to the weekdays, but there was something different about today that would leave the most prepared pony's mouth agape. No magic, no Pinkie sense, not even the all-seeing eleven-thousand eyed beast named Sam, (who, that everypony knew, could like, see everything) could forsee the event that featured Applebloom the Earth Pony:
It was today, Applebloom decided, that even though her sister would scream her lungs out, she would NEVER leave the soft paradise that was her mattress. (dramatic gasp!) Her family might threaten, her friends might cry, the entire town might even get on their knees and beg, (and oh, will they beg!) but this little filly WILL get her beauty slee-
“Ah made waffles!~” chimed the voice of Granny Smith.
“Waffles?” Mouth watering, Applebloom was in the kitchen in record time. “Alright, Ah’m up. Now gimme the…” Her spirts plummeted at the sight of her breakfast. “…cold cereal.” Defeated, Applebloom dunked her head in a bowl of milk & Pony-O’s.
“Use yer spoon, sugercube,” commented Applejack.
“Ah know,” sighed Applebloom. She raised her head and used her horn to… magically… lift… her… spoon………..
...She had a horn.
SHE HAD A HORN?!!
Applebloom took the whole ordeal suprisingly well.
...At first.
“Sweet Celestia, Ah’m a honest-ta-goodness unicorn!!!”
Big Macintosh studied his youngest sibling closely. He then surpised her by saying, “Nnope.”
Applebloom was shocked. “And just why th’ hay not? Ah have a horn, and unicorns have horns. Therefore, Ah'm a unicorn! It's simple!"
"Nnope." repeated her brother.
"Oh? And what's yer argument, Mister Knows-It-All?"
"It's just that last time Ah recall, unicorns don't have wings," replied Big Macintosh. Applebloom looked to her sides. Sure enough, she was the the proud (and confused-as-hay) owner of a pair of tiny, majestic wings. Wings that, without her even noticing, had allowed her to hover across the kitchen table and up to her brother's face.
"Oh........uhhhh......hehe....Ah was wonderin' why we were eye level."
And before you could say, "Holy plot twist, Batmare!" Applebloom fainted.
OK, few critiques: Only use page splits when a scene transition occurs, (things in parentheses are not necessary for dramatic expressions, or blunt mentions shouldn't be used), and don't underline for emphasis, use italics.
I'm sure there are other things you can improve on, but I'm not that proficient in grammar in and constructive criticism, but this does look like a promising fic.
Brilliant. AliTwi is massively overdone, it's about time people start alicornificating ponies at random!
The potential of a tiny alicorn hayseed is endless. Tracking this.
Nice Dr Seuss I am not going to get up today reference i was like then
354990 Seconded.
I'm loving this and I feel like whatever might ensue. It's going to be brilliant.
I can see what the Meme-asaurus is plagiating but as a recent addition to the glory of MLP and fanfiction I can't help but wonder:
What are the originals or origins of the supposedly nagged to death "Twi-is-alicorn" stories? I only read a few and they where both recent and rubbish.
(Apart from Thunderstruck but that piece isn't going to update be4 I grow gray hairs).
Where are these eleged great Alicorn stories that nagged the concept to death? I wan't to read e'm!
Anyways, onward to the next chapter and more awesomeness!!
*insert EPIC awesome face right here, *
*insert EPIC awesome face right here, *
I like the bat man joke
Holy plot twist, Batmare!