The Alicorn Complex

by Count Weirdly

II - Fly Swatter

It didn't feel strange at all, really. It was as if he had just walked through a dark tunnel that connected a men's restroom to a crowded old-timey market square in a cartoon.

In fact, this city and its colorful equine inhabitants all looked strikingly similar to those in a certain television program he frequently viewed...

He did not have the chance to look into that though, as suddenly an ear-piercing noise, not unlike that of millions of windows shattering, rang throughout the city. The townsfolk all seemed to know what it meant immediately, but Gerard was not in the loop, so he was understandably quite perplexed.

The tiny horses scattered, jumping over fruit stands, using each other as human [read: pony] shields, and screaming bloody murder. It was only when Gerard looked to the sky that he could relate to their cries of terror.

Green dots were raining from the sky, they seemed to be flaming like meteors. Using his cat-like reflexes and grace, Gerard dove to cover, rolling under a banana stand just as one of the fireballs crash-landed right where he had been standing. He remained hidden under the cart, silently cursing himself for not choosing a sturdier object for cover.

As the smoke from the newly-formed crater cleared, a dark creature, created for the sole purpose of invoking fear in all who laid eyes upon it, emerged.

The large, solid blue eyes; The shiny white fangs; The jet-black coat; The swiss-cheese holes in its horn, legs, and wings. It all clicked. He knew exactly what these creatures were, and more importantly, where he was.

This was a changeling. He was in Equestria - Canterlot to be precise. This was the day of the Changeling Invasion.

"Holy shit!" he said in shock, a bit louder than he would've liked to.

The changeling turned to him and hissed. Gerard rolled out from under the banana stand, narrowly missing getting blown to smithereens by a laser blast from the changeling's horn. The banana stand was not lucky enough to share the same luck. Gerard's happy jig would have to wait, as he looked around to see changelings everywhere. Their beady eyes were all fixed on him.

"You killed the banana stand! Some banana-themed pony probably put her entire life into that business!" A single tear trailed down his cheek. "You must pay for your crimes. Justice will be served! For her honor!"

Suddenly, all of the changelings took the form of a yellow-coated, dark brown-maned Earth Pony mare with a banana on each flank. Gerard's anger rose as he realized that this was exactly the coloration of a mare who would be likely to run a banana farm. Her name was probably Banana Bushels or something. He took a combat stance, ready to fight off the hoard of insectoid ponies that surrounded him.

"Bring it!" Gerard yelled.

"Attack!" the banana hater commanded.

Three at a time, the changelings attacked, going at him with all they had. He ducked in time for the first three to knock heads with each other in mid-air. As the next three approached, Gerard grabbed one by the forelegs, swinging it around to knock out the other two. He even backhanded one, sending it into a cherry stand.

Each changeling met Gerard with confidence, and fell with shame. Each one, until their commander flew at Gerard and brought him down, dodging Gerard's swings and knocking him on his ass.

Gerard lay belly-up on the cobblestone ground, the changeling commander on top of him.

"I've got you now," the changeling hissed, smiling smugly as he changed back from his pony form. In his normal form, he proudly wore blue armor and a matching helmet to signify his rank.

"Usually I like to go on a couple dates before I let someone get me into this position," Gerard jested, still unafraid.

In response, the changeling brought his forehoof down hard on Gerard's left shoulder, eliciting a loud 'crack'. "You fool!"

"Aah!" Gerard yelped in pain. "You bastard!"

"I'm going to ENJOY torturing you!" His lorn lit up, preparing to fire. Gerard closed his eyes calmly, fully prepared to die, as knew he had fought valiantly. He heard the sound of a magical laser firing, and opened his eyes, realizing it hadn't killed him. Instead, the laser had been shot into the sky, exploding like a flare. Several drones flew down in response, landing and waiting for their commander's instruction.

"Take this disgusting creature away, toss it where the other prisoners are being kept!"

The drones wordlessly complied, one of them wrapping its forelegs around Gerard and taking flight. They took him to the edge of the city, the very precipice of the cliff on which Canterlot stood, leaving him on the ground. They stuck him against the ground with a green goop similar to crazy glue, aside many other prisoners. There he lay for several minutes, struggling against the goo, wincing in pain whenever he moved his broken arm. Finally, several minutes later, one of the changeling guards spoke up.

"Disgusting fools!" he called, condescendingly. "You have been taken prisoners by the Hoard of the Mighty Queen Chrysalis for committing unforgivable crimes against our soldiers! For this, you will not be granted a swift death, like your neighbors! You will be interrogated, you will be tortured, and then, you will die. The Commander of our infantry will decide who goes first."

Several seconds later, Gerard heard the sound of hooves approaching him. The sound stopped right next to him, and he looked up to see the changeling he had fought earlier, staring daggers at him with a huge smile.

"I choose... you." He laughed menacingly. "Guards! Take him to the tent!"

One of the drones flew to his side, using his magic to disintegrate the goop that held him to the ground. Once again, he was airborne, being carried to what they called a 'tent', but what looked more like another pile of toxic sludge, just this time with a door.

Twenty feet from the destination, a loud bang erupted from the castle far into the city. The changeling carrying Gerard instinctively held him tighter his eyes widening, as a wall of magical energy slammed into them, sending them flying at high speed away from the city. Gerard used his working arm to cling as hard as he could to the changeling. His head was tucked into the its fur (he had never thought that changelings would have fur, but they did), so he couldn't look down to see the ground that lay several thousand feet below. The changeling clinging on to him screamed in terror, refusing to let go. The wind howled in his ears. The pain in his shoulder was nearly unbearable.

This persisted for several minutes before they finally hit a tree.

Author's Note:

Alright, the transition to the next chapter is terrible, I know. I couldn't think of anything better.

Anyway, please tell me what you think. I'll be very glad.

Remember to leave your critiques in the comments! I can't survive without corrections and suggestions! Many thanks for reading, I'll see you soon!

UPDATE (7-28-14): I edited this chapter just a bit, improving the fight scene some, and a couple other minor tweaks.

Comments

[The Vault Tech]

Wary of this story for its title similarity to one of my own stories.

[Count Weirdly]

3923333
Oh, when I went to your page to see what you were talking about, I was expecting to see another story titled "Alicorn Complex".

Nay, the fact that both or story titles include the word "Complex" is but a coincidence. In truth, I was thinking about the Oedipus Complex when I was planning the story.

Nevertheless, I hope you give it a chance and enjoy it!

[The Vault Tech]

3923474
Your story is pretty good. A few notches above mediocre.
My story is a crossover of a game called "PARANOIA", so you'll understand why I'm wary of things like this.

[Count Weirdly]

3923516

You know, I really should have read through the story again before I submitted it, because you're right, it is only a few notches above mediocre. Stuff that I would've caught if I had taken the time to read it over again. I'll have to do some revisions later on.

I'll have to look over your story, I don't believe I've ever heard of that game, but the "Comedy" tag is enough to convince me to give it a try. I do like me at least a bit of humor in the fics I read.

[The Vault Tech]

3927083
Mine's also mediocre

[Fucks Ungiven]

May I use banana bushels for a short story?

[Count Weirdly]

3994457
On one condition: You have to shoot me a link to the story when it's done!
Thanks for the fave, by the way! You're too kind!

[Fucks Ungiven]

3998489 Haha alright, and no problem. Just keep writing so I can keep enjoying.