Lost, in the heat of battle. (tf2, Anthro mlp crossover)

by heavy weapons brony

Major league!! (Edited)

Soldier jumped out of his Trailer Home and soaked in the warm sunshine blanketing the earth. "AH!, what a great day to be an American!" Soldier said popping the kinks in his back. Soldier then skipped down the road and took in all the America had to offer, He skipped by some American Soldiers assaulting a beach, He skipped by some American soldiers assaulting a fort, He skipped by some American soldiers assaulting a hill, in fact He even skipped by some soldiers repelling an assault in their fort that was on a hill near an ocean. "Well looks like the boys are playing some fun games outside, i think after a bite i'll join them" Soldier said as he stopped skipping through the front door of a big flashy Diner that was all covered in chrome with big red letters spelling out “AL’s!”

Soldier walked up the countertop and sat on a stool. "What it'll be Soly?" a very large man behind the counter. "A All American meal Al! please!" Soldier yelled back rubbing his hands together with a smile. Soldier sat back and relaxed, then he noticed a newspaper lying on the countertop. Soldier grabbed it and started reading, America had won the war Against brazil, and the war Against Mars, and even the war against Valentines day. Soldier chuckled as he heard Al say "ORDER UP!" and a plate knock against the counter.

Soldier folded his newspaper, grabbed his fork and knife and looked down at the plate.

"Um,....Al is there any reason you gave me pills instead of food?" Soldier asked with confusion. "Well for one thing they're cheap as chips! eh?" Al said in a weird voice. Soldier looked up a saw that Al had become a small lanky man in a red plaid wool coat with matching lumberjack wool hat.

The color drained from Soldiers face as he just tried to process what was happening "Soly? you don't look so good, here have a drink" Al said has he heaved a large whiskey bottle on the counter. Soldier looked down at the bottle and his eyes widened as he saw a horrifying image,....a big red maple leaf. Soldier swept his arm along the the counter knocking over the plate of pills and whiskey and jumped up and ran out the door screaming.

Outside, America had changed, Soldier ran outside and slipped on some ice and fell with a crunch in the snow outside. Soldier got up shaking from the chill of the snow. The scene before him was gruesome, moose drove cars made from maple leaves, children ran through the streets throwing beavers at each other, people were drinking maple syrup right out of the bottle, Babies jumped from their carriages and began playing hockey against bear cubs.

Soldier couldn't take it, his America was gone, tears formed in his eyes, then a large crunching noise could be heard from the ground beneath his knees. the snow cracked a familiar pink pony Hippie rose from the snow before him, She smiled and looked down at Soldier, she bent over and showed him a bottle of maple syrup, "Wanna sip?,,,,,eh?" The Hippie said then started giggling with a snort.

"Nooooooo!" Soldier yelled waking up with a start. Soldier shook violently and thrashed around but found it all to be in vain, Soldier had been tied into some sort of soft white fluffy substance. "bout time you woke up, i was about to start without you (o.0), man your heavy, took me a good two hours to get you up here, now the fun can begin!" a squeaky female voice said. Soldier looked up and saw a blue pony Hippie with a very scary rainbow colored hair dressed in a tight black sport outfit, she also had a pair of blue wings that she was using to float in the air. "Great, Hippie Canadians can fly now" Soldier thought to himself.

(Someone needs to fix those brakes one of these days)

Soldier could still feel his gum in his pocket and knew that the Hippie would find it in a matter of time. Soldier continued to thrash in the white fluffy stuff. "Hey hey! careful buddy if you mess around in that stuff too long you're gonna-"

Soldier broke the white substance holding him and fell off it and found that he was about 20 Stories in the air, Soldier sped towards the ground when the flying Hippie grabbed him before he hit the the dirt. Scared, Soldier landed a fist on the Hippie's nose making her drop him safely on the ground, "Why you!" the Hippie said rubbing her nose, she rocketed up in the air and Soldier lost her in the sunlight. Soldier heard a faint whistling noise as the Hippie dived for Soldier.

Soldier, waiting until the last minute, dived to his left, making the Hippie miss scooping him up. The Blue Hippie then soared into the cloudy sky, planning on a surprise attack.

Soldier looked through the spytech bag trying to find something useful. He pulled out Spy's revolver, The Blue Hippie popped from the sheet of clouds with a faint whistling and dived for Soldier again. Soldier fired all six shots, the Hippie took evasive action causing each of the rounds to miss. On the next pass Soldier tried the engineer's shotgun to the same effect. desperate, Soldier dug out the Demoman's sticky bomb launcher.

Soldier shot some stickies into the air, detonating them in mid air. Still the hippie was still too fast, Soldier dodged a few passes trying to think of a plan. Soldier got an idea and shot two stickies on the ground, then he put the launcher away and waited.

Soon he heard the faint whistle again. Soldier ran and jumped over the sticky bombs. he detonated them sending him flying through the air, Solder shot through the cloud cover and into the sunlights glare and came face to face with the flying Hippie. Soldier saw the world in slow motion as he brought up his shovel and connected it with the Hippies chin with a satisfying *PANG!. Time resumed as Soldier flew through the sky. He broke through a cloud and saw that he was headed for the roof of a house.

Soldier thrashed his limbs trying to change his direction of travel but ultimately smashed through the old rotted roof and landed in the attic on a pile of cardboard boxes and mattresses.

Soldier lifted his head, trying to stay conscious but failed and blackness took him over once again.

Author's Note:

WOW! 21 FAVS?
this fic started life out as a troll fic i wrote it to get dislikes, safely say i failed
what is it that you like about this?
anyway like, follow, whatever

one more thing, where did soldier land?
Sweet apple acres or Fluttershy's cottage?
you decide leave your votes in the comments (don't worry i'll do both eventually just what do you wanna see first?)
ps, please alert me of any errors so i can fix them k, k?

i love all of the fans of this fic (o.0 yeah that sounded weired but im sorry)

now im gonna go play tf2 and spam min sentries! : D

Comments

[fasterninja]

weak attic i think that has to be sweet apple acre

[fasterninja]

if you do another tf2 running from the heat please do scout i think it would be funny watching break down crying when he sees rainbowdash

[heavy weapons brony]

3919288 don't worry i will if i do, mmmmm how do the adventures of scout n' pyro sound?

[fasterninja]

3923763
scout and pyro there not the best team i think it would be better with engineer or sniper cuase there opposites one runs the over camps

[fasterninja]

but i still like the idea of just one of them getting sent there

[heavy weapons brony]

3924897 well my reasoning was scout never stops talking, pyro can baerly get a word out, scout would proppably hate being in equestria, pyro would have the time of his life.

[fasterninja]

3924925
during the heat i don't think so plus thats why i like the scout hes stupid funny and arrogant pyro just would not make sense so i would best just to have scout and his pretty littel pocket pistol of no fall damage

[Lion Tale]

......Let's say Sweet Apple Acres for now, It sounds more, well, natural.
I really don't know why XD

[Another_Dead_Account1109]

Let's say Sweet Apple Acres for now

[WorldWalker128]

Soldier: The ultimate anti-rape baddass.

[Peanut970]

It reminds me of Outlast. Every damn time you think you have escaped a psycho, an even worse psycho comes up.

[Silvergryhon]

5136115

I would be surprised if he landed in murdershy's shed

[Nova light]

5/10. Needs more rocket Jumping