Chapter 11: Conflicted
Octavia trotted towards Sweet Apple Acres with her cello case strapped to her back. Yesterday’s music lesson was a disaster, and she was determined to do something about it. Maybe if she was the one playing instead, they could approach the music differently, and Applejack would be able to help her by pointing out what was wrong with her music. That is, if Applejack was still willing to try again. She clearly was not comfortable playing in front of others. Whatever happened yesterday showed that Applejack was troubled by something.
Octavia bit her lip and slowed her pace as she pondered the situation. On one hoof, she was desperate to get Applejack’s help in finding what was missing in her music. By doing so, it would dispel a lot of worries and issues that have sprouted up, allowing her to safely resume her musical career. On the other hoof, Applejack had become a good friend, and she did not want to push her into a situation that she was not ready for or uncomfortable with and risk losing their friendship.
She sighed and resumed her pace. There was no use worrying about things too much. One thing was for sure. Today was a new day, and regardless of what will happen, she had to see Applejack again.
An eyebrow rose in curiosity as Octavia trotted up to the farmhouse. Applejack was seated on the porch with her fiddle case already on her back. As she got closer, she noticed something was off with Applejack.
“Howdy, Octavia,” Applejack greeted when Octavia approached her, her voice lacking its usual energy.
“Um… hi,” Octavia greeted back.
“Ah see you brought your instrument today. That’s good.”
“Yes, I thought maybe we could try letting me play a bit today.”
“Sounds good to me. Now, how about we go ahead and head to our spot.”
Octavia’s eyes widened slightly. “What about your chores?”
“No need to worry about them today,” Applejack answered. She grunted as she slowly and shakily got on her hooves.
“Applejack, are you alright?”
“Ah’m feelin’ just fine,” Applejack replied right before turning her head to try and suppress a yawn.
Octavia frowned as she leaned in closer. “You don’t seem fine,” she stated as she tried to get a good look at Applejack’s face. Applejack attempted to avoid her gaze, but Octavia quickly moved and got a look at Applejack’s eyes. Octavia let out a small gasp at what she saw.
Applejack’s eyelids were drooping as they half-covered bloodshot, red eyes with faint, dark rings appearing under them. There was barely a trace of the vitality and cheerfulness her face glowed with yesterday while they were applebucking.
“Applejack, you look like a wreck. What in Equestria happened to you?” Octavia asked with a small frown.
“Like Ah said, Ah’m fine. Ah just got a head start on the chores, so we can spend the day with your music. So, how about we get things movin’?”
Octavia shook her head. Forget her music, something was wrong with Applejack, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. “Applejack, I am not moving until you at least explain to me why you are like this.”
“Ah said Ah’m fine,” Applejack repeated through gritted teeth. “Ah’m just a little tired. It’s nothin’ Ah haven’t dealt with before. Now, are we goin’ or not?”
Octavia’s eyes narrowed as she glared at Applejack. “Very well then,” she said as she turned to walk away. “Maybe I should go and get one of our friends. Maybe they’ll be able to talk you out of this nonsense and figure out what’s wrong with you.”
“No, wait,” Octavia heard after only only taking a few steps. She turned back around to see Applejack bowing her head in shame.
Applejack let out a weary sigh. “Alright, you win,” she said as she sat back down. “Ah was up all night thinkin’ about what happened yesterday with your music lesson. It wasn’t fair of me brushin’ you off just like that, and Ah been feelin’ terrible about it. It’s just that… well… Ah pretty much play whenever Ah feel troubled, so it’s kind of a sore subject for me to talk about. Still, Ah’m goin’ to try my best to help you. It’s the right thing to do.”
Octavia sat down in front of Applejack, a small smile on her face. “Applejack, I really appreciate that you are doing so much for me, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are exhausted. We can continue where we left off tomorrow. You need rest.”
Applejack shook her head. “No, Ah need to make it up to you. Ah would sleep a lot easier as well if we are able to do somethin’ today.”
“But—”
Applejack raised a hoof for silence. “Ah need to do this.”
“Are you sure?”
Applejack smirked. “Darn sure.”
It was Octavia’s turn to concede and sigh. “Alright, fine, but if I see you get worse, you are going to to rest even if I have to knock you out myself.”
Applejack chuckled. “Sounds good to me.”
As they made their way towards the clearing, Octavia kept a close eye on Applejack. Other than walking at a slightly slower pace, Applejack navigated through the apple orchard just fine. She was pleased that they arrived at the clearing without incident.
“So how about we start with me playing today?” Octavia suggested as she watched Applejack sit down at the base of the large tree.
“Alright then. Do Ah have to do anythin’?”
“Well, I was thinking that you could listen to my music. Maybe you would be able to tell me if there is something wrong with my music,” Octavia replied. Having her play also meant that Applejack would get a bit more time to take it easy.
“Fair enough, Ah’m willin’ to give anythin’ a try,” Applejack agreed to Octavia’s relief.
Octavia unpacked her cello while Applejack set down her case. Gripping her cello in her hooves, Octavia gazed upon the polished wood. It had only been a few days since she had last played it, but she had already missed holding the cello and looking at it once again brought a smile to her face.
“Judgin’ by how you’re gawkin’ at it, it looks like there’s a bit of a history with that cello,” Applejack remarked.
Octavia nodded. “My parents and I picked this one out before I left them to move to Canterlot. They have done so much for me, and I love them with all my heart. This cello reminds me of their love, and it’s like holding a piece of my old home.”
“I see,” was Applejack’s only reply.
Octavia looked up at the terse answer. “Is something the matter, Applejack?”
Applejack quickly shook her head. “No, it’s just that Ah understand what you’re sayin’.”
Octavia stared at Applejack, unsure of what to make of the response.
Applejack yawned. “So, how about you go ahead and play somethin’?”
“Oh… um… alright,” Octavia replied as she scrambled to stand up straight and bring her bow to the cello’s strings.
Mentally going through music pieces in her head, she decided to play one of her concert pieces. After all, after practicing them so much, they were practically ingrained into her memory. Quickly running through the piece in her mind, she took a deep breath and then started playing.
She picked a slow song to try and match the tempo of the music she had heard Applejack play the first time she saw her. As she played, mentally checking each note in her head, she carefully moved her bow along the strings, not missing a single beat and maintaining the music’s rhythm. Her eyes closed as she concentrated on the song, wanting to put on the best show she could for Applejack.
At the end of the song, she opened her eyes to the sound of Applejack’s applause.
“That was great, sugarcube,” Applejack cheered.
“Thank you. So… um… do you have any suggestions for me?” Octavia asked sheepishly.
“Hmm.” Applejack brought a hoof to her chin in thought. “Well, Ah do think somethin’ was a bit off.”
Octavia’s face lit up as a wide smile appeared on her face. “Yes, what was it?”
Applejack blinked. “Uh… right… Just give me a moment.”
Octavia raised an eyebrow at Applejack’s odd response. She watched in silence as Applejack folder her hooves across her chest, silently muttering to herself.
“Well,” Applejack began after spending a few moments pondering the matter, “Ah got to be honest. Ah don’t know.”
Octavia’s smile disappeared. “Wait, what? That can’t be. You must know something.”
Applejack sighed. “Sorry, but like Ah said, Ah just learned from experience. Ah didn’t really have any real lessons, so Ah don’t know much about the technical stuff. Ah don’t know what makes music good or not.”
“Please. Anything will help,” Octavia frantically begged.
Applejack stared at the ground as she slowly shook her head.
“B-but.” Octavia let out a loud groan as she leaned her back on the tree and slowly slumped down into a seated position, her bow and cello slowly slipping out of her grasp and onto the grass.
She silently sat there as her head drooped down. She was so sure Applejack would hold the answer, but so far, each music lesson led to disappointment. She clenched her eyes shut when she felt her eyes beginning to tear up.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Applejack said, grabbing Octavia’s attention.
Octavia quickly used a hoof to wipe her eyes. “Y-yes, what is it?”
“What’s so important about your music?”
Octavia blinked. “Well, it’s what I do for a living. I spent all my life playing and learning about it. I’m successful because of my music. Without it, I’m a nopony.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Is that it? It kind of sounds like you’re treatin’ your music playin’ as a job.”
Octavia looked at Applejack, her eyes slightly widened in surprise. “No, that’s not it.” As her eyes drifted towards the ground, a faint smile appeared on her face. “Even when I was little, I loved playing music, especially for my parents. When I got my cutie mark, they were so happy and immediately did all they could to nurture my talent.”
A warm smile appeared on Applejack’s face. “Sounds like your parents really loved you.”
Octavia nodded. “They did. They never stopped encouraging me and helped me find the best music teachers and classes. I guess part of the reason I want to stay successful is to show what all their support had done for me. I want to make them proud.”
“Now that’s a darn good reason to play music,” Applejack stated. “Do you think about them while you play?”
“Oh, um… no.”
“Then what are you thinking about?”
“I pretty much am always thinking about the piece I’m playing. By keeping my mind on what’s coming up next, I can plan out my movements and avoid mistakes.”
Applejack quickly sat up and stared at Octavia. “Seriously?”
Octavia gave a slight jump at Applejack’s reaction. “Excuse me?”
“You’re so busy worryin’ about making a mistake that you miss the point of playin’ music. Music isn’t just a bunch of notes that you play just for others to listen to. You also have to put your heart in it, so your playin’ it for yourself. You have to put your emotion and feelings into the music. Without it, the music has no meanin’ and is nothin’ but a hollow shell.”
Octavia stared wide-eyed and her mouth agape at Applejack. “B-but what if I make a mistake? Wouldn’t that ruin the music?”
“If you think you’re goin’ to make a mistake, it’s goin’ to happen. You have to let the music flow naturally through you.” Applejack shifted herself so she was next to Octavia and touched her head with a hoof. “You got to stop playin’ usin’ this,” she said then moved her hoof down to Octavia’s chest, “and start playin’ usin’ this.”
Octavia looked down at Applejack’s hoof. “This… this is quite a lot to take in. I’ve been playing like this for as long as I can remember, and it has done so much for me.”
Applejack lifted Octavia’s head with her hoof and stared into her eyes. “Then why the hay did you come to me?”
Octavia’s jaw moved but not a word or sound was uttered.
“The way Ah see it, those music schools teach you how to play, but they can’t teach you how to feel. That’s somethin’ you have to learn for yourself.”
Octavia was sitting silently, staring at her hooves, as Applejack talked. Applejack’s words stung, but as she thought about it, they were true.
“Octavia? You there?”
Her musical training had groomed her to perform in front of others. All those years she spent studying and practicing came at a cost. The love and passion she once felt from her music had faded away, replaced by rote instruction. She had become a puppet who performed only for the entertainment of others.
A hoof on her shoulder shook Octavia out of her thoughts. Following the hoof with her eyes, she looked up to see Applejack’s face wrought with concern. “Hey, you alright, sugarcube?” asked the orange mare.
Octavia sighed as she once again bowed her head. “How would you feel if everything you believed in for all your life was suddenly shattered in one day?”
Applejack sat there in silence as she continued to stare at Octavia.
“I’ve been training all my life to be a renowned musician, and I thought it was all I need. But I was wrong. My music might be perfect to others, but to me, it means nothing. I just don’t know what to do.”
Applejack’s hoof left her shoulder. “Then let me help you,” she heard Applejack say. Soon after, she heard the sound of Applejack’s fiddle playing.
Octavia looked up at Applejack. Her eyes were closed and a smile was on her face as she played her music. The bow was slowly drawn across the strings, creating a resounding melody that rang loud and clear.
A small smile appeared on Octavia’s face as she leaned back and closed her eyes, letting out a small sigh. As she continued to listen to the uplifting tune, she felt her hopes rekindled that everything will eventually be alright. All thanks to Applejack.
Suddenly, she was broken out of her trance when she felt a heavy weight crash into her side as the music jerked to a stop. Quickly opening her eyes, Octavia checked to see what happened. What she saw only made her eyes widen even more.
Applejack had finally fallen asleep and was now leaning on her. As she looked down at Applejack’s head now resting on her shoulder, she could feel a blush appearing on her face.
Yet despite the awkward situation, Octavia smiled. The orange mare had done so much for her and was willing to stick by her side to help her find her way. Applejack was a true friend, and she would be lost without her.
“Thank you, Applejack.”
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Yayyy! Is this a TaviJack ship? (Or whatever it is you call Octavia and Applejack)
4250539
Yep, and as far as I know, this is the first "long" story to ship them.
thank you for this chapter!
I hope for more soon!
AppleTavi... Octajack.
This chapter feels like the culmination of what should have happened in two weeks instead of one day.
Great chapter. A difficult realization for Octavia, but an important one.
Author,
Out of curiosity, what made you want to ship Octavia and Applejack?
7246579
I wanted to write a unique pairing, and I saw a plausible way to get them together. This fic is pretty much the only one that has ever shipped Octavia and Applejack, at least on Fimfiction.
7247147 True. Much respect for that.- The Shipshelf
7247147
Yeah and it's a great tale.
Music comes from the heart not the mind.