• Published 3rd Feb 2014
  • 5,376 Views, 406 Comments

Fiddling with Her Heart - Kevinltk



Octavia is one of the most renowned musicians in Equestria, and yet she feels something is missing in her music. A seemingly normal trip to Ponyville changes everything when she hears the sound of a fiddle coming from the apple orchards.

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Chapter 30: The Last Day

The castle in Canterlot was buzzing with activity as ponies ran back and forth. It had taken a few days, but the cleanup from the royal wedding was finally just about done, and it was time to resume dealing with the aftermath of the changeling invasion.

And Octavia paid no heed to any of it as she made her way through the building. She had only thing on her mind.

On the night when she revealed her feelings to Applejack, she was left heartbroken and alone in the middle of the streets. She barely remembered how she dragged herself back to her house and collapse into her bed.

The next day was hardly any better as the pain and sorrow continued to stir within her heart. Nearly the entire day was spent alone holed up at home with her thoughts, but she eventually came to one conclusion. She had to find out why Applejack turned her down.

Octavia attempted to confront her friend, but to her utter dismay, it was proving to be difficult because of one horrifying reason. Applejack was avoiding her.

Whenever she tried to talk with Applejack, the mare would make some sort of excuse and beat a hasty retreat. When their friends had started to ask what was going on between the two of them, all Octavia told them was that it was a private matter. Judging by their confusion and frustration, it seemed that Applejack had given them a similar response. Despite voicing their concerns and worries, the others agreed to her request to give them some time to try and handle the matter themselves.

Time and time again Octavia confronted Applejack, but the orange mare refused to say more than a few words to her. She even asked their friends to see if they could get Applejack’s attention, but all that they could obtain was an apology and a vague promise that they would talk later.

Octavia started to fear that perhaps her constant prodding was putting too much pressure on her friend and actually driving her away. As a result, she ceased her attempts to contact Applejack and hoped that her friend would come to her instead.

Waiting proved to be an even more torturous experience. At least while she was chasing Applejack around, she had something to do instead of idly sitting around. With nothing to do, she frequently found herself restlessly pacing around to stew in her worries and fears that weighed heavily on her heart.

Her waiting proved to be a fruitless endeavor as the last day before Applejack and the others were set to return to Ponyville had arrived. With time running out, Octavia had enough and vowed to get things settled.

Taking a deep breath, Octavia rounded a corner inside the castle that led to a hallway full of doors. She had came through this way numerous times over the course of the wedding preparations and knew that behind each door was a small suite that were given to guests.

She paused in front of one of the entrances and stared at it. Taking a deep breath, she slowly raised one of her forehooves up to the door. The hoof trembled in the air for a few seconds until it finally made contact with the door. The resulting sound probably would have barely been heard by anypony who was standing next to her, let alone on the other side of the door, but to Octavia, it felt like it echoed throughout the entire empty hallway.

She was not sure how long she stood silently in front of the door before she let out a sigh. Another knock on the door was made, this time producing a sound that resonated clearly in the air.

Again, Octavia waited, but the door remain closed.

After a while, Octavia rapped on the door once again, but this time she added, “A-Applejack? Are you there? I-it’s me, Octavia. You probably still don’t want to talk, but we really need to do this before you leave for Ponyville.”

She strained her ears to try and listen for any sounds but heard nothing. Either Applejack was not in her room, or pretending not to be. Whatever the reason, she was determined to see Applejack, whether she liked it or not.

“Applejack, if you’re in there, I am not going to move from this spot until you agree to talk,” Octavia proclaimed before sitting down on her haunches and prepared for what was probably going to be a long wait.

To her surprise, she heard the sounds of soft hoofsteps slowly approach the door a few seconds later, causing her to immediately spring back onto her hooves.

Her heart leapt at the sound of the door’s lock click open, and when it started to slowly open, she called out, “Apple—” only to pause because she had to look down at who had answer the door. “—Bloom?”
“Hey, Octavia…” the filly groggily greeted while rubbing one of her closed eyes with a hoof. Her mane had a few licks of hair out of place, and the bow that was usually on her head was absent.

Octavia’s confused look quickly changed into a concerned frown. “Oh, I’m sorry, Apple Bloom, did I wake you?”

“It’s alright,” Apple Bloom replied before letting out a yawn. “Sorry, Ah didn’t answer earlier. Ah heard you knock earlier, but Ah thought it was just somethin’ else. Ah didn’t realize it was you until you started talkin’.”

“Oh,” was all Octavia muttered. With all the turmoil going on, she had forgotten that the two sisters were sharing the same room during their stay in Canterlot.

“Did you need anythin’? Ah recognized your voice, but Ah couldn’t hear what you were actually sayin’.”

Octavia let out a small sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small favors. I don’t think I’m up to explaining what’s going on between me and Applejack to her quite yet.

“I actually need to speak with Applejack. Is she in?” Octavia asked.

“Nope,” Apple Bloom replied, causing Octavia to let out a small groan. “She told me that she was goin’ to your place before Ah went to sleep.”

Octavia’s body stiffened in attention. “Sh-she is?” she asked, receiving a nod in return.

She felt her anxiety grow as she tried to figure out what made Applejack suddenly go looking for her, but amidst the worry, she felt a spark of hope also flicker on.

“Um, Octavia,” Apple Bloom said, ending her musing, “could Ah ask you somethin’?”

“Of course,” Octavia replied with a small smile.

“Did… did somethin’ happen between you and Applejack?” Apple Bloom softly asked.

Octavia’s smile disappeared. So much for small favors.

“What makes you say that?” Octavia asked, trying to find a way to evade the question.

“Well, it’s kind of obvious Applejack has been tryin’ to avoid you,” Apple Bloom pointed out. “Ah tried askin’ her why she was doin’ that, but she wouldn’t tell me. Not only that, but even when you’re not around she acts all weird.”

“Weird? How so?”

“Sometimes, when she thinks she’s by herself, I can hear her talkin’ quietly to herself, and Ah’m pretty sure she’s talkin’ about you. Ah even heard her say your name a few times while she was asleep.”

Octavia bit her lip, not knowing if that was a good or bad thing.

“You two didn’t have a fight, did you?” Apple Bloom asked with a big frown on her face.

“No, we didn’t,” Octavia replied. At least I don’t think we did, she added to herself.

“Then why is Applejack doin’ all this weird stuff and mumblin’ about you?”

“Apple Bloom…” Octavia sighed. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think it is my place to tell you if Applejack does not want you to know.”

“Aww,” Apple Bloom groaned with a pout. “First Applejack won’t tell me why, and now you. Ah hate it when other ponies think Ah’m too young to understand things. It’s not like Ah’m dumb.”

“Apple Bloom,” Octavia said as she laid down on her stomach, lowering herself to the filly’s height. “Applejack and I would never think you’re dumb. The two of us are going through a bit of a difficult time. It’s just that the both of us would prefer to keep it to ourselves, at least for the time being. What happened between us… well to be honest, I’m not too sure either. It’s complicated, and that’s why I’m looking for her. I want to clear things up before all of you leave for Ponyville.”

“Wait, you mean you’re not comin’ back with us?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I… I don’t know,” Octavia confessed.

“But why?” Apple Bloom whined. “Didn’t you like livin’ in Ponyville?”

“Of course I did, but don’t forget Canterlot was my home before Ponyville, and I also have a career as a professional musician here.”

“Then why don’t you get a job at Ponyville?” Apple Bloom suggested, her voice becoming more frantic and higher pitched.

“Apple Bloom…” Octavia bit her lip. She knew Apple Bloom would not take the news well, and it was starting to get difficult to keep her composure while seeing the filly in distress.

“Ah know!” Apple Bloom almost shouted. “You can live with us at Sweet Apple Acres! That way you don’t have to worry about bits. It’ll be just like—”

“Apple Bloom, that’s enough.”

Octavia and Apple Bloom turned their heads to see Applejack walking down the hall towards them with an expressionless face.

“Applejack!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Tell Octavia that she can stay—”

“Apple Bloom, Ah said that’s enough,” Applejack stated again. Even though her tone was stern, her face remained unchanged.

“But—”

“Octavia has to do what’s best for her,” Applejack said. “It wouldn’t be right of us to stand in her way.”

“But…” Apple Bloom’s cheeks puffed up in frustration. A few seconds later, she let it out with a big sigh. “Ah guess…”

“Good. Now, could you go hang out with one of your friends for a while? Octavia and Ah need some time alone.”

“Aww, why can’t Ah stay? Ah want to know what’s goin’ on!”

“This is between the two of us, and we won’t be able to talk if you’re around. Now, get movin’.”

“Fine!” Apple Bloom loudly snapped with a huff before trotting off.

Octavia let out a sigh as she watched Apple Bloom stomp down the hall. Turning her attention to Applejack, she saw that she was holding the door open and silently motioning her inside with a hoof.

Octavia stepped into a sizeable room that was equipped with a large bed and various other amenities for a comfortable stay. She took a seat near the center of the room and looked to see Applejack was still standing by the closed door.

The two of them stared at each other for what was probably less than a minute before Octavia opened her mouth, only to stop when Applejack raised her hoof.

Applejack opened the door to reveal Apple Bloom looking back at them with widened eyes. “Apple Bloom, you know it’s not right to eavesdrop.”

Apple Bloom’s surprised face quickly morphed into a frown. “But Ah have to find out what’s wrong.”

Applejack pointed a hoof out the door. “Go.”

“Ah’m goin’, Ah’m goin’,” Apple Bloom grumbled as she walked away and Applejack closed the door.

Octavia waited a few seconds before saying, “Applejack, I—”

Once again, Applejack stopped her with a hoof. A moment later, she flung the door open, and Apple Bloom fell through the doorway.

“Apple Bloom…” Applejack muttered with a sigh.

“Ah know, Ah know. Ah’m sorry, okay?” Apple Bloom apologized as she scrambled to her hooves. “But can you blame me? You two have been actin’ all weird, and Ah’m worried.”

“Apple Bloom,” Octavia spoke up. “I’m sorry this has been hard for you, but we really do need our privacy. We’re not ready to talk about what happened to anypony else, and if you keep on trying to listen in on us, we won’t be able to fix anything.”

Apple Bloom sighed and hung her head. “Alright fine, no more sneakin’ around.”

“Thank you,” Octavia said as Apple Bloom slowly dragged herself out of the room.

Before Applejack could shut the door again, Apple Bloom turned back around and looked back at Octavia, her eyes now beginning to glisten with tears. “Ah really do like havin’ you around, Octavia. Ah hope you come back to Ponyville with us.”

Octavia felt her breath hitch, and all she could do was give the poor filly a small nod. She continued to stare at where Apple Bloom was even after Applejack closed the door and took a seat across from her.

Minutes ticked by as the two of them silently sat there. Even though they were not staring at each other, Octavia caught Applejack’s eyes flick towards her, not that she was guilty of doing the same to her.

“You know why I’m here, right?” Octavia started.

“Yea,” was all Applejack said back.

“We have to settle this matter now.”

“Yea.”

Octavia turned to look at Applejack with a frown. “I was hoping after all this time you would be saying more than just ‘Yea’.”

Applejack sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry.”

“Applejack!” Octavia boomed. “Be serious about this. You have been avoiding me for the past few days, and it is getting out of control. It’s not only hurting me. Do you realize what this is doing to other ponies? Our friends have been asking why we have been acting differently because they’re confused and worried for us. For goodness sake, we just saw how Apple Bloom is being affected by all this!”

“Ah know!” Applejack shot back, turning to face her. “Ah can see that this is hard for the others as well.”

“Then why?” Octavia asked. “Why are you running away? Why can’t we talk things over?”

Applejack sighed. “Look, Ah’m sorry for runnin’ away from you when you told me your feelins’. Ah panicked. The thing is, it didn’t get better the next day, and that’s why Ah’ve been actin’ all funny.”

“You could have at least told me something. Anything would have been better than just leaving me in the dark.”

“Ah know, and Ah’m sorry. It’s just that Ah had so much to think about, and Ah couldn’t make up my mind. Ah knew that Ah had to make a decision about you, and Ah thought it would be easier to do that if you weren’t around.”

“You…” Octavia stopped and shook her head. “Never mind. Did you at least figure something out?”

“Maybe… First, there’s one thing Ah would like to know. After what Ah put you through, do you… do you still love me?”

Octavia’s eyes drifted towards the ground. “Applejack, you ran away from me and left me alone that night. It made me feel awful, but even so, I can understand why you might have done that. What really hurts is what you did afterwards. Do you know how terrible I felt when I realized you were avoiding me? I was devastated. I thought that you never wanted to see me again. I thought that I had ruined everything between us.”

Octavia sighed. “You really made the last few days a nightmare, so forgive me if I’m a bit upset with you.” She looked back up at Applejack. “But despite all that, my answer is yes. I still love you. I really did mean everything I said on that night.”

“Ah see…” Applejack uttered quietly as her gaze went on to stare at nothing in particular.

When Applejack did not continue, Octavia spoke up, grabbing the other mare’s attention. “Applejack, there’s something I would like to know. Did you really mean what you said after I told you I loved you? Do you really believe it would not work between us?”

Applejack slowly nodded her head.

“I see…” Octavia said, feeling her heart sink. “Is it… is it because you don’t feel the same way I do for you?”

All Applejack responded with was to silently turn her head away. Even though not a word was said, it spoke volumes to Octavia.

“I… I guess I have my answer then,” Octavia remarked in a voice barely above a whisper. Even though Applejack’s actions from the past few days had already led her to believe that this was going to happen, she still clung onto the faint belief that maybe it would turn out for the better, but now that last spark of hope was extinguished.

The two of them silently sat there as Octavia was left to her thoughts while Applejack continued to do her best to avoid looking at her.

“Ah’m sorry things had to end up like this,” Applejack softly apologized after a while.

“Yea, me too,” Octavia replied before slowly shaking her head. “What do I do now?” she muttered, not quite sure if she was asking Applejack or herself.

“Well, do you still plan on comin’ to Ponyville?” Applejack asked. “You said you wanted to move because of me, but considerin’… well, you know…”

Octavia sighed. “I admit that the idea does seem less desirable, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely out of the picture.”

Applejack quickly turned to look at her with slightly widened eyes. “Wait, you’re still thinkin’ of movin’ to Ponyville?”

“It is a possibility,” admitted Octavia. “Just because it didn’t work out between us, doesn’t mean there are other things in Ponyville for me. I had already also looked into several things, so it would not be hard to make the move. I do very much enjoy spending time with our friends, many of the ponies there are much more welcoming than Canterlot’s less open minded population, and I’m sure Apple Bloom would be delighted to have me.”

“What about us?” Applejack asked. “Don’t you think it might be a bit… um awkward?”

“Perhaps, but it is just a phase that will surely fade after a while. Our friendship has survived through more difficult trials.”

“What about your music and your career?”

“That has come up quite a few times, hasn’t it, but I figured out what I want to do about it. I’m no longer the same pony who was obsessed with being the perfect musician. The more time I spend with you and the others, the more I realize how competitive and stressful the music business can be. While I still love music, all the backend things that have to be done to make it a career can be very draining. I done the calculations, and it’s entirely possible for me to get by without having to travel to Canterlot too much. If needed, I’m sure I can find something suitable to do on the side. I’m not going to have the so called glamorous lifestyle I have in Canterlot anymore, but I’ll have something better. Friends.”

“What about that couple you’re friends with, Fancy Pants and Fleur?” Applejack asked. “Sorry if this sounds harsh, but wouldn’t it be kind of bad to leave them for our friends?”

“They actually are supportive about my move,” Octavia replied. “I told them about the possibility before the second wedding. While they were a bit sad about the news, it actually works out rather well. Turns out that the two of them had really taken a shine to Rarity’s business. Between her and my stories from Ponyville, the two of them plan to visit Ponyville often. The thing about them is that since they wield a lot of influence, oftentimes, others have to schedule around their plans instead of the other way around.”

“How about um… housing?”

Octavia raised an eyebrow. “Did you forget the place Fancy Pants allowed me to stay at? I already asked him if I could purchase it. While he tried to give it to me for way below it was supposed to cost, I insisted on paying for the full price. We finally settled on meeting each other halfway, so I’ll be acquiring the house at a slightly reduced price.”

“Well, what about—”

“Applejack, why do I get the feeling you don’t want me to move to Ponyville?” Octavia interrupted.

“W-why would you think that?” Applejack asked with an enormous grin.

“All you have been doing is question my decision to move to Ponyville. Even though we aren’t going to be special someponies, I would at least think that as a friend you would be more receptive.”

“A-Ah’m just lookin’ out for you and makin’ sure you’re doin’ what’s right for you.”

Octavia stared at Applejack for a few seconds before stating, “You’re hiding something from me.”

Applejack jerked back. “W-what do you mean?”

“We have spent a lot of time together and shared many conversations. We each saw a side of each other that nopony else got to see. It’s not unusual that I can sometimes sense there’s something else behind your words, and right now, you’re hiding something from me.”

“Ah… But… It’s…”

“It’s me, isn’t it?” Octavia softly answered for Applejack.

“No! Well… Not really… Ah mean…” Applejack groaned and covered her face with her forehooves. “Consarn it.”

“Applejack, ever since that night, you have been pushing me away. We used to be so close and were able to tell each other anything. Have things changed that much?”

“Please, Octavia, just stay in Canterlot,” Applejack begged.

Octavia flinched. “So it is true, you don’t want me in Ponyville. Why?”

Applejack sighed as her forehooves dropped back to the floor. “Ah… Ah was really hopin’ Ah could avoid this part. The thing is, while Ah was alone with my thoughts, Ah also reached a decision on somethin’ else. Trouble is, Ah’m not sure how you’re goin’ to take it, especially since Ah turned you down.”

“We’re here to settle things once and for all. Whatever it may be, good or bad, we need to discuss it.”

Applejack bit her lip and averted her eyes away from Octavia. “Ah… Ah think it would be best if we took a break from each other.”

Octavia stared at Applejack with wide eyes for a few moments before jumping onto her hooves. “What?!” she shouted. “Why?! Why would you want this?”

“Ah’m doin’ this because Ah want to keep you safe. Look, you know as well as Ah do that the others and Ah have to deal with some dangerous stuff. Ah can’t have a repeat of what happened durin’ the invasion.”

“Applejack, I appreciate the concern, and I’m sorry that my injuries caused you so much worry, but I can take care of myself.”

“Then how come you ended up in the hospital?” Applejack asked.

Octavia winced. “That’s… that’s different. A lot of ponies were injured by the changelings, and it’s entirely possible that I could have gotten hurt one way or another.”

“Then what’s gonna happen the next time Ah have to go off on some adventure? Would you be okay with trustin’ that Ah will be fine?”

“I…” Octavia started before biting her lip. She knew what she would do if the situation came up, but if she told the truth, it would only support Applejack’s argument. She could not bring herself to even pretend to do the opposite.

“That’s what Ah thought,” Applejack remarked when Octavia remained silent. “You’re not the only pony who feels the same way. We have our family and other friends who worry about us, but they get that it’s better to let us be. Ah know this is not what you want, but this is for your own good.”

“I understand that I’m not some sort of hero or a bearer of powerful magic like you are, but if I had the opportunity to help out, I would take it.” Octavia let out a sigh. “But I also understand that sometimes there’s nothing I can do. If my safety is such a huge concern for you, then fine. I cannot promise you anything, but I’ll try to control myself even though I know I will not like it.”

“Ah still would feel better if you stayed in Canterlot,” said Applejack.

Octavia groaned. “I already told you that I would do my best to restrain myself. Besides, does it really matter where I’m staying? You’re being unreasonable.”

“Why won’t you just listen to me?” Applejack asked desperately. “Ah can’t… Ah don’t want you gettin’ hurt.”

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Octavia asked even though she knew the answer.
“Ah… Yea…” Applejack admitted. “Ah don’t really want to say it either, but Ah’m guessin’ you won’t let me be until Ah do.”

“That would be correct.”

Applejack sighed. “With everythin’ that had happened, it’s like there’s a huge mess in my head. My mind wanders off all the time, and it’s hard for me to think straight. Ah have so many things to take care of, and Ah can’t afford bein’ distracted. Ah think the quickest way to clear my head is to get away from what’s causin’ it all, and that somethin’ is… well, you,” she explained, turning her head away at the last part.

“Applejack, I…” Octavia made a small growl before regaining her composure. “Look, I know you have a lot of responsibilities, but you’re just running away from the problem instead of dealing with it.”

“Ah’m sorry, this isn’t easy on me either, but Ah really do think some alone time to—”

“This is more than just needing some alone time!” Octavia cried out. “You’re asking to put our friendship on hold, but that’s not how it works! You can’t just turn it on and off when you feel like it! We’re supposed to solve the issue together!”

“Octavia, please, don’t make this harder than it already is. Just… just let me be,” Applejack weakly pleaded.

Octavia let out a huff. “Alright, fine. Let’s assume I do go along with your request. What about me?” she asked, placing a hoof on her chest. “What am I supposed to do in the meantime? How long do I have to wait until you are ready?” Her gaze turned into a stern glare. “Or are you saying that this is the end for us?”

“Ah… Ah dunno…”

“You… you…” Octavia froze as she felt her heart stop for a moment. She stared at Applejack for a few moments with her mouth agape before sinking to her haunches.

“Alright, I get it,” Octavia continued in a quieter voice, staring at the floor. “You don’t want me around anymore. I cause you to worry about me when you have to go save the world, and you can’t concentrate on your apple farming when I’m around. You have more important things to deal with. All I am is just a distraction.”

“Now hold on!” Applejack cried out. “Ah—”

“Do you know that I was scared to tell you my feelings when I found out I loved you?” Octavia continued, ignoring Applejack’s reply. “I did not know how you were going to react or how it would affect our friendship. There were quite a few times where I was tempted to just keep it to myself. Princess Cadance helped convince me to go through with it, but the main reason I went ahead was because of all the times we spent together. I thought that with everything we been through, we would still be friends even if things didn’t work out between us.”

Octavia sighed. “Guess… guess I was wrong. I tried talking to you, and when that did not work out, I tried waiting for you. All that pain and effort was just to hear you don’t want me around. These few days have been the worst days of my life, and now you want me to go through even more? It’s… it’s just too much. I’m done.”

“W-what are you sayin’?”

Octavia remained silent for a few moments before responding. “If you want me to stay in Canterlot, if that is what you really want, I’ll do it. I still do care for you, but I just don’t have it in me to continue chasing or waiting for you. Applejack, if you let me walk out this door, don’t… don’t expect me to come looking for you again.”

With her ultimatum stated, Octavia slowly stood up and made her way to the entrance. Right before she placed her hoof on the doorknob, she froze.

“Octavia…” came Applejack’s voice from behind her, but she just stood still, not turning to face the other pony.

“Ah’m… Ah’m sorry… Ah really am. Ah didn’t mean for all this to happen,” Applejack softly apologized.

Octavia turned her head slightly, just enough to be able to glance at Applejack out of the corner of her eye. All she saw was the orange mare still seated in the same spot, staring down at the floor with a forlorn look.

Octavia gazed at Applejack for a few seconds before turning back to the door.

“Goodbye, Applejack,” Octavia quietly said as she opened the door and stepped out.

As soon as she closed the door, she gave a small gasp. Her legs wobbled, and she felt a dull ache had formed in her chest. Panting heavily, she stood in front of Applejack’s room, with one forehoof clutching her chest.

Glancing behind her, Octavia bit her lip and then shook her head. Taking one more deep breath, she started making her way out of the castle. She maintained a steady march and a stoic face the entire trek back to her house, barely paying any attention to her surroundings. Her vacant expression remained even when she opened her door and stepped inside her house.

She did not make it past a few steps before she collapsed onto the floor, buckling under the weight of what happened between she and Applejack. She had left the house to mend their friendship, instead everything had been ruined.

She had never felt so alone in her entire life.