Spitfire is at the top of her game ,the best of the best.Someponys would say she has everything.But how wrong they are. Dealing with her heart being broken by her ex,while only her Wonderbolts teammates by her side to cheer her up.While they deal wi
Ok for starters you can't get hit by thunder. It's just the noise caused by lightning. Secondly, when you start a new paragraph you need to indent the beginning of it. Third, watch your punctuation there are several instances of you just tossing a period into the middle of a sentence or skipping lines for no apparent reason Fourth, watch your tense. For example:
You saw how Cadence rain down hell onto anypony who dare to tell her. That Shining Armor wasn't worthy, to courted the Royal blood of the Alicorn Princess. "
should be:
You saw how Cadence rained down hell onto anypony who dared to tell her that Shining Armor wasn't worthy to court the Royal blood of the Alicorn Princess."
3808168 Like I have said in the past I have dysblitys Dysprixa and some bit of Dyslexia.Which effects my spelling and gramra. So Im looking for a beta for this story.
Since thardoc is beta my 2 other story's with his helpers. An I think it bit unfair to keep puting more of my story's to be beta by them. When their other story's Thardoc betas too.
But I will be posting the 2nd chapter up in,a few days time
3813575 So, I was just about ready to complain about the grammar and such, and then I read that you have Dyslexia. So...yea. For having that disability, I say that you still did a decent job, and even if it isn't the best, it is still readable and understandable, which is more then I can say to a lot of other stories that I have read before. Anyways, keep it up, and I hope to see more of this soon.
Ok for starters you can't get hit by thunder. It's just the noise caused by lightning.
Secondly, when you start a new paragraph you need to indent the beginning of it.
Third, watch your punctuation there are several instances of you just tossing a period into the middle of a sentence or skipping lines for no apparent reason
Fourth, watch your tense.
For example:
should be:
mmer needs but a great story looking forward
grammatical errors. besides that this story is awesome!
MOAR
3751640 Yeah I get mic between the 2 plus use to thunder as a attack in pokemon.
Like I said im looking for a beta to sort out those kind of problems. Since of my dysblitys effect my spelling and grammar.
3761526
Thanks
3779013 Like I said im looking for a beta to sort out those kind of problems. Since of my dysblitys effect my spelling and grammar.
3786893 Their will be more
3751640 I have to agree with you. But the Story itself was really good and I hope to read more in the (VERY) near future.
3808168 Like I have said in the past I have dysblitys Dysprixa and some bit of Dyslexia.Which effects my spelling and gramra. So Im looking for a beta for this story.
Since thardoc is beta my 2 other story's with his helpers. An I think it bit unfair to keep puting more of my story's to be beta by them. When their other story's Thardoc betas too.
But I will be posting the 2nd chapter up in,a few days time
I hear you there man Dyslexia fucking sucks, but any way on a happier note love the story.
Also I love WWII planes, and the spitfire is my second favorite,
imagensgratis.com.br/imagens/imagens-imagens-de-avioes-de-guerra-a49b0c.jpg
right behind the P51 Mustang
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/P-51-361.jpg
But all together awesome
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2013/170/b/5/spitfire_flying_with_vintage_friends_by_spitshy-d69tj4r.jpg
Side note: MORE
I thought that was his name to begin with
3813575
So, I was just about ready to complain about the grammar and such, and then I read that you have Dyslexia. So...yea. For having that disability, I say that you still did a decent job, and even if it isn't the best, it is still readable and understandable, which is more then I can say to a lot of other stories that I have read before. Anyways, keep it up, and I hope to see more of this soon.