Writer's Training Grounds Entries

by Yukito

Prompt #7 - I Dare You! (Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo) [Comedy, Slice-of-Life]

“No. Absolutely not,” Diamond Tiara said, crossing her forelegs and tuning away.

“But you have to,” Silver Spoon said with a wry grin. “You lost the bet, now you have to do whatever dare I say.”

“What’s going on?” Alula asked as she approached the two fillies and sat at her seat beside them.

“Diamond and I made a bet on how long it would take for the dweebs’ ‘stupendously amazical magic act’ to backfire on them,” Silver Spoon said, pointing a hoof towards Snips and Snails behind her, who were both frantically trying to save Cheerilee’s dying flowers before the teacher showed up.

“They couldn’t even last a full minute,” Diamond said with a pout.

“And now she has to do what I dare her, and I’m daring her to act like Scootaloo for the rest of the day.”

“Why Scootaloo?” Alula asked.

“Because it’s ‘opposite day’,” Silver Spoon said, adjusting the glasses on her face as a glint appeared in her eye. “And on ‘opposite day’, you act like the pony that is your extreme opposite. It’s a tradition that is hardly even known about today, much less followed.”

“Wait, if we’re talking ‘extreme opposites’, then wouldn’t Apple Bloom be-”

Silver Spoon shook her head. “Apple Bloom is an earth pony.”

“… And?” Alula asked.

“Scootaloo is a pegasus who can’t fly, whilst Diamond Tiara is an earth pony who always has her head in the clouds.”

… “Hey!”

“Ergo, they’re complete opposites.”

Alula gasped and nodded her head in understanding. “I see… As expected of Silver Spoon-sensei. Your knowledge is vast, and your wisdom unmatched!”

“Exactly. Now then, Diamond Tiara, if you will?”

With a heavy sigh and gritted teeth, Diamond Tiara reluctantly reached up to her head and removed her tiara. “The mane, too!” Alula exclaimed, reaching forward and roughing up Diamond Tiara’s mane.

“GET OFF OF ME!” Diamond shouted, pushing Alula back. Silver Spoon and Alula stared in awe at the scruffy mane on their friend’s head, which made it look as she had recently come into contact with a magical socket… or just never came into contact with a manebrush before.

“She’s missing something…” Alula said as she examined the pink filly closely. “I know! She doesn’t have any bandages!”

“Coming right up,” Silver Spoon said as she produced a box of plasters from her bag. “My calculations showed a ninety-eight percent chance of success so I came prepared.”

“One of these days your beloved math will betray you,” Diamond warned as she sat still whilst Silver Spoon applied plasters to her face and her legs.

“Okay, now try to sound like Scootaloo,” Silver Spoon said. “First, you’ve got to introduce yourself to the class.”

Diamond Tiara grumbled as she rose out of her seat and approached the front of the classroom. She cleared her throat, gaining everypony’s attention. “… E-Everypony, I’m… I’m Scootaloo…” She glanced at Silver Spoon, who was motioning for her to continue on. “I… I am like, twenty percent cooler and… stuff!”

Silver Spoon and Alula could barely stifle their laughs, whilst everypony else stared in mixed reactions of confusion and amusement. “What?!” one voice shrieked from the corner of the class. “What d’you think you’re doing?!”

Diamond Tiara turned to Scootaloo. She saw the enraged look on her face. She heard the clear annoyance in her tone. She saw the insulted feeling in her eyes… and grinned. ‘This may not be so bad.’ Diamond cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Yeah! My scooter skills are far out! Totally radical!”

Scootaloo’s face flushed red as more ponies in the class began to laugh. “I don’t talk like that!”

“Check out my sweet moves!” Diamond continued, ignoring the enraged pegasus fuming in the corner.

“Why you-”

“Why is Scootaloo being so loud?” Sweetie Belle asked as she walked into the classroom, looking around with a confused look on her face.

“I’m not!” Scootaloo shouted. “She’s being loud!”

“Diamond’s pretendin’ ta be Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom explained as she approached her friend.

Sweetie Belle turned to Diamond Tiara resting her head on a desk whilst making loud snoring noises. “Class is soooo boring! I wish Rainbow Dash was my teacherrrrrrr!”

“… She’s pretty good at it,” Sweetie Belle said.

“She is not!” Scootaloo argued. “Anyway, this has to stop now!”

Apple Bloom held out a hoof to stop Scootaloo’s advancement towards Diamond Tiara. “Hold on! If ya fight, Miss Cheerilee’ll tell yer parents!”

“Well, what else can I do?”

Sweetie Belle gasped. A demonic grin spread across her face, and for a moment, the face of Tirek seemed to flash behind the filly. “Welllll… you could always try fighting fire with fire…”

“Sweetie Belle, we tried that already,” Apple Bloom reminded, “An’ it didn’t work! It just got us in trouble with the Ponyville Fire Department, and we didn’t get our cutie marks.”

“What I mean, is that Scootaloo could pretend to be Diamond Tiara… I mean, if Diamond Tiara is Scootaloo, then somepony has to be Diamond Tiara, right?”

“… That’s not such a bad idea,” Scootaloo said, matching her friend’s grin as she approached Diamond’s desk, chuckling under her breath.

Silver Spoon gasped as she watched Scootaloo lift Diamond’s tiara from the desk and place it upon her head. “Like, this tiara is simply fabulous!”

Diamond’s ear twitched and she turned her attention towards Scootaloo. “Hey!” Scootaloo turned back to her with a grin that just shouted: ‘problem?’. “Er… D-Don’t you mean radical?!”

“Oh my! Such an uncultured tongue could never give the full beauty of my faux headpiece the proper praise that it deserves,” Scootaloo responded, giving Diamond Tiara a challenging grin.

Diamond’s eye twitched along with her ear. “W-Well your girly makeovers and jewellery could never match the stupid- I mean, stupendous awesomeness amazingness totally coolness of my fake-skateboarding skills!”

Scootaloo lost her grin for a moment as she glared at her opponent. “Like, such a crude, horrendous abuse on the, like, Equestrian language, like like.”

“Hey homies!” Diamond shouted the Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Let’s go hang in the crib dawgs and throw a G to our homegirls in the hood!”

“What did she just say?” Sweetie Belle asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Ah dunno,” Apple Bloom responded. “Ah don’t think she knows, either.”

“Like, oh em gee, like, so totally, like, penniless!” Scootaloo shouted, raising a foreleg to her forehead and feigning a swoon. “Like, daddy spoils me like silly ‘cause I’m like, totally a princess!”

“Gotta go fast!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she began to run around the classroom, tripping over a bag in her haste. She never broke character, though, simply jumping up to her hooves and following with, “That’s no good!”

“Like, how uncouth!” Scootaloo shouted through gritted teeth.

“So totally-mega-super-cool awesome!” Diamond Tiara threw back with her eyes and ears twitching in a pattern.

“I like, totally have Silver Spoon do my homework for me!” Silver Spoon nodded behind Scootaloo.

“I want my cutie mark so bad I cover myself in tree sap all the time!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave reluctant nods behind Diamond tiara.

“Fashion, fashion, colts colts colts!”

“Sport, sports, Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash!”

“Everypony kiss my hooves!”

“Chilli dogs!”

“If you two are quite done, perhaps we can start the lesson?” The room temperature dropped below zero. The noise level feel dead, and a harsh wind blew over the two fillies as they slowly turned their heads, inching them up the magenta fur before their eyes until the face of their angry-looking teacher was in plain view. “Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo, please go wait outside.”

“But she started it!”

“It was her fault!”

“I was just-”

“And then she-”

Cheerilee slammed a forehoof into the floor, stunning the two fillies into silence with the shockwave that it produced. “Now!”

The two fillies groaned and grumbled as they marched the march of shame outside of the classroom, their heads hung low. As they left through the door, Diamond Tiara took her tiara back and placed it upon her head.

And so the two waited in silence as the door closed shut behind them. “… Nice going, Dumband Tiara,” Scootaloo said in a flat tone.

“It was your fault, Scootafool,” Diamond responded. “Can’t you like, take a joke?”

“Look who’s talking. I impersonated you perfectly, and you made me look like an idiot!”

“You are an idiot! And you did so not do me perfectly!” Diamond Tiara flicked her mane, which barely moved in its roughed-up state. “I am a lady, not a… whatever you call that despicable performance in there.”

“And I’m not some Rainbow Dash-obsessed dweeb who only knows three words!”

“Could’ve fool me,” Diamond muttered as she turned her head away.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“You said something.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn’t!”

“JUST KISS ALREADY!”

Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo turned to the now-open door where Cheerilee was standing. They looked past Cheerilee and to Shady Daze, who gave a nervous laugh as all eyes fell on him.

Cheerilee shook her head and closed the door behind her, allowing her to deal with the two fillies in private. “Now girls, this is the fifth time this week that the two of you have gotten into an argument.”

“That’s not so-”

“On a Tuesday,” Cheerilee continued, predicting Diamond Tiara’s response and cutting it off. “Now I don’t want to have to start writing letters home to parents or issuing after-school detentions, but if this keeps up the way it is, I won’t have any choice. So, can the two of you agree to get along from now on, or are we going to have to hold an intervention with all of your parents present?”

“And inter-what-now?” Scootaloo asked.

“It means making something new,” Diamond told the confused filly.

“What are we making?” Scootaloo asked.

“A peace treaty?” Diamond guess with a shrug.

Cheerilee slammed a hoof into her face, but decided to just roll with it. “Yes. That.” She lowered her hoof and gave the two a hard stare. “Well? What will it be?”

The two fillies exchanged looks and then sighed. “Yes,” they both said in unison.

“Yes, what?” Cheerilee prompted.

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee…” The two looked up to see that that wasn’t enough. “… We’ll get along.”

Cheerilee smiled and turned around. “Well then, for now, your punishment will be to sit out of our Arts & Crafts lesson.”

The two fillies moaned as the teacher entered the classroom and shut the door behind herself, leaving the two fillies outside on their own.

And so they sat, in complete silence once more, completely bored whilst the foals inside cheered and laughed together. “… Wanna skip school?” Diamond asked.

Scootaloo gave her a shocked look. “Are you crazy?”

Diamond grinned. “What’s the matter? You chicken?”

Scootaloo growled and bared her teeth. “I’m not a chicken!”

“I bet you are,” Diamond snag in a teasing tone. “In fact, I’ll bet you’re not even ‘cool’ enough to go in there and tell Miss Cheerilee that you’re skipping school!”

“Watch me!” Scootaloo shouted as she rose to her hooves. She put her hoof to the door, but then stopped as she realised something. “… No! I’m not gonna do that!”

Diamond clicked her tongue. “So close.”

“You’re a jerk,” Scootaloo said as she sat back down.

“And you’re easy prey,” Diamond responded. The two looked up towards the sky and watched the clouds for a few moments before Diamond Tiara decided that she was bored again. “… Hey, did you know you get one wish granted if you rub a snail on your cheek?”

Author's Note:

*Slips DT fic onto Equestria Daily and walks away whistling innocently*

Check out the other submissions by various authours here: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2014/02/writers-training-grounds-007-simple.html

Comments

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Dammit, Yukito! I got enough to do without reading your stuff! And laughing at their foalish antics!

[Seether00]

Well, not going to get any writing done today.

Thanks a lot, Yukito.

[iDeltaVelocity]

“Hey homies!” Diamond shouted the Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Let’s go hang in the crib dawgs and throw a G to our homegirls in the hood!”

Gangsta DT

I love it!

[Mattricole]

Sonic reference lol.