Writer's Training Grounds Entries

by Yukito

Prompt #14 - Magical Miracle Cure (Granny Smith) [Random, Comedy]

Prompt: Granny Smith should have read the side effects on the back of the tonic bottle.

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Granny Smith was walking down the road from the farmhouse to Ponyville, just singing to herself whilst enjoying the warmth of the sun on her coat. She stopped to take a breather at a nearby bench, wiping the sweat from her brow and reaching into her bag for a bottle of Flim and Flam’s tonic. Miracle cure or not, that stuff was better than any cider she’d ever tasted.

Granny Smith’s stomach rumbled again. It had been doing that a lot lately and she was beginning to worry. “Maybe ah should see a doctor,” she mumbled to herself as she slowly pushed herself to her hooves. The rumbling started up again, along with some aches and pains that caused the elderly mare to fall to her knees.

“W-What’s happening? It feels like mah dern bones are meltin’…” Granny Smith tilted her head back and unleashed an ear-piercing scream as a blinding light filled the area.

When all was clear again, Granny Smith sat panting in the middle of the road, the pain having subsided but her lungs still begging for fresh oxygen. Wiping the sweat from her brow, Granny Smith slowly clambered to her still-shaking hooves. Deciding it best to check herself, Granny Smith held out one leg before her eyes.

“That’s funny. Was it always so long?” Granny Smith looked behind her shoulder to check her hindquarters, but her view was obstructed by something that made her gasp. A wing. A long, beautiful, green-feathered wing, with a second one on the other side of her body.

“Well ah’ll be! Ah’m a pegasus!” Granny Smith felt something weighing her head down and reached a forehoof up to find a horn protruding from her skull. “Not just a pegasus… Ah’m an alicorn!”

“ALICORN PARTY!” Pinkie Pie screamed as she swung by Granny Smith on a harness with fake wings and a party hat on her forehead.

“But how?” Granny Smith noticed the bottle of tonic on the ground and picked it up. There was a label on the side that she had not noticed before. “‘Warnin’: Side effects may include… alicornation.’? Well ah’ll be a son of a timberwolf!

“With mah newfound powers, ah can return to the superhero life ah’m sure ah had when ah was young! Or maybe that was culinary life…” Granny Smith rubbed a hoof against her chin in thought. “Nah. Pretty sure ah was a superhero at some point. Onward!” Granny Smith bolted into the air, leaving an apple of green apples behind her.

“HELLLLLLLLLP!”

Granny Smith looked down to find Rainbow Dash kicking about in quicksand. “Hold on, filly! Ah’m a-comin’!” Granny Smith zoomed down and grabbed Rainbow’s forehooves, pulling her out and setting her down gently onto nearby land.

“Oh, thank you, Granny Smith!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she hugged the elder mare. “How can I ever repay you?”

“No need. It’s a superhero’s duty, after all.”

Rainbow Dash turned around and extended her wings. “I’m going to go propose to your granddaughter now because we’re totally going out, not like it isn’t obvious!”

“You treat ‘er good now, y’hear?!” Granny Smith called out as Rainbow Dash flew away.

“HELLLLLLLLP!”

Granny Smith sighed. “A hero’s work is never done.” Granny Smith took to the air once more and flew towards the source of the cry for help. She found Diamond Tiara being held hostage by a diamond dog. “You let that filly go right now, ya filthy mutt!” Granny Smith dived down and kicked the dog in face, knocking him unconscious.

“Granny Smith! Thank you so much!” Diamond Tiara nuzzled Granny Smith’s leg affectionately.

“Aw, don’t mention it, little ‘un,” Granny Smith said as she patted the filly’s head. “Ah know Apple Bloom would have never forgiven me if anythin’ happened to her future bride.”

“I totally love your granddaughter and will happily share my family’s wealth when we’re married!” Diamond Tiara declared with a smile.

“HELLLLLLLLLP!”

“Ah gotta go now. Another pony needs me.” Granny Smith blasted through the air, using magic to drop apples to the ponies cheering below her. She landed before a purple earth pony mare with her hoof stuck in a cookie jar. “… Cheerilee,” Granny Smith greeted as she smashed the jar with her magic.

“Oh, thank you, Granny Smith!” Cheerilee bowed in appreciation. “By the way, I hope you’ll give your blessing as I marry your grandson.”

“Er, sure…” Granny Smith scratched the back of her head.

“I’m not good enough?” Cheerilee asked with a look of worry.

“Ah mean, ye’re a nice mare an’ all… but a teacher? Sure ain’t a future Wonderbolt or a rich stallion’s only child, that’s fer sure.” Cheerilee’s ears drooped as her head lowered. “Well, ah guess ya make ‘im happy, at least. Y’all take care now, y’hear?” Granny Smith flapped her wings and rose up into the air. Cheerilee waved up to the mare as she left.

“Ponies of Ponyville!” Granny Smith shouted as she reached the clouds. “Have no fear! Yer friendly neighbourhood apple farmer, is here ta look out fer and protect ya!” The crowds below cheered, and Granny Smith gave a proud smile as the scent of burning reached her nose. “Wait, wha’?”

Granny Smith turned her head to find one of her wings on fire. She looked at her other wing to see it joining in, and the following second they disappeared. With a scream, Granny Smith fell down, plummeting to her doom as the bottle of Flim and Flam’s tonic fell in front of her eyesight.

“‘Warning’: Alicornation is purely temporary. Avoid flyin’ too close ta the sun.’.” Granny Smith continued to scream as her impending doom drew closer and closer.

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“It was yer tonic that did this!” Applejack exclaimed to the two brothers she had managed to track down and lure back with promises of hot apple pie. “She was find before she kept drinkin’ more an’ more of yer stupid tonic! Now fix this!”

“First of all, my dear Applejack, there is no direct proof that this is the result of our tonic!” Flim proclaimed with a dismissive stance.

“But you’re right,” Flam admitted with a similar stance. “Though in fairness, we did warn her.”

“When?” Flim took the bottle of tonic from Applejack’s hooves and pointed to the label on the back. “‘Warnin’: Side effects may include fatigue, deliriousness, an’ speakin’ in tongues if consumed in the bath or taken more than three times an hours. Avoid excessive use.’.” Applejack frowned at the proud grins that the brothers were giving her. “Well then it should’ve been in big, bold text!”

“Yes, but that would have cost extra,” Flim said. “All we needed was the label to avoid potential lawsuits.”

“Relax, my dear Applejack,” Flam said, putting a foreleg around the now-disgruntled-looking mare. “The side effects won’t last long. Perhaps a day or two, at the latest. Why not let the old mare take this chance to catch some ‘Z’s?”

Applejack batted the foreleg away and glared at the two brothers. “While she’s out, you two are takin’ over all her duties.”

“Now Miss Applejack, I hardly think that’s fair and-”

“Perhaps ah didn’t make myself clear,” Applejack said, grabbing Flam by the collar and pulling him closer, their heads almost colliding. “Mah granny is out cold ‘cause of yer product, so unless ya want everypony ta know ye’re here an’ come demandin’ a refund, y’all will take responsibility right now and take on all her chores ‘til she’s better. Understand?”

The two brothers, and Big Macintosh standing behind them, simply nodded their heads as looks of fear dominated their faces.

“Good,” Applejack said, releasing Flam and walking past the stallions. “Ah have ta go back to the orchard. You get to the kitchen an’ make a start on dinner,” she said to Flam, before turning to Flim, “An’ you stay here with Big Mac an’ watch over Granny Smith. Let me know right away if somethin’ bad happens. Got it?”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh said with a salute.

As Applejack left, Flam leaned closer to his brother and whispered, “I think she likes me.”

Flim simply rolled his eyes as his grinning brother followed Applejack into the kitchen. He then turned his attention to Big Macintosh, who stared back with equal levels of awkwardness. “… So.”

“Eeyup.”

Flim turned to the kitchen door where Applejack was issuing orders to Flam. “Mares, huh?”

Big Macintosh nodded. “Eeyup.” The stallion sat down at a nearby armchair and reached behind its side, picking up two cans of apple cider before facing Flim again. “Y’want one?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Flim said as he took one of the cans from Big Macintosh’s hoof with his magic and brought it towards himself. He sat down himself and opened the can, taking a long sip from it before releasing a pleasured sigh. “Eeyup.”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh agreed, surprised that he was actually getting along with this stallion. Perhaps this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship…

Author's Note:

Check out the other submissions by various authours here: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2014/04/writers-training-grounds-014-leap-of.html

Comments

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Well, it was fun while it lasted, Granny.