Edit Keith Spawn

by Blitzer Sparks

Introductions

"Man I had the weirdest dream, there was a purple talking unicorn, and I hit my head on that rock, and *groan* I Have a mind splitting headache" I said without opening my eyes.

"Shh everypony, he's waking up" a soft female voice said.

Oh thank god peopl... wait did she just say pony? I snapped my eyes open and sat up, and honestly for the first time in my life I was blown away by stupidity. Here sitting in front of me where six ponies, and all different colors. Oh I get it freak out the new guy... where ever the hell I am and who ever knows about me and is presumably my friend.

"Okay this isn't funny where all the people?" I shouted

"umm nope no people here only ponies" a pink mare with a super puffy mane said.

"...HOLY SHIT DID THAT PONY JUST TALK!?"

"y-yes mr. creature she did, are you okay?"

"Yup going insane" I said with a rather shaky tone as I got up and made for what looked like a door, but not before I said something extremely stupid.

"Fucking weird ass ponies." Before I could make it to the door a lasso looped around my waist, binding my arms to my side, bad move on the person who is holding the lasso. I looked behind me, and what surprised me the most was a orange mare wearing a stetson... nice hat... holding the rope in her teeth.

"Ah'd appreciate it if ya'll didn't insult us so rudely"

"Oh so you wanna play" I said completely disregarding the other five ponies who where staring at me. "Well how bout I tie you up instead" the orange pony spoke in a southern accent... somehow.

"Nah I think I'd rather tie you up instead" I said to the pony, huh must be getting use to talking to ponies... weird

"Now how do ya reckon you gonna do that your all tied up"

"Simple" I snapped my right fingers, and held out my hand in a flat position, a sword popped into it, I cut the rope, made the sword disappear, take hold of the rope, flick the rope wrapping it around her muzzle, and pulling on the rope I launched myself at her all in a brief moment.

In that moment I saw fear in her eyes, so I decided against it. Instead of me punching her lights out, I formed a small dagger, and when I was close enough I took hold of the ropes around her muzzle, and cut her free.

After wards, I was tackled, hard, by a rainbow blur. "what the crap?"

"Get away from her!" A tomboyish voice cried out. "okay now i'm getting annoyed" I said as I pushed the cyan pony with a rainbow main off of me. It quickly took a stance as though she was going to pounce on me with her wings flared, so I decided to take my own personal stance.

My right foot out in front of me, and adding my weight to my left leg, and holding my right hand out in front of me with my left hand behind my back. "So your a pegasus huh?"

This would have continued if a familiar purple unicorn hadn't spoken up "STOP!!!"

"Hang on Twilight, kinda in the middle of something here" the cyan pegasus with the tomboyish voice told apparently Twilight.

"Well i dont know about you... Rainbow," aww yeah only a few hours in and I already have a nick name for her "But I prefer to talk things out before subduing to violence" I calmly said as I came out of my stance, yep, defiantly used to the strange talking ponies, even though a few hours ago I was slamming my head into the wall.

"Hey how do you know my name?" the cyan pegasus asked me cautiously

"Well actually I just gave you a nickname since I didn't know it, so since your main is strangely rainbow colored I came up with 'rainbow' see simple" I concluded with a cocky grin.

It was funny, she looked at me with a deadpanned face and said "oh."

I watched as Twilight walked in between me and whatever the cyan faced mare's name was.

"Alright everypony now that... "that" is out of the way I believe you have some explaining to do mister" Twilight said to me

"I have explaining to do are you kidding me right now, I was assaulted by her over there, then I was tackled by Rainbow over there" I retorted, she looked shocked, almost as though she thought of me as a stupid monk... wait, I am an ape aren't I? aww well, then she spoke up

"none the less you, scared Applejack" she gestured to the orange mare wearing the stetson "and you broke my table" she gestured to her table "plus we have no idea who YOU are" she thrusted a hoof at me.

Hmm I think she is mad at me but for what ever for? "Well my name is E. Keith S., but you can just call me Keith"

"What is your full name?"

*sigh* I knew this would happen "my full name is Edit Keith Spawn, but I hate my first and last name with a passion so please just call me Keith"

"Okay now why do you..."

I cut her off "whoa whoa whoa hold up you asked me a question now I get to ask you one, who are you, and them?" I said gesturing to everyone inside.

"Oh I forgot to introduce everyone, This is Rainbow Dash" she gestured towards the cyan mare that was giving me a death glare

"huh? so I did get your name right" I said as I held out my hand to her, she placed her hoof in it and we shook.

"Next, we have Applejack" Twilight said

"Well it's better to meet ya on better term, partner" The country pony tipped her hat in my direction.

Oh I couldn't help it. I snapped my fingers making a black stetson with a golden collar, and tipped it as well "Like wise ma'am" and with another snap of the fingers the hat was gone

"Oh and sorry about tying you up" I said

"It's okay Keith, ah'm sorry to" she said this while trying to hide a blush under her hat.

"This is Pinkie Pie." Twilight chimed in pointing to the pink mare.

"Hello" was all I could get out before she let out a huge gasp, and bolted out the door in a pink blur "umm... What just happened?"

"Don't worry darling thats just Pinkie being Pinkie, OH! how unlady like of me, my name is Rarity" a stunning white mare with a dark blue / purple mane, one of the two, said.

"Oh mon Dieu, vous regardez rareté étonnante de madame" I said in french. To translate I said 'oh my, you look stunning madam Rarity.' She blushed hard, the fact she had a white coat didn't help her much

"Oh my I didn't know you could speak Prench"

"Well I heard it was the language of love" I said to her with a wink... then the realization hit me. Did I just hit on a pony? well'p guess it pays of to be me (chuckle), is it just me or is her body turning red? I looked at the blushing white mare with a smile "are you okay Rarity?"

"wh-what oh yes erm i'm fine, umm please excuse me but umm I have uh that thing, YES! that thing I must attend, well untill next time darling ta-ta!" She said as she rushed out of the door, almost as fast as Pinkie Pie.

"Well that was umm, okay let's move on this is Fluttershy" Twilight said.

"OH h-hello mr. creature, I hope your okay, you did hit your head really hard"

"Please just call me Keith, and yes i'm fine Fluttershy thank you for asking" I said with a smile, and nod of the head. After I met Fluttershy a certain white mare strode back into the library, and sat down a little to close for comfort next to me.

"And I'm Twilight Sparkle"

"Well its nice to meet you to Twilight without having to smash any rocks" I said with a smile.

"Likwise" Twilight said.

Comments

[Blazing Shadow]

meh, im bailing this story, i prefer the dark types where humans are treated as monsters