Hope/ An Angel in Equestria

by brandsca123

Enter the egghead

CHAPTER 2
ENTER THE EGGHEAD

Fluttershy awoke in the morning next to Hope. She smilled at the infant. Hope's stomach started to growl signifing that she was hungry.

"Oh dear... ummm hold on" Fluttershy said as she picked up Hope. She brought the baby downstairs and put her on the couch. Fluttershy quickly went back upstairs and got a peice of cloth and used it as a makeshift diaper before bringing her to the kitchen.

"Now what do you eat." Fluttershy said to herself. She went through the cuberds and took out some applesauce and put some in a bowl and handed it to Hope. Hope eyed it with a confused look befor dipping her hands into the sauce. Fluttershy just watched as the baby started playing with it. Just then a rainbow blur came through the window and stopped near Fluttershy.

"Hey Fluttershy whats that thing. I saw you bring it into your cottage last night." A rainbowed mained pegasus said. Who had a cutey mark of a cloud with a rainbow colored lightningbolt.

"Oh ummm.... This is Hope Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy said as she pointed a hoof at the giggling baby who was busy trying to throw its breackfast all over the place. Rainbow Dash looked at Hope as if to see if it was a threat. Hope cooed and gurgled at Rainbow Dash, who let out a small giggle as she went closer to the infant.

"Hi Hope I'm Rainbow Dash the best flyer in equestria, and the fastist" Rainbow dash said proudly as she extended a hoof to Hope. "I'm the only one here that could do a sonic rainboom."Rainbow countinued to stare at the baby.

"Hey Fluttershy doesn't this thing understand equestrean?" The baby just squealed playfuly as it picked up the bowl of applesauce and threw it at Dash. The bowl landed with a splat right on top of Dash. Rainbow Dash removed the bowl and glared at the baby.
"what was that for." She said, a little anoyed. Hope just giggled at the angry pegasus. Fluttershy sensing the moment suddenly said.

"Sorry Dash she is just a baby." She said with a slight blush."She doesn't really know any better." Rainbow Dash just glared as she wiped the sweet and tangy sauce of her face.

"Whatever. I just came to see if you wanted to watch me practice my flying. I learned a couple of new flying techniques that are sue to impress the wonderbolts in the next young flyers competition." Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh sorry Rainbow Dash I was just planning on going to Twilights to see if i can identify this thing." She said as Hope tryed to grab one of Dashes feathers. Rainbow Dash was about to protest, when a small sharp pinching sensation was felt on her wing.

"Owwwwww" Rainbow Dash looked back to see Hope holding a blue feather in her hands. "Hey thats mine!" Rainbow Dash grabbed the feather and hoped started to cry. Fluttershy went to comfort the infant.
"I think maybe you should go." Fluttershy said to an angry looking Rainbow Dash.
"Well ok," Rainbow Dash huffs, "but you gotta promise to at least watch me later." Dash said as she moved away from Hope, staring daggers at the child. "And keep that thing away from me."

"Oh ok Rainbow i promise." Fluttershy said sheepisly. Rainbow Dash went back out through the window with a wave and zoomed off into the distance.

"Right.. now lets get you cleaned up." Fluttershy said to Hope.

Once Fluttershy cleaned up Hope and the mess she made in the kitchen she made a makeshift carryer and put hope in it and stated of towords the library. In ponyville Fluttershy tryed to ignore all the staires she got by the resedents. Obviously they never seen a creature like Hope before. Just then a poffy pinked mained pink pony with three ballons for her cutey mark ran towords Fluttershy.

"Hey Fluttershy whats that thing is it a new pony couse i know evreypony here and i dont know that one whats its name why is so small why mmfffph...." Hope grabbed the pink pony by the snout and started sqweezing playfuly while giggling.

"Oh hi Pinky pie.. ummm thiss is Hope. She is just a baby." Fluttershy said sheepishly. Pinky was busy making honking noises as Hope sqweezed her nose. Pinky pulled away and started to giggle and snort.
"Well that explanes its behavior. Isn't that right you silly filly." Pinky said to Hope. Hope cooed in response.

"awwwww. Anyway i have to get a party started to welcome Hope see you later Fluttershy." Pinky said as she ran of towords sugercube corner. Fluttershy contined on towords the library. When she got there she knocked softly on the door. A Lavender colered unicorn opened the door. She had a dark perple main with a light perple stripe in the middle. Her cutey mark was that of a star sarrounde by five smaller stars in a circle.

'Hey fluttershy what brings you here come in." The unicorn said.
"ummm.twilight i need your help in identifying a species." Said Fluttershy. Fluttershy took Hope out of the carryer and put her gently on the floor. Twilight eyed the infant with curiosity. Fluttershy opened a pocket in the carryer and started handing Twilight sparkle the locket and note that was found with the baby. Twilight read the note and then looked at the locket and then at Hope.

"Hey Spike. could you please get me the copy of Animals of Equestria." Twilight said.

"I got it already Twi." A small perple dragon said as he walked toword Twilight with a larg heavy looking book. Spike then dropped the book and stared at Hope.

"ummm..twilight. Whats that?" Spike said pointing at Hope. Fluttershy picked up Hope and brought her to the couch and plopped her down while Twilight was looking franticly through the book.

"I don't know Spike. It's not in the book so it could be a new speces. Fluttershy would you mind if i take a look at...."

"Hope" Fluttershy said. Twilight then came close to Hope and used her magic to levitate a scroll and qwill towords her. Spike came close to Hope to get a better look at her.

"How old is she" Spike asked.

"She is Just a baby. maybe one years old." Fluttershy said. Twilight started taking notes as she eyed Hope.

"Interesting I wonder how big she'll get when she is older." Twilight said."Can she talk Fluttershy." Twilight said as she leened in close to Hope to get a better look. As if to answer her question Hope stuck out her tong and let out a soft.

"pppbbbttt" Twilight just sighed and rolled her eyes as she countinued taking notes. Spike started to giggle at Hopes anticks.

"Right I think we might need to do some tests." Twilight said as she picked up Hope with her magic and started to go downstairs when a loud knocking was herd from the door. Twilight put the baby back down and went to open the door when a pink blur came running through the door knocking it of its hinges as a trail of confetii was left. Just then two more ponies came trotting in, one an orange earth pony with both its mane and tail in a ponytail. She wore a cowboy hat and had freckles on her face, her cutey mark was that of three apples. She spoke with a southern accent.

"Whats this ah here about Fluttershy having a baby? I never thought of Fluttershy being the one to ave a child"

"Applejack is right dear." A white perple maned unicorn came in. She spoke like one of those snobbish people but still had enough kindniss in her voice to not seem like one. She had make up on her eyes and walked with grace. Her cutey mark was that of three diamonds.

"Anyway can i see the little darling"

"Oh ummm sure Rareity she's over here" Fluttershy said. Both Rareity and Applejack walked forword and then gasped at the little bouncing baby.

Comments

[ugugg93]

Ok, I'll be short and blunt, because its 4am, and I have no god damn clue why I am still up...

The Good: The concept of the story seems sound, and honestly, as far as I can recall, quite originial, which is definitely a plus in my book. The characters, as little as we've interacted with some of them, are acting as they would, though maybe Twilight is calling Celestia a little too quickly, but that's open to debate. The description on the creatures was satisfactory enough, to the point where I could see them in my head. Nasty fellows indeed.

The Bad: Normally, I don't mention this part, but good god the grammar mistakes. WOW. If English is your second language, it shows. Best advice would be to type this up on microsoft word (or whatever mac has), and run it through a spell checker at the very least. Every single sentence had several misspellings, to the point where it actually took away from the story significantly. Besides that, some parts of the story move VERY quickly (Rainbow meeting the human, why Fluttershy was in the forest to begin with, and the things eating the random earth pony are the biggest ones).

Honestly, before going on, fix the spelling and grammar mistakes. Seriously. You have the start of a good story, but the story will wither and die (viewer wise) if you don't clean this up some.

[Lord_Kalbario]

juuuust need to work on the grammar darling, otherwise its a story that has a lot of potential

[brandsca123]

322280 hey thanks sorry about that i will try to update both chapters today before continuing on with the story. if you could at least point out some of the grammer mistakes that would be apreceated. anyway thank you so much.

[brandsca123]

322518 finished with the editing and revising there might still be some grammer mistakes and spelling errors but if you keep helping me i will soon be able to fix that. Anyway why i wrote this fic. After searching for hours on end i couldn't find a single fanfic with a human baby in it so i thought. "Hey i have an idia that is both origional and promising" at around midnight i joined the site and got to work imediatly on the fic so thats probibly why it has so many mistakes and seems a bit forced. At the time i just decided to wing it and probibly get some help from other people who read the fic. anyway enough about me i hope you enjoy the fic and i promise my writing will get better. ( I hope D: )

[Lord_Kalbario]

>>brandsca123
AHA! i knew you had a chapter in there! was looking for chptr 1 the whole time i got out of class this afterrnoon
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!!!

[Lord_Kalbario]

oh and btw, its Pegasus, not Pegasis

[brandsca123]

322717 thanks i would never have noticed those.

[avatoa]

You also misspelled Rarity's name. Other than that, you're good.

[Evil Paladin]

SWEET RAPTOR JESUS!!!
The spelling!
Ther grammer!
Even punctuation was bad enough to get me!
Furthermore, ITS SPELLED "CUTIE"! NOT 'CUTEY'

Please, get a proof reader. We beg you.

[rhysofpeace]

........why is fluttershy called posey and rainbow dash called firefly???

[OfficerBarricade]

rainbow dash you dick how dare you treat a baby like that 😠 😡