Aside from the stories of Marcus Renee, Stephan Bauer and the battles of North America and Europe, there is also the story of the battle in Asia, and of one Yon-Soo Park.
4616438 :That an AR15 chambered in 5.45? I would expect them to be available but hard to find. Considering the only the that would be any popular around here would be an AK74 or variant that fires 5.45 is banned nobody bothers to import it. Too much of a niche market to import surplus ammo for the 5 people with an AR15 in 5.45
Ahhh, Borz machine pistol. Scrap metal, crude wooden grip, and bare minimum of machining, cranked out in underground workshops and bombed-out warehouses. And wallahi, does it show. Good luck to hit anything out beyond seven or eight meters, and forget about swapping mags. Then again, we were only meant to use them until we could get something better. Cheap, easy, disposable. Just like the teenage conscripts made to carry them. Ojalla ya Marsho... Now that is out of the way, I am enjoying this story very much, waiting eagerly to see more.
Out of all The Other Side of the Spectrum's side stories, I believe this to be my favourite. I love the Spectrumverse dearly, but in my opinion, yours here just gets so much right. If I had to sum it up in one phrase, I'd say this story's big strength lies in how it uses a "less is more" approach, in contrast with other Spectrum stories' tendency of getting a bit too over-the-top and moralizing for their own good at times.
Plus, this may be my fav chapter in this series, next to the main's story's chapter 'Trust'. The narration and pacing are very well-done throughout, making rather elegant use of the little details to build character and setting. Even though I read these fics where war is a central element, I am not and have never been interested in military hardware, meaning I tend to usually skip past the passages explaining firearms and so forth. Here, however, you managed to integrate the mention of the Borz pistol with such seamlessness that I legitimately felt worried about whether the weapon's unreliability was going to "blow up" in our heroes' faces. No idea if that was meant to be a red herring or not, but it worked nicely for me.
I also feel the chapter had just enough violence and gore to remind readers that yes, being a soldier is a nasty business and will cost a person, while also balancing it with the more uplifting elements. Helping matters is that we've got to know these characters by now, and although each of them fits into a familiar archetype, I find you made them engaging enough for me to fully buy that the people on this team include a former North Korean and two pastel-coloured talking horses. It's nice to remember that despite its brutality, this is still a My Little Pony story at heart, and silly moments such as the "tickle torture" scene or the diabetes-inducing cuteness of Comet Tail are what readers need more of than yet another fanfic which prides itself on its juvenile grimdarkness.
... Though, by the same token, since one of your characters is named after somebody from Metro 2033, the Solar Empire would be wise to remember that while they are jackals, humans can be wolves when the need arises. Yeah, forgive me, I just had to work in that phrase somehow.
And as no VoxAdam review would be complete without some Lyra fanboyism, let me say that I loved how you highlighted her role... by keeping her out of the spotlight. One of the few times it's wiser to go against the "show, don't tell" rule is when the narrative treats a secondary character as superlatively awe-inspiring. Unless you're really confident in your capability to write a person as one of the greatest leaders or speakers or idealists who ever lived, it's more convincing for readers to see how the main characters act based on how they've been motivated by said person. So good job there, and I await the inevitable scene where the Dragons of the East hear of her execution...
By the way, I noticed your latest edit on TVtropes about Ambassador Lyra's orientation. Well, I'm glad you thought to deal with the issue of Canon!Lyra asking Marcus about his relationship with her counterpart. That initially rubbed me the wrong way, because I dislike it when male action heroes are so manly they can even attract homosexual women, but now... Heh, I guess now we know just what Lyra was spending her energy on when she should have been studying and going to sleep at a decent time, amirite?
Of course, still gotta give credit to the others for their input. I'm admittedly not the best at writing action sequences, so they've been a good help with that and the weapons tech.
Heee, Comet is fun to write. And oh yes, their reaction to Lyra's death will be a massive feels trip.
Don't forget minor knowledge of Russia, references, and guns! I CAN do things besides murder, you know...
4614655 noooooo. No murder is your thing.
4614803 But is it the only thing?
Also i just realized this but I am totally not about to help my case.
I have a AK74 just an FYI, and 1080 rounds of 7n6 5.45x39.
4615442 Better hold onto that, since it sounds like there isn't going to be anymore surplus 5.45 brought into the US anymore
4616246 paid $180 last October for it.
4616323 Nice, I'm stuck in Canada so we can still get surplus 5.45 but nothing to shoot it out of, because lol AK ban.
4616332 what about this then? fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/856931_523785001059025_2014271174412667850_o.jpg
4616438 :That an AR15 chambered in 5.45? I would expect them to be available but hard to find. Considering the only the that would be any popular around here would be an AK74 or variant that fires 5.45 is banned nobody bothers to import it. Too much of a niche market to import surplus ammo for the 5 people with an AR15 in 5.45
nope it is 7.62x39
Ahhh, Borz machine pistol. Scrap metal, crude wooden grip, and bare minimum of machining, cranked out in underground workshops and bombed-out warehouses. And wallahi, does it show. Good luck to hit anything out beyond seven or eight meters, and forget about swapping mags. Then again, we were only meant to use them until we could get something better. Cheap, easy, disposable. Just like the teenage conscripts made to carry them. Ojalla ya Marsho...
Now that is out of the way, I am enjoying this story very much, waiting eagerly to see more.
4624194 Thank you!
The thing about the fridge is that it's based on a true story - my uncle John somehow got on top of the fridge when he was younger. Nobody knows how.
Out of all The Other Side of the Spectrum's side stories, I believe this to be my favourite. I love the Spectrumverse dearly, but in my opinion, yours here just gets so much right. If I had to sum it up in one phrase, I'd say this story's big strength lies in how it uses a "less is more" approach, in contrast with other Spectrum stories' tendency of getting a bit too over-the-top and moralizing for their own good at times.
Plus, this may be my fav chapter in this series, next to the main's story's chapter 'Trust'. The narration and pacing are very well-done throughout, making rather elegant use of the little details to build character and setting. Even though I read these fics where war is a central element, I am not and have never been interested in military hardware, meaning I tend to usually skip past the passages explaining firearms and so forth. Here, however, you managed to integrate the mention of the Borz pistol with such seamlessness that I legitimately felt worried about whether the weapon's unreliability was going to "blow up" in our heroes' faces. No idea if that was meant to be a red herring or not, but it worked nicely for me.
I also feel the chapter had just enough violence and gore to remind readers that yes, being a soldier is a nasty business and will cost a person, while also balancing it with the more uplifting elements. Helping matters is that we've got to know these characters by now, and although each of them fits into a familiar archetype, I find you made them engaging enough for me to fully buy that the people on this team include a former North Korean and two pastel-coloured talking horses. It's nice to remember that despite its brutality, this is still a My Little Pony story at heart, and silly moments such as the "tickle torture" scene or the diabetes-inducing cuteness of Comet Tail are what readers need more of than yet another fanfic which prides itself on its juvenile grimdarkness.
... Though, by the same token, since one of your characters is named after somebody from Metro 2033, the Solar Empire would be wise to remember that while they are jackals, humans can be wolves when the need arises. Yeah, forgive me, I just had to work in that phrase somehow.
And as no VoxAdam review would be complete without some Lyra fanboyism, let me say that I loved how you highlighted her role... by keeping her out of the spotlight. One of the few times it's wiser to go against the "show, don't tell" rule is when the narrative treats a secondary character as superlatively awe-inspiring. Unless you're really confident in your capability to write a person as one of the greatest leaders or speakers or idealists who ever lived, it's more convincing for readers to see how the main characters act based on how they've been motivated by said person. So good job there, and I await the inevitable scene where the Dragons of the East hear of her execution...
By the way, I noticed your latest edit on TVtropes about Ambassador Lyra's orientation. Well, I'm glad you thought to deal with the issue of Canon!Lyra asking Marcus about his relationship with her counterpart. That initially rubbed me the wrong way, because I dislike it when male action heroes are so manly they can even attract homosexual women, but now... Heh, I guess now we know just what Lyra was spending her energy on when she should have been studying and going to sleep at a decent time, amirite?
Looking forward to the next chapter!
4885520 Why thank you very much!
Of course, still gotta give credit to the others for their input. I'm admittedly not the best at writing action sequences, so they've been a good help with that and the weapons tech.
Heee, Comet is fun to write. And oh yes, their reaction to Lyra's death will be a massive feels trip.
Awesome capter. Awesome and i realy mean it.
Also, this music is, at last for me, perfect for batle in that HLF-infested town: