Pinkie Pie the Space Wolf

by The Red Angel

Every Party needs a Pooper...

The Fang

Some time later...

The greatest party of all time was in full swing. (It made any Slaaneshi party suck!)
The Space Wolves had finally reuniting with their Primarch! Again. And the xenos he had brought with wasn't that bad.
The wolf obsessed drunks were singing and fighting, the chanting of "Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!" filling the air.

Leman Russ was not amused by that. When he left it seemed his legion had turned into a group of warriors willing to do that with wild canines. He would NOT stand for that. Not at all. But he knew that it would take time to break that fetish implanted by Slaanesh. Maybe Pinkie could help cleanse the wayward brothers? But first, Leman had to go with some priests to wake up an old friend.

Needless to say, that old "friend" was going to be PISSED. Leman never really got along with him, not since that incident which earned that sap his infamous nickname. The Wolf King chuckled. Those were good times. The priests were annoying as hell though. They were the type that would grovel like little babies whenever he said something even remotely important.

"I really need to get these warriors up to par again." He thought.

Not long after, they had arrived to an dusty old tomb of sorts. This was were Bjorn the Fell Handed, the oldest Space Marine alive, was placed in stasis. Only once every 100 years he awoke to tell the stories of Leman Russ and the Emperor. He met both of them after all. The old man was trying to sleep, his massive sarcophagus barely blocked any annoyances. It was that time of the century again. Damnit.

Why did they have to take him back from the Blood Ravens? Bjorn groaned. That was the greatest thing to ever happen to him, along with Russ leaving of course.

Fucking whelps wanting to hear the stories of "Mighty Bjorn the Fell Handed." He hated that nickname, almost as much as he hated the man who gave it to him. Which to his surprise seemed to be that very room.

Fuck.

The priests were chanting in Fenrisian, the guttural language suited for those with excess phlegm filling the air. Servos hissed, and the massive machine stirred.

Time for the act. Even though that bastard's here.

"WHO AWAKENS BJORN?" He spoke through the ancient vox casters. Along with that butthole Leman Russ, there was three of little wolf obsessed jackasses. He felt the urge to crush the pube-faced bungholes.
But suddenly, his vision was filled with pink.
Pink? The hell? Maybe I AM going senile.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!" The pink blob was actually a pony.
A xenos pony. He didn't like Xenos.

How did she get here? Thought the old fuck. (I should kill you for saying that.) Sorry!
Then that bastard Russ waved at him.

"How's it going, Fell Handed?" Leman chuckled. He always got a kick out of fucking with Bjorn. Bjorn would have none of his shit today. Just woke up and he was already ready to pop one of his remaining blood vessels.

"FINE UNTIL YOU CAME HERE, YOU LITTLE FUCKING ASSHAT." Bjorn bellowed. " EVER SINCE YOU DECIDED TO GO PLAY "HIDE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF", THE YOUNGBLOODS BECAME WOLF FUCKING FREAKS."

Leman facepalmed. He had to do something about that.

"I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY DIPSHIT."

Pinkie started laughing, the noise of the pink monstrosity chuckles filled Bjorn with more piss and vinegar.

"AND ANOTHER THING." The dreadnought spoke. "WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A TALKING PONY WITH YOU?"

"Oh." The Wolf King replied. "This is Pinkie. Pinkie, as you probably already know, this tin can has my old friend Bjorn "the Fell Handed" rotting inside."

The ancient dreadnaught spun his lightning claw.

"He mad Pinkie." Leman taunted. The party pony poked him in the face.

"That's not very nice Russie." She spoke. Russ facepalmed again. Bjorn chuckled, scaring the shit out of the already confused priests in the room.

"Russie?" Thought Bjorn. "This is perfect."

The mighty dreadnought stood there has Pinkie and Russ began to argue. While they were fighting like a pair of Terran School girls, Bjorn told the priests to buzz off, to which the little furries whimpered and ran off.

"Wimps." He thought.

"ARE YOU TWO DONE YET?" He asked his Primarch and the pony.

"Yup yup yup!" Pinkie replied. "Right Russie?" She asked the drunken viking warlord. (IN SPACE!)

"YEAH, RUSSIE?" Bjorn repeated. Leman growled. He nodded in defeat. He felt hungover already and he hadn't even drank yet.

"Okie dokie loki!" Pinkie said.

"Let's go Bear!" She spoke, bouncing off to the party.

"How?" Bjorn inquired.

"Silly! I read the script!"

Leman facepalmed again, and Pinkie started to sing.

"Every party needs a pooper," She sang. Leman's blood started to boil.

"That's why they invited you!" His eyes began to twitch.

"PARTY POOPER! PARTY POOPER!" The madmare suddenly bolted, laughing all the way. Leman roared and gave chase.

Bjorn was confused, but he shrugged and followed the numbskulls. He knew that something awesome was going to happen.

And he actually liked the Xenos oddly enough.

Author's Note:

Another chapter from my wild mind! Comments? Questions? Criticism?

Comments

[The Red Angel]

3537661

I'm glad! Hope you like it!
And remember to blame Ren and Stimpy! They made me write the first story!

[axiosriot]

fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/322/9/4/bjorn_the_fell_handed_by_begeldverl-d5lcy4b.jpg

[The Red Angel]

3537934

INDEED!

[ArthurHucksake]

segafans.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/mother-of-god.jpg

[The Red Angel]

3538019

Good or bad?

[Nightmare Wolf]

THIS.IS.GENIOUS! I laughed the whole chapter!
BTW Don't you give me that speach Lemmy, I KNOW that you're into furries as well, not just the youngbloods, so cut it and join the great yiffening!
s3.roosterteeth.com/images/mega_marines4476761d234df.jpg
eatthattoast.com/comics/2011-10-31.gif

[The Red Angel]

3538290
I'm glad you liked it!

Next chapter will be written tomorrow.

(I write and release the same day usually)

[The Red Angel]

3536785
Thanks!

Fixed.

[damnaion]

lol nice

[Brother Malachai]

"Every party needs a pooper," She sang. Leman's blood started to boil.

"That's why they invited you!" His eyes began to twitch.

"PARTY POOPER! PARTY POOPER!" The madmare suddenly bolted, laughing all the way. Leman roared and gave chase. (Warning, vid has cursing.)