Screwed Up

by A friendly face

Is This The Real Life, Is This Just Fantasy?

Author's Note:

fixed AGAIN.

>>CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE, NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY.<<

That's enough of that.

*off*

What happened? well, for starters, discord got the bright idea to turn Hank's brother into a changeling. He really doesn't want us to get to New York. Why? Because he's probably protecting me, that's why. Either way, we need a new D.D. I'd ask my parents, but I find that unlikely to work. Wherever they are, I hope they're safe. Now, we've got to find someone who can drive. Unless, can Hank's brother turn human? He is a changeling, so I don't see why not. Unless they're like the spies in TF2, where he can only disguise himself as others. In which case we're up the creek without a paddle. Damn. I was hoping I'd get to go to New York. Oh, well. We can't now, so why... wait, what's this on my head? IS IT? GREAT SCOTT, MY HAT!! IT'S BACK! YES!! Ooh, there's a note attached.

You left this at home. See you soon.

Dissy

AWESOME!! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! Okay, now I can get somewhere! Oh, the times I've had with this hat. Floating like a butterfly, wreaking havoc like a BOSS! LET'S DO IT!

>>SCARAMOUCHE! SCARAMOUCHE! WILL YOU DO THE FANDANGO?!<<

*off* >pop<

Oops, better calm down before I, for lack of a better word, EXPLODE. Wait... I'll just poof up some chamomile tea... Here we go.. and hopefully that'll calm my nerves. (Tea drinking noises).

"So, Hank's brother, what's your real name?"

"Terrence"

"Oh."

"What? Were you expecting something else?"

"A little."

"Well, too bad, cupcake. You get what you get."

"Playing the cynic today, are we?"

"What?"

"[Those raspberry letters again]"

"...okay."

"Can you turn human again?"

"I don't know how to turn into ANYTHING, let alone a human."

"Dang, we need a driver."

"Yep. Guess what though?"

"What?"

"I just called Rory, He'll be here in no time."

Hmmm. Rory...Time...Nah, that isn't possible.

"Who's Rory?"

"A friend of mine, real history buff. Knows everything you need to know about the Romans."

Don'tsayitdon'tsayitdon'tsayit.

"Does he know any good doctors?"

"He's got a friend who's a doctor. Can't remember what kind though."

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"HHHHHA HA HA!"

"What's so funny?"

"Heh, nothing."

From the other room I hear:

"It's a Doctor Who thing."

Dangit, Hank, why ya gotta mess up my fun? I was this close to making a joke, and now it seems like a total circlejerk. In other words, IT ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.

*zap*
"Oh, Ok."

"Well, when will he be here?"

"In about twenty minutes."

19 minutes later...

"WHEN WILL HE BE HERE?!?!"

"Soon, give him a minute"

55 seconds later...

*car*

"There he is."

*door*

"So, where are we headed?"

Reluctantly, I speak up. "No questions? You walk into a room with 2 ponies and a shapeshifting bug, and you don't at least wanna know how it came to be?"

"Don't care. no time"

I already like this guy. Let's get to trouble 'n' stuff. He knows what he needs to do and he does it. He leads. Am I overanalyzing this? Indeed.

We all go out and pack into his SUV. To say it was cramped would be a massive understatement. Apparently, we're bringing along a few of his friends as well.

Now, to test something.

"Hey, Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"How much do you know about the Romans?"

"You'd be surprised."

5 hours later...I'm gonna run out of timecards soon.

"Those are the basics."

Wow. Five hours straight. That's some kind of record.

history lesson aside, we pull over at a rest stop because everyone had to pee and we needed snacks for the trip (We ditched the train idea, Dad'd probably derail it or something anyway.). As we were getting rung up, a large, burly man with a short beard came out from an aisle. I noticed him acting suspicious, so I paid attention. (for once) Sure enough, he had a walkie-talkie in his coat, and this is what he said:

"There's three of 'em in the store on 30th. I'm lookin' right at 'em. They're headed your way, so get ready. Don't forget to use the good shogun."

He might have said shotgun, but I definitely heard shogun. Either way we're in trouble. We all cram silently into the car and drive off. Should I tell them to take a detour? Yeah, That guy sounded serious, I'll warn them.

"Rory?"

"Yes?"

"That guy in the store was plotting against us, and I think we should take a detour."

"I know."

"Wha-"

"He's following us."

...uh oh.

"Don't worry though, watch this."

Then he pushed a button on the dash that didn't look like it did anything, but then there was a sound like metal on pavement. I looked out the back window and saw that he'd, somehow or other, deployed a spike strip. The truck behind us stopped dead, and walkie talkie guy got out and started FUMING. It was like he was trying to swear and dance his tires back to life. It was hilarious. We all shared a laugh, then realized that we'd just attracted attention from a very dangerous group. we came to a roadblock. They were carrying shotguns and picket signs.

It was PAPA, and they were PISSED.

Comments

[ferret]

I don't... this is really... something. Fits the uh... character?
I'm just... going to post emoticons for a while.

[Masterweaver]

Hookay, three things.

One: Acadamy record is a season three meme, and season three has not happened yet. This is pre-season three.

Two: rambling itallics.

Three: Why the sudden spy car?

[A friendly face]

3929930

May I offer a rebuttal?

1 I know, That's the point. Confuse the reader and make them question the meta...ness of this story.

2 But I LIKE ITALICS.

3 Because I CAN.

[Proper Noun]

"He's got a friend who's a doctor. Can't remember what kind though."
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
"HHHHHA HA HA!"

... and then the entire rest of the chapter was italics!

It kind of loses the effect after a couple of lines.

[A friendly face]

3953053

waiiit...oh, no. I would seem to have made an error. I'll just fix that...done.

[A friendly face]

I am going to, over the next few days, be going over the story and... fixing it. I've noticed a few things that aren't exactly...well let's just say this: MASSIVE revisions abound. brace yourselves.