Screwed Up

by A friendly face

On The Road Again For The First Time

The room fell silent, save for the rain outside (it's Washington, whaddaya gonna do?), and the sizzling of pancakes on a hot griddle. Or, knowing Discord, a cold griddle. It took me a few seconds to realize why.

"What does that mean?" Welp, I'm doomed.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Okay, smart guy. Do you think you can fool me with that Mr.nice draconequus routine? Well you're wrong.

"I mean, you ju- nevermind." This conversation is getting more and more pointless by the second."Why are you doing this? What great and malevolent impulse propelled you to make such an irrational decision?" This babysitter got BITE. Note to self: do not think for more than three continuous seconds.

"hmhmhmhmhm, do I really need a reason?" His gaze shifted toward me. "It's my job."

"Well, pal, your 'job' is putting a lot of innocent people in danger!" You can't say I'm wrong about that.

"Please calm down, you'll wake the neighborhood. [insert loud evil laugh here]" hypocrite.

"Idon'tcareifIwakeeverybodyonthiswholegodforsakenearthIwantsomeanswersbubandifyou'renotgonnagiveittomestraightthenI'mgonnahaveto make you talk!" I sound like I was just in an Espresso drinking contest. I am really flipping my shit here and if I don't get some answers soon then I just might hurt someone.

That'd be a first. Donny "scrappy" Maxwell actually winning a fight. I'm pushing my luck as it is, but the scrap is gonna get his butt royally kicked if he pushes even one more button.

"There's my little firecracker! Now keep her safe or I'll pull you out of there faster than you can say-"

*CRASH*

There goes every window in my house. Time to run before somebody important shows up and sees me like this. I booked it out the door faster than Roadrunner, and even meepmeeped to boot. Don't know why, guess just 'cause it was funny. (Well, it was.) You could say I more ran clean through the door than out of it. blew it clean off of the hinges too.

AND IT WAS AWESOME
Exactly. Wait, who said that?

Who else?
Is that...Me?

No, it's ME. The proud owner of . this body, and you are?

Author's Note:

EDITED ALSO. NOT TOO HARD.

Comments

[A friendly face]

Be real nice if I could get some cover art up in here.

[cosmosain]

slenderman and discord are working together