The Journal Of Lyra

by RainbowKnight

Goodbye Sanity!

Well, I’m already starting to run out of paper. Maybe I should have used another notebook for my ideas. Eh, that doesn’t matter because I am close to finally living my dream. Soon, I will finally be human! And when that happens…I will laugh in all the faces of the ponies who doubted me. Yes, I feel myself coming closer to the “solution of my problem” as I call it.

So anyways. Today, I was strolling through Ponyville when all of a sudden, Pinkie Pie tackled me. So, what was her excuse for nearly breaking every bone in my body? It was “Sorry, I tripped while I was running”. Ha! I’ll make sure to hunt her down later.

After her excuse of an apology, she asked me if I could help her make a new batch of cupcakes. After thinking about it, I said “yes”. Hopefully, helping her make cupcakes will have her leave me alone. While we were trotting to Sugar Cube Corner, she kept saying weird things like “I wonder what flavor you will turn out as?” or “Based on your size, you will make a lot of cupcakes!” Geez Pinkie? What are we going to do again? It was starting to sound less and less like baking cupcakes every time she opened her mouth to speak!

Finally, when we were in the kitchen, she went to grab a cupcake for me to sample. Before I could take a bite out of it, she stopped me. Ok, here’s the weirdest part: she looked in a random direction. Then she said “There are too many humans watching this. I’m afraid making cupcakes will have to wait”. So basically, she dragged me all the way to Sugar Cube Corner for no reason. She wouldn’t even let me take a bite out of the cupcake she wanted me to sample. So as I stomped away, I promised myself that when I became a human, I would rid Equestria of Pinkie Pie.

Later, Bon Bon caught up with me. She asked where I was going. Of course, my reply was “I’m going home to work on my plans”. Immediately, she stopped me. And you know what she said next? That ungrateful hater said “You’ve been barricading yourself in your house and talking to yourself! This is madness!” Madness…madness?! This is Sparta! (I heard that Sparta was an old human city that was obsessed with war and destruction. So of course it is my favorite.) After she said this, I told her that maybe SHE was insane. Of course, she has to be insane. Every single pony in this town…in Equestria, is insane! I’m the only sane pony anymore!

When I got home, guess who was waiting for me? Pinkie Pie. She kept begging me to help her make cupcakes or else Mr and Mrs. Cake would go out of business. Seeing her begging for my help, I admit, was refreshing.

After a while, I noticed she kept murmuring about “humans” always watching her. This caught my interest. What if she wasn’t insane? What if she really was seeing humans? I asked Pinkie when she saw the humans. With a quiver in her voice, she said “all the time”. This is my chance. If Pinkie really is connected to the human world through this strange ability…I could unlock the gate between the human world and our world!

I remember tying her up and grabbing some tools. I’ve got to dissect that brain of hers. I know it isn’t right, but my lust for being a human is greater than what is right and wrong. Unfortunately, I couldn’t focus on even cutting her head open because she kept talking and singing. Finally, I decided that I wouldn’t be able to even survive having to listen to her sing the entire time. I let her go, and before she left, she said that maybe she would try a new flavor for her next batch of cupcakes...what was I thinking? She is insane. She probably sees flying cows too.

Later, I ordered a dozen freshly baked cupcakes. When I went to pick them up, I asked what flavor they were. Pinkie said they were “chicken flavor”. Chicken flavor…sounds delicious. While I walked home, I noticed two fillies that kept yelling out “Scootaloo”. They must be playing hide and seek or something. Jokingly, I told them that maybe they ate their friend. Ha! Their reaction was priceless! They ran and screamed at the top of their lungs as I laughed to myself. Children are so gullible nowadays.

Finally, after a while, I saw my house in the distance. I eagerly trotted to the doorstep only to get blocked by Bon Bon. She had several stacks of blank paper and two pencils with her as she warmly grinned at me. She said that she was going to have she and I do a “recreational activity”. So what was the recreational activity? Fan fiction. Yup, she really thinks that we can both sit down and enjoy each other’s presence as we write down words. Geez, how do writers keep their sanity? I mean, what is so interesting about sitting for hours, writing words?

When we finished our stories, we read them to each other. Hers was about a little filly who lives in the country and runs through a patch of flowers every day. Overall, it was boring. Finally, I read my story to her. Basically it was a disaster story that I thought was a comedy. I believe I have a copy of it lying around. Here it is:

Once upon a time, there was a little filly who enjoyed running in the woods. One day, she decided to make friends with the woodland creatures. And she lived happily ever after.

In the belly of a pack of wolves.

I know, it is a masterpiece isn’t it? Of course, Bon Bon, being the hater she is, said it wasn’t a fan fic, it was a crap fic. If fact, she said it wasn’t even a fan fic because, it wasn’t based off another story! Well Ms. Hater, yours wasn’t either! Oh well, life is stupid.

See Ya,

Lyra

Author's Note:

Thank you all for reading this story. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I really appreciate it.

Comments

[Yoshi1990]

Bon Bon...your story sucked! Lyra's story was better.

I saw a Star Wars reference in there. It was kind of vague but it was there. I guess the line could be connected to a lot of other stuff too but it made me think of Star Wars. (I'm a Star Wars fan)

[RainbowKnight]

3510475

Where did you see a Star Wars reference at?

[Yoshi1990]

3512931
I'm really pushing my luck by saying it's a Star Wars reference. It's very vague and could be connected to just about anything. I just chose to associate it with Star Wars because I'm a Star wars nerd.

This is madness!

It's right next to the Sparta reference.
I could probably connect any sentence to Star Wars if I tried.