The New Comer

by Writer Fire

Planet E

I was sitting in my chamber. Number 2311 to be exact. I was going over the new plan for the PLANET E project. We have a good theory that it's inhabited, but we're not to certain that it's 100% in fact inhabited. I was looking at the paper in front of me. This plan was simple. Take a small ship, fly over to the planet (Which was at least a twelve hour flight.) And drop down in my drop pod. Easy. I stood up from my desk I was just sitting at and looked out my window. I saw what I saw every day. Space and stars. Here and there there would be a galaxy or a cool looking cloud, but other than that it was dark space with small white stars. I was interrupted when my door opened. My close friend Flog came in.

"Zaaca sla la zex." He said in Zacan.

"Dude really how many times have I told you to talk in English?" I said turning around to face him. Well I couldn't say much either. I talked Zacan sometimes.

Flog was a normal human just like me only he was taller by 2 inches. He always had a book or some kind of technology in his hands. Always doing calculations for something.

"Sorry, but you drop in five." He said as he pointed down the hall.

"Thank you Flog. Wish me luck and see you later." I say as I put on my X22 suit and put my A12 tube on my back.

The X22 suit was made for combat and survival. It came with two blades that were near your wrists. It also came with built in shield, heating system, and active camo. And a lot more things that would take all day to read off. My A12 tube was a three in one weapon. It could turn into a spear, a double bladed sword, or a double bladed stick. The tube was thin, but changed its shape when needed. I turned to Flog and gave him a hug and walked to the launching room.

I got to the launching room to find my small airship I would be taking. I walked over to it and looked it over. It wasn't bad at all it was just perfect. I opened the side door and hopped in. I turned on my radar and my engines. I put my headset on with my helmet and turned it on.

"Hello this is Alas and I'm ready for take off over." I said into the mic as I started to lift up on my joy stick to hover and get to the runway.

"Alas.You are clear for take off have a save trip." Tower said as I went down the runway and to the planet.

The trip was long a boring. All I saw was space and stars. The usual. I was maybe eleven hours into my flight when I saw it. The planet was beautiful. It had the most beautiful of moons and had a the best looking Sun I have ever seen, but in my opinion I think the moon looked the best. Hey I'm a night guy so what. The planet it's self was beautiful too. I looked like the best place for live. I was enjoying the view so much I hit something in my ship and it fell to the floor. I went down a grapes it. It was a small folder with a big A on it for Adventurer the ship I just got off of eleven hours ago. I opened it to find a piece of paper. They were orders for the mission. They had all the others like fly to planet and drop down, but this time there were extra.

"If you happen to find life of Planet E then learn there ways and report back to Adventurer in one year. We will be orbiting the planet in one year. Radio in when ready." I read aloud as I looked over the new orders.

"Well seems easy enough. Well let's get ready to drop." I say as I go to the back of the ship were my drop pod is. I get my stuff and a small bag full of first aid and food and get in the pod. I turn on the controls and push a small green button and count down starts.

3 2 1 BOOM! I was launched from my airship and was heading for the planet.

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"Hey Twilight why are we going to AppleJack's?" Pinki Pie asked as her and Twilight walked down the dirt road leading to Sweet Apple Acres.

"She invited us to dinner, so we're going." Twilight said.

"Hey Twilight?" Pinki asked looking up at the sky.

"What?" She asked as she looked up to wear Pinki was looking at.

"What is that?" Pinki asked as something fell from the sky on fire and landed by Sweet Apple Acres.

"I don't know, but whatever it was its not good." Twilight said as her and Pinki started running towards the object.

##########################

I landed with a heavy thud. I push the release button and my door fell off. I climbed out to see trees on fire and two colorful ponys.

"So there is life, but do they talk?" I said out load and felt stupid. There ponys they don't talk.

"Hey Twi what is that thing?" The pink pony said. I jumped back at the statement. They fucking talk?! I was so confused I mean come on now talking pony. No one would ever believe me back at Adventurer. So I said what I always say when I meet new people or things.

"Hey." I say and smile.

"It talks." The purple pony said in aw.

"Ya I can talk. So may I ask how you can talk?" I asked the purple pony who was already searching me all around to see what I was.

"Well we do have a brain silly, and a voice box." The pink one said as it bounced up and down.

"Ok I guess?" I was highly confused at the moment and did not know what to do.

"We got to get you to Celestia now!" The purple pony said as I started to hear a sizzling sound and was soon thrown into emptiness and into a room full of marble flooring.

I got up and looked around. This place was amazing. It had beautiful glass windows with pictures on them. The room itself was beautiful also with its shiny clean marbled floor and its beautiful scenery. I turned around to see a tall yet beautiful white pony and a smaller yet again beautiful dark blue pony. They were both setting on gold thrones and were looking down at me.

"Hello I'm princess Celestia and this is Princess Luna." Twilight sent us a note telling us that she saw something fall from the sky. Are you the one that fell from the sky?" Celestia asked.

This pony was obviously royalty and acted like it, but she also had a motherly voice when she talked making you feel save.

"Ummm...Yes yes I am." I say still a little confused to why they are talking.

"I see. Well then we must see what you are and were you came from if you don't mind." Celestia asked me.

"Sure why not." I say and follow her down a hallway.

I get to a small room with red carpet and some small pieces of furniture.

"We will be back in a little bit. We must do some research on what you are and how you act." Celestia said as she walked away closing the door behind her.

I sat down on one of the chairs that were by the window and looked out. It was beautiful I mean I know I've been saying that a lot, but still it's so incredible. I soon found myself thinking about that dark blue pony. Were she go off to and how did she disappear like that. I thought about it until I soon found myself falling asleep.

Comments

[MuzaWaza]

You better not let them invade his mind or something.

[tomla134]

That was a little… abrupt. But it's good, if a little off-grammar, and I can't wait to see where this goes.

[Radioactive Ultra Donkey]

Punctuation.
This story was a pain to read due to the lack of punctuation.
I also don't know how you managed to get Pinkie's name wrong.

The first thing the human said was

"Hey."

"Hello I'm princess Celestia and this is Princess Luna." Twilight sent us a note telling us that she saw something fall from the sky. Are you the one that fell from the sky?"

When did she send the letter? Again, little to no character development.

No build up whatsoever. To be honest I see no future for this story, since you started the story and ended with the character meeting the princesses in less that 1.500 words.

I understand that this may be your first fic, but many mistakes could have been avoided by just re-reading it, and not rushing it.

Take this as constructive criticism.

~RuD

[Writer Fire]

Thank you guys for the criticism and sorry it was short. The next chapters should be longer if college doesn't get in the way.

[Secrets101]

I find it weird that the main character did not react much at all really when he saw the ponies but princess celestia did not take him as a threat at all, meh.

[miraak]

What no beating up any ponys????

[MythrilMoth]

3438958

The next chapters should be longer if college doesn't get in the way.

if college doesn't get in the way

college

EPIC. FAIL.

[Mike the Red]

You need an editor.