More! More! The fighting sequence was incredible, every detail captured in a way that had me at the edge of my seat the whole time. (And the mane-na pun. I had to laugh at that). It was interesting seeing Discord seem to panic slightly and loose his trickster side. It gave an incredibly scary image that competed the scene. I feel like you could have expanded just a tiny bit on Harry's scene at then end, it felt a little bit rushed, but I guess that's why this is just chapter one, you just needed to get him in there. I'll be watching this one.
Great story so far, detailed perfectly so we know what happens but not so much that we get bored. Amazing story so far too, keep up the awesome work please.
Being more or less a utopia, Equestria provides an environment that lacks any of the stimulus that we encounter as we grow. Hence, while they might ACT like teenagers, it is entirely possible that they're actually in their later teens/early adulthood-- it's just that they haven't had to grow up as fast as we do. Does that make sense?
...That, and if I did make them the age they appear to be-- early to mid teens-- it would be extremely awkward when an early- to mid-twenties Harry starts sleeping with them.
Er... change what? I've gone back to check, and I never describe them as grown women. Can you point out where I describe them as such? I might have missed it...
Also, "young women" status would technically start at 18, since that's the age of adulthood in America...
I know a bit of random stuff and got a good result on the last exame. But far from the best :(
You will need to look around to find my home deep in the ground. The door in the roof is the only way down to my staircase. I like to be insolated and it is easy to make the trapdoor invisibul so none that don know magic will find me.
A wand of oke and a core of unicorn hair is what i use. But my fireplace shimny was not easy to hide. And I am glad none think of a fire when they se the smoke.
Some bopkases whit my old school books and a standard culdron is something I have but my ingridiens storage is bad. I may be from Sweden and that, but in a evergreen forest is a nice place to live. But the magic I sence now is fealing wird. Now I must find some new spells to test. This is my ultimate test. I must detect where this new magic surce is an secure it from evil. This is what I do for livign. Find and secure what shuld not be here. Make so it can't be use for evil. My name is Kim M. F. and I aprov this story very much.
297957 I am actuly proud of having ADHD and Asberger. It makes me feal special. I meby must take medicin to be calm in school (and it unfortunantli makes so I'm don´t feal hunger and don't eat as much as I'm suposed to) but it makes me me. My abilities in relion mey be bad but I'm god in history and geografic. I don't like to se the inside of a body but I am astoniched by electronic, SPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEE, andanyhing els in physic and kemi (don't know its english conterpart name), and I mey be laking in physical gymnastic put I can do the mental. I am put up to be a game designer, if it don´t work a electik worker, if that don´t go maybe something whit history. I take it out one day at a time.
And i thing it was my ADHD and Asberger that make me whrit this. I can't stop talking when the stream is going.
Despite me absolutely loathing things like Ferraris, Rich people, politicians and Harry Potter, I'll still give this a chance. I just hope you don't send them to Hogmoles or whatever the hell their school is called.
Okay, I'll give this story a shot, but your opening warning of GOD!Harry has me very dubious. I depise overpowered characters, I find it's thier flaws and weaknesses that make thier strengths and accomplishments that much more amazing.
Too often I've seen stories suffer a sort of FanBOY flanderizing that is just as bad as Fangirlish shipping fics. Its kinda in the opposite direction, making one character so overpowered and badass it makes them just as shallow and boring. It's like Litereary testosterone poisoning, and it's horrible to watch. I haven't seen enough to judge yet, too often I see good character simply torn apart. It's fine in a parodylike- humor comedy story, but not in more beliavble and serious efforts.
I'll comment further as I get time to read the chapter. I keep searching for good- Ponies into Humans stories. Maybe I found one, lets see.
Well I like how you made Discord into a fight worthy villian instead of canon. The main reason he lost in the series is that he didn't take the fight all that serious, so it would make sense that he would go all out because he was truly afraid of the elements.
When is this, exactly? I'm assuming 1-2 years after the death of old Voldermort. Unrelated: I'm fine with Mary Sues if they don't survive this (Setting was "Pocket Death Star", by the way.)
She couldn't ask the only other unicorn in their group, Rarity, to attack for her, either, as she was busy being a magical conduit… not that it would have done much even if Rarity had been able to attack-- her "Special Talent" automatically precluded knowledge of attack spells, even one as relatively simple as the Magic Missile.
Is it relevant to the plot to throw in behind this interpretation of special talents? If not, I recommend changing it to something like "her strong focus on dexterity over strength".
As-is, it feels like a needless, blatant attack on my suspension of disbelief, since it's so divergent from not just my headcanon, but my perception of what headcanons are compatible with canon.
(TL;DR: Must you really imply that special talents can remove ability in addition to adding it, rather than merely being necessary to reach the "stats" required for the average unicorn to cast certain spells?)
Good story... Can't say I'm a Harry Potter fan myself though, so in my head, I'm changing his name to Frank.
As long as there's no magic from the human side of things, I'm willing to keep reading.
Apart from that, good story. I say keep going!
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/151/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg
More! More!
The fighting sequence was incredible, every detail captured in a way that had me at the edge of my seat the whole time. (And the mane-na pun. I had to laugh at that). It was interesting seeing Discord seem to panic slightly and loose his trickster side. It gave an incredibly scary image that competed the scene.
I feel like you could have expanded just a tiny bit on Harry's scene at then end, it felt a little bit rushed, but I guess that's why this is just chapter one, you just needed to get him in there.
I'll be watching this one.
This story shows promise and I honestly want to know what happens next. Tracking and Watching you my friend.
Ooooo! This is going to be good.
img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/icer190/Reaction%20Images/PinkiePiePopcorn.jpg
Great story so far, detailed perfectly so we know what happens but not so much that we get bored. Amazing story so far too, keep up the awesome work please.
Just one thing.
Twilight and her friends are teens, not fully grown women yet.
You need to reduce their ages some.
293411
Actually, I have a theory for that...
Being more or less a utopia, Equestria provides an environment that lacks any of the stimulus that we encounter as we grow. Hence, while they might ACT like teenagers, it is entirely possible that they're actually in their later teens/early adulthood-- it's just that they haven't had to grow up as fast as we do. Does that make sense?
...That, and if I did make them the age they appear to be-- early to mid teens-- it would be extremely awkward when an early- to mid-twenties Harry starts sleeping with them.
293468 When they fought Discord Fluttershy was 20, the rest were 19.
Still it's your fic and you can make them whatever age you want to now.
But just my opinion, when I see the phrase "grown women" I think 30-40, "young women" is 20-29... might want to change that.
293756
Er... change what? I've gone back to check, and I never describe them as grown women. Can you point out where I describe them as such? I might have missed it...
Also, "young women" status would technically start at 18, since that's the age of adulthood in America...
Very interesting. I look forward to reading more of this.
I wonder one thing.
How did the harmony charged magic misile spell teleport them to (if I am right whit the location) Godrick's hollow.
295033
That'll be explained in a couple chapters. And whoever said they were at Godric's Hollow?
Well I at lest know it is not Privit Drive. I don't know if it was a forest near Sirius old house.
295884
No, not Privet Dr. or Grimmauld Place. Don't try guessing, as Potter Manor is mobile in my fic.
I was realy unsure there.
296050
I'm keeping you guessing, then. Good.
Guess which house I was in on Hogwarts.
I know a bit of random stuff and got a good result on the last exame. But far from the best :(
You will need to look around to find my home deep in the ground. The door in the roof is the only way down to my staircase. I like to be insolated and it is easy to make the trapdoor invisibul so none that don know magic will find me.
A wand of oke and a core of unicorn hair is what i use. But my fireplace shimny was not easy to hide. And I am glad none think of a fire when they se the smoke.
Some bopkases whit my old school books and a standard culdron is something I have but my ingridiens storage is bad. I may be from Sweden and that, but in a evergreen forest is a nice place to live. But the magic I sence now is fealing wird. Now I must find some new spells to test. This is my ultimate test. I must detect where this new magic surce is an secure it from evil. This is what I do for livign. Find and secure what shuld not be here. Make so it can't be use for evil.
My name is Kim M. F. and I aprov this story very much.
297863
...LOL wat?
297868
I don't know why I wroth it. I gues I got myself to much in my Harry Potter fantasy. And the house I was in on Hogwarts was Ravenclaw.
297868
I also think it is my ADHD and Asberger that make me wrhite it and this.
297877
Ah... I feel your pain. I've got ADD-- not as bad as ADHD, but still annoying...
297957
I am actuly proud of having ADHD and Asberger.
It makes me feal special.
I meby must take medicin to be calm in school (and it unfortunantli makes so I'm don´t feal hunger and don't eat as much as I'm suposed to) but it makes me me.
My abilities in relion mey be bad but I'm god in history and geografic.
I don't like to se the inside of a body but I am astoniched by electronic, SPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEE, andanyhing els in physic and kemi (don't know its english conterpart name), and I mey be laking in physical gymnastic put I can do the mental.
I am put up to be a game designer, if it don´t work a electik worker, if that don´t go maybe something whit history. I take it out one day at a time.
And i thing it was my ADHD and Asberger that make me whrit this. I can't stop talking when the stream is going.
298068
In that case, I'll stop for you.
290422
I agree with you completely
Despite me absolutely loathing things like Ferraris, Rich people, politicians and Harry Potter, I'll still give this a chance. I just hope you don't send them to Hogmoles or whatever the hell their school is called.
Okay, I'll give this story a shot, but your opening warning of GOD!Harry has me very dubious. I depise overpowered characters, I find it's thier flaws and weaknesses that make thier strengths and accomplishments that much more amazing.
Too often I've seen stories suffer a sort of FanBOY flanderizing that is just as bad as Fangirlish shipping fics. Its kinda in the opposite direction, making one character so overpowered and badass it makes them just as shallow and boring. It's like Litereary testosterone poisoning, and it's horrible to watch. I haven't seen enough to judge yet, too often I see good character simply torn apart. It's fine in a parodylike- humor comedy story, but not in more beliavble and serious efforts.
I'll comment further as I get time to read the chapter.
I keep searching for good- Ponies into Humans stories. Maybe I found one, lets see.
I'll give it a shot. Oh and I love the Lovecraft ->Lovecoltian reference..thing. Twas very funny.
Well I like how you made Discord into a fight worthy villian instead of canon. The main reason he lost in the series is that he didn't take the fight all that serious, so it would make sense that he would go all out because he was truly afraid of the elements.
I can tell when a story is good when the crossover didn't appeal to me and I enjoy the story
moustache of approval
When is this, exactly? I'm assuming 1-2 years after the death of old Voldermort. Unrelated: I'm fine with Mary Sues if they don't survive this (Setting was "Pocket Death Star", by the way.)
In the words of Newton: bollocks
Draconequus
Is it relevant to the plot to throw in behind this interpretation of special talents? If not, I recommend changing it to something like "her strong focus on dexterity over strength".
As-is, it feels like a needless, blatant attack on my suspension of disbelief, since it's so divergent from not just my headcanon, but my perception of what headcanons are compatible with canon.
(TL;DR: Must you really imply that special talents can remove ability in addition to adding it, rather than merely being necessary to reach the "stats" required for the average unicorn to cast certain spells?)