“Actually, Twilight,” said Celestia, “that does seem to fit with his history. When Luna and I first used the Elements of Harmony against Discord... now that I think about it... it's actually surprising just how easily we got to him. At the time, I was just glad we did it – later, when I had had a chance to think about it, I'd assumed he was overconfident. But if he really wanted the outcome of our duel to be uncertain...”
“So... should I do it?” asked Twilight. “Should I try to surprise him? I mean, he's already proven that he can predict me fifty-three moves in advance... what if this is the start of some evil plan which ends with the Elements being turned on him again?”
“Your concerns are valid.” said the Princess, stepping off her throne and walking towards one of the stained-glass windows; the one commemorating the Elements sealing Discord in stone. “But I do not believe that Discord is currently putting any sort of evil plan into operation. Instead, this sounds like a cry for help. I think that Discord genuinely wants to stay reformed, for Fluttershy's sake. And because of this, Twilight, I am going to ask you to do something even more difficult than Discord asked.”
“Even... more difficult?” asked Twilight.
“Yes, Twilight.” the Princess turned away from the window, and smiled at the nervous mare. “Surprising Discord is, at best, a temporary solution. Given what he told you, I don't expect it to do more than gain us about six months. What I ask you to do, Twilight, is to create a situation in which Discord will receive regular surprises. At least two per year, on average.”
Twilight gulped. “Two per year?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“Yes.” said Celestia. “I don't expect precision on that figure. Once a year some years, ideally thrice a year in other years... it doesn't help being too predictable about the dates of the surprises. After all, it's very hard to surprise somepony when they're expecting a surprise.” Celestia sighed. “Which will make the first surprise that you deliver to Discord very difficult indeed. I would strongly recommend asking your friends for ideas, as soon as you get back to Ponyville.”
* * *
“Fifty-three moves ahead?” asked Rainbow Dash, incredulously.
“That's a whole lot of moves.” said Spike.
“Ah didn't even think that was possible, Twi.” added Applejack.
“Well, if he did it, then it was done, and if it was done, then it might as well be possible.” said Pinkie. “Though... he's a spirit of chaos, right? He does impossible things all the time, it's kind of like his signature move. I mean, cotton candy clouds? Have you ever tried to make cotton candy float in the sky? I have, and trust me, it doesn't work, even if you soak it in chocolate milk first. Actually, especially if you soak it in chocolate milk first. So... what was I saying again?”
“Let's keep our minds on the task, girls.” said Twilight. “Any ideas for how to surprise somepony who can think fifty-three moves ahead?”
“Silly Twilight!” said Pinkie. “Discord's not a pony!”
“Thank you for your input, Pinkie.” said Twilight, flatly. “Anypony else?”
“Well, Discord's not a pony,” said Rarity, “and as the only Dragonequus around, there aren't many Dragonequus stereotypes to draw on; but he is a, well, a 'he'. Perhaps we can work with that in some manner?”
“Sonic rainboom.” said Dash. “Close range. That'll make anyone jump, trust me.”
“Oh, dear.” said Fluttershy. “But – wouldn't that be more startling than surprising? Surprises are nice, but being startled is, well, rather startling...”
“Eh, close enough.” Rainbow waved a dismissive hoof.
“Ooooh! Oooooh!” Pinkie jumped up and down, waving a hoof. “I know what to do! What we do is, there's seven of us, right? So we invite Discord to Ponyville for a week, and then we each take a day, and on our day we do our very best to give Discord a great big surprise! And I'll bake a cake, and whoever gives Discord the biggest surprise gets to take the cake! And the winner also chooses what flavour. Ooooh! I want day one! I know exactly what to do on day one!”
There were a few moments of silence. Then Twilight said “Well... that seems workable...”
“What exactly are you plannin' on doin', sugarcube?” asked Applejack.
Pinkie gasped. “I can't tell you!” she said. “A plan that's described before it happens never works as planned. Didn't you know that? To make a plan work, you have to tell nopony until it's already done.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Seriously?” she asked.
“Nopony.” said Pinkie, firmly. “By the way, Dash, that means that your sonic rainboom won't be a surprise. You'll have to think of something else for your day.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Meh. It won't take long. I can pull off the rainboom early in the morning and then think of something else awesome if that fails.”
Excellent.
The problem being that even I could predict that Twilight would go to her friends and ask them for help. It's kind of her basic nature.
If I were trying to surprise Discord, I think the best person to ask for help would be Captain Picard. Just having him show up at all might be surprising enough.
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I'm glad you like it.
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Eeeeeyup. And Discord has predicted that. And Twilight knows that Discord has predicted that.
But she's hoping that maybe... just maybe... one of them can come up with an idea that Discord can't predict. The odds have got to better than if she tries without asking them, right?
Yes, that would work, once. The trouble is, Twilight would have no idea who you're talking about, and no idea how to contact him... and that really doesn't solve the problem of regular surprises, either.
If Pinkie knows that a plan that has been described always fails, shouldn't she also know that going first guarantees she'll fail?
5979856 She also might think/know that it is necessary for her to go first.
The “said (name)” is getting a bit repetitive...
See, Pinkie is the most optimal choice. She’s rather similar to Discord, come to think about it...