Jurassic Park Ponified

by RustyNails

Derpy and the Dilophasaurus

In the control room, the situation was becoming more maddening. BrightBulb searched through all of the computer's past actions trying to find what had caused the park systems to fail.

"I don't believe this." said BrightBulb.
Twilight and Fluttershy looked over his shoulder.

"What's going on?" asked Twilight.

"Everything." responded Bright. "Look at this. Keychecks baseliners off. Keychecks off. Derpy didn't want anyone to see what she was going to do, so she turned the safety and security systems off, as well as their back ups."
He scrolled down the computer's command history menu.

"Now look at this command. This ones the kicker. 'White Rabbit Object.' Whatever this command did, it did everything. Normally we could find the command and reset it easily, but with the keychecks off the computer didn't record the keystroke so the only way to find it now is to go through the system's lines of code one by one."

"How many lines of code are there?" asked Fluttershy.

"Two main."

"As in two million?" asked Twilight.
Bright nodded and sighed acknowledging the enormity of this unsolvable problem, of which he had no idea how to fix. Uncle Orange stood motionless in the middle of the room like in a trance. He was dumbfounded as to how this perfect system in which he had the utmost confidence was collapsing all around him like a Jenga game. Twilight and Fluttershy approached him.

"Uncle Orange. We'd like to take one of the gas jeeps and go rescue my friends."
Uncle Orange didn't say anything as he was still in shock, but nodded. The unicorn and pegasus both grabbed raincoats off the wall and exited the room. Uncle Orange still stood motionless and slightly dazed.

"Orange..." said Bright trying to get his attention.

"Orange."
Bright's' voice snapped Orange out of his trance and he turned to respond him.

"There's no way to get Jurassic Park back online without Derpy Hooves."
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Elsewhere in the park, Derpy's jeep rolled through the heavy rain.

"I should have been at the dock by now."
Since plowing into the sign, she had gotten lost and didn't know where she was. If she had missed the boat, she'd have to go back to the visitor's center, reset the system, and contact Filthy Rich. There would also be considerable heck to pay from Orange and the others in the control room. The inner turmoil of her predicament took her attention off the road. Looking up she swerved the steering wheel in a panic. The jeep skidded again, this time crashing through a muddy embankment and getting stuck at the top of a small but steep hill. Derpy got out to see the hind wheels in the grip of a fallen tree branch. When she hit the gas pedal, the wheels just spun in the air. Luckily just below the hill was the road the the dock."

"There it is."
Using her teeth, Derpy pulled out the winch cable on the front bumper. There were some trees across the road. If she attached the cable to the trees, she could winch the jeep down the hill and be back on the road. As she was pulling out the cable, Derpy slipped and fell down the embankment landing flat on her face in the flooded road.

"Cable! Where's the cable?!"
She found the cable and dragged it over to to the thicket of trees. A strange sound came from beside her. It sounded like giggling or laughing, but not from a pony. Whatever it was, she didn't want to be involved in it.

"Come on Derpy, you can do this."
She wrapped the cable around a large tree and anchored it in the clip. A weird looking dinosaur popped its head out from behind the tree, hooting at the grey pegasus.

"Whoa!"
It stuck its head out from the other side, almost in a playful manner. Derpy grinned mildly afraid.

"Yeah, that's nice, but I've gotta go."
Sliding the cable through her mouth, Derpy made her way back up to the jeep. She heard more hoots from behind. Turning around, there was the dinosaur, a dilophosaurus. It was not much bigger than her and had two crests on its head. It curiously looked Derpy over making a clicking sound.

"Hey, nice dinosaur. Thought you were one of the bigger ones. You're not so bad."

"What do you want? You want to play, or food, or what? Look, I'm soaking wet and I'm in a real hurry. I don't have time to play."
The dilo kinked its head and hooted. Derpy picked up a stick in her mouth.

"Or, you wanna play fetch? Want the stick? The stick? Here, the stick. Stick! Stick stupid! Fetch the stick!"
Derpy tossed the stick into the bush and the dilo seemed to follow it. She picked up the cable and sniggered to herself.

"No wonder their extinct."
Derpy climbed back up to the jeep thinking how clever she was. What she didn't know was that the Dilophosaurus was following her. She tripped on her way back up the hill. When she turned around she saw the dinosaur right in front of her. Derpy started to get nervous. This thing was clearly interested in her. The dinosaur sniffed around her hooves then made direct almost uneasy eye contact.

The dinosaur expanded its neck cowl and it roared a vicious raspy roar. The shaking cowl made blood curling rattle like a rattlesnake. Snapping its jaws, the dinosaur hurled black sticky venom at Derpy, which landed on her chin and shoulder, burning her skin. In a panic Derpy clambered back up to the jeep to get away from the hissing dinosaur. Just as she got to the door, the Dilo spat again hitting her straight in the eyes. Derpy screamed as her eyes burned in excruciating pain. She couldn't see. Struggling to get back inside, she wacked her head on the roof and fell backwards. The shaving cream can with the embryos fell out of her coat pocket and was washed down the hill.

Derpy came too from wacking her head on the jeep. Her vision was blury from the venom and she couldn't see where she was. She tried to get up, but a pair of clawed feet pinned her down. The dilophosaurus rattled is cowl and roared. It pounced on Derpy and tore the pony to shreds. Derpy's helpless screams filled the rainy jungle as the dilo devoured her. The shaving cream can came to rest on a muddy ledge down the hill.Two more dilos hopped up the hill to join in the feast. One of them stepped on the can crushing it.
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At the base of the concrete wall, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash along with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were reeling from the T-Rex attack. They were soaked to the bone, covered in mud, and had nasty bleeding and bruises. Applejack dipped her face in the spill-off of a large drain pipe to wash some of the mud off.

"Ughh!! I'm an absolute mess!" Rarity wailed. "All this mud, these cuts on my face, and my mane!! Everything was going so nicely too. How could such a great weekend turn so unseemly!?"

"I'll tell ya how!" Applejack angrily retorted. "A zoo of big lizards who are supposed to be extinct! That's how! No wonder Twilight had doubts about this place. By golly my Uncle Orange's gone too far."
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were shaken by being attacked by a Tyrannosaurus and could barely talk. The explorer vehicle was stuck way up in the branches a huge tree with Scootaloo trapped inside.

"Scootaloo!! Called Rainbow Dash. "Can you hear me! Scootaloo!"

"That poor filly must be hurt who knows how after going off that cliff like that. How we gonna get her down?"

"Normally I could fly up there, but with my wing broken I'll have to climb up and get her."

"Rainbow Dash, you're a pony. You can't climb trees."

"I'll figure out how! I've gotta do something!"
Rarity dunk her head under the drain spill off desperate for some sense of cleanliness. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle started to panic. Seeing as everypony was on the verge of a major freakout, Applejack corralled the group together in an attempt to retain order.

"Alright everypony, listen up. I know this weekend has gone down the cadoodle, and what we just went through was pretty horrifying..."

"Horrifying?!" Rarity shrieked. "We were just thrown off a cliff by a Tyrannosaurus!!!!"

"Shut up!" Applejack snapped back. "This ain't time for spittin bits. Everypony's gotta keep their heads on. We'all don't know what were gonna do just yet, and we're all scared as we got extinct lizards runnin around with a sweet tooth for pony. But we're gonna stick together, all of us."

"She left us!" Sweetie Belle wailed until Applejack grabbed her with her hooves.

"But we won't. Okay?"
Sweetie Belle nodded stiffly.

"We're all in this together."
They all put their hooves together.

"I'm gonna get Scootaloo."
Rainbow left to rescue the pegasus filly. Applejack and Rarity sat down with their sisters at the base of the wall, holding them respectively.

"Sorry for snappin at ya there Rarity."

"It's no trouble sweetness. Anypony could lose their mind in a situation like this."

Rainbow Dash clopped to the base of the giant tree. The car was stuck almost 100 feet up among some thick branches.

"Okay Rainbow Dash, how are you going to climb this?"
She stood up on her hind hooves and started feeling around for where she could place her hooves. She found a spot and firmly placed her hoof. Like a rock climber, she felt around for other safe spots, and climbed up the trunk. After fifteen feet, she could reach the lower branches. She jumped from the trunk to a branch. Climbing with hooves was certainly a challenge. She dangled for a bit, then pulled herself up. One hoof at a time she scaled her way up the enormous tree.

"Scootaloo! I'm coming up to get ya!"
Inch by inch, foot by foot, hoof by hoof, she climbed higher.

"Mother of Celestia, this tree is enormous."
She reached the tour vehicle climbing up to the smashed window.

"Scoots?
Scootaloo was huddled in the foot area of the front passenger side. She was soaking wet, muddy, bleeding, and bruised, but wasn't seriously hurt.

"Scootaloo." Rainbow opened the door.

"Are you okay?"

"I threw up."

"I'm sorry."
Rainbow reached out her hoof.

"Just give me your hoof."
Scootaloo didn't move. She just stared at Rainbow, too scared to move a muscle.

"Hey I won't tell anypony you threw up, just give me your hoof."
She reached farther inside unknowingly turning the steering wheel with her other hoof. Scootaloo got up slowly and reached for Rainbow. Rainbow helped her climb over the cars console.

"Easy, I gotcha. Just go slowly."

"Don't pull me hard."

"Sorry. You're almost there."
Scootaloo stepped out of the car and onto the tree branch. The ponies didn't know it but the branches were stressing under the car's weight. Any minute they could snap. Instead they were confronted by another problem, the enormous climb down to the bottom.

"How do we get down from here?"

"There's only one way down." Rainbow replied. "And trust me, it's not as bad as it looks."

"Yes it is."
Rainbow had to think of something to re-assure Scoots.

"It's...uh...it's liking climbing down from your clubhouse."

"It's not this high."

"I know it's not. Most important rule about climbing, never never look down."

"This is crazy."

"I know it's crazy."

How am I going to do this?"

"We're gonna do it together, just..."
A branch snapped and the car jerked.

"Oh no."
Rainbow just realized the situation was getting worse.

"Go."
The two started climbing down as the branches holding the car started to bend. With one snap, the car fell down about ten feet before being stopped by some thicker branches. Rainbow covered her head as the car hit the branches. When she looked up, her pupils shrank. She started climbing down faster to the lower branches. They had to get out of the tree before the car crushed them. The branches holding the car up started to bend and creak.The two pegasi looked up. Rainbow gaped at the car buckling the branches.

"Go! Scootaloo Go!"
They jumped down the tree as fast as they could. The car finally snapped free and came crashing down after them. Jumping from branch to branch, they tried to outrun the car.

"Faster Scoots!"

"I'm trying!"
The finally reached the tree's base with the car a few feet behind.

"Jump!"
The two jumped down just as the car hit the roots at the base of the tree and stopped.

"Move Scoots."
The car pivoted on its bumper and fell over onto the ponies. Rainbow grabbed hold of Scootaloo, covering her with her body as the car landed on top of them. Luckily, they went through the open frame where the sunroof had been. The car finally came to a rest at the base of the tree.

"Well, we're back in the car again." Scootaloo moaned.

"True," Rainbow replied. "But at least we're on the ground."

Comments

[Darkdragonv0942]

oh sucks to be derpy

[not-so-anonymous]

shaving can crushed. so, movieverse only....okay then.

[pvtspoon]

Nnnnnoooooo!!! Derpy!!! Welp.... That's as far as I go.

[Wysteria]

Again...poor Derpy.