Stuck in Equestria

by Mike the Red

Separated

In all honesty, the party was quite enjoyable -- though Brenda put a very quick stop to a game I had introduced to some of the mares by punching me in the head a couple of times.

"How dare you try to play 'Spin the Bottle' with them! What the fuck is wrong with you?" my wife screeched. Many of the ponies who witnessed this attack stood in shock and stunned silence. Twilight trotted up to me, an expression of worry on her face. Pinkie scowled at Brenda. Some of the other ponies came to my defense at this point.

"Michael, are you okay? Brenda, why did you hit him like that? Do you know what punishment mares receive for attacking stallions?" asked the librarian.

"Yeah! Why do you have to be such a meaniepants? This party is supposed to be fun, and Mikey was only trying to give us another fun game to play!" the pink pony said, a bit of anger in her voice.

"Mike is my husband and he is NOT supposed to be trying to kiss you ponies! I swear there's something wrong with him! Is there a shrink in this town? He needs help!" Brenda nearly shouted. I was left holding my head where she had hit me, the pain still rather sharp.

"Um, Twi, a little help here, please?" I asked meekly. "It still hurts a bit..."

The lavender unicorn cast a little healing magic on me, alleviating most of the pain. "Thanks, I needed that."

"Princess Celestia will be hearing about this," Twilight said flatly. "You're in trouble now, Brenda."

"Don't take his side! He disrespected me! You're going to threaten ME?!"

"There was no need for violence, Brenda -- simply admonishing him would have proven sufficient -- but you physically attacked him? He was merely trying to introduce us to a new game," the librarian chided.

"You shouldn't be so jealous! He's married to you, so you shouldn't worry about him leaving you!" Pinkie chimed in.

"Acting like a ruffian does not help matters, Brenda," Rarity added.

"Stop defending him! He's the one who's wrong here!" Brenda protested stridently. Another voice was heard, this one sounding more matriarchal.

"Be that as it may, Brenda, there was no need to resort to the use of violence. I am certain your husband intended no disrespect to you -- such a game is perhaps a little suggestive, though of greater amusement than harm. Your actions cause me to question your suitability to my realm, and if there were a way for me to return you to your home world, I would take it upon myself to do so. You will have to remain separated from your husband until your behavior changes," the Solar Princess stated flatly.

"Michael, I would request you refrain from teaching my little ponies such games, as they may not be entirely accustomed to the cultural norms of your species. I would rather you have consulted with me first before teaching them such a game."

"Yes, your Majesty. I'm sorry," I stated reverently and bowed to her.

"Perhaps I should keep both of you in my castle so that I may keep a closer eye on you two. I know you mean no harm, Michael, but I fear you may prove to be a bad influence on my little ponies, and I cannot allow for that. You two will be provided room and board in my castle, and activities to occupy your time. You will be required to remain there until such time as I can determine a way to return you to your home world."

"Princess, there is much I wish to learn from him! May I visit them on occasion?" asked Twilight.

"You may, on the provision that I supervise those visits. I do not wish to have to intervene, but there are certain aspects of humanity I still do not trust. You have witnessed firsthoof those tendencies towards violence and puerile behavior." The Solar Princess then enveloped Brenda and me in her golden aura and teleported us to her castle, specifically the Great Hall. She summoned a pair of royal guardsponies to escort us to separate chambers which were adjoined by a door.

"You two will have separate rooms and a royal guardspony as a chaperon to ensure no further animosity occurs. I encourage the two of you to enjoy yourselves as much as you wish," she stated and smiled warmly at us. Brenda glared at me and raised her fist again.

"This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Mike! I swear, if it's the last thing I do --"

"Brenda, please curb your tongue. I will brook no further violence from you, lest you desire to spend some time in my dungeon," the Alicorn admonished sternly. "Michael, is there something else you wish to say?" she asked as she noticed me strike a pensive mood.

"I was just thinking, your Majesty..." I began. Brenda stole a glance at me and frowned.

"I don't like it when you think -- bad things happen," my wife said flatly. The Alicorn smiled a little bit in amusement.

"What are you thinking about, if I may be so bold as to inquire?"

"I was entertaining the possibility of becoming a pony, though I am having second thoughts about that," I replied. Brenda growled at me in anger.

"You are a human! You're not supposed to want to be a pony! Don't make me hit you again!" she bellowed. Princess Celestia hit her with a freeze spell.

"Michael, how long have you had to endure such suffering from her?"

"Twenty years, your Majesty," I replied flatly.

"I have ways of dealing with this sort of thing," she said softly, smiling at me. She used another spell on Brenda, turning her into a zebra mare and releasing her from her freeze spell. I had to stifle a chuckle, as did the Alicorn. Brenda found herself looking up at me, her new perspective causing her to panic. She galloped around frantically.

"What did you do to me? What happened? Why am I so short?"

"You're a zebra now, Brenda," I observed, trying very hard not to titter into giggles.

"You will remain in that form until I decide to change you back," Celestia said sternly. "You will learn to respect stallions."

Suddenly I found myself wrapped in a golden aura and my perspective changed quite a bit -- I was still looking down at Brenda, but from just a short distance down. I no longer towered over her as I found myself transformed into a unicorn stallion. My skin had turned into a medium purple coat of fur. I craned my neck around to see my tail had turned a two-tone orange and gold. Brenda stared at me in disbelief.

"Twilight's not going to believe this," I muttered aloud. Celestia chuckled at my statement.

"Personally, I think she might be pleased," the Alicorn mused softly.

"It's been a few months since I was last in a pony's body -- this may take a little effort for me to get my legs back, as it were," I observed.

"What do you mean by that?" asked a somewhat surprised Celestia. "I remember you saying something about wanting to visit ... again? I've never seen you before."

I told her about the previous visit to another universe and how I was in a copy of Twilight's body. She expressed amazement and disbelief upon hearing my story.

"If you don't think it's true, why not read my mind?" I asked. I tested my trotting ability and found myself almost instinctively doing so with relatively little effort. Brenda was doing the same thing, practicing her movements in order to acclimate herself to her new body. She started cantering, then galloping around swiftly, her mane and tail flowing elegantly. I smiled as I heard her start laughing.

"Princess, this is amazing! This is wonderful! Thank you so much!" Brenda said almost gleefully.

"It looks like you're enjoying that a little too much, Brenda," the Alicorn chuckled. "If you'd like, you're welcome to remain in that form for as long as you wish."

"I've never been able to move so fast!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Hey, what about that party? Can we go back?"

"I shall supervise, to ensure no further hostilities ensue. Michael, will you be joining us?"

"Yes, I shall, Princess. I think the others might find my new appearance ... interesting," I mused. Without further ado, we were whisked away back to Sugarcube Corner, where the party was still going on. The Solar Princess introduced us as everypony gasped in amazement at our new appearance.

"That means ... another party!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "Two parties on the same day! This is going to be so much fun! Hey, Mikey, ya wanna play a new game we found?"

"As long as it's not 'Spin the Bottle,' I'm cool with whatever it is," I replied. The pink party pony gave me a rather crestfallen look as Twilight sidled up to me.

"I like the new you, Michael," she grinned. "I'll teach you some magic, since you're a new unicorn," she offered softly.

"I'm still married to him! Get away from him!" Brenda exclaimed angrily as she trotted over to us. I lit my horn and erected a barrier between us.

"I hate to disappoint you, Twilight, but I already know how to use magic -- I was in a copy of your body last time I visited Ponyville," I chuckled. This drew a gasp from the librarian who hit me with a barrage of questions, which I tried to answer as best I could. I gave her the full rundown, but while I was telling my story, everypony had gathered around to listen. Even Celestia seemed enraptured by the story, though Brenda found it difficult to believe, even though I had told her this same story several times before.

"I can't believe you defeated Nightmare Moon by yourself!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly.

"I can't believe you freed me from the Sun," Celestia stated in astonishment.

"I can't believe I would have almost died like that," Pinkie said rather sullenly. "Can we go to that universe? I wanna help them."

"I have no idea of how to get there, Pinkie," I replied. "Alternate universes can be such tricky things to deal with, and you almost never know what might happen if you jump into them willy-nilly."

The party returned to its festive mood once again after my explanations of previous events. Twilight asked me more questions, though Brenda stayed very close to me to ensure nothing else happened between us. Fluttershy came up and started talking to Brenda, drawing her away from us.

"Your wife can be so mean," Twilight said, just above a whisper. "Why does she have to be like that?"

"She's been like that pretty much ever since we got married," I replied sullenly. "I think she likes being a zebra, though."

"She appears to be a bit happier, though I still don't understand why she's so jealous."

"I've been with her longer than any other man has -- and I think she might be scared of losing me to one of you, or perhaps you specifically, Twilight. She noticed I had a fascination with you, and since I'm a pony now, that has put her in a very difficult position. I see the way she's staring at me, as though she's deeply afraid I might divorce her and take you for my new wife."

Twilight blushed at my comment. "Um, I'm honored you'd consider me as a wife, Michael! But you're still married -- you're not actually going to divorce her, are you?"

"I'd like to, but there are consequences for doing that -- and I'm not prepared to deal with those just yet. So no, I'm not going to divorce her."

She scowled at me and trotted back over. "What are you two discussing? Future marriage ideas?"

"No, Brenda -- you shouldn't worry about that. Only the Princess can divorce us, and I'm not going to ask her for that," I replied flatly. "Honestly, you worry too much."

Her stomach growled at this point, causing her to blush. "How am I supposed to eat without my hands?" she asked.

"Use your hooves, like this," Pinkie Pie offered as she shoved a cupcake into my wife's mouth. She started coughing, spitting up pieces of the cupcake onto the floor.

"I can't eat a whole cupcake like that at once," she complained. "Pretty tasty, though."

"Hey, Pinkie, can I have one of those?" I asked.

"Sure, Mikey! Here ya go!" she chirped as she shoved a cupcake into my mouth. I almost gagged on it as I coughed it up.

"Pinkie, what makes you think we can swallow a whole cupcake? Just because you can doesn't mean we can too, you know," I said flatly.

"You can be such a silly billy!" she giggled and hoofed me another cupcake, which I took in my magic aura and nibbled lightly from it.

"These are quite good, Pinkie -- what kind are they?"

"I call them, 'Rainbow Cupcakes!'" she giggled. I spat it out immediately. "Just kidding, Mikey! It's just strawberry! Don't look at me like that! I was just kidding!"

"Don't prank me like that any more, Pinkie," I admonished sharply, glaring menacingly at her.

"What do you mean by 'Rainbow Cupcakes?'" Brenda asked.

"You wouldn't get the reference, Brenda. Just leave it alone, they're strawberry cupcakes ... I think," I muttered.

---

Princess Celestia took her leave, allowing us to continue mingling with the other ponies at the party, which ran until the wee hours of the morning. We had a great deal of fun, singing karaoke, where I learned several catchy new songs, we danced, where I learned how to dance as a pony, even if Brenda chose not to join me for a few of the slow dances. Pinkie Pie noticed my frustration and asked me what was wrong -- I told her Brenda didn't want to join me for a slow dance, whereupon the pink party pony forced her to. I'll have to admit, seeing her blush as a zebra proved to be an interesting sight!

Eventually the party wound down and everypony left. Twilight trotted up to us and informed us she had prepared her guest room for us, so we trotted along with her to the library. We chatted a little bit as we made our way there.

"So, Twilight, what's on the agenda for tomorrow?" I asked.

"I will have to send the Princess a letter to determine the best course of action to take with you two. She talked to me at length about what transpired earlier between you two -- she told me I was to keep the two of you separated until Brenda improved her attitude towards you, Michael."

"What does that mean? I thought my attitude towards my husband has improved to the point where we can sleep in the same bed," Brenda complained. "I don't want to sleep alone!"

"You can share my bed, Brenda," Twilight offered, a slight hint of a smile on her face.

"You're not my husband!"

"If it bothers you that much, perhaps Michael can share my bed," the librarian offered, her smile widening a bit.

"Hell NO! I won't let him do that!" the zebra shouted as loud as she could.

"I was told to keep you two separated -- Brenda, you are not to disobey the Princess. The consequences of disobeying her might be a greater punishment than you might want to face," Twilight stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm going to have some words with her about keeping me from my husband! I don't care WHO she is, she can NOT keep me from my HUSBAND!! If I can't sleep with him, NO ONE CAN!!" Brenda bellowed, her eyes flashing red with rage.

"I believe I've seen enough," came another voice from seemingly out of nowhere. Brenda turned around in a circle to determine where it had come from, only to bump face to chest-plate with the Solar Princess herself, who glowered at the zebra in disapproval. "Brenda, my earlier statement still holds. You are not permitted to remain with your husband, and as a result of your outburst, you will be confined to my Castle until I decide you are ready to rejoin your stallion."

"WHAT? You can't be serious! Who gave you the authority to keep me from my HUSBAND?!"

Celestia chuckled. "You don't seem to understand, Brenda. I am the ruler of this land and my word is law. Defiance and insubordination are actions I have little tolerance for. I caution you to calm yourself, lest you provoke my ire. Since you are now in my realm, you must respect me as your leader -- I am royalty, though you are unaware of that fact. I shall take you to my Castle and I will demonstrate for you the level of my power in the morning when I raise my Sun."

"But ... but ... I don't want to sleep alone! I have slept by my husband's side almost every night for the last 20 years! Please don't take me away from him! I don't want to lose him to ... that purple pony he seems to be obsessed with!"

"My name is Twilight, Brenda -- I have a name, you know! Don't worry, I will not take your husband from you -- I will respect your desire -- your husband will still have the guest room, though," the librarian offered, trying to assuage her fears.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Twilight -- it's that I don't trust Michael to behave himself! Now that he's here, and he's close to you, I don't think he'll be able to control himself!"

"She's a fine one to talk," I muttered under my breath. Twilight's smile widened ever so slightly as she just barely heard what I said, though Brenda was a little too far away to hear it. "Don't worry, Brenda, I'll behave, I promise," I stated in my normal tone of voice.

"You'd better behave yourself!" my wife shouted at me. Celestia glowered at my wife.

"You must learn to trust your husband, Brenda. I believe I may have to keep you in my Castle a bit longer than I had anticipated for the purpose of re-educating you in the ways of the pony," she stated flatly, maintaining a serious gaze towards the zebra. I saw her eyes go wide as saucers, her pupils diminishing to pin-pricks.

"How long is that?" she asked. Her knees seemed to tremble a little as the fear of spending a long time away from anything or anyone she knew started to take root in her.

I turned my attention to the Alicorn. "Your Majesty, please go easy on her -- she's still my wife and I just hope you don't return her to me a shell of her former self. I will be quite distraught if she's broken when she comes back to me."

"Relax, Michael, I will see to it she is returned to you unharmed. Brenda, the length of your stay and course of re-education cannot be determined with any degree of accuracy until you have been fully evaluated. Given your present emotional state and evidence of your recent outbursts, I believe it may take about a year or so before you can reunite with your husband." Brenda's jaw dropped as she fell to her haunches.

"NOO! Please, Princess! Please, I can't be away from him for that long! Please!" she wailed as tears started trickling down her cheeks. I expressed a degree of shock at this mention, my face not betraying my surprise.

"As I said before, Brenda, how long this takes is entirely up to you. If your progress is swift, the process will take considerably less time, though that still remains to be determined. Michael, I apologize for the inconvenience this will cause you."

"I trust your judgment, your Majesty, but please try to get this done as swiftly as possible. I don't like sleeping alone either, you know," I offered. Brenda trotted up to me and tried to hug me before the Alicorn used her magic to stop her in her tracks before she even got close to me. "Please, your Majesty, we're going to be away from each other for too long. Please let me hold her one more time before you take her with you," I pleaded. Celestia relented, releasing her hold on the zebra, who trotted to me and embraced me in a tight hug. "I love you, Brenda," I whispered in her ears, causing her to smile.

"I love you too, Mike, even if I don't show it very often," she replied, tears still tracing their way down her cheeks. The Alicorn cleared her throat loudly to get our attention.

"If you don't mind, I believe the time has come for me to take Brenda back to my Castle," she stated somewhat coldly, still glowering at the zebra.

"Don't let me go," she pleaded with me as I held her tightly in my forelegs.

"I'm sorry, Brenda, please forgive me," I sighed sadly.

"Don't tell me this was YOUR idea!" she shouted at me, raising her left forehoof in an attempt to strike me again. She was immediately hit with a freeze spell from the Princess, who shouted, "Enough!" in her Royal Canterlot Voice, startling both of us. She used her telekinesis to separate us and teleported back to her castle with my wife.

"Sorry you had to endure that," Twilight said, offering me some sympathy. "How long have you suffered like that?"

"She's been like that for nearly the entire time we've been married, Twilight. I never know from one day to the next what lies in store for me when I get home from work. Sometimes she's nice to me and some days ... well, she can be a bit of a --"

My words were interrupted by the librarian stuffing a hoof in my mouth. "I think I know where you were going with your line of reasoning, Michael, and I'd rather not hear you say something disparaging about your wife. I feel sorry for you -- I can't even imagine what it must be like for you to have to put up with somepony who is so disrespectful of you." She removed her hoof at this point.

"That tasted awful," I commented. "Next time, make sure your hooves are clean, please?"

"Sorry," she said by way of a halfhearted apology, though she also grinned sheepishly at my reaction.

"I'm tired, Twilight, let's get some sleep," I said as I trotted the last several steps toward the library. I expected her to trot beside me, but apparently she was still standing where we had been. She appeared to be lost in thought. "Um, Twilight? I need for you to open the door -- I'm not gonna just barge on in, and I thought I saw Spike at the party -- or did he leave?"

"Oh, sorry, Michael, I was just thinking about what you had told me. Spike was at the party, but he left early to get some sleep -- he's going to be helping Rarity at the boutique tomorrow and he wanted to be well rested so he could help her to the best of his ability. I'll let you in and show you to the guest room." She smiled and grinned sheepishly again before trotting to the door and opening it for me. I followed her inside, whereupon she closed and locked the door behind her as silently as she could. "Don't wanna wake him up, you know," she grinned. I followed her upstairs to the second level and she opened the guest room door for me. "Pleasant dreams, Michael," she offered.

"My dreams would be a bit more pleasant if you were to let me join you, Twilight," I said, flashing a big toothy grin.

"Michael! You said you were going to behave!"

"Yeah, I know -- but I don't like sleeping alone. Even so, I shall honor my wife's request and sleep by myself. Good-night, Twilight," I said softly as I entered the guest room and laid down on the bed. She shut the door behind me after bidding me good-night in return. I dreamt about her that night, though Brenda would occasionally intrude into those dreams.