Piefall: A Clandestine Corps Adventure

by AugieDog

Act III: For Your Pies Only

Head throbbing despite the hornvocaine, Blueblood pushed the emergency room's double doors open with a hoof—no magic for the rest of the day, the doctor had said—and stopped at the scores of silent, anxious faces staring at him, the hospital's front lobby filled. Nearly everypony in town, it seemed to him.

"Prince Blueblood?" The voice pulled his attention to Princess Sparkle stepping forward. "Are you all right?"

Of the various things he wanted to shout—Oh, yes! I find surviving an explosion every now and then to be ever so refreshing!—he instead chose to say as calmly and clearly as he could: "I am, thank you, your Highness, as are Rainbow Dash and Ms. Fluttershy. Dash should be released momentarily, but with Fluttershy still unconscious—"

A roar shook the room, and everything in it—ponies, sofas, potted palms, even the air itself—all flickered and froze, turning the bluish-black of deep winter ice. Something even blacker snapped toward him like a whip, wrapped itself tight around him, and became Discord, his mismatched eyes huge and burning directly in front of Blueblood, more teeth showing in his snout than should have been possible. "You!" Discord bellowed, his breath as foul as a field of rotten pumpkins. "This is all your fault, you and your thrice-becursed Clandestine Corps! So let it be on your head, Double-O-Zeta: if she dies, I will destroy this world and any other world I might happen to come across over the next few millennia!"

Shoving aside his first few outraged and cutting responses this time was much easier, and Blueblood forced his thoughts not to dwell on what a creature like Discord could do if he chose to. "She's alive," Blueblood decided to say, very glad that it was true. "Thanks to your quick actions dissipating the force of the explosion, as a matter of fact, you saved the lives of everypony at Ms. Fluttershy's house today."

One of those burning eyes twitched, and the constriction around Blueblood loosened. "Who?" Discord asked, his words buzzing like hornets. "Who did this?"

"We'll find out." A hunch nudged him, his compass rose cutie mark pointing him in a possible direction. "Would you be able to help, do you think? Do that snap-and-flash of yours and take me back to last night when our bomber would've been planting the device?"

Uncoiling completely from Blueblood, Discord slouched against the frozen form of Princess Sparkle. "It doesn't work like that, Zeta. What I do isn't magic, after all."

"Isn't...?" Words deserted him.

Discord's sour look got somehow even sourer. "I merely call it magic so as not to confuse your tiny pony minds. To get grotesquely technical, however, what you do when you get that thing going—" His eagle claw lashed out, and Blueblood felt it flick his horn, a sudden smell of cherry cider washing over him. "—is completely different from the effects I cause. My power comes from the dimensional vortices I create between the material and numenistic planes due to my being a physical manifestation of the more basal aspects to be found in the collective unconscious of all ponykind. Which means nothing to you, does it?"

Unable to keep the pique out of his voice, Blueblood let his mouth go sideways. "My tiny pony mind can't decide whether to answer 'yes' or 'no.'"

Something like Discord's usual sly grin crept in around the edges of his face. "Well, trust me on this: most of what I'm able to do is by definition the very opposite of helpful." He touched his lion paw to his chin. "Although I suppose I could crack open the skulls of every pony in town and rummage about in their brains till I found the responsible party." He cocked his head. "Would that help?"

Blueblood's lips had gone very dry. "Would it hurt the ponies you did it to?"

Discord blinked once. "What part of 'cracking open their skulls' did your tiny pony mind not understand?"

"Ah." Blueblood cleared his throat. "We'll call that 'Plan B,' then. First, though, let's see what Spitfire and the team from the Corps can find in and around Ms. Fluttershy's cottage. Dash and I will make a few inquiries as well, and I'll ask you to remain here and keep watch over Ms. Fluttershy."

"Watch her? Of course! But why?" Discord waved his arms, his lion paw and eagle claw popping off and spinning around several times before reattaching themselves. "Surely this is somepony striking at you and the Corps, Double-O-Zeta! Nopony could possibly want to blow up Fluttershy!"

Again, Blueblood weighed his response. Discord hadn't mentioned Chives, which made Blueblood wonder if Princess Luna perhaps hadn't seen fit to share certain information with certain individuals. And if Discord didn't know... "Consider," Blueblood said as calmly and—he hoped—as convincingly as he could. "Nopony knew about the party at Ms. Fluttershy's cottage until this morning, at which point the place immediately became a hive of activity. That's why I say the bomb must have been planted last night and why I further say that the bomber's target could not have been any of the ponies invited to Ms. Pie's impromptu get-together."

"You mean..." The frozen silence stretched for several seconds, Discord's ears folding completely out of sight. "It was likely meant for either Fluttershy or me."

"Exactly." Blueblood thought about reaching out to put a hoof on Discord's shoulder, but he wasn't certain it would still be a hoof when he pulled it back. "That you can take care of yourself, I'm entirely certain, but if the target was Ms. Fluttershy..." He let himself trail off.

That snaky grin slithered into place with full force. "Oh, you're good, Zeta; as a master manipulator myself, I must compliment you." Discord scraped a claw along Blueblood's chest, Blueblood trying not to wince as it gave off the sound of a hoof scratching a chalkboard. "You want me safely out of the way and occupied with some small but necessary task so I won't start cracking skulls without you."

"Well?" Blueblood shrugged. "My tiny pony mind should legitimately be concerned about you doing that, shouldn't it?"

"It should." A shudder ran through Discord's body like the wake of a stone tossed into a still pond. "I hate this, did you know that?" His voice, quiet and with almost no sneering in it, took Blueblood by surprise. "Hate every foul minute of it."

And while his head told him that Discord could mean any number of things by that, Blueblood's cutie mark told him precisely what the creature meant. "Yes." Blueblood's mind flashed back to that instant in Fluttershy's kitchen after Dash's shout, his reactions kicking in, flaring the shield spell from his horn with all the strength he could muster, unsure if he could reach Dash in time... "Caring for other ponies is the most wonderfully horrible thing in the world."

Discord nodded, those yellow and red eyes focused on nothing that Blueblood could see. "I'm smaller, but larger. Wide open, yet clenched tight. Constricted in my every movement, and still somehow freer than I've ever been." His snaggle tooth emerged as his lips pulled back into something that might have been a smile. "Ah, the magic of friendship."

The sentiment struck a great deal closer to home than Blueblood would've liked, but he was saved the effort of trying to mask his reaction by Discord shouting, "It's you ponies!" His upper body swirling like water in an unstoppered sink, Discord bent around and tapped a claw on Princess Sparkle's solid blue chin. "You're just so confounding! I mean, mere nanoseconds have passed in the world outside, but I can already feel magic licking at the walls of this bubble I've thrown up around us, our stalwart Twilight no doubt trying to drain it away! Another twenty or thirty interior minutes, and she might actually break through! It's astonishing! And you!" He spun back to face Blueblood. "It was your shield that did all the work earlier, you know. I merely grabbed it and blew it up like a balloon to push the explosion away."

Blueblood rubbed his forehead. "I don't suppose you can do the same with the headache?"

With a laugh, Discord spread his arms. "I only cause headaches, remember? Still—" He snapped to his full height, stomped his goat leg, and saluted with his lion paw. "Reporting for Fluttershy guarding duty, sir!" The blues and blacks vanished with a whoosh, Discord whisking away with them, and Blueblood found himself staring at the blinking princess.

"Did you...hear something?" she asked, her brow wrinkling.

"It was Discord." Blueblood managed to keep the quiver out of his voice, the hot and cold sweat under his mane making him feel like he'd just faced down another bomb. "He'll be watching over Ms. Fluttershy till she wakes." He nodded to the crowd. "Perhaps you could reassure our fellows that all will be well and send them home to their suppers?"

"Discord?" Princess Sparkle's ears fell. "His magic's just so confusing, I'm still never sure what's what with him!" She shook her head, and Blueblood could very nearly smell the effort behind her perky little smile. "But yes, we should probably see about updating these folks."

She turned to face the room, but before she could speak, Blueblood felt a wonderfully familiar warmth slide along his side, Dash's scent washing through the antiseptic dryness of the place. Turning his head, he found half the aches in his body simply evaporating at that touch, her glorious rainbow mane right where he could rub his cheek against it. He heard the puff of her breath, and when she leaned against him, an absolutely irrational surge of optimism swept through him. When he'd first seen her stretched out on a table and grimacing as a doctor finished bandaging the worst of her cuts, he'd felt relief. But this now, this was something ten or twenty times stronger.

"Hey, Twi," Dash called from beside him, her voice perhaps a bit rougher than usual. "Shy's awake. Discord's in there, but Doc says maybe a couple or four of you can pop in, too, if you make it quick."

A quiet cheer wafted from the crowd, tired smiles appearing, ears perking up. Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie stepped out from among the gathered ponies to join Princess Sparkle, and at Dash's nod, they hurried past her into the depths of the hospital. Everypony else in the lobby started drifting away with many a grin and wave to Dash, and before long, Dash and Blueblood stood alone in the waiting room. "Well," Blueblood said, allowing what still felt like his natural self to rise a bit closer to the surface. "Finally ready to get a bit of work done?"

Her scratchy little laugh was the sweetest thing he'd heard in days. "Way ahead of you. Fluttershy didn't remember hearing a thing in her kitchen last night, so Chives must've planted the bomb this morning when he was there helping Pinkie get things set up." She pushed away, turned to face him, and he couldn't help wincing at the bruises along her legs, the bandage around her left knee wrapping what the doctor called a slight sprain.

"I disagree." Refusing to think about how much worse this whole thing could've turned out, Blueblood forced himself to focus on the matter at hoof. "Chives could very well have planted the device last night: he always was so confoundedly quiet, creeping about his duties. Still, we do have two slightly more urgent questions." He fixed his gaze on the deep violet of her eyes. "Did Ms. Pie know he wasn't actually her cousin Burl? And does she know where he is now?"

Dash's tail lashed. "She didn't know who he was: she couldn't've. Where he is, though..." She sighed, unfurled her wings, and drifted over to one of the now-abandoned couches. "Might be we wanna ask her that when she comes back out."

Blueblood nodded, stepped across the carpet, and climbed up onto the sofa next to her. She slid over to press against him again, and this time, he could feel her shivering. "Darling?" he asked, trying to keep the concern out of his voice. "Do you need a spot of coffee or some such?"

"No, I—" She sighed, and when she nestled her head onto his shoulder, Blueblood froze, not sure she'd ever done that before. "It's not s'pposed to happen here, Beebee," she said, her voice as pale as winter sunlight. "The bad guys're s'pposed to be out there." She waved a hoof. "Not...not here..."

Unsure what to say or do, Blueblood moved his chin to touch her ear, large parts of his brain spinning in utter confusion—Rainbow Dash?! Showing actual vulnerability?! How could this be possible?!—while the rest of him began to settle into a state of complete and total relaxation. That she seemed to be taking comfort from him for a change felt— It was like...like—

It was like nothing he'd ever experienced.

They sat tucked that way for a wonderfully timeless time before the rustle of voices made him look over at the emergency room doors, Princess Sparkle and her party emerging. "It ain't right!" Applejack was saying, her tone to Blueblood's ears even grouchier than usual. "And I say we do something about it!"

Rarity was nodding. "As a group of concerned local citizens—who have, incidentally, saved the world a number of times—I'd say we have every right to investigate this matter if nopony else is going to!"

Princess Sparkle was looking around the room, and when her gaze met Blueblood's, he could see relief flood her face. "Actually, girls," she said, turning back to the other two. "I can't really say too much, but I've spoken with several agents of Their Highnesses' Clandestine Corps about this. And they're already investigating."

The trio stopped beside the sofa, Applejack blinking. "Clandestine Corps?" she asked. "Y'mean...they're real?"

"Gracious!" Rarity's eyes had gone quite wide. "I rather thought they only existed in adventure novels!"

"Nope." Princess Sparkle gave a crisp nod. "And they're on the case even as we speak."

The others looked impressed, and Blueblood did his best not to roll his eyes. "Well!" he said, pouring the Canterlot accent into his voice as thick as maple syrup. "I know I shall certainly sleep better knowing—"

"Hey." Dash pulled away from him and sat up straighter. "Where's Pinkie?"

With a little laugh, Princess Sparkle gestured toward the emergency room doors. "Oh, she gave Fluttershy a hug, said she had to get back to the bakery, and jumped out the window." Smiling, she looked back, and a chill shivered through Blueblood. "I don't know what that pony's thinking sometimes!"

***

Racing through the dusk-lit streets, Pinkie tried to stop her brain from thinking anything except, It isn't true, it isn't true, it isn't true, it isn't true! Because if she let herself think anything else, she knew, nothing would ever be right again ever in the whole wide world, and she would have to keep running like this, never stop, never rest, never have another second of fun. Ever.

She skidded around the corner, charged toward Sugar Cube Corner, sprang up the back steps, and slid into the kitchen, the warm, wonderful scents wanting her to think maybe everything would be OK, maybe he hadn't disappeared forever the way she'd thought when she'd seen him running away after the explosion, with the screaming and the ambulances and the hazy, dazy walk to the hospital and the—

But she wasn't gonna think about that. Especially since—

Chives in his Cousin Burl outfit blinked at her from in front of the big oven, his mouth full of a padded mitt holding a tray of perfectly browned dinner rolls. "Cousin Diane!" he exclaimed, the words completely clear and understandable. He turned, set the tray on the counter, and took a step toward her. "I'm sorry to have left you, but I was uninjured, and knowing that the Cakes would need help with the dinner rush, I—"

She tackled him, shoved him ahead of her up the back stairs and through the open door of her room, kicking it shut once they were inside. "Tell me." And her voice was so low and growly, she almost thought it must be somepony else's: not even Diane at her most Dianeiest had ever sounded like this. "Tell me it isn't true."

"It isn't true," he said.

For one teeny, tiny moment, Pinkie thought that would be enough. But no matter how much she looked at him standing in front of her candy-cane striped dresser, no matter how much she'd enjoyed getting to know him this past week, and no matter how big and wide and pretty his dark eyes were—she just wanted to fall right into them like into two vats of sweet, creamy chocolate—she still couldn't quite stop the thoughts.... "OK. Now tell me what isn't true." Maybe that would work.

He gave a nod. "I didn't have anything to do with the bomb at Ms. Fluttershy's house."

Again, her mane almost puffed up with joy, but— "Wait." She sat down, her voice almost back to her regular Diane voice. "If you say it isn't true that you didn't have anything to do with it, doesn't that mean it is true that you did?"

Jumping across the room, he took her front hoofs in his. "Please, Diane! You must believe me! I had nothing to do with that device! I would never do anything to betray your trust, and I would certainly never do anything that might lead to innocent ponies being injured!"

His touch made her want to ignore all her horrible little doubts, but she had to be sure. "Promise me."

"I promise."

"Pinkie promise."

That made him blink, but he quietly and carefully went through each and every one of the steps when she told him how to do it. Her heart pounding harder and harder, when he finally stuck the cupcake in his eye, she had to throw her absolutely biggest hug around him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" And, well, she had to kiss him after that, didn't she? Just to make sure he knew everything was OK again.

And it was OK. Fluttershy was OK, Dashie was OK, Discord was OK, even Blueblood was OK: Pinkie had seen all of them for herself either outside Fluttershy's house or at the hospital. And finding out that Chives was OK, too, that he wasn't hurt and that he hadn't planted the bomb, Pinkie just plain didn't want to stop kissing him, giggling with him and trading the moustache back and forth. Closing her eyes, losing herself in the sensation of his cheek rubbing gently along the side of her neck—

But then a knock sounded at the door, Mrs. Cake's broad accent asking from outside, "Pinkie? Are you here? Rainbow Dash and Prince Blueblood are downstairs asking for you."

Leaping away from Chives like she'd bitten down on a raisin in what was supposed to be a chocolate-chip cookie, Pinkie gave off an "eep!" that would've done Fluttershy proud.

"Pinkie?" Mrs. Cake asked again. "Was that you? Should I tell your friends they can come up?"

"No!" She shot a glance at Chives, then gestured toward the window. "I'll be right there, Mrs. Cake!"

Chives was shaking his head, but for once in her life, her Pinkie sense didn't give her a single clue what he meant. She wanted to grab him, push him out the window like she had that first night—or at least tell him that he had to get out of there before anypony caught him. But she didn't have the time or the privacy, not with Mrs. Cake right outside and Dashie downstairs and Prince Blueblood really being a secret agent and also Chives's old boss—

She gestured more frantically toward the window, then turned and sprang to the door, pulling it open just enough so she could squeeze out into the hallway. "Hi, Mrs. Cake!" That she could manage something at all close to her regular Pinkie voice told her that her mane was at least a little bit poofy, and she forced a big, toothy smile after grabbing the knob to pull the door shut behind her. "Sorry I couldn't be here to help with the dinner rush, but I hadta wait for Fluttershy to wake up."

"Not to worry, dear." Mrs. Cake reached out to pat Pinkie's knee, the cinnamon-and-spice scent that filled the air around her relaxing Pinkie the way it always did. Until she said: "Burl was here to help out, so we did fine. He's a treasure, that one. D'you know where he's got off to?"

The question swarmed around Pinkie like ants around spilled orange juice. "He was downstairs when I came in," she managed to say.

"Maybe he went for a bit of a walk." Mrs. Cake nodded, then cocked her head. "You're looking a little flushed, there, Pinkie. You OK after all the kerfuffle?"

Rarity had once told Pinkie how lucky she was to have such a rosy complexion: Nopony can tell when you're blushing! she'd said with that wonderful, wrinkle-nosed grin of hers. Still, Pinkie had found over the years that Mrs. Cake was as much as exception to that rule as she was to most other rules. "I'm OK, Mrs. C. And Fluttershy's OK and Dashie's OK and ev'rypony's OK! So I'd sure call that OK! I'd call it even better'n OK!" She practically threw herself down the stairs. "But I shouldn't keep Dashie and Bluey waiting! I'll see you later, OK?!"

Tumbling into the dining room, though, and seeing Dashie with her bandages and Blueblood squinting like it was too bright even though Mr. Cake had turned the lights down to their dinner time coziness, Pinkie started thinking that maybe she should've stayed and taken her chances with Mrs. Cake.

"Hey, Pinks," Dashie said, and while her smile was real, it was stretched pretty tight across her snout. "Me and Beebee, we're just, y'know, making the rounds, checking up on everypony after the, uhh..." Her smile crumpled into a grimace, and she shrugged. "All the wild stuff today," she finished.

Pinkie put on her happiest happy face. "Well, I'm OK!" she said, and it was kind of a little bit true. "And you two are OK and Fluttershy's OK and Fluttershy's house is even OK—I mean, it maybe got a little burned up in a couple places—but ev'rything and ev'rypony's A-OK!"

Blueblood shifted, his already narrow eyes getting even narrower. "And your cousin Burl?" he asked, his voice just as squinty as his eyes. "I assume he and the other ponies who were in the kitchen with the three of us when the device went off are OK?"

The sudden quiet in the room, Pinkie thought, was the same sort as a glass makes right in the second before it hits a tile floor. "They all looked OK when we were standing around outside not panicking." Except for Chives, she didn't say. But Blueblood didn't know about Chives—please, please, please he didn't know!—and anyway, Chives had promised her—had Pinkie promised her!—that he hadn't had anything to do with the bomb.

When Prince Blueblood shifted this time, he seemed to get bigger and closer to her even though he didn't move from his seat. "You know, I don't recall seeing your cousin Burl when we were evacuating. Are you certain he's OK?"

"Well, yeah! Of course!" She should be hopping around more, Pinkie thought to herself, should be laughing and dancing and juggling muffins. But she could barely get her jaw to move. "Why wouldn't he be?"

"I can think of several reasons." Sharp and sour things dripped from the prince's voice even though Pinkie wasn't quite sure how sounds could drip, and when he stood and marched past her like a soldier pony, Pinkie forced her gaze to follow in case he started for the stairs and she had to jump on him. But he stopped at the front display counter instead. "These cupcakes with the lemon. Are they items your cousin Burl baked?"

Blinking, Pinkie nodded.

His horn sputtering, Prince Blueblood winced and stepped behind the counter, the glass door in back sliding open. He bent down, took a big sniff, and Pinkie could see the shudder that wiggled down his back. "Perfect and unmistakable," he more whispered than said; straightening, he turned an even-harder glare at Pinkie. "Would it surprise you, Ms. Pie, to learn that your cousin Burl is actually my former valet Chives?"

Which made everything shatter into a million, billion pieces. "He calls me Cousin Diane!" Pinkie wanted with all her might not to say anything, but she had to keep Dashie and Bluey's attention here, had to give Chives a chance to get as far away as he could. "And nopony ever calls me Cousin Diane except for Cousin Burl! And he's smart and funny and happy and nice! And when he takes me to dinner early so we can get back here to help ev'rypony else get their dinners, he talks to me and looks at me and listens to me! And when we go walking in the evening after we've finished doing the dishes, it's like walking with a pony-shaped bundle of springtime air and summertime sunshine! And he's such a good baker even though I don't think Cousin Burl ever learned how to cook!" Her face was wet, Pinkie realized, and Dashie was sitting right next to her, one front leg around Pinkie's shoulders. "He's really nice, Dashie," she told her friend.

Dashie's face looked a little wet, too. "Where is he, Pinkie?"

"He's got a room at the Livery House." Pinkie waved a hoof toward the train station and hoped Chives had run in the other direction. "But he's my cousin Burl, Dashie. He said he was! He hasta be...."

"Inexcusable!" The way Prince Blueblood spat the word made Pinkie sure he'd found raisins instead of chocolate-chips in his cookies before, too. "That the scoundrel would dare to practice upon Ms. Pie's credulous simplicity!" He moved back from around the counter as big and golden-white as a cloud at sunrise, his sternness somehow friendly. "Fear not, Ms. Pie. He shan't get away with this."

Which made Pinkie stare. He was mad the way he always pretended not to be, sure, but Pinkie could tell that he was mad not because he thought Chives had tricked him, but because he thought Chives had tricked her...

Dashie gave her another squeeze around the shoulders. "It's gonna be OK, Pinkie." And Dashie looked so much like a super secret agent right then, all calm and concerned and ready to track down the bad guy that Pinkie felt her mane puff up despite everything. "But if you see him anywhere or if he stops by or anything, you'll let me know, right?"

"I will." She felt her mane collapse, draping over her shoulders as cold and smooth as a snowdrift. "I...I'm sorry, Dashie."

"Get some rest, Pinks." Dashie stood. "We'll be by tomorrow at lunchtime to see how you're doing." She nodded to Prince Blueblood, and the two of them left.

Feeling like she was under water—no, feeling like she was under salt-water taffy—Pinkie slewed herself around, plodded across the empty dining room, and crept up the stairs, pushing her tired head against her door so she could ooze inside. At least Chives was safe. Of course, that meant he was gone, too, and that she probably wouldn't ever see him again, wouldn't ever hear that sweet, soft voice of his calling her—

"Cousin Diane?"

Fire and ice shot through Pinkie, snapped her head up and frizzed her mane and tail. Because Chives was still sitting right where she'd left him, still in his Cousin Burl disguise and still looking better than a triple-decker custard cheesecake.

She crossed the room without touching anything till she collided with him; then she touched him a lot with her front legs and her lips, and then she touched him maybe kind of hard across the muzzle with a swipe of her right hoof. "What're you still doing here?!" she squeaked. "They know that you're you! I mean, that you're not Cousin Burl! I mean, you are Cousin Burl 'cause there wasn't any Cousin Burl before you came along, but they know that you're both of you at the same time! You've gotta go!"

Chives was shaking his head. "That would be irresponsible, Diane, when there's a pony in this town looking to strike at His Highness, most especially since that pony appears to be as dangerous as Green Briar at his maddest. We must therefore settle accounts with His Highness once and for all before this mad pony can cause some actual injury." His front hoofs slid under the flow of Pinkie's mane to rest firmly but gently on her shoulders. "You must go to Prince Blueblood tomorrow morning at seven, and you must tell him that I am waiting for him at the Castle of the Pony Sisters in the Everfree Forest. Tell him he must come alone and that we will then decide things between us. Can you do that, my love?"

Pinkie felt like she'd turned into a statue in Canterlot Gardens. "Your love?" she whispered.

"Can you tell him?"

Somehow, she got her head to nod.

"Thank you." He shifted against her, touched his lips to her forehead, and slid from her embrace. "If I possibly can return to you, Diane, I will. But if I cannot, I hope you'll think fondly of me now and then."

His shadow in the evening darkness rustled at the curtains, and Pinkie wanted to call after him: No! It's OK! You don't hafta! Prince Blueblood's a good pony now! He is!

But by then the curtains were settling, and Chives was gone.

***

Pacing among the collapsed stones of the ancient castle, Chives kept trying and trying not to draw the obvious connection between his surroundings and the mess his life had become. After all, it wasn't as if this past week in Ponyville had revealed everything he'd ever done to be either a lie or a mistake. Yes, all his long-formed conclusions about His Highness seemed to have been in error, but—

No! He stomped a hoof. He couldn't be wrong about Prince Blueblood! Hadn't his cutie mark come to him due to the skills he'd developed during the seven years he'd spent secretly trying to help His Highness and the three years he'd spent in his service after that trying to destroy him? And he'd been right about all the other ponies he'd helped, all the ponies he'd quietly and unobtrusively guided back to the path of proper behavior!

So it was simply not possible that His Highness could somehow have changed in the nine months since Chives's final scheme had collapsed under the weight of Green Briar's madness! Chives couldn't deny that Ms. Dash was indeed a formidable personality, but how could she have succeeded where Chives had failed? Reforming ponies was what he did!

Except in the cases of Prince Blueblood and Green Briar, of course...

Stomping again, he turned and started back along his circuit, the harness around his chest and shoulders heavy and rattling. It had taken him less time than he'd expected last night to gather the parts—Ponyville was a more cosmopolitan town than he'd expected—and he'd arrived at the ruins just after sunrise with plenty of time to get the rest of his preparations in place. All he had to do now was wait for Diane to get his message to His Highness.

Ah, Diane. Sweet, lovely Diane. Chives had to stop and shiver. Never before had he met a pony so layered, so complex, a veritable sundae of personalities and charms: all sweet syrups, whipped toppings and nuts covering a succulent mixture of ice creams, cakes and fruits. Each time Chives had felt himself folding in despair at the sight of His Highness not lashing insults against all those around him, Diane had been there to hold his hoof, to tell him he was right, to agree with him that Prince Blueblood had to be faking it. And when she would express her doubts as they sat huddled together on the floor of her room, he would reassure her that they need only watch His Highness more closely to catch him.

If only— But no. Sighing, Chives began plodding again, stepped into the vast and empty throne room of the former palace. He refused to think about all the 'if only's anymore: if only he'd met Diane two years ago; if only His Highness had met Rainbow Dash two years ago; if only the explosion at Ms. Fluttershy's had actually—

No! He wasn't thinking about any of that! This morning, right now, right here, this was where his focus needed to lie!

He couldn't help laughing. Lie. Yes. That was the word exactly. Considering that the only pony Chives had ever been able to lie to was—

"Well, well, well." The sneering voice behind him slapped his ears like a mosquito's buzz, but his heart leaped as if reacting to a long-absent caress. "I've finally met a criminal stupid enough to return to the scene of his crime."

"I'd recommend remaining where you are, sir." Chives turned so His Highness's gaze could fall fully upon the harness, magic crackling in red and orange bolts across the front.

Prince Blueblood rolled his eyes; the dim morning light filtering down through the trees of the Everfree Forest washed in around His Highness, his over-sized self seeming to fill the throne room's exterior doorway. "More explosives, Chives? How unimaginative."

A strange sort of calm settled over Chives at those disdainful tones. So much in his life had been out of balance these past nine months, but now, now everything was going to be right again. "I learned my lesson from the first bomb, sir," he told his former employer.

That got a bark of laughter. "Forgive me if I'm unimpressed." His Highness's horn glowed, it's golden light spreading to surround him like a second skin. "Still, feel free to blow yourself up. I shall be safely within my shield as I was at Ms. Fluttershy's home." He almost strutted into the room. "You showed such promise earlier this week, Chives, wandering about town under my very nose and even breaking into my house sometime last night to steal my shadow cloak. But now it's time for me to crush you like the miserable insect you are."

Chives held up a hoof. "The bombs this time, sir, are hidden in and around Ponyville." He brushed his left hoof along the front of the harness. "My vest merely contains the triggers, triggers that will respond either to my touch or to the touch of your magic anywhere in my general vicinity. Understand, therefore, that I shall utilize the first of those triggers, Your Highness, to destroy Princess Sparkle's library tree should you take so much as one more step forward."

The effect this statement had on His Highness both gratified Chives and startled him. For Prince Blueblood froze in place a few paces from the doorway, his ears folding and his eyes darting in the direction of town. "You're bluffing," he said, his muscles tensing but his legs not moving.

"You may certainly take that chance if you'd like, sir." Chives kept his hoof pressed to the vest. "I will, however, remind you of my first device yesterday should you wish to consider how serious I might be." He wanted to start shaking, wanted to start screaming, wanted desperately for His Highness to— "Step forward," he heard a choked voice saying, the words echoing so strangely around the shadowed walls, Chives would never had know they were coming from his mouth if he hadn't felt his lips moving. "By all that's good and true in Equestria, prove me right and step forward!"

The shock that rattled across Prince Blueblood's face felt like a kick to Chives's gut, but His Highness's expression quickly tightened into anger. "You foul and loathsome little—" The prince's jaw worked, but other than that, he continued not to move. "I suppose that's what you've been up to in town all week, isn't it? Using that poor baker as cover while you traipsed about placing your explosives!"

It was all going horribly, horribly awry. Chives had planned for this eventuality, of course, and while he couldn't deny that seeing His Highness quivering with impotent rage set his blood fizzing like the chocolate soda he and Diane had shared two nights ago, he'd truly never thought it would play out like this. "How well you know me, sir," he said, and with his left hoof still in place, he dug his right hoof under his vest for one of the items he'd spent most of the early morning hours in search of, unearthing the stash of magical objects he'd watched Green Briar hide in this very room nine months ago. Finding the one he wanted, he held it up: a stone the size and shape of a grape.

Keeping his hoof steady by sheer force of will, he tossed the semi-spherical pebble at the prince; it clattered and rolled, wobbled across the cracked and weathered marble floor, and when it struck the wavering light of His Highness's shield, it burst with a tiny pop like the smallest of gray balloons. It didn't deflate, though, but flared out, sucked up the prince's magic, twisted and grew and became some sort of stone rope, its ends flailing to bind His Highness's front legs together while wrapping itself like chains around his midsection.

Whether it was the weight or the sudden shift in balance that forced Prince Blueblood to his knees, Chives didn't care. Simply seeing His Highness subject himself to this humiliation made Chives tremble where he stood. It couldn't be true! It couldn't!

His Highness snapped his head up, his eyes blazing. "If it's me you want, Chives, then you have me! Now deactivate that foul device, for you'll see no mercy whatsoever should any more ponies in that town come to harm due to your actions!"

"My actions?!" Chives lunged forward, his mane feeling like needles jabbing into his neck. "I've done nothing compared to you!"

"Nothing?!" Prince Blueblood flailed against the restraints. "Breaking out of prison! Planting explosives! Misleading ponies! Breaking a filly's heart!"

"Don't you dare!" Chives roared, rearing back to stomp his hoofs into that bloated and leering face—

But something struck him hard in the side, knocked him sprawling over His Highness; scrambling, he tried to stand, tried to see who had attacked him, but only dim light filled the throne room, his frantic gaze darting around to see nothing anywhere near him but the bound prince.

Somepony was grabbing him, though, rough hoofs rifling his pockets. One of Green Briar's small stone spheres floated out, then dropped, striking him, bursting into stony coils, wrapping him securely. "What—?" he cried out.

But a voice as tight as clenched teeth rose up from the emptiness. "Worse than breaking a heart, Prince Blueblood?" The air flickered, wavering like a tablecloth on a clothesline, and Chives stared to see Diane appear, shadows shimmering around her back, her eyes more wrathful than His Highness's could ever be. "He broke a Pinkie promise," she growled.

***

Spinning out of the roll after exactly three seconds just the way Dell had told her, Dash tucked her front legs to her chest and stretched her hind legs out, streamlining her profile like he'd said—

And slammed straight into the upper canopy of an elm tree, the branches whipping her hard, each leaf like a mouthful of tiny teeth. She cried out, her wings flailing, and while her speed more or less blasted her through that elm, the next one, an instant's panicked glance told her, was even bigger and thicker. Without a hope of maneuvering, she did what she could to curl into a ball and brace herself, her momentum plunging her in.

Eight trees, maybe nine—she kind of lost track somewhere in the middle—but she somehow managed not to run into a trunk, and the various tangles of twigs with all their smackings and slappings slowed her down enough so that when she finally slammed into the side of the hill, the crater she made wasn't nearly as deep as some she'd made in the past.

Still, she decided to lay there for a minute and take stock. Not her worst crash—no bones seemed to be broken, at least—but knowing what was coming next made her tense up like she'd snapped her every metacarpal.

"Pitiful," came that rumbling drawl of a voice, and opening her eyes, Dash saw Bosky Dell above her, his front hoofs in the pockets of his windbreaker, his wings flapping just enough to keep him airborne, his hat pulled down so the brim covered most of his face. "You're just wasting my time now."

"Hey!" Pushing herself up, she leaped toward him, the adrenaline crackling in her blood more than enough to let her ignore the complaints she imagined she could hear from her assorted body parts: First that explosion, and now this?! Hovering in front of him, she half-expected her heart to be clattering against her ribs like Pinkie playing the xylophone. "I did exactly what you told me to do! Exactly!"

"Uh-huh." Hoofs still in his pockets, he shrugged, his voice weirdly calm compared to all the shouting he'd been doing the past week. "I told you to crash, did I?"

"Yeah, you did!" She jabbed a hoof into his chest. "Three hundred feet, I said! But no! Two hundred, you said!"

"A good flyer coulda done it."

And that, Rainbow Dash decided, was enough of that. "Are you blind or just stupid?! Even at three hundred feet, there's maybe five ponies in all Equestria who coulda made that move! At two hundred? Not one! Not ever!"

His head tilted back, and with her ears still ringing and the rest of her still wobbly, Dash thought for a second that Dell's eyes had a glow to them. "So you're saying you wanna be coddled, huh? You don't wanna work for a living?"

"Work?!" She waved her hoofs. "See that sky up there, buddy?! I'm using my vacation time from working that sky so I can be here with you training! But if all you've got to show me is that you've lost your mind, then—!"

"Fine." The word came out as quietly as everything else he'd been saying, but it still had a weight that Dash could feel, a force that made her mane rustle like a thunderstorm was coming. "You can just go crawling back to Spitfire and your prince and the whole Clandestine Corps of 'em. 'Cause I'm done with you. I'm done with all of you." A little flex of his wings, and he shot into the mid-morning blue.

Dash wanted to race after him yelling. Everything that had happened yesterday was bad enough what with the big zero she and Beebee had drawn trying to track down Chives. But when they'd finally given up for the evening and swung by Fluttershy's to see what Spitfire and the team from the Corps had found, nopony there had even seen Spitfire! She hadn't shown up at Beebee's later like she'd promised, either, and she hadn't been here this morning to watch Dash's training like she'd been doing all week! Add to that the note Dash had found on Beebee's desk when she'd stopped by before meeting Bosky Dell—Pursuing possible lead. We'll still meet for lunch at Sugar Cube Corner—and the absolute last thing Dash needed was that grouch being such an absolute—!

Wait.

Watching the dark blue spot of his windbreaker getting smaller and smaller in the distance, Dash found herself remembering something Spitfire had said way back at the beginning of the week, something about Dell not knowing anything about the Clandestine Corps. But hadn't he just said—?

She narrowed her eyes, her suspicions too wispy even to be called a cloud. But she took off following him anyway.

He didn't seem to be in any hurry at least, so Dash stayed low, below the treetops, swooping and swerving, peering up whenever she found a gap in the canopy to make sure he was still heading in the same direction. Away from town, she realized quickly. Away from everything, actually: there wasn't anything but woods out this way.

Well, except for Ghastly Gorge.

But she shook that thought from her head. Nopony'd be stupid enough to go there. Other than Dash herself, of course, but that was just for very specialized training. Not for sightseeing or whatever.

Still, with the week she'd been having...

Sure enough, Dell started descending about ten minutes later, and when Dash shot forward, weaving between the trunks to reach the shadow of the last line of trees, she was just in time to see him wing down into the rocky gash of the gorge itself. Dash knew the Quarray Eels didn't live down at this end—this was closer to where Tank had saved her from the rock slide way back when—but still, watching the older pegasus flap into one of the many caves along the jagged walls gave her a chill. What in the wide, wide world of Equestria was he doing out here?

Not happy with any of the possible answers, Dash kept her eyes on the cave. Counting silently to sixty—her least favorite of Beebee's tips when following somepony—she took a breath, whisked herself over the edge, across the brittlely dry air, and landed just inside the opening.

All she could smell was dusty rocks, so she didn't sniff too deeply: wouldn't want to start sneezing right here and now. Waiting another minute till her eyes got used to the darkness, she crept forward along the twisty little path, hardly more than a crack, really, leading deeper into the cliff face. Her perked ears heard nothing, but her wings, spread so the very tips of her feathers just brushed the walls, felt stirrings in the air, probably from the passage opening into an actual cave, she guessed. She could still see faintly, too, a gray light making shadows stand out ahead, and inching around a corner, she found herself peering into what had to be some sort of a workshop.

A lantern full of lightning bugs hung from the ceiling, and below it on various rocky shelves and outcroppings sat bottles and jars, coils of string and rope and wire, assorted magical gewgaws glowing faintly or sparking fitfully, and—

Dash's heart flopped over sideways. Spitfire lay on the floor with a gag in her mouth, her eyes wide and staring at Dash, something the size and shape of a hoofball strapped to her chest.

Even in the dim light, she could see it was a bomb. Just exactly like the one she'd found in Fluttershy's kitchen cupboard, too.

Spitfire's eyes went even wider, and pain blossomed hard against the back of Dash's head; she tried to roll with it, but the stones seemed to dance under her hoofs, pitching her forward into the cave. Two sounds: a muffled groan from one direction and an all-too-familiar popping of lips from the other. The air swirled around her, scooped her up, spun her in its embrace, and slapped her down onto her back against the stone, a tightness around her middle and a weight on her chest. Blinking to clear the sparkly things from the corners of her vision, she froze to see another bomb, black and bulky, sitting on top of her. A thin glowing thread stretched from the trigger thing off to Dash's left, and turning her head showed her Spitfire beside her with her eyes now clenched, the thread attached to the trigger on her bomb.

"Well, now," came a voice from her right, and swiveling her head, she saw Bosky Dell standing there, his face split by the biggest grin Dash had ever seen on a pony. He didn't have his hat on for the first time since Dash had met him, but something was still sitting on his head: something that looked like a tiny harness cinched around behind his ears. Jutting up from the strap of the harness that crossed his forehead stood what looked like a stubby little unicorn horn, and Dash had to stare at the white fire that crackled up and down the thing. "Don't the two of you just make the prettiest little picture?" he asked.

Comments

[AugieDog]

So:

Two cliffhangers for the price of one!

Two weeks from now, though, oughtta see Act IV, "The Pie Who Loved Me," up here on the site. November 1st, that'll be--unless I'm early again...

Mike

[Blue_Paladin42]

Oh hai there.
Green Briar? Is that you?

Oh Chives. You done GOOFED.

[The Letter J]

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNN!

I thought that Bosky Dell was more than a little bit suspicious. I don't know what I was expecting, but I don't think this was it.

It is becoming harder and harder to keep track of who's good and who's bad around here. At this rate, Chrysalis will show up in the next chapter and tell us that she's actually an undercover Corps agent and the whole "Canterlot Invasion" thing was just a cover for a huge raid on a secret terrorist organization.

[AugieDog]

3365944

Dell is many things:

But Green Briar, alas, isn't one of them. Chives, however, yes, he does seem to have made a slight error in judgment.

3367679

It is becoming harder and harder to keep track of who's good and who's bad around here.

I will admit to giving the slightest little upon reading this comment. 'Cause if there's one thing that I hope this story's about...

Mike

[Soge]

I though the story started off a little slow, but things surely picked up. Can't wait to see how you unravel everything you set up so far.

[The Letter J]

3368504
You know, that might be part of the reason why I enjoy this story so much. I've always found stories that kinda blur the line between good and evil to be interesting. Like Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog or Goblins, for example.

[AugieDog]

3369051

One of my:

Absolute favorite ways of structuring a story involves spending the first half figuratively standing a trail of dominoes up on their ends, then flicking the first one over and spending the rest of the story following the carnage as the whole pattern tumbles headlong into some new shape.

3369119

That's the main thing that attracted me to FiM back during the first season, actually. Any one of the "mane six" can be the protagonist one week, then the antagonist the next, all while staying in character and staying friends.

Mike

[Nealend86]

I am so glad that you didn't turn this into a story about Pinkie turning evil and insane. I like how even though she's having some issues, she's still her and only wants to look out for her friends.

[AugieDog]

3369734

It's the strengths and weaknesses:

Of these six particular characters that drew me into this world of Ponies. So the challenge I always set for myself is to tell stories about those characters as they've been presented to us. Evil and insane is what OCs are for!

Mike

[Skywriter]

I'm as or more guilty than the next man of robbing the word "awesome" of its original meaning, so I'm partially to blame for the fact that this comment isn't more concise; I hope you will understand what I say when I say that seeing Discord get all wrathful is literally an awesome moment.

[AugieDog]

3380684

Thanks muchly!

It's a scene I've had in my head since I started plotting this thing however many months ago, what with these two characters having more in common than either of them really wants to admit and all...

Mike

[djthomp]

Gotta echo Skywriter about Discord, that was fantastic.

And Chives, oh Chives you have done it now.

[AugieDog]

3384346

Thanks again:

We've got more Discord coming up in Act IV, and in fact, when it came to choosing the little character pictures for the story here, while four of the places had to be reserved for Dash, Blueblood, Pinkie and OC for Chives, I went back and forth as to whether the fifth slot should go to Spitfire or Discord. Because while Spitfire may have more scenes, Discord is--

But that would be telling. You'll see in 10 days or so if all goes well!

Mike

[Capn_Chryssalid]

Not true, eh?
For a second, my mind entertained the notion that Chives' inability to resolve the mental and emotional conflict of the last two chapters caused a complete psychotic break into two personalities... hmm, no, probably too crazy. The pink one must be rubbing off on me.

Oop. and it looks like Pinkie finally broke. I had to re-read that part twice, not out of confusion, but just for Pinkie's colorful and unique descriptions of her 'cousin.' To light-heartedly silly, but with those intended serious undertones. And yet, even in that, Pinkie remains lucid enough to waylay our investigators. Oh ho!

Briar's still got some nice toys secreted away, I see.

And the curious ability of MLP hats to hide anything on a pony's head once again leads to woe and ruin! When will milliners learn? When? Is the fashion really worth the danger?
Well, regardless, we have our tie in...

[AugieDog]

3463569

Hats:

Threat or menace? That's prob'bly why none of the Applejack toys include her hat--Hasbro's afraid of liability issues...

Mike

[Carnation83]

I love the interaction with Discord and Blueblood.

And I'll say this now before I get too caught up in the next chapter, I LOVE how complex you write Chives. Not just a two bit henchmen that are a dime a dozen, but a real character all on his own. And I love the hint that maybe his special talent will stabilize Pinkie Pie and make her a more rounded pony.

[Emperor]

Poor, poor Chives, you had the first part of your promise in the right, but then you had to go and break the second part about injuring innocent ponies. Diane is the Goddess of the Hunt, and you aren't safe from her once you broke your Pinkie Promise.

The revelation of Bosky Dell was great. As soon as he mentioned the Clandestine Corps it was pretty obvious he was the one who planted the earlier bomb, but I can't say I saw it coming that he had a unicorn's horn as well, possibly something coming from his wife in her condition that he used to plot revenge against Discord through any method necessary, in this case by killing Discord's closest friend.