Princess Luna's Assistant.

by PrincessLunas Assistant

4. Of coffee and gas clouds.

I awoke sometime in the middle of night. A large clock mounted on the east most wall of my room (my bed's headboard was pressed up against the north most wall) told me it was nearly two in the morning. I got out of the bed with much difficulty; I was quite impressed with the bed I had been provided. It was comfortable and just to my liking, not to firm and not too squishy. I was tempted to simply lay back and enjoy the comfort, maybe let my mind run around itself for a little while as I drift in and out of sleep. I then felt a great urge to use the restroom and not a number one! I was up and about within about three or four minutes of looking at the clock shortly after waking up.

The bathroom connected to my bedroom was nearly identical to Princess Luna's bathroom. I won't go into detail on the bodily functions that were used in the process of going number two, but I will say that due to that function of my bowels I will quarantine the bathroom for about five or six hours. After the bowel movement I left the bedroom on a journey for coffee. I had to wonder where I could locate coffee at two in the A.M. Outside my bedroom there were two guards standing in attention on either side of the door. They wore black armor...Luna's guards? What are Luna's guards doing outside my room!?

"Um......hi." I say looking at them with a quizzical look.

"Good morning, sir." One grunts as he continues to stare off into the wall on the other side of the hallway.

"Ummmm whatcha doin'?" I ask wondering why there are guards positioned out side my room.

"Following an order by Princess Luna, sir!" The other grunts.

I sigh and decide I haven't been up long enough to really care just yet. My brain was still functioning at it's lowest efficiency without the fuel it so desperately craved. Hint: it rhymes with Toffee!

"Fine." I say with another sigh following shortly after. "Just direct me to some coffee."

One of them cracks a smile. The other gives him a sharp look, giving a signal for the smiling one to regain his composure and quickly. However the damage was done, to another mind the guard that smiled would appear to be an amateur. With me, though, I understood, sometimes you can't help but smile at somethings. It's only Equestrian to do so. I decide a polite but firm inquiry will suffice. I was considering the commonly used phrase "Something funny?" then as my vocal chords began to generate sound I switched to "Just direct me to the coffee."

"Princess Luna does not require sleep but drinks coffee to keep her nerves and mind artificially sharp at night. She has a pot in her bedroom and one in her office. Knock on the office doors first and if you are left without an answer from within knock lightly on the bedroom door." The guard that smiled says.

"Thank you." I say groggily walking towards the stairs as I finish pronouncing the 'you'.

I quickly trotted up the stairs. I wanted to dash up there like a starving animal that has the scent of meat... but I hadn't had my coffee yet and required every ounce of strength just to make my way to the coffee. I know I've mentioned coffee a lot lately; but I'm like a zombie-pony. Cups of coffee are my "brainsss".

Anyhow within a minute of walking away from the guards, I was standing in front of the double office doors. I was a tad nervous, I almost felt a slight fear for the doors since last time one of them slammed into my nose. I put a hoof to my bandage after a second of trying to sniff and failing, I knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" The Princess calls from within.

With the next words I took notice to just how nasally my voice still was if I spoke at a slightly elevated volume. "Star Dasher, ma'am." I call through the wooden doors, my voice cracking slightly from general anxiety. I lean back, then take a cautionary step back from the doors.

The door opens quickly and Luna is standing just two meters from me. "Please don't call me 'ma'am.' Authority is over rated unless it's used in romance."

I am puzzled by this. What does she mean? How is authority used in romance of any kind? "Ummmm what?" I ask forgetting my general anxiety for a second to ponder this statement.

"The dominance and submissive sides in a relationship. When in the bedroom, authority can be made, temporarily, as once individual exerts dominance over the other in order to stimulate the both of them." Luna says nonchalantly. I make a confused face at her. "What?" She asks noticing my puzzled expression.

"Why in the wide world of Equestria is the Princess of the night pondering stimulation through dominance?" I ask.

"Why in the wide world of Equestria is said Princess's new assistant at her door at two in the morning?" Luna asks in retort. "Are you hear to discuss the psychological mechanics behind sexual stimulation or would you like to come in and talk about something else?" she asks jokingly.

"I just want some coffee and one of the guards you posted outside my door said you have some." I state in a polite manner. "I also wouldn't mind some conversation, but umm please not on sexual stimulations or the mechanics behind them." I say with a light chuckle.

Luna steps aside. "Come in. I have a fresh pot of coffee and I am currently in the process of mapping a nebula not far from Equestria." She says with a gentle smile.

I walk into the office. There's a small balcony right across from the entrance door. A large mainly golden or brass telescope was mounted on the balcony. It wasn't just some little telescope on a tripod. No. This probably weighed nearly half ton and was brought in in many, many small pieces. There was a small canvas on one of those standing panting apparatuses. It had a colored sketch of a gas cloud. The gas cloud was currently half completed, but well done thus far. This must've been Luna's nebula. The balcony had small half walls on either side of the mounted telescope, they were a little wide. Just wide enough for a few cups of coffee, maybe a plate of food, to rest on it safely. There was some room between the stone half walls and the telescope. This is to allow movement by the telescope, not just vertically but horizontally as well. I spotted a pot of coffee to the right of the telescope and a coffee cup within a few inches.

Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!

Comments

[Melancholy Angel]

Brooahhh! Coffee coffee coffee. Coffee! It's not as strong as methamphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth.

[Dragon Blaze-X]

[nogoodnamesleft]

I'm liking where this is going.... If you know what I mean

[ForceUser]

OC, check
Black hair, red body, check
Both princesses fawning over him, check
A 'genius', check

I read all four chapters and while the writing is pretty good it's hard to shake the feeling that this is just another self insert OC living out your fantasies story. There are potentially some redeeming qualities to the character but without knowing you personally those could all just as easily be copies of your own personality/physiology.

What I found rather strange is that I couldn't find any mention of his cutie mark even after checking a second time.

But it seems quite a few people like your story so good luck with it all the same. It's just frustrating seeing a story that I read before this one with an original character design and excellent writing get a low rating while a story that is in my opinion inferior get a high rating.

[PrincessLunas Assistant]

3118270 Hmmm I suppose I use the variations of a same personality (they are usually not my own or a tweak of my own, aside from Seethe Master. I used myself as a basis fro him because I wanted to see if a self-insert could ever work and it did, sorta) because it's a tad easy. I should make a few more tweaks this time. I have no fantasies about ponies (aside from going the Equestria, because 'well why the frack not?') I simply like writing romance stories because its kinda fun.

Also...I forgot his cutie mark?
frack.

[PrincessLunas Assistant]

3116777 I suppose I tend to do a self insert by accident. Whenever I write or read I tend to sort of hear my own voice for the my any characters who well...don't have a voice other wise. For example, if I write Celestia's dialogue I generally try and think of Celestia's voice. When I write Seethe I tend to think of my own because otherwise he doesn't have one in my mind. (Because I've never heard it! So therefore default voice activated, lol)
I'll tweak Star Dasher's personality a bit more than I was planning. See what I can do with it, with out doing a re-write of some of the previous chapters and making you all go back and read them.

[Techogre]

This is a wonderful story so far. I look forward to more.

As a friendly suggestion, you may want to consider a prereader and/or an editor. The writing and story is great, I just found some the the actual wording to fall flat at times. If you would like me to take a look, I would be happy to.

[PrincessLunas Assistant]

3121079 hmm yes. I'll do a bit of extra work on my end and possibly consider you for a pre-reader.

[Luna Secret Stallion]

Coffee!