Raining Metal

by thecakeisalie

Passing

It had been a pretty good day, all things considered, Midnight thought to himself. Even that lilac unicorn, what was her name? Twilight Sparkle? Anyways, even she hadn't been able to see through his disguise. She literally stunk of power, but his ancient spells still held. Now all he had to do was complete his job, and it'd be easy sailing until the draft letter arrived. And he'd be able to do his job in about an hour. After all, Granny Smith Apple was clearly sick. He hoped that the Apple clan wouldn't decide to check on her at a crucial moment. That'd really suck, especially when the one called Applejack was so cute.

As he trudged into the barn, he prepared to finish what he'd come here for in the first place. He'd need to break his spells, just for a little while. Plus, he'd probably need to cast a spell on anypony still awake. Just to be safe, of course. Nothing too powerful would be neccesary. Or so he hoped.

When finally the time came, and the clock was barreling towards midnight, he got up and sneaked into the house. First he checked that everypony was deep asleep. Applejack tossed and turned, but seemed to be fairly much out of contention. Big Mac was out for at least five more hours, and Applebloom was with the CMC's somewhere. Then he made his way to Granny Smith's room.

Unsuprisingly, she was still awake. Ponies seemed to have some sense of when it was their time. As Midnight let the spells fall away from himself, he was clearly revealed as what he really was: a magnificent Alicorn, seven feet tall at the shoulder, with a horn like night soaked in blood, and wings that clearly belongeed only on gods and godesses. A wind from nowhere seemed to blow his mane and tail in random directions. His mane had grown out, lost it's spikes, and become a flowing river of lava, at least in apperance. As his horn started to glow the deep black of the void, he leaned down and whispered in Granny Smith's ear, "I send you to the afterlife, child. But never alone. You will be guided by your own soul guide. The last great journey starts now." At that, he tapped her head lightly with his horn, and the last breath went out of Granny Smith's body. Her soul was visible for just a second before it dissapeared into the afterlife.

"What the hay is going on! Who are you?" Midnight heard from behind him, in the unmistakable Apple accent. Turning around slowly, he let his magic expand, and envelope the new arrival. He finished his turn to come face to face with a shocked Applejack. "But... you look like... the new unicorn..." she stammered.

"What I am about to tell you, you can never repeat. Do you understand?" Midnight responded. He fully intended to make sure she wouldn't remeber it anyways, but if his magic failed for any reason, he wanted an assurance that she wouldn't be giving out his secrets.

With a simple nod, Applejack answered his question. In a practiced and stately voice, Midnight started his speech. "Good. I am the new unicorn. My name is Midnight to you, but it has been many things, in many times, at many places. I was never really a unicorn. Everypony just sees what they want, as far as my breed goes. You wanted to see a unicorn, so you did. The first time Fluttershy saw me, she saw a pegasus. But your decision to see my as a unicorn has influenced the rest to see me that way. So they do. When I said I was born in Babylon, I wasn't kidding, and I wasn't lieing. I'm about 11,000 years old. I was released by a beautiful earth pony named Wonder. She released me accidently, of course, but it was too late. I am two things, at the same time. I am first death, the taker of lifes, and granter of rest. I am secondly life, the giver of existence, and creator of purpose. As such, the night and day are both my realms. I patrol both the land of sleep, and the realm of awarness. No pony escapes me. In fact, the only reason I'm still here is because it's easier to manage wars when participating." This speech knocked Applejack onto her haunches, stunned. It took her a long while sitting on the rough wooden floor to figure out what was going on.

"So... so... you're death?"

"Yes."

"And you're how old?"

"About 11,000 years."

"Ok... so what happens now?"

"Well, it's not your time yet, so I'm just going to wipe your memory and put you back in bed. You'll never even know what happened tonight."

"What if I don't want ta ferget?" Applejack challenged, getting defensive. Even if she was confused out of her mind, she didn't want anypony messing with her memories, especially an important one like this!

After giving an exhasperated sigh, Midnight tersely responded, "It's either this or death. And I am NOT going to send you off early. Understood?" He then proceeded to follow through, without giving her half a chance at another protest. Sending a strong blast of magic through Applejacks mind to wipe away the memory had the desired secondary effect of knocking her out.

After putting Applejack back in her bed and giving her nice dreams about handsome stallions eating apple pie, Midnight recast the illusion spells on himself, and set out for the barn. Determined to catch a good nights sleep after his recent ordeals, he lay down on some hay and got setteled in for the night. He knew tommorow would be a long day, and he knew why, too.

Comments

defintly better. this is another story im stayig with and if this is your first time writing a true fic ...... welll enough said

[bearcat]

you've got some typos. his when you meant her (remember most everypony in this world is a filly/mare) and the wrong to (he finished his turn, to come face to face w/ ) but that's a technical matter and can be caught with more proof reading.

Speaking of which, do you know of any critique groups around you? Sometimes fiction writer wannabes gather at, say, the local library to discuss writing techniques. Feedback is the best way to go from an inexperienced writer to an experienced one.

As a matter of fact, as NaNoWriMo is coming up, you may be able to find more writerly types at your library, or you could always ask in the region-specific forum at www.nanowrimo.org

Good luck!

[Professor Donger]

this story is actually awesome XD