Ponyloid-ism

by Syringed

Part 1-1: TASTE THE RAINBOW (Edited some more)

Ponyloid-ism

By: Syringed

---

An extremely bored Miku Hatsune was sitting in the middle of her dark bedroom, with a Windows laptop sitting in her lap, and a giant tub of leek-flavored ice cream sitting a few inches away. She leaned on the table, holding her head up with her wrist. A small stream of drool flowed from her mouth, down her arm, and collected into a small puddle on the table.

Having just beaten the last video game she had on her laptop, she was officially completely out of things to do.

It has been months, since Master had last used her program, Vocaloid 2.0. 8 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, and 31 minutes since her program was last used. She counted.

Now who was this Master that she spoke of? Well, he was her user, her producer, the one who supplied the music she sang so gracefully. Whatever he was doing, it wasn't involving her, or her singing talents.

As a result, life had decayed to simply “Wake up, eat, practice singing, play a video game, sleep.” It was pathetic, boring, plain, and, in a way, it wasn't living it all. It’s not like the Vocaloid program actually generated a proper world for her to live in. As a matter of fact, the world stopped generating after about 5 miles, and it’s not like she lived within five miles of any major Japanese city.

She literally went to every one of the few stores in the vicinity, and bought at least several hundred thousand virtual yens worth of merchandise, and the only clothing store in the vicinity didn’t have its clothing lines updated as the months went by. As the fashionistas say, those clothes were SO last week!

Miku also played and beat literally every video game she had in her possession. Yes, even the Impossible Game. Even worse, most of the other Vocaloids lived past the five mile boundary. The only one that did was Neru and she spent all her time diddling away on her blasted iPhone.

“Totemo taikutsu datta…” She muttered, eating another spoonful of leek ice cream. Only thing left to do is to derp around on the Internet.

She opened Internet Explorer, and opened three tabs on the browser: Tumblr, Youtube, and a site with images of people committing lewd acts.

No, you didn’t read that wrong. She was watching porn. The fact that cute and innocent Hatsune Miku was watching porn shocks even us, the writers.

But we can partially blame loneness on this, and we can also blame Master for being an ass-hat by ignoring her.

But, a girl has needs, right?

And don’t be so quick to pass judgment on her for committing such a lewd and heinous act, because in at least one point in our lives, we have done the exact same thing. Don’t try to look so innocent.

---

After sufficiently satisfying herself and sufficiently cleansing herself, Miku closed the tab filled with things completely inappropriate for a story as such. She then cleared her history, as such an act as she just committed was taboo in society. Plus it would destroy, or at least damage her reputation. It is sad actually, to see people so focused on personal appearance. Plus, she's a virtual pop star, no one should actually give a damn.

But that is not what matters right now.

She then switched to the Tumblr tab. Why Tumblr? Because there was always images of her in outfits that made her look absolutely stunning/adorable/desirable. It was a decent source of entertainment. Plus a few of them were outfits that she would kill for. Hopefully she won’t actually kill to get them, because what would we ever do withthe epitome of graceful cuteness and voca music that is Hatsune Miku sitting in prison on the charges of third degree murder.

Any who, she proceeded to log in, typing her email address, her password, and her username which was completely and utterly inconspicuous: “TehSexyMiku01”.

Moving her cursor to the top of the page, she typed in her name, and pressed enter. She was eager to find new images of herself. Waiting with bated breath, she watched the page loading, pixel by pixel.

And the first image that showed up. Under it, the label 'r34' was present in big red letters.

It was just the first image anyways, it not like all people posted on tumblr was porno.

She waited for the entire page to load. As each image loaded one by one, each and every single one had the label 'r34' under it.

Now for the sake of the children, there shall be no descriptions of these lewd images.

As the rules of the Internet say, “There is porn of it, no exceptions.” Emphasis on NO EXCEPTIONS.

“No, no, no, no!” Miku shouted.

She shook her head back and forth, her teal pigtails swinging wildly. What did she expect? Everyone knows the rules of the Internet. Even Black Jesus knew of the rules of the Internet and he didn’t even have Wi-Fi.

She had just watched porn and then is embarrassed by some more porn. Hypocrisy.

Any who, she slammed her left index finger on the control key, and her right index finger on the 'w' key. Her teal laptop bounced around in response to her manic attempts to close the tab filled with rather embarrassing images. Then a window popped up.

Internet Explorer is not responding.

“Dono you najigoku desu!?” She screamed. She threw her arms into the air and let out a scream of rage. She then slammed her head against the table in front of her.

Exhibit A everyone, why you shouldn’t use Internet Explorer.

In a last ditch attempt to rid herself of the humiliating images, she slammed her fist on the power button of her laptop. She held it there, putting more and more of her weight on the power button. Finally, the screen went black.

She let out her breath in relief.

Miku pressed the power button again, letting the computer start back up again.

Learning from her mistake, she moved her cursor pass the sobbing icon of Internet Explorer and to the smirking multi-colored sphere of Google Chrome.

Once Chrome was open, she typed in youtube.com in the address bar, and pressed enter.

She decided to check out the home page of Youtube, just to check what was hot right now. Her finger scrolled down the wheel of her teal mouse.

There was nothing particularly interesting, other than a trailer for the new Halo game, and a trailer for another one-word Disney movie. Nothing caught the eye of the 16 year old pop star.

She scrolled down the page some more, and one video did catch her eye.

It was simply named ‘MLP: Diarrhea is Shit.’

Miku giggled at the ridiculous name of the video. She moved her mouse towards the video's thumbnail, and clicked on it. The familiar dotted circle of Youtube appeared on the page.

While she waited for the video to buffer, she looked at the date of which the video was uploaded. There was no date. Odd. She looked at the name of the channel in which it was uploaded. There was no channel name. Oddilicious.

Miku knew something was wrong, she could smell it, but then the video finished buffering and an image of six cartoonish Technicolor characters appeared.

The characters were equine in body shape. Each had its own color scheme, differing in body colors, mane styles, and eye color. Each also had its own symbol on its flank, representing something completely unknown to her.

Before Miku could dwell on the fact that something was fishy about this video, she realized one fact about these characters. They. Were. Adorable.

She squealed in extreme fangirl fashion.

“Korer no poniichan ha totemo kawaii!” She held her sleeved arms to her chest, and turned her body left and right. It almost looked like an abridged version of stretching your back, but still managed to look rather adorable on her.

All of a sudden, the images of the ponies disappeared, and replacing the image was a bag of Skittles.

“Desu ka…Skittles?” She asked herself, wondering why the images transitioned so suddenly.

Suddenly, her entire computer screen was filled with the rainbow colored, juicy, delightful candies. They burst out of the Youtube video, flowing out onto her computer screen, and finally, with a shower of crystalline liquid, the Skittles flew out of the screen like little rockets, little tails of deliciousness trailing like comet tails.

They completely engulfed Miku, while in the distance she could hear a voice yelling, “Taste the Rainbow Motherfucka!!!”

In any other situation, the phrase would be extremely out of place, and the speaker of the phrase would probably be deemed a whack-ass. She didn't know what symbolic meaning the phrase had, or why some mystical being was shouting in the first place.

The delicious candies began to glow their respective colors. It began with little steaks of purple, red and green orbiting around Miku at impossible speeds. But the candies' brightness increased in proportion to their swift increase in speed.

Soon, the little candies lost their visible color, and morphed into one giant cloud of blinding white. Miku shut her eyes tight, and even through her eyelids, she could feel the bright lights burn into her eyes.

Then somehow, amidst the bright lights, she blacked out.

---

Warm.

It feels warm.

Why does it feel warm?

Did Miku accidentally burn herself in the shower again? I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

No, this was heat from sunlight. How could it be sunlight? As far as she knew, she was inside her bedroom.

Miku slowly opened her eyes.

It was bright. Brighter than that one time Neru tried her flashlight app on her.

“Desu ka…nani kore?” She muttered, both annoyed and confused. She opened her eyes once more, slowly letting the sunlight into her eyes. She blinked several times, images of the sun and several puffy clouds slowly becoming clearer.

It was tranquil, and quiet. One could just lie there for hours, and just think about life, the Universe, and everything.

Out of nowhere, the face of a small yellow horse with a red mane wearing a matching red bow filled her vision.

“Ya’ll alright?” The little filly asked. There was concern evident in her voice.

Miku blinked, ever so slowly.

“Desu ka…kore ponii?” She asked herself, not believing what her sense of vision was detecting.

“Sorry, but I don’t understand what you are saying. Did you say…day-sew cah?” the filly asked.

Now there were several facts that one could, and would, notice right of the bat, like this little horse was talking, but of course, Miku decided to notice the most insignificant fact that one could notice. That fact was that this little filly was the most adorable thing that she had ever seen.

Big. Motherfucking. Deal.

She squealed in the most obnoxious fangirl voice that has ever been heard and threw her arms around the little filly. She then squeezed, with the power of a trash compacter squeezing down on a giant plushie. A few painful sounding cracks were heard here and there, but they were swiftly disregarded by the high levels of cuteness emanating from the little filly.

“Ponii-chan! Ponii-chan! Ponii-chan! Ponii-chan kawaii!!” Miku squealed over and over again in complete admiration of the adorable little filly.

Now we get that ponies are rather cute, but really, there are more important things to attend to at the moment.

...

Miku?

...

Fine. Continue.

Said filly, however, could not return the favor as she was currently getting the life squeezed out of her.

“Ah…can’t…breathe…” Applebloom rasped. She gasped and wheezed, but failed to get any of that precious oxygen into her system. As blackness started to fill Applebloom's vision, a pale blue replaced the red in her face.

Miku, however, did not notice the filly she was hugging, if you could call whatever that is hugging, was turning a pale sort of blue. Instead she noticed her arms were no longer what one would actually call arms.

They were white stumps, like thick leeks. At the tips, she could recognize hooves.

Her left eye twitched ever so slightly, and the left side of her mouth curled up, giving her the look of a madman. Well, a madmare would be the more correct term for the current situation.

“…Watashino, ponii?” She said, her mind not able to wrap around the fact that she was no longer what the scientists would call 'homo-sapiens'.

In typical teenage girl fashion, she burst into tears and fell to the ground, sobbing pathetically. She slammed her hooves against the soft grass, wailing “Watashino ponii!” over and over again.

Hormones. They will ruin lives.

Meanwhile, Applebloom had recovered from her asphyxiation, and was currently attempting to stand without aggravating her sore ribs even more.

She did notice the little scene that was unfolding in front of her as she was standing up.

Applebloom just stood there, unsure of how to tackle the situation. Wailing in front of her was a white teenage unicorn with long teal pigtails slamming her hooves against the ground like a five year old having a temper tantrum.

“Ah’m gonna have a hard time explaining this to Applejack…” Applebloom thought grimly. “And even worse, Ah can’t even understand what this crazy mare is sayin’.”

Author's Note:

Got this "brilliant" idea after falling asleep while playing Triple Baka on infinite replay.

Feedback plox.

Comments

[solarchaser0728]

lol this is awesome! i cant wait for more!

[Syringed]

I could only find one other Vocaloid story on FimFiction, so as they say, "Are we alone?"

[Charlie_K]

Oh damn this is gonna be so hilarious to read.

[Syringed]

3008502

I'm not sure if 'Vocalnoids' is just a typo or otherwise, but assuming that you are speaking of the Vocaloids, it is not an anime. It is just a collection of voicebanks taken from a singing voice synthesizer called Vocaloid.

Miku Hatsune is the most popular one of the bunch and basically became the face of the Vocaloids.

[Hero of time]

.............skittles??? .............ok

[Armageden]

That might have been Discord.