Ponyloid-ism

by Syringed

Part 1-3: Pain and Humilation (Edited)

Ponyloid-ism

By: Syringed

“Ah can’t seem to be able to pull this stick outta your mane” Applebloom grunted, as she attempted to yank a particularly large stick out of one of Miku’s mangled pigtails.

“Watashino jinsei wokirai…” Miku sobbed, as she desperately tried to coax her other pigtail back to their smooth cylindrical shape with a hairbrush she borrowed from Applebloom.

The stampede was not fun for young Miku. You would think that a giant stampede would stop in its tracks if there’s a pony sobbing pathetically lying directly in their path, but NOOOOO.

They just kept on going, as if she was invisible, and stomped the crap out of the poor unicorn.

Such a nice welcome from the residents of Ponyville. Definitely makes me want to go there for some R & R.

In a sense, Miku was lucky to make it out with just a mangled mane and a few scratches. But in typical teenage girl fashion, she bawled at the sight of her beautiful hair completely ruined.

Also, bullshit could not be understated when Pinkie’s top hat was completely untouched by the stampede while Miku was trampled by half of Ponyville, despite the two being separated by a few inches.

Life is cruel. Deal with it.

After Applejack had recovered from the bone-shattering sandwiching with her door and the wall, she was, well, pissed. She had threatened to buck several ponies all the way to Las Pegasus, as was tradition when someone pissed the hell out of Applejack. As she was well known for her athletic power, no one really wanted to be at the receiving end of an Applejack buck, and they cleared out like rabbits. Well, all except Pinkie Pie, who was then stuffing herself full of cupcakes.

While Applebloom attempted to placate the sobbing Miku, Applejack was tearing said pink horse a new one.

“What the hay was all that about!? Ya bust into mah house with half of Ponyville and throw a party for no reason at all?!” Applejack screeched.

“But there was a new pony in town! My Pinkie sense told me! And you know I always throw a party for anypony that’s new!” Pinkie said, spewing a few cupcake crumbs out onto the irate cowgirl.

“Ah don’t care! You shouldn’t have busted into mah house and made a mess of mah kitchen!“

Said kitchen had seen better days.

There was cake stuck to the ceiling, barely being held up by frosting, and gunpowder covered the room like a thick blanket of dust. A few charred fireworks shells also lay scattered around on the floor. The cupboard doors were bent and charred, a few just barely hanging on by their hinges.

One particularly large chunk of cake decided that it was too heavy to continue hanging from the ceiling like a bat. Its sticky hold on the ceiling expired and it plummeted like a large chunk of hail. Halfway down, it decided that the most convenient landing pad was Miku’s head.

Obviously.

The sound of cake smacking against her head rang throughout the room. It sounded like someone throwing a sponge against the wall, which is usually not a big deal. But as with all teenagers, the hormones kicked in.

Said unicorn watched with ominous silence as frosting dripped down from her teal hair onto the chair she was sitting in.

Tears welled in her big teal eyes as reality bitch slapped Miku in the face, then proceeded to molest the shit outta her.

Her life really did suck.

She bit her lower lip, whimpered, and started bawling like a baby.

“BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” She wailed, putting her face into her hooves and crying enough tears to flood the Apple’s kitchen/dining room.

Next to her, Applebloom shoved earplugs into her ears and scrambled for high ground.

Poor Miku, must have been hard to deal with the fact that she was no longer a human, or has human as a sentient computer program could be. She missed her hands, her fingers, her teal laptop, and her giant tub of her beloved leek flavored ice cream.

Nasty, that stuff is.

Most of all, she missed the other Vocaloids. Yes even Neru, the technology addict, and Kaito, the nudist. That one time where Kaito decided to strip in the middle of the nearby supermarket to get girls was probably the most embarrassing moment of Miku’s life. She remembered it well, unfortunately.

“Miku-chan ne, onnanoko wochi xekku auto sorera okoni.” Kaito pointed at a group of seventeen year old girls standing in the liquor aisle. “Karera ha totemo atsui!”

Miku shrugged.

“Naze, okonatte sorera wo motomeru?” She said unconcerned, as she grabbed another leek and put it in a plastic bag.

“Iie, amarini mo shurixyuu. Watashi hakou kan gaeru…” the blue haired man said with an evil glint in his eye.

Miku heard the rustling of clothing being removed, and turned to see a nearly buck naked Kaito.

“Chixyotto onna noko! Chixekku auto watashi, ‘naked scarf pose’!” Kaito yelled cheerfully, puttiing emphasis on ‘naked scarf pose’. Downstairs, his manhood swung in and out of his long blue scarf like children on a swing set.

“Ittai nani woshi te iru?!” Miku screeched as she watched the girls Kaito flashed ran away screaming. She felt blood rush to her face as she noticed his balls hanging low and swinging to and fro. She clenched her eyes shut to avoid getting a massive nosebleed, and groped at Kaito's face.

She grabbed something, just not what she expected. It was rough, round, and rather ballsy. She opened her eyes, and saw her hand grabbing Kaito’s man-

WHABAM!

Miku suddenly felt something hard, flat, and extremely painful knock her out of her thoughts. She heard her brain screech ‘FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKIN’ OW’ as it rocked back and forth, clonking against the walls of her skull. Finally her brain stopped rocking back and forth and quit, just like that.

Then she was out like a light.

Applejack stood over the unconscious Miku Hatsune, chest still heaving, pupils still dilated, and frying pan still raised. It gave her a kind of crazed look, like she wanted nothing more than to cut the shit out of the pony she just walloped upside the head.

Applebloom stood frozen on the kitchen countertop, dumbfounded.

“What was that for, sis?!”

“Ah needed her to stop cryin’ like a newborn filly so Ah can actually call Twilight.” Applejack said, dragging the unconscious unicorn’s body into the pantry.

---

“Aaa, watash no atama ga sonnani itai…”

Miku woke from her coma with a groan. Her head was throbbing like hell, and her entire body ached from being roughly shoved into this small little room.

Speaking of which, what was this tiny little room?

Had she been kidnapped? Maybe someone knocked her out and dragged her into this room to be used for diabolical purposes?

She attempted to stand, aggravating her massive headache some more as she knocked it against a shelf a mere four inches above her current position.

Nursing the spot where her head struck the shelf with her hoof, Miku put her ear against the door. She strained her ears, attempting to pick up any conversation on her.

It was the one thing you should do when you wake up from a coma, in a small room.

Master had put her through many…ahem…’training sessions’ like this.

Training sessions. Right.

After a few moments of intense listening, she was finally able pick up a few sentences.

“Ah dunno who this mare is or where she came from, but she’s crazy Ah tell ya!”

Miku recognized the voice as, as she put it, the American redneck pony. The fact that there were people still living in the Stone ages in the States scared Miku a bit, and made her realize how primitive some members of the human species were. Thankfully, she was a sentient program, an AI that beat the system, so she didn’t have to deal with all the crap humans had to deal with.

She still sometimes wanted to be human, because being confined to a ten mile wide circle around her house was not the way she wanted to spend the rest of her life. A.k.a until she was uninstalled.

Speaking of which, going by uninstallation would be an extremely painful way to go…

After getting back at the task at hand, or hoof, she caught something else.

“I know a few translating spells that may help, but if she is going to stay here in Ponyville, she is going to have to eventually learn our language.” Miku did not recognize this voice. It sounded like it actually knew what it was saying, even though she could barely understand what these ponies were saying. “My schedule is rather busy for this next week, so can you let her stay here for a few days?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, who said she was gonna stay here?!” The redneck pony spoke up again.

“C’mon Applejack! She can stay in my room! Please?” She recognized that voice as the adorable little filly that she had squeezed to a pulp.

“No, Applebloom. Ah want her outta mah house!”

“Now really Applejack, don’t be so rash! She has nowhere else to stay. Applebloom does seem to have taken a liking to her. Plus, I’m not going to let just anyone sleep in my home.” Once again, this voice was unfamiliar to Miku. It sound regal, classy, and came off as a bit stuck up to her.

Whatever these ponies were saying, she was gonna find out. Miku groped around in the darkness of the room, searching for a doorknob.

She found none.

Miku puffed up her cheeks in annoyance. Without stopping to think over her actions, she pulled her foreleg back as if she was going to pimp slap someone. Like a baseball player, she swung her foreleg and struck her elbow against the door.

A sharp prickly feeling shot up her limb, and the door’s hinges broke with a loud crack.

Miku gripped her entire limb, wondering why horses even had funny bones. She whimpered as she massaged her foreleg, and leaned back against the door.

The door could not handle her weight, and it toppled over with an ominous creak.

Now let’s take a moment to think, how many times have Miku been stomped, smacked, hit, and thoroughly mutilated since she arrived at this hellhole?

…

I’m going to let that sink in now.

With a yelp of surprise, Miku toppled backwards.She felt a sharp pain shoot up her spine as she landed badly the battered pantry door. A barely audible crack was heard, sending shivers down the spines of the ponies sitting outside.

She shakily lifted her head and looked at the multitude of ponies sitting at the dining table.

The newcomers were purple and white, respectively, the first with a purple striped mane, and the second with a light indigo mane.

Whoever they were, they were very surprised to see the young unicorn pop out of the pantry.

“Um, Applejack? Is this the pony you were talking about, and why was she locked in your pantry?” The purple one asked.

“Oh dear me, darling your mane is an absolute mess!” The white one gestured towards Miku’s mangled mane. A few sticks, a few leaves, and several bits of dirt were still stuck in her long pigtails.

Applebloom spoke up. “AJ said that she would drink her ‘special apple jack’. Ah don’t even know what her ‘special apple jack’ is.”

“Applejack, what do you mean, your ‘special apple jack’?” The purple pony eyed Applejack suspiciously.

“Uh…ah…eh…not drugs?”

---

AND NOW A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT BY MIKU HATSUNE

Miku sat in a leek-shaped armchair, holding what appeared to be a leek-shaped book in her hooves. She wore her usual outfit: a grey sleeveless polo shirt with a teal tie, a short black skirt, and thigh high boots. Somehow, these clothes managed to fit Miku’s equine body, and to be honest, it didn’t look half bad.

It looked bad…

Without looking up, she said, “Konnichiha, Hatsune Miku kore ha, anata ga kidhui te iru watashi ha zankoku na boukou sa re teshi te butsuri tekini kono monogatari no naka de gixyakutai…”

“Hey chucklefuck!”

Miku’s head shot up to find her verbal attacker and open a can of whoop-ass on him, and saw a firestorm of tomatoes being flung at her.

“Aa garakuta!” She lifted her leek-shaped book like a shield, and managed to prevent about 15% of the tomatoes from hitting her body. That being said, there was a leek shaped spot where the flurry of red vegetables/fruits did not hit.

Miku opened her eyes, staring dumbfounded at the audience. She blinked a bit and shook her head a bit to get the dripping tomato juice out of her face.

Of course, anyone who happened to be watching this public announcement would have seen quite the spectacle. The young pop star was completely engulfed with bright red, as if someone had dumped paint on her. Or blood. Blood works too.

“English! Please!” One member of the audience yelled, followed by several mutters of agreement.

Said audience raised another barrage of food, this time cabbages, and Miku finally realized that this public announcement was still rolling.

“Fuxiido wo katto shimasu!” She screeched at the on-stage cameras as she miserably failed at shielding herself from being pelted by cabbages. “Fuxiido wo katto shimasu!!”

Unfortunately for her, the camera crew was too busy laughing their asses off at the sight of the one and only Hatsune Miku being pelted 50s' style by fruits and vegetables.

Whoa, is that a watermelon?

“KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

AND THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT BY MIKU HATSUNE!

Author's Note:

Feedback prish.

Comments

[ShiningStallion]

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[ReaderReads]

Four years?
I was hoping for a chapter...