The Titans' Orb

by Mister Horncastle

Chapter Nine: Sweet Stuff

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Getting comfortable between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, I broke into an excited grin as Rarity levitated a large paper bag over to me, along with a small wooden skewer. Peering into the bag, I was met by scores of fluffy marshmallows. Half of them were as white as Rarity, while the other half were a pale pink, not too different from Fluttershy’s mane; all of them however, smelled equally delicious. The last time I had eaten a marshmallow was around six years ago, on a camping trip with my dad. That had been way back, before everything had gone to shit. Oliver was still my best friend, and although Jan was in the picture, she thankfully kept her distance. With how quickly that happier childhood had been taken from me, getting to experience it all over again with these ponies really helped me appreciate the moment.

I retrieved a white marshmallow from the bag and passed the skewer through it, and then shuffled closer to the fire to roast it. The girls watched intently at my hands as I used my fingers to consistently rotate the skewer, ensuring the heat was evenly distributed. Attempt number one was a grand success, brown and crispy all the way around.

“Still got it…”

“Nice one!” Rainbow Dash praised.

“Heh, thanks.” I replied, popping it into my mouth.

My senses were immediately flooded with the treat’s warmth and sweet crispy goodness, perfectly complemented by the foamy consistency inside. I let out a delighted hum as I was briefly whisked away to merrier memories of happier times. Then it dawned on me… Just as Rarity had said, these marshmallows were from another world, they had come from Equestria! I was eating Equestrian food, hoofmade by Equestrian cooks, most likely produced by Mister and Missus Cake from Sugarcube Corner!

“Oh muh guud, this thastes so uhmazing!” I moaned loudly with my mouth still full.

The ponies giggled, and Pinkie then took the bag from me and proceeded to jam four marshmallows into her mouth at once. Twilight decided that there was too much merriment going around, and took herself off to her tent, causing us all to roll our eyes.

“Well, I’m sure glad you like ‘em, do you even have marshmallows here?” Applejack quizzed, eating a marshmallow of her own.

Swallowing the scrumptious morsel before answering, I confirmed that we did, elaborating that I hadn’t eaten one in a good six years, so alongside such a delectable taste, I was also feeling rather nostalgic. At that, Pinkie Pie cried out in surprise, firing four half-chewed marshmallows at me like a cannon.

“Six years? You went six whole years without eating marshmallows? How are you still alive!?”

Laughing awkwardly, I brushed off the sticky saliva-lathered gloop that had now stuck to me, all the while explaining that it had been during a camping trip with my dad, back when he still lived with us. Rarity’s horn then lit up and a marshmallow floated out of the bag, and without the need for a skewer, it simply floated above the fire and slowly began to roast.

“Funny you should mention your father.” she said tentatively, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

I could tell what was coming, and I allowed her to continue.

“I really hope I’m not being too bold here, and please tell me if I am, but I wanted to ask. Ever since we arrived here and began to observe you, we’ve not seen or heard anything concerning a paternal figure in your life. Of course, none of us have wanted to presume anything, but I would be lying if I said we haven’t been curious. Who is your father exactly? And why did we see nothing of him?”

“Is he dead?” Rainbow blurted out with her mouth full.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity gasped, her eyes bulging.

Assuring her that I had taken no offence, I told Rarity that it was a perfectly reasonably curiosity to have. Taking a deep breath, I thought about what to say. It wasn’t easy finding the right words to describe my father, nor the ruinous decisions he had made. Rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly, I tried to explain things as tactfully as possible, not wanting to paint Clifford in a bad light.

“Well for starters, he isn’t dead, at least I don’t think he is… Truth is, I haven’t a clue where he is now, my mother cast him out one day and I’ve never heard from him since. He was a good man though, a good dad. He loved me and Oliver more than you could possibly imagine, and had all the time in the world for us. There was a time when things were actually quite lovely. Dad held everything together, and even to this day, I know he had the best intentions.”

“What happened?” asked Fluttershy, lowering her head in fear of saying the wrong thing.

I paused for a moment, before telling them as much as I knew about the truth.

“He made a mistake… Everyone has a vice, and Dad’s was gambling. At first it was just petty bets, using only his winnings as a stake, he never took from the family. It was self-contained and controlled, until it wasn’t. I’ll never understand why, but one day he just didn’t fold. He lost again, and again, and again, and he just couldn’t stop. He threw everything at it, desperate to win, desperate for that massive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It broke our family, and we were left with barely enough to pay the bills. Jan kicked him out, and he never came back. It’s been years now, and he’s never once reached out to me. He probably decided we were all better off without him.”

With tears in my eyes, I lowered my head and let out a barely audible croak.

“If only he knew how wrong he was…”

Sniffing loudly, I told the girls that if it was all the same to them, I would rather not talk about it any more. Dipping their heads, they were fully understanding, and Rarity thanked me for elucidating them as much as I had done. I gave them a weak smile in response, and Pinkie Pie suggested we played a game to lighten the mood. We were all up for that, with Applejack saying it might be nice to do something besides trudging for miles and hiding from the authorities.

“Heh, and falling from trees.” Rainbow Dash added with a snicker.

At that, Rarity jumped up with a gasp, realising that nothing had been done about the cut on my leg yet. Using her magic, she levitated Fluttershy’s saddlebags from one of the tents and opened it up, retrieving a strange wooden bottle of sorts. It was primitive in design and looked awfully mundane at first, but as Rarity brought it closer to me, I noticed many intricate patterns faintly engraved into it, giving it something of a tribal appearance. The cap was removed, and my nose was bombarded by the hefty aroma of various chemicals and herbs. My mouth began to water, as it often did when my nose detected something with strong spices involved. Somehow the concoction smelled sour, bitter, sweet, salty, hot, and minty all at once.

Clearly not a fan of the stuff, Rainbow Dash let off a disgruntled cough and asked if Rarity really had to open it up here by the group, and not somewhere else. Rarity ignored the remark and passed the bottle to Fluttershy, to which I tilted my head. Taking note of my confusion, Rarity chuckled affectionately and explained that Fluttershy was the group’s appointed medic, not her.

“I’m a fashion designer.” she went on, “I don’t know the first thing about applying salves and ointments to wounds. Fluttershy here on the other hoof, has taken a two-year course in nursing, and used to work part-time at the Ponyville Hospital. I may be surgical with amending garments, but I’m afraid that’s as far as my medical expertise goes.”

“Blimey, that’s amazing!” I exclaimed, giving Fluttershy a wide smile, “Seriously Flutters, that’s incredible!”

Flattered by the praise, she blushed a little and approached me with the bottle. And then, with a grin on her face, Rainbow Dash decided to have a little fun with me.

“Hey Callum, I dare you to take a big sniff from the bottle.”

“Oh don’t be so silly, Dashie!” Fluttershy scolded, “Do you remember when you got Twilight to do it?”

“Yeah, it was hilarious! She didn’t speak to me for like three whole days!”

“I can’t imagine why.” I huffed with amusement, rolling my eyes, “I can smell it from here, what even is it?”

Refusing to elaborate, Rainbow simply grinned at me and insisted that I would be forever deemed a scaredy-cat if I didn’t do it, and much to Fluttershy’s dismay, I took the bait. Never before had I backed down from a dare, for I could never back away from the temptation. It was practically a compulsion, once I had been issued a dare, it was out of my hands, I was doing that dare.

For as quiet and socially awkward as I had been throughout my teenage years, accepting dares had been a medium for me to live more adventurously. With a combination of school peers, my brother, and my short time in the local Scouts group, I had performed many a dare. I had professed my love to strangers, I had eaten spiders and insects, I had even done a cartwheel off the side of the Scout Hut, yodelling as I did so; how I hadn’t broken any bones during that one was something of a miracle. My funniest dare had been allowing my friend Harry to draw on my fingers with a permanent marker, turning them into disconcertingly well-drawn penises. After that one, my name at school had been ‘Dickfingers the Magnificent’ for a good few weeks, a ridiculous title that I had fully embraced.

As for the worst dare, I had once been ordained to suck on someone’s big toe after a PE lesson. It was sweaty, clammy, doused in sock lint, and was so rancid that I now effectively had the opposite of a foot fetish. Never would I forget that accursed flavour, for it had been burned into my mind…

To make few of many words, if Rainbow Dash was a fan of dares, then this adventure was going to be a whole lot more interesting. Looking her in the eyes, I broke into a devious grin.

“Challenge accepted.”

Seizing the wooden bottle from Fluttershy, I jammed my nose into the opening and sniffed as hard as humanly possible. Instantaneously, I regretted ever being into dares; in fact, I regretted having been born at all, as I endured what would be one of the worst physical experiences throughout my whole journey. The sensation was akin to having gasoline funnelled into my nose, and then set alight with a blowtorch. Bursting into the most abhorrent of splutters and gasps, I dropped the bottle and collapsed onto my side, clawing at the ground and letting out raspy wheezing noises that could have genuinely been mistaken for a dragon’s death rattle. My throat almost completely closed up, and in seconds my eyes had become a cascading bloodshot waterfall. Over my own inhuman squealing, I could hear the roar of Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s laughter, hooting and howling over my unparalleled suffering. Through the torment, I chose to provide them with further comedy, imitating Gollum from The Lord of the Rings with uncanny accuracy.

“IT BURNS! IT BURNS US!” I screeched, hissing and spitting everywhere.

Though I was in complete and utter agony, I had asked for this, and wholeheartedly deserved it, and as Applejack and Dashie’s laughter continued to echo through the woodland air, I heard Rarity and Pinkie give in as well. Their own laughs joined the symphony, and soon enough everyone was in hysterics.

“This is better than when Twilight did it!” Rainbow yowled with tears streaming down her face, “Dude, you put your whole nose right in there!”

She fell onto her back and kicked her legs in the air with delight, with Applejack barely able to breathe herself. Rarity and Fluttershy meanwhile, slowly began to sympathise with me, realising just how much pain I was in. My tongue lolled out of my mouth like an overheating dog, dribbling everywhere and crying between wheezes. It was as though I had just chewed a fistful of Carolina Reapers, and had I been a lesser man, I likely would have gone into shock.

“Somepony get the poor boy some water!” Rarity commanded, rolling her eyes.

“Pain!” I wailed, both sobbing and laughing at the same time.

Applejack, still chortling loudly, got up and went into her tent. She then re-emerged with her own personal canteen, offering it to me as she continued to laugh. I grabbed it without saying a word and unscrewed the cap, and then latched onto it like a suckling babe, chugging the entirety of the bottle. The fumes in my airways soon dissipated after that, and flopping onto the ground, I panted and gasped with relief as the experience began to pass. Still giggling intensely, Rainbow Dash came over to me and looked down at the pathetic wretch her dare had reduced me to.

“Dude, this is the most I’ve laughed in years. You’re freakin’ awesome.”

“I hate you.” I groaned.

As I recovered further and the hilarity came to a close, Fluttershy came over to me with the foul bottle still in her grasp, asking if she could actually apply it to my leg now. Nodding, I repositioned myself so that my leg was accessible, and finally allowed her to do her duty as the group’s medic.

“This might sting a little bit.” she warned me, “But after what you just did, I don’t think it’ll be too bad.”

Simply nodding in response, I waited patiently as she tipped the bottle, allowing a small amount of the thick goo within to seep out and smear itself across the cut. She wasn’t kidding about the stinging, it felt like someone had just forced the wound back open and rubbed salt into it. Baring my gritted teeth, I let out a low growl, which was when Fluttershy giggled quietly.

“Oh shush you.” she ordered.

Needless to say, I shushed. Had she seriously just spoken to me like one of her animal patients? Not that I would be mad if she had. On the contrary, her nonchalant dismissal of my aggression, accompanied with that giggle, had been utterly adorable. My heart melted, and my pain melted with it. Fluttershy then put the cap back onto the bottle and asked Rarity to return it to her bag. I then twisted my head to get a look at the stuff. The pale green substance was faintly bubbling, and after about a minute it had solidified, becoming a rock-hard scab.

“Damn…” I murmured, astounded, “What the heck is this stuff?”

With a kind smile, Fluttershy told me that it was a healing gel that Zecora had been able to mix together for the group. She had called it Uzima Ooze, which meant something along the lines of ‘Life-Giving Ooze’ in her native language. The girls had since shortened it to ‘Oozima’ to keep it simpler. It was effectively a purée of plants and medicinal herbs from the Everfree Forest, which all together created a gel that was capable of healing wounds with immense efficiency. With a dollop of Oozima, injuries that would usually take months to heal would be repaired in a matter of days! Needless to say, I was astounded.

“That’s… That’s absolutely incredible!”

“Oh yes, it’s truly amazing.” Flutters agreed, “Zecora was commissioned by the Princesses personally to make a lot of it for us, which was no easy task, as it contains some of the rarest ingredients in the world.”

With an impressed hum, I couldn’t help but touch the stuff, feeling the hardened gel with a finger. Trilling my lips, I realised that I was currently being repaired by an interdimensional medicine, crafted by none other than the famous rhyming witchdoctor herself!

“Hey, now that Callum’s done dying, can we play a game?” Pinkie called from the other side of the campfire, her face painted with a ponderous frown.

With a chuckle, I told her that we could, and as an added bonus for her patience, she was allowed to pick the game. She perked up immediately, getting to her hooves and skittering around the tent like an utter nutcase. I couldn't help but laugh, for her personality and ability to become this hyperactive so quickly was a most entertaining sight to behold. Thinking about it, it wasn't too dissimilar to when cats and dogs were afflicted with Frenetic Random Activity Periods, something more commonly known as the ‘zoomies’. After weaving between the tents with excitement, she finally settled down. Pointing out that we still had plenty of marshmallows, she suggested that we all played a game of Stuffy Bunnies.

“Oh heck yeah, I love that game!” Rainbow Dash cried out.

I had heard of this game, or at least, under a different name. Here on Earth, we had a game called Chubby Bunny, or ‘Fluffy’ Bunny depending on one’s preference. Wanting to be sure that it was the same game, I tilted my head and furrowed my brow.

“What’s Stuffy Bunnies?”

With a disgruntled sigh, Rarity confirmed that it was very much the same game, describing it as a vulgar, uncouth activity that involved stuffing one’s face with as many marshmallows as possible. Pinkie then bounced up to me and pressed her nose into my cheek without a shred of awareness for my personal space, and gave her own view on the game.

“It’s a game where you put a marshmallow in your mouth, and then you have to say ‘stuffy bunnies’ without spitting them out! Everypony takes it in turns, and each turn, you keep putting in more and more marshmallows until you can’t say it any more. Whoever can fit the most marshmallows and still say stuffy bunnies is the winner! Oh, and you’re not allowed to chew them or swallow them, that’s cheating, and I’ll know if you’re cheating!”

I could tell why Rarity wasn’t a fan, as it certainly wasn’t a very courteous game. However, being courteous at every waking moment in life was a dull affair, and sometimes one needed to let loose. Stuffy Bunnies with the girls sounded like it would be a right old laugh, and as someone with a very sweet tooth, I would most certainly endeavour to give Pinkie Pie a run for her money.

“Well, I’m game.” I announced, looking around at the others, “Who else is playing?”

“Me!” Pinkie yelled in my face.

“And me!” Dashie shouted after her.

“Oh ponyfeathers, why not? Count me in!” Applejack cheered.

“Ugh, fine…” Rarity huffed, “But only because you’re all doing it.”

I turned to ask Fluttershy if she would be playing, only to find that the yellow pegasus had disappeared. Spotting her tail disappearing into one of the tents, I was about to call after her, when Applejack quickly came over to quietly explain why she was leaving. Supposedly, the last time they had played this game, Fluttershy had accidentally inhaled her marshmallows and nearly choked to death. Since then, she was ultimately terrified of the game, to the point where she couldn't even watch others play it, in fear of them choking too.

“Ah…” I murmured, nodding with understanding.

With everyone else on board, we sat close to each other and put the marshmallow bag in the middle. Now all together in a little circle, the game began. Pinkie leaned forward and picked up the bag, looking around at all of us with a wild grin.

“As the Ponyville Stuffy Bunnies Champion, with an unmatched record of seventeen marshmallows, I will start us off!” she declared.

She stuck her head into the bag, scooped out a marshmallow with her tongue, and stuffed it into her cheek.

“Stuffy bunnies, easy-peasy!” she squeaked.

Rarity was next, she removed a marshmallow and did the same as Pinkie.

“Stuffy bunnies.”

Next was Rainbow Dash, who copied Pinkie by stuffing her head into the bag to retrieve her one.

“Stuffy bunnies!”

I then took the bag and collected one of the white ones. At this, Rainbow Dash pointed to it and giggled.

“Don’t forget to take the pink ones too, not just the white, it’s not fair to keep eating Rarity’s kind like this!”

Applejack and Pinkie laughed heartily, while Rarity scowled at the pegasus.

“For the last time, I am not a marshmallow!”

This caused the lone marshmallow in her cheek to shoot out of her mouth, where it landed on the fire and quickly began melting into a blackened gooey sludge.

“Mini Rarity, no!” I cried out.

We all burst into hysterics at that, including Rarity, who let out a small chortle.

“Well Rare, looks like you’re out already.” Applejack pointed out.

“Uh-buh… that’s… that’s not fair!” she protested, “I was provoked into spitting it out!”

“Oh, give her another go!” I insisted, jerking my head to one side to emphasise my words.

Everyone agreed to let her try again and I handed Rarity the bag, and as expected, she took out a white one. Popping it into her mouth, she said ‘stuffy bunnies’ with ease, followed by Applejack doing the same with just as much ease as the rest of us.

“Time for round two!” Pinkie squeaked.

And so the bag went back to Pinkie, and I wondered how long this game would last…

Five minutes went by in the blink of an eye, and we had all managed to make it to round six. It looked like Rarity was going to lose first, as she was evidently struggling to keep them all in.

“Stooffy boonis!” Pinkie giggled, passing the bag to Rarity.

The unicorn let out a deep groan as she attempted to force her next marshmallow into her mouth. Though she got it in, a pitiful ‘ssuurr’ was all she could muster, before turning away to eject the squishy contents in her gob. Pinkie laughed and bonked her front hooves together, though was able to hold in all her own marshmallows with ease. It was clear that she was going to win, but I was going to make her work for it. Accepting her defeat, Rarity swallowed the one marshmallow she hadn’t spat out, and gave the bag to Rainbow Dash.

“Well, I’ve beaten my last record of only five, so it’s not a total loss.” she mused.

“I forgh this was a vulgah an uncoof game?” I teased, almost losing my mouth’s quarry in the process.

“Uh, well um… okay fine, I suppose it can be quite fun.” she huffed, rolling her eyes at me.

The next to go out was Applejack, who valiantly met her fate on the eighth round.

“Gosh darn it!” she grunted, munching on the marshmallows that she hadn’t spat all over the camp.

The remaining contestants, myself included, dared not laugh and risk joining the farm pony in defeat. Pinkie Pie retrieved a marshmallow and stuffed it in, and it looked like she was finally beginning to struggle, but even so, she still managed to shout a muffled ‘stuffy bunnies’. The bag then went to Rainbow Dash, of whom was on the verge of breaking; it literally took her whole hoof just to cram her eleventh marshmallow in.

“Stooh… Stargh… Stubb… Stubby bummies!” she exclaimed at last with great difficult.

She had passed by the skin of her teeth, but there was no way she’d get past round twelve, and we all knew it. The bag then came to me, I took out my marshmallow and found a nice pocket for it in my cheek.

“Stumffy bumnies!” I hollered merrily.

Pinkie passed round twelve with just as much ease as she had the round before, but just as I had expected, Rainbow Dash met her end. Unlike Rarity or Applejack however, she actually managed to keep all the marshmallows in her mouth, she just couldn’t get the words out.

“Sss… Suuhh.. Sbumm… Murrb!” she muffled loudly, before bowing her head and admitting an honourable defeat.

She chewed up and swallowed, and then watched as I battled it out with Pinkie. Taking my thirteenth marshmallow, I popped it into my mouth and stared at my rival, not taking my eyes off her.

“Stomffy bommies.”

Mirroring my competitive stare, Pinkie took her thirteenth as well and found a place for it.

“Stumpffy bummies.”

{Oh, it… is… on.} I thought to her, flexing an eyebrow.

I passed the next round without much trouble, and if anything, I had found it easier than Pinkie had. Though she had a bigger mouth due to her pony muzzle, it seemed the elasticity of her cheeks weren’t quite as forgiving as human ones. Though it was still uncertain, there was a chance that I might just beat her.

“This is going to be close.” Rainbow breathed, passing the bag to Pinkie on my behalf.

Four more rounds passed.

This was it, this was Pinkie’s record. If she passed this round, she would beat her previous total of seventeen marshmallows, and the pressure was on. Staring at the fluffy white cylinder with dread, she was clearly thinking the same thing I was; surely there was no way she could do this.

Both her cheeks were bulging to near-cartoonish proportions, and so were mine, and as she opened her mouth to insert it, a generous string of drool descended from her lips, missing her pillow by mere millimetres. Rarity cringed and looked away, while Rainbow Dash burst into yet another fit of laughter.

“The two of you look ridiculous!” she howled.

“Both of y’all’s cheeks look like darn apples!” Applejack hooted, shaking her head.

Curious at all the commotion, Fluttershy bravely came out of her tent to see how the game was going. She took one look at me, and her wings flared out in terror, with her great blue eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.

“How is he doing that with his face!?” she shrieked, diving back into her tent and zipping it shut.

Amazingly, Twilight emerged from her own tent, finally making her presence known as she wished to witness the outcome of the game. She then spotted us, and quickly covered her mouth to obscure her irrepressible smile upon seeing the state of us. Groaning through her nose, Pinkie jammed her marshmallow against the sticky wall that had once been the opening of her mouth, and used her hoof to force it in.

“Ss, ssrr… ssurr…” she muffled.

Everyone stared at her, and we all realised; she couldn’t say it. Pinkamena Diane Pie had finally reached her limit, and if I could handle just one more marshmallow, I would win.

“Ssaargh! Ssarm! Mruarb!” she muffled again, more desperately this time.

She made an attempt to move the marshmallows with her tongue, which caused one of them to fall to the back of her throat. Gagging, the filly leaned forward and discharged all of her marshmallows at me like a goddamn claymore mine! I was peppered from top to bottom by the slimy projectiles and I clamped my eyes shut, desperate to contain myself and ascertain my victory.

“I… I couldn’t do it… I just couldn’t do it…” she sighed.

Her ears fell to the side of her head, but after taking a brief moment to accept that her record wasn’t changing today, they sprung back up again. Being the true antithesis of a sore loser, Pinkie passed the bag to me and grinned.

“Well, it’s all up to you now. Can you do it?”

I wiped the slimy buckshot off and nodded my head, determined to claim my victory. Everyone crowded around as I pinched the final marshmallow and raised it above my head for all to see.

“If you do this, you beat the Ponyville Champion.” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, but at such a high score, I’d be honoured if Callum beat me!” Pinkie squeaked merrily.

That remark made me feel a little bit better about pressing on. If I were a less competitive person, I would have likely failed on purpose so that we could end on a draw, but alas, I was not a less competitive person; I wanted to become the new Champion…

With great care and difficulty, I twisted and turned the marshmallow against the slippery wall until it found its way inside. I then used a finger to force it into my already-overstuffed cheek, and with all the determination and resolve I could muster, I made my attempt.

“Sor… Ss… Stom… Hrmm… Stob… Stub-bby… BUMMIES!”

Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped, Rarity’s eyes bulged, Applejack removed her hat, Pinkie Pie fell back onto her bottom, Fluttershy unzipped her tent and peeked out through a thin gap, and even Twilight, dipped her head to me with respect.

I had done it.

“Dude, no way…” Rainbow Dash murmured.

“I can’t believe it…” said Rarity.

“Lisan al-Gaib…” breathed Pinkie Pie, her lips quivering.

And then Applejack broke the stunned silence, by way of raising her hoof into the air and crying out with glee.

“Fillies and gentlecolts, we have a new Stuffy Bunnies Champion! Yee-haw!”

They all swarmed around me, cheering. Pinkie then gave me a heavy pat on the back to congratulate me, turning me into Planet Earth’s first ever human-shotgun. The force of the pat caused me to fire my mouth’s haul in one instant, making contact with the broadside of one Miss Rarity, with full effect on target. The unicorn let out an almighty scream, and frantically attempted to brush them off herself, squealing and squawking in horror.

“NO! GET THEM OFF! EWWWWW! GET-THEM-OFF-GET-THEM-OFF-GET-THEM-OFF-GET-THEM-OFF!”

Pinkie Pie then pointed to the shrieking unicorn with an outstretched hoof.

“Hey look everypony! All the Mini Rarities have returned to their queen!”

Like never before, we all exploded into guffaws of laughter. Rainbow Dash dropped to the floor and kicked out like she did earlier, and even Fluttershy came out to join us, laughing almost as loudly as the rest of us. Even Twilight was laughing properly for once, and after all the harshness and hostility from her, it was one of the most beautiful sounds I had ever heard.

As Rarity hopped, skipped, and shook herself violently to escape the sticky terror that clung to her fur, all seven of us agreed that this had truly been a day to remember.

---

Comments

[PonyJoe1]

“Lisan al-Gaib…” breathed Pinkie Pie, her lips quivering.

I was drinking iced-coffee while reading this, and I straight-up just sprayed my monitor with it.
God-effing-dammit, Pinkie Pie.

[MikiStenbeck]

11899698
translation please?

[PonyJoe1]

11899713
It's a line from Dune and Dune: Part Two, which got turned into a meme.
Lisan al-Gaib is a name for the prophesised Messiah, and there's a bunch of scenes where some bearded dude stares in awe at a dude named Paul and calls him "Lisan al-Gaib" whenever he does something remotely impressive, because he believes him to be the Messiah.

In essence, Pinkie basically implied Callum is the freaking Messiah.

i.imgflip.com/8kql3c.jpg

[Mister Horncastle]

11899724
He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

[MikiStenbeck]

11899724
ah,that's....... MMM. XD

[RDgamer321]

“Challenge accepted.”

Seizing the wooden bottle from Fluttershy, I jammed my nose into the opening and sniffed as hard as humanly possible. Instantaneously, I regretted ever being into dares; in fact, I regretted having been born at all, as I endured what would be one of the worst physical experiences throughout my whole journey. The sensation was akin to having gasoline funnelled into my nose, and then set alight with a blowtorch.

I cannot exactly remember the events leading up to the event, or how the person who asked me to do it even got possession of the stuff, but I was once tricked by a classmate in freshman high school to sniff liquid ammonia. Best comparison I can make to the experience would be the smell of carbon monoxide given off by burning rotten eggs. I stumbled backwards from that one.

[Twanklight Borkle]

Zebra Sauce™ is not friend.

[Mister Horncastle]

11899883
I knew this one would be about the Oozima.