The Poncho Chronicles II: South Beach

by BRyeMC

Beachside Hotel

“South Beach? Fuckin’ awesome, there’s gotta be weed everywhere, knowing how close we are to Cuba and shit!” said Wahlburn happily.

“Yep, don’t know how we ended up so far from where we were supposed to go, though,” said Quantico, as he looked out the bus’s front window.

Cannon ran to the front of the bus and looked at the giant skyline of the city. “So what are we going to do? I mean, look how big this place is!”

“Well,” started Quantico, “this bus needs to be fixed up a lil’, so we could be stuck here for a couple of days.”

A flash of excitement erupted on everyone's face. Cannon looked back at the others. “At least there’s shit to do here, unlike the west coast. And better yet, there has to be plenty of gay bars for Jeb and Poncho.” Cannon laughed while both Jeb and Poncho shook their heads in disappointment.

"That's not even funny," said Jeb. "Others are going to call you a douche for saying stuff like that." Cannon laughed and shrugged away the comment.

“I guess we can finally find a nice hotel to stay in for two nights,” said Rarity happily as she turned to the girls. She looked over at Clyde and the others too, but she only focused on him. “No more tents or filthy cells and we should be able to afford a decent one if we all pitch in.” Everyone agreed as they all didn’t want another situation involving cells or crazy cults to happen again.

“I’ll check online to see how many rooms and which hotel we can afford,” said Patel, bringing up a web browser on his cellular device.

“Kick ass, dude!” said Wahlburn, springing up on his hooves, “Ay, Spike!”

“Yeah, bro?”

“Let’s go get some green!” Spike agreed instantaneously while Twilight yelled at him. Spike began complaining to Twilight as Patel looked at Wahlburn.

“Don’t spend too much damn money, we all need to chip in.” Wahlburn nodded and brushed the comment aside.

It was a sunny, hot day in Miami and there was a gentle breeze that made for the perfect weather. It was almost too perfect. Wahlburn and Spike ventured off of the bus, which was parked just outside of a repair shop near downtown. Both of them stuck together since they didn’t want to get lost in the sea of buildings and skyscrapers. Soon the pothead and his new apprentice approached a sketchbag on par with Poncho himself on the corner of a less wealthy street.

“Hey, you, come here,” said Wahlburn, motioning for the dude.

“What’s up?” asked the sketchy guy. He was wearing a closed hoodie and decked out in black clothing.

“Do you have any....products for sale?” asked Spike looking around suspiciously.

“Oh, I think I know what you’re talking about. Wait here.” The dealer disappeared down an alley and soon returned. “Okay, what exactly are you looking for?”

“Some ganja, that’s about it.”

“Alright.” They made the transaction and the dealer looked back at them. “Are you sure you don’t want any bath salts? Shit is in high demand right now.”

Both Spike and Wahlburn looked at each other confused, “Bath salts, what the hell are bath salts?” asked Spike as he looked at Wahlburn. Wahlburn shook his head as he didn't know either.

The dealer looked at them funny. “You haven’t heard about this shit? It’s like cocaine, but with more of a ‘kick’, shit’s crazy. ‘Bout to be all out of it soon.”

“Nah, we’re just good with the grass.”

Wahlburn and Spike walked away with enough weed to last them for two chill nights in the hotel, and some extra for the bus ride back home. The two eventually arrived back at the bus, and found Patel and Rarity discussing which hotel to stay at. It was the first time since the initial outburst on the bus that night they found Quantico dead since they last talked to each other again.

“I’m game with staying at a hotel on the beach,” said Patel.

Rarity frowned. “But that’s gonna cost us a lot of money....”

“It’s just for two nights. Besides, we need some relaxation from that shit we just went through.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s all go down to the hotel and check in.”

“Hey Patel,” said Wahlburn, “how many rooms are we getting?”

Patel looked at everyone and counted numbers in his head. “We’ll be able to afford six rooms, so I think we should have four rooms with three people each, and two rooms with two people each.”

“Nice, so who’s with who?” asked Wahlburn.

“Well, we know Jeb is with Applejack and we know that Rivs and Sticky will be together. As for the groups of three, we can decide that when we get to the hotel.”

“Alright, everyone, let’s go.” Poncho and the others left the bus and proceeded to the hotel through the bustling streets of South Beach.

The walk took only five minutes getting to the hotel due to the fact there were so many side streets to cut their travel time. The hotel, which was right next to the beach, was extremely large and modern. The outside was decorated with palm trees and the smell of the ocean air was present no matter where you were outside.

“This shit’s going to be epic,” said Spike looking around at all the bright lights of the city life.

“Yeah it is, but I’m hungry, we need to get something to eat,” said Rainbow Dash.

"You're always hungry girl," said Tyrone.

“We can get something to eat after we get the room situation figured out,” said Twilight annoyed by her friend’s constant hunger problem.

The group walked into the hotel, and immediately recognized how luxurious the hotel was. The lobby was filled with residents and other tourists. While the others looked around the lobby in astonishment, Rarity walked up to the counter. The desk assistant was missing so she rang the bell three times. She waited for a few minutes then sadly walked back to the others.

“They aren’t here. Maybe it’s a lunch break?”

“I don’t think so, it’s three in the afternoon,” said Twilight, “I guess while we wait we can figure something out. We still need the list of roommates.”

“I’ll room with you, Twilight...” said Fluttershy in her usual quiet toned voice.

“Alright, anyone else want to room with us?” There was an awkward pause, and even a random cough. Twilight frowned, “Fine, Poncho you’re joining us because no one else will.”

“Aw, come on guys...” said Poncho sadly, “I wanted to room with Patel or Cannon...”

“No.” said Cannon, “I got to be with my wingman. Isn’t that right wingman?” He looked around and saw Clyde was ignoring him and talking to Rarity. Cannon stormed over to them. “Wingman!”

Clyde looked at him. “What?”

“I thought we discussed that if we ever had to be roommates with anyone in the world, we would be the two together until the end! It’s our destiny as wingmans!”

“Yeah, each room can have up to three of us so you can just join us if you want. I don’t know why you are making a big deal about this.”

“But there’s a third wheel to our wingman destiny!”

Rarity was going to say something but Clyde spoke first, “Technically, you are the third wheel to this group. Now, I’m starving so I’m going to get something to eat.” He departed with Rarity closely following him. Cannon stood there in shock.

“I’ve been replaced in the wingman destiny...” he said disheartened. Wahlburn walked up to him and put his arm on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it brother. You can have some of our new weed we bought.”

“Sheeeit man,” said Tyrone, who was sitting down on the couch in the lobby watching a basketball game, “we just got here.”

“I don’t give a fuck!” replied Wahlburn as he sat down on the couch beside him. “Anyway, what about the other rooms. We can afford two more?”

“Yeah, I’ll crash with you and Spike,” said Patel. “I want to have fun in this city. It’s fucking South Beach.”

“That leaves Tyrone, Pinkie, and myself for the last room. Now can we please get something to eat?” complained Rainbow Dash.

Before anyone could answer, an elegant pony wearing a uniform with the colors of the hotel strode behind the check-in counter. He looked at some papers left on the counter and smacked his right hoof to his head in anger. Curious, and still in need of rooms, Patel walked up to the counter.

“Hello, and welcome to our lovely hotel,” said the pony behind the counter without looking up. “Were you here earlier?”

“Eh, not really. We just got here a couple of minutes ago and tried to order some rooms. We rang the bell and no one came.”

The pony finally looked at him. “So, I decide to show up later than normal, and I find out that none of my coworkers were here in the first place! I’m working with idiots!” He gave a long sigh and looked back at Patel. “Sorry about that. I needed to vent. My name is Still and I’m the manager of this hotel. About how many rooms were you looking for?”

“Well it depends on how many we can fit in each room? How many beds per room?”

Still looked at a chart on the counter. “Most rooms on the bottom few levels are a single doubled sized bed. As we go up, we start to add more room and bed, and of course price. However, the view from the top is rather grand so it’s preference really. Also, depending on your room selection, you will receive a pass for free food at the cafeteria for the duration of your stay with us.”

Patel ran down a list in his head and counted his party. “We need about six rooms near the top of the hotel as they all have two beds, if you don’t mind. Also, can we have them close to each other? We don’t feel like getting separated again.”

Still gave a list of available rooms, locations of each one, and the price. Patel paid for them and returned to the others.

“Got them,” he said showing the keys.

“Great, can we get food now?” complained Rainbow Dash again. The others sided with her and all decided to leave for the cafeteria. Once there, they saw a myriad of hotel residents in a huge cafeteria, ordering food and chilling out, watching overhead televisions. They saw Clyde and Rarity sitting at a table talking and watching a television hanging above them. While the others went to get food, Patel walked over to them.

“Did you eat yet?” asked Patel when he reached them.

“No, I was going to but I decided to wait. I can’t go all crazy here, seeing how we have a budget.” Clyde looked around and saw Tyrone and Poncho fight for a cheeseburger across the cafeteria. “Did you order the rooms yet?”

“Yeah, here.” Patel tossed a key at him. “Oh, and take these, we get passes for free food.” He handed him two passes and left to order some food.

As Clyde and Rarity got up, Poncho and Tyrone blazed past them and sat down at a table close to theirs. Both of their plates were full of various foods. Without speaking, they began devouring everything on their plates. Slowly, the others began to regroup with an assortment of cuisines of all flavors. The next hour was spent eating and socializing with each other.

“Man,” said Cannon slowly and holding onto his stomach, “I haven’t ate like this since your birthday party Jeb.”

“Yeah, you ate all my damn food.” Jeb shook his head, in disappointment and anger. They all laughed while Poncho struggled to eat his last cheeseburger. Before he could take a bite, a mysterious pony walked up to the group.

“Hey, there,” he said to them, “you all residents here?”

“Uh...yeah, well actually, we just got here, but you know, we still are residents.” Poncho stumbled on his words while eating his cheeseburger.

The pony looked at them. “Saaaaaaaame.” His prolonged word made everyone curious and confused.

“So, uh, what do you want brother?” asked Wahlburn.

“Eh. Nothing really. I saw you all hanging out here so I decided to come here and check what’s going on. Anyways, ¿Comó están Uds.?” He threw his black mane to the side with a turn of his head.

The mention of the foreign language made Poncho cough up his food and look at the stranger. “Guys, I got this!” Poncho studied the stranger and after a few seconds of deep thought, faced the group. “He asked where the bathroom is.”

Cannon began to laugh. “No you dumbass! He asked how we are all doing! It's a basic phrase from the South Beach area!"

Poncho frowned while the stranger gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry hermano. You’ll get your groove back. Besides, we are in South Beach, after all.”

“Yeah, I guess I will.” Poncho gave a chuckle, “they don’t call me the Foreign Language Master of our town for no reason!” The others gave a sigh while they let Poncho have his fifteen minutes of fame.

“It’s getting pretty late so I’m going to head to my room,” said the stranger, “it was nice to meet you all.” He turned around and began to leave.

“Wait!” yelled Poncho extremely loudly that everyone in the cafeteria looked, “what’s your name?”

“Me llamo Fluffy Johnson.” He gave a wave goodbye and disappeared into the main lobby of the hotel.

The group stayed at the cafeteria for a few more minutes then all decided to go and see their new rooms to get some sleep.