Slendermane Takes Ponyville

by Silent Bob

Your Dastardly Neighborhood Slendermane

Slendermane giggled like a maniac as he dashed towards the edge of the woods. When he emerged, he gasped in glee at the sight. It was midnight, yet in the distance, a quaint little town still shined bright with lantern light.

It was almost hypnotic in its beauty.

"Woah! This place is amazing! Look at all the cute little house things!" Slendermane beamed excitedly. "What to do first?" He squinted, thinking a beat, before a light-bulb practically appeared above his head. "Hmmm... well, my friends were right about one thing. I can't just go walking into town: it'd start a panic... also, I could get shot."

Bullets did tend to hurt, even if they couldn't kill him. He had to pick a few out of him before.

"I need some way to formally introduce myself," he said, glancing around. "I could go bug Fluttershy or Zecora, but they might get mad at me for coming into town..." He then gave a determined huff. "Besides, I can do this on my friggin' own! I guess I could get Princess Luna, but... eh, she's probably gone by now... she's got more important stuff to do, usually..." He then shrugged. "Guess my only option is to just walk right into town! Ah well - if I get shot, I get shot."

With that, he began to trot forward, away from the edge of the woods and towards the outskirts of town. He glanced around in fascination. Wooden houses surrounded him of all shapes in sizes. Something he had never seen before, save for Pride's hut.

"Must be nice to have one of those," he sighed. "I really need to build one on my free time... which is... er - ninety percent of the time. I could keep all the stuff I usually keep in null space in it! It'd be cool to actually see it..."

He continued to look around, before his 'sight' eventually fell upon a nearby apple stand. Nopony was attending it: instead, there was simply a coin-jar sitting next to a big basket of golden delicious.

"Huh," Slendermane said, cocking his head. "I wonder if those are any good?"

He then thought for a moment, bring a tendril to his chin.

"Still - it can't be free. That must be what the-" He groaned, face-tendriling himself. "Oh- duh. I have some of those coins! I don't know why ponies like to pay tribute to me... I'm not a corn god or anything. It's kind of weird, to be honest. I should probably give them up to um- what do ponies call it- charity - or something? After this, of course..."

Suddenly, with a puff of black smoke, a coin appeared in one of his tendrils. He gracefully dropped it in the jar, before procuring an apple. He did not bring it to his non-existent mouth, however. Instead, it simply began to dissolve in his tendril, flakes of strange, black energy emanating off it.

"Mmmmmm," he said. "Not bad. Beats the crap out of leaves, berries, and fear, I guess. Bleh, fear tastes nasty. Anyway, now I should probably find some ponies to introduce myself to... someponies who won't immediately panic at the sight of me... definitely not younger ones-"

Suddenly, he heard an eep. Slowly, he turned his head. Standing there, apparently frozen in horror, were none other than the three fillies he met in the woods. The ones talking about 'crusading or some such.'

Crap. This is bad - they were afraid of me juggling, for the woods' sake. Gotta keep it cool.

"Um - hi," Slendermane said, blushing slightly.

They continued to stand there, frozen in shock.

Slendermane 'squinted'. Alright Slendermane, what do ponies say to kids in the books? Ah- wait, I know!

He cleared his throat. "My, aren't you three up late. Better watch out, you're so so adorable somepony might eat you up!"

At that, the three glanced at each other, terrified, before:

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! MONSTER!"

"AND HE WANTS TO GOBBLE US UP!"

"EVERYPONY! WAKE UP BEFORE HE GETS YOU! RUUUUUUUUUUUN!.!.!"

"Wah! No! I'm not a monster, I'm just a somewhat confused Eldrich Abomination having a mid-life crisis or whatever! Big difference!"

He was too, late, however. The three then twirled about before galloping away, leaving dust in their wake. As soon as this happened, lanterns began to flick on inside the nearby homes. A few faces appeared in the windows, followed by screams.

Oh great...

"OH MY GOD! IT'S... IT'S THAT - THING!"

"It's not just a legend?! Hide, children - quickly!"

"Crap crap crap crapidy crapidy crap," Slendermane grumbled, before bashing himself with a tendril. "Slendermane, you jackass. 'I want to gobble yo up'... You're rumored to eat children, for crying out loud!"

"And he's racist, too!?" a mule called from a window.

"No!" Slendermane shouted. "I'm not racist- oh for crying out loud! Stop panicking, please!"

"He's getting in our minds: trying to trick us!"

"Have mercy, Slendermane!"

He held his tendrils up in an exasperated manner. "I'm not trying to trick anyone, nor do I plan on eating anyone or-"

Another gasp. "That's because he just wants to skin us alive! He'll make our skin into kites!"

"I live in the woods!" Slendermane cried. "I can't even fly kites there!"

Suddenly, there was a gunshot.

"He won't be hurtin' nobody."

Slendermane twirled about, and if he had eyes, they would be widening. Knew this was going to happen... friggin' guns...

Standing there were twelve ponies armed with various weaponry: muskets, rifles, crossbows, pies... nothing he wanted to be hit with. (Save for the pies, maybe)

Well, that escalated quickly...

"Told you that darn thing wasn't a legend!" an old, oddly familiar pony called: one with an apple for a Cutie-Mark.

Another earth pony, an orange one, nodded in agreement. "Mph. Guess you were right, granny." She then narrowed her eyes at Slendermane. "Keep your weapons trained on em'."

The group complied, though Slendermane was too busy thinking to notice.

Wait... Granny Smith?

Slendermane's non-existent jaw fell open.

"Hey, wait! I remember you!"

Granny Smith didn't respond. Instead, she merely glared at him down her rifle's length. The rest of the group, however, winced in pain for some reason.

Slendermane sighed heavily. "Look: I know what this looks like, er- even if I don't know eating an apple can be considered threatening, but still, I'm not here to cause trouble! I just wanted to see a little bit of what's outside the forest.... which apparently is a lot of guns."

...

"Really shiny guns?"

...

"Sooooo... truce? Yes, no, maybe so?"

A militia member gulped. "Oh lord! Does anyone else hear a voice in their head?!"

"I do!"

"What is it?!"

"Oh, for the love of - I don't have a mouth!" Slendermane yelled, louder than usual because of his exasperation. "I have to use telepathic communication!"

The militia members cringed again. One actually dropped a rifle.

"AGH, IT HURTS!"

"MAKE IT STOP!"

"THIS IS JUST MESSED UP!"

"SHOULD WE OPEN FIRE YET?!"

"NOT YET!" the orange pony shouted. "Granny wants to talk to him, first!"

"Oh shoot... sorry - I'm just a little cross a the moment," Slendermane whispered. "Didn't mean to mind-buck you or anything."

"Don't let him screw with your mind," Granny Smith glared. "It's his greatest strength."

"Then what's his weakness?!"

"You're holding it," she said sternly, before turning back to him. "Slendermane: legend or not, it's time you payed for your crimes. Since my family founded Ponyville, there have been over thirty disappearances in the Everfree Forest. This includes my very own sister."

"H-Honeycrisp?!" Slendermane gasped.

Granny Smith gritted her dentures. "So... you know her name. Funny coincidence, too: she and all the others disappeared heading to the exact same spot where I met you all those years ago."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you!" Slendermane gulped. "I- I was only trying to scare you - it's my instinct! But... I wanted to fight against it, so I tried to act friendly. I wanted to hang out a bit... I collected this awesome twig collection over the years I wanted to show you: some from the very first ones of the woods that are now long extinct..."

"You're lyin'," she growled.

"I'm not! Trust me!"

"Then what happened, to Honeycrisp, huh?!" she snapped, a more saddened look in her eyes than scornful. "If you know her name, you must have met her! What the hell did you do to her?!"

"I-I don't know," Slendermane gulped. "I sensed her nearby... tried to do the usual thing, but she was too brave. I should have just forced her back, but I didn't. She went into the deeper woods and just... vanished, after that." He slumped his head in shame. "I'm sorry."

The group glanced at each other, then back at the Slendermane. Finally, the orange pony furrowed her brow.

"Mph - I hate to say, but he does sound like he ain't telling a tall tale."

Granny Smith narrowed her eyes at him. "You sure of that, Applejack? No offense, but just cus' you're the Element of Honesty does not make you a livin' lie detector. Specially against this beastie."

Applejack shrugged. "Even if he is, he's still uh - what's that word Twilight says - sapient - yeah! And sapient critters deserve a fair trial."

"Yeah, a trial!" Slendermane said joyfully, before scratching his head with a tendril. "Wait - what's a trial?"

"You'll see," Applejack grunted. "Now - keep your... your shadow things in the air where we can see them. No sudden movements, alright?"

"Uh- sure," he said, actually managing to freeze his tendrils.

"Now... follow me," she said nervously. "Slowly... we're taking you to a holding cell."

Slendermane quirked his head. "Wah... a holding cell? It's to uh - hold my stuff, right? While I'm at the trial? Cus I don't really have anything on me..."

---

Ponyville Guard Station

Five Minutes Later

"Ooooooooh," Slendermane said, nodding. "Holding cell. As in - holding me. Gotcha."

Slendermane then sighed, glancing out between the bars - and a new, impenetrable, purple forcefield, at the four ponies in the room."

"Ya sure that thing's gonna hold em', Twilight?" Applejack asked a peculiar, purple alicorn.

Huh, that's weird... I thought only princesses could be those. Maybe it's just a genetic thing.

"I'm not entirely sure," she said. "But it's the best spell I know against dark creatures."

"He's tricky, that one, from what the legends say," Granny Smith said. "He could just be waiting for us to let our guard down."

"Heh, well this guard won't let you down!" an armored, blue, bat-like pony called. "This guy ain't goin' nowhere but the grave!"

"Don't get too cocky, Necrospear," Twilight said.

"Pffft - don't tell me how to do my job, day princess. Trust me, I got this."

Princess? Either she was being sarcastic or... huh. They're usually taller.

"Yes, but I can contact a princess who can."

"No need to get all pissy," she moaned.

"I'm just looking out for you," Twilight moaned. "Princess Luna is only a letter away, you know."

Slendermane chuckled sarcastically. "Yeah... if she isn't too busy laughing her butt off at the situation I'm in. I wonder if that was her plan all along..."

Twilight turned towards him, raising a curious eyebrow.

...

Slendermane cocked his head. "What?"

"Princess Luna is the reason why you're here?"

"She was just the one who tipped the scales," Slendermane shrugged. "I have a lot of reasons for being here. All I wanted was to get out of the forest and see some of the rest of the world: maybe find some people to hang out with. But nope - I get guns in my face. I mean, it was kind of exciting, but still... bullets can't really hurt me, you know. Well - more emotionally than physically, but you get the picture."

"Oh shut your yipper-yapper, Eldy," Granny Smith snapped. "Don't listen to em', Twilight, he's full of it."

"I'm willing to listen to both sides," she said neutrally. "And by the way, Equestria does not support the death sentence, Slendermane..." She winced slightly at the last word.

"Awkward to say in a conversation with me, isn't it? You can just call me Fear if you want."

She shook her head, furrowing her brow. "You know - if I didn't encounter you two years ago, I'd think I had gone insane... again - right now."

"Ooooh, I remember that," Slendermane said. "You didn't have wings back then. By the way, you dropped something."

Twilight squinted an eyebrow. "What are you-"

With that, a book materialized in one of his tendrils, titled: The Pony Mind - By Sealmund Fraud.

Her jaw nearly hit the floor. A small smile overtook her face. "I-Is that?"

"Heh - you betcha."

Twilight furrowed her brow in utter confusion. "You... W-What... what the heck are you?! You're certainly not a normal monster, and I don't think you're a corrupted dark magic user or whatever. As a matter of fact, there are no others of your kind that I know of so... do you mind explaining?"

"To put it simply," he stated. "I'm part of the Everfree Forest's consciousness."

Twilight blinked in awe. "The Everfree Forest... is sapient? It's 'alive'?"

The Slendermane nodded. "Pretty creepy, huh?"

Granny Smith gave a hiss at that, jutting in front of the cell. "Nice try, Slendermane, but I'm on to you. Trying to make Twilight drop the shield so you can gut us all, huh?! Bein' all nice to her to get her to trust ya?!"

"If I wanted to 'gut' you, I could have done it before she even got here!" Slendermane snapped, before taking a deep, apologetic breath. "Miss. Smith - please - I don't want to be your enemy. I'm sorry about what happened to your sister, I really am. I tried to keep her from heading too deep into the-"

Suddenly, he paused.

"Hmph? Keep going," Granny Smith grunted. "I wanna hear this."

She whipped out a hearing horn.

Slendermane ignored it. "That's my purpose, isn't it?" he whispered.

"What purpose?" Twilight asked.

Slendermane looked away from her. How could he have been so blind... well, he had no eyes, but still! He had been alone for thousands of years... how could he have failed to grasp it until now? He had always thought he was just trying to scare ponies because the Everfree Forest wanted some payback, or didn't like anyone within it. However, that might not have been the case.

"The forest isn't trying to scare people people because it doesn't like them... it's afraid," he whispered. He then glanced back at her. "So that means - my purpose isn't to keep ponies out of the woods because the Everfree Forest is angry at them - no, that's not my role. The Everfree Forest is worried about them - worried about them dwelling so deep. I've always known there was some ancient secret within it - something as terrible as Nightmare Moon herself... but what?"

"What are you rambling on about?" Granny Smith grunted.

"And there we have it," Wrath groaned. "Can I leave now? These meetings are stupid and I want to go terrorize Sleepy Hallow. Those pricks are chopping down our trees!" He put on a wicked grin. "Hehe... well I suppose I'll just have to... 'speak' for them, huh?"

He shook his head in disbelief. "It's Wrath! It's afraid of its own Wrath! I - I need to get out of here. I shouldn't be trying to get to know you - it'd kill all the legends about me! You have to be afraid of me!"

"I'm sorry, Slendermane," Twilight said, shaking her head. "But I'm afraid it's too late for that - for all I know, you're trying to trick me right now."

"So, what happens, then?!"

Granny Smith narrowed her eyes.

"What happens? What happens is that you meet the gavel."

Author's Note:

Mph, this chapter was originally supposed to be much longer, covering the trial, but I'm kind of tired and still need to edit this, plus I really like where it ends so... Quad-Shot now, probably.

Comments

[Ginva]

This story is great, carry on.

[Odycay12]

got a large bit of feels from this. i hope to be seeing more of it in the future

[???]

.......

[AppleTank]

You're missing some italics. Momentarily disconcerting, but not a big problem atm.

This is really interesting. I eagerly wait to see how this plays out.

[Lmaozorzz]

>.>
<.<
Slendy best better be teachin' them a lesson on WHY they need to fear him.

fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/4262.jpg

[Corona Silverflame]

I am the 100th thumb!!!! Total that is, not just good.

[OnePunchHero]

NO FUCKING GUNS!!!! *throughs computer and walks away*

[roboman792]

"Don't listen to em', Twilight, he's full of it."

I thought she said "he's full of shit."

[Izarra Kiania]

Ah well - if I get shot, I get shot.

Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.

[Alondro]

*Alondro wanders into the Everfree and finds the Secret Thingy of Secrecy* Oh, just a typical ghost circle. Ya step inside and your subatomic structure decorporealizes. I hate those things. They really screw up my bladder control

[FullMoon]

"And he's racist, too!?" a mule called from a window.

Oh my god- I just can't this killed me for a good minute there