Equestria Girls 2: Electric Boogaloo

by arglefumph

Chapter 3

Principal Celestia was on the phone, convincing someone to donate money to Canterlot High. She and her sister were very good at getting donations for the school; it was thanks to her and Luna that Canterlot High was so well-endowed.

Needless to say, she was unhappy when her important phone call was interrupted with pony nonsense. The three students in front of her were giving her a minor headache.

"But we finally have proof of what happened last month!" Pony Sunset Shimmer said. "That means you can take away my punishment!"

"The police said it was vodka," Principal Celestia said calmly. "That's what happened. Not some otherworldly pony antics."

"Vodka doesn't explain my human counterpart!" Sunset said, gesturing wildly to the other Sunset Shimmer.

Human Sunset Shimmer scrunched up her face. "Are you seriously saying that you're a pony?" she asked.

"YES!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I used to go to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns! I left through the portal when she wouldn't let me into Advanced Transforming a semester ahead of time!"

"Yeah...I think I'll agree with the pasty white woman," Human Sunset said. "You've been drinking too much vodka."

"Duly noted," Principal Celestia said. "After this meeting, please go to Vice-Principal Luna for a sobriety test and drug screening."

"I don't believe in this pony nonsense, either," Twilight Sparkle said. "But I still would like an explanation for why someone impersonated me last month."

"Twilight disappeared after she was crowned Princess of the Fall Formal," Principal Celestia said. "In fact, when we checked the school records, we couldn't find her in there. It's as if she appeared out of nowhere, attended school for three days, then disappeared."

"Maybe you've got a freaky lookalike, just like I do," Sunset Shimmer said.

"I told you, we look like twins because I'm your duplicate from Equestria!" Pony Sunset said. "I just prefer being in high school to being a respected member of Celestia's court!"

"The only court you find me in is the basketball court," Principal Celestia said. "In fact, I think basketball is a lot like your pony world. When I'm busy making slam dunks, I sometimes find myself wishing that there was a sports bra as comfortable as my underwire. But just because I want something a lot, that doesn't mean it exists."

Pony Sunset's eyes saddened. "You're saying that you don't believe in the pony world."

"It was vodka, Miss Shimmer," Principal Celestia. "I would appreciate it if you—"

Celestia paused and looked down. A small purple dog was doing something inappropriate to one of the legs of her desk.

"Whose dog is this?" she asked.

"Um, that's my dog, Spike," Twilight said, blushing. She yanked on Spike's leash. "He...I still have to have him neutered."

"Dogs are not allowed on school property," Principal Celestia said. She bent her freakishly long legs and picked Spike up off of the ground. "I'm afraid I'll have to send him to the animal shelter."

"But—!"

"You can pick him up after school," Principal Celestia said. "Now if you three will excuse me, I have important business to do."

---

"I am not a changeling, and I am not a pony!" Pinkie Pie said, for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm not an animal! I am a human being!"

Queen Chrysalis frowned. "What is a human?" she asked.

"They're creatures that walk on two legs and always wear boots," Pinkie explained. "We don't have tails or snouts, but we have fingers and toes! In my world, animals don't talk!"

Chrysalis held her hoof against Pinkie's forehead. "Hmmmm...you don't feel like you have a fever...Did you bump your head, my minion?"

"Get away from me, Bug Pony!" Pinkie said. "I'm not trusting a weird hole-leg thingy like you!"

Chrysalis snarled. "Why does everypony make a huge deal about the holes in my legs?" she asked. "It's not my fault they look this way! I just had an accident when I was getting my ears pierced!"

"The point is that I wanna go home!" Pinkie said. "I want to go back to my world, where everything is normal, and there are no magical ponies anywhere!"

"A world without magical defenses?" Queen Chrysalis asked. "Hmmm...is there a lot of love in your world?"

Pinkie frowned and went on a long rant about the nature of love. In her opinion, nobody at Canterlot High knew a single thing about love. All they knew about love came from unrealistic movies and TV shows. Why, there was one movie where a girl—let's call her "Spilight Twarkle"—bumped into a random guy three times. Poof! That meant they were "in love", and so they danced together at Prom and made out by the punch table for thirty minutes.

"And did you see that TV show, with the two-part wedding episode?" Pinkie asked. "This guy's fiancee is kidnapped and replaced with someone completely different. He cheats on her for weeks, without noticing anything is wrong! And there are no negative consequences whatsoever! His fiancee doesn't get mad at him at all when she comes back, because of true love. More like true stupidity!"

Queen Chrysalis bit her lip. That story sounded oddly familiar.

"It sounds like this 'high school' of which you speak is overrun with teenage emotions," Chrysalis said, thinking quickly. "I'm dreadfully sorry that you were accidentally imprisoned. If you want, I can take you back to your world."

"Great!" Pinkie said. Then she paused for a second. "Heeeey, you're not thinking about taking over my world and feeding on everyone's intangible emotions in some unspecified manner, are you?"

"Of course not," Chrysalis lied.

"That's a relief!" Pinkie said.

---

Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer stared at the backside of the Canterlot High statue. This was the grand, majestic portal to Equestria.

"It's a horse's butt," Twilight said bluntly.

"I think they said the portal is in the base of the statue," Sunset said.

"Yeah, right!" Twilight said. "Like I can place my hand against solid rock, and it magically turns into—WOAH!"

Twilight tried to lean against the statue's base, and she fell forward into it. Sunset Shimmer leaped forward to grab Twilight's hand, but Twilight was unexpectedly heavy. Sunset Shimmer was pulled downwards, and the two of them tumbled through the portal.

"OW! What the buck, Twi?"

"Get off me, you fat cow! I've had enough of your manure for one day!"

The two girls didn't have time to wonder why their swear words had turned into pony-related puns. They were struggling to disentangle themselves, using body parts and muscles they did not have previously. Sunset was able to back away, once she got her hoof free from one of Twilight's wings.

Sunset Shimmer looked at Twilight.

Twilight looked at her.

"It's real," Twilight said, amazed. "There really is a portal to a pony world."

"...Why are we naked now?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

It was one sentence Sunset had hoped to never say to her roommate.

Comments

[Shiro Otokonoko]

Rofl. Love it, except - I would think that Chrysalis wouldn't be dumb enough to try again, after only a year or so.

[Breaking News]

And of course Chrissy is now taking aim at the human world. Time to take actions to protect humanity. Nuke the entire school from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Two Princess Twilights, this should be interesting.

[arglefumph]

3001393 Maybe Chrysalis is overconfident? Or she wants revenge against Cadance. Either way, I don't think I explained it fully. The plan is to conquer the Crystal Kingdom, by impersonating Twilight and various crystal ponies. They won't move on to Canterlot, until the Crystal Kingdom is secure.

[nemryn]

3001480
I don't think Human Chrysalis would be very happy at someone else moving in on her turf. Even if that someone else is herself.

[scarves-n-converse]

Wait! I just discovered an error! Human and Pony Sunset Shimmer can't exist apart because they are one and the same! Sunset went through the portal after Celestia banished her! There are not two Sunset Shimmers!

If I'm completely wrong, please tell me. I just understood EQG that way. Please correct me if needed.

[nemryn]

3003281
Well, if Rarity and Fluttershy and Trixie and all the others all have human counterparts in Humanworld, presumably Sunset Shimmer and Twilight do as well. It would be kind of weird to have an alternate universe that has alternate versions of everyone except for two people.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

Ohgod, that last line.