• Published 21st Jan 2014
  • 1,617 Views, 112 Comments

Nopony Escapes Stalag 13 - DJSaltine



Burkhalter comes across an injured Applejack and brings her to Stalag 13. Twilight and her friends aren't too quick to leave another friend behind and won't leave without a fight.

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Five New Prisoners

“Hogan,” a very confused Schultz questioned, “what was that thing I saw in there?”

Hogan smirked as he neared the barracks door. “I thought you didn’t see anything in there?”

Schultz frowned. “Hogan, please, just tell me.”

Hogan leaned against the wall. “Well,” he sighed, “from what I know she traveled through space and time and is searching for her friends so she can get back home.”

Schultz chuckled and looked around. “Some joke.” He began walking back to Klink’s office, dropping the topic in annoyance. Hogan smiled and shook his head as he opened the door and entered the barracks.

The aroma of one of LeBeau’s cooking flooded Hogan’s nostrils as he shut the door behind him. Inside, Kinch was laying on his cot, reading a magazine. He immediately put his story down and got up to speak with the Colonel. “Colonel, there is something you’re going to want to see down there.”

Hogan’s eyes alighted. “There’s something YOU’D like to see out there,” he stated, his face showing both amusement and caution.

“Trust me,” Kinch said, not wanting to fight with his superior, “you’re going to want to see what we have down there.”

Hogan’s face furrowed in confusion, not sure what could be going on. He tapped the bunk; the bottom cot flew up and opened to the underground tunnels. Hogan stepped in and went down the ladder, a group of voices leading up and striking his ears. He knew the voices of Carter and Newkirk, but there was one other voice- a feminine one- that he’d never heard before.

As soon as he took his final step down, Hogan was able to see the owner of the female voice. It was a short, purple horse with a horn on the top of its head, a darker purple colored mane, and several stars on her back, similar to the place where Applejack had apples on her. Hogan was taken aback.

“Oh,” the purple unicorn gasped, noticing Hogan’s attendance. “Hello.”

Hogan stared dumbly at the odd sight. After a long moment of silence, he mustered the strength to talk back. “…Hi?”

Carter walked up beside the unicorn. “They’ve come to find a friend of theirs,” he stated normally.

Newkirk leaned on a chair nearby. He spoke up as well. “We found them out in the woods. Their friend might be taken by the krauts.”

“She was…” Hogan began pacing slowly about. He looked to the blue Pegasus. “You must be Rainbow Crash.”

She looked to him and burst out laughing. “Bwahahahaha! Oh, Applejack.”

Hogan moved on to the yellow Pegasus who was hiding behind her bangs. “You must be Flutterguy.”

She lowered her head deeper into her pink hair. Quietly, she whispered, “i-i-if you w-want to…”

Hogan again chanced course, looking to a Pink bouncy one. “Spitie Pie.”

She started giggling in hearty belly-laughs, too happy to even respond.

Hogan looked to a white unicorn. “You must be Hairity.”

She gasped. “I say!”

The purple unicorn walked forward and comforted the white one. “Oh, Rarity, I’m sure she’s just trying to keep us safe.”

“… and I suppose you’re not Twilight Snarkle,” Hogan interrupted.

She gasped. A couple snickers came from behind her from her friends. “What?” she exclaimed, her voice echoing down the corridor.

Rarity leaned closer to Twilight. “Dear Twilight, I’m sure it’s for our safety,” she stated slyly with a wink. Twilight smiled lightly.

Twilight looked back to Hogan. “Is there a way to get her out of there?”

Carter glanced to Hogan. “How about we just distract the krauts and while the guards aren’t looking, sneak her out through the tunnel?”

Newkirk brought forth his two-sense. “If we did do that, the krauts’ll find our operations and that’ll put a damper on our whole war efforts.”

“I suppose so,” Carter tilted his head in deeper thought.

Newkirk slapped his hands on the chair and stood up. “Well, while you two think up ways to put us in more danger, I’ll be up with Kinch.” He climbed up the ladder and exited the tunnel.

Hogan set his fingers on his chin. “This might take a bit of thinking…”


Burkhalter sat at Klink’s desk, the phone pressed to his ear. “I see,” he stated, his face showing annoyance. “Well, keep a close eye on her! Heil Hitler.” He slammed the phone down and looked up from the desk to a bug-eyed Klink. He sat leaned in, trying to hear everything that was going on.

“What’s the matter, sir?” Klink asked, straightening up quickly and as suave as he could.

“It seems our guest has had a misconception about us,” he leaned back in the chair, folding his arms. “She was caught kicking out a window and attempting to flee.”

Klink showed his surprise. “Why would she do that?”

“Burkhalter raised an eyebrow as he looked to Klink. “Perhaps because she’s in a prison camp.”

“Oh, but she’s not a prisoner.” Klink waved his hand at Burkhalter.

“Being with you is plenty enough,” Burkhalter muttered to himself. “I think she got a bad notion from Hogan. Something he said or did didn’t seem right to her.”

“But what does Hogan have to do with her trying to escape?”

“Perhaps she felt threatened.” He leaned farther back in the chair. “Either way, she has been transported to the cooler. I will be staying here until I can get word to Germany about my discovery.”

Klink’s eyes lightened. “Ah, then what will they do then?” In the back of his mind, he felt thankful that he could sleep in his own bed tonight.

“I don’t know,” Burkhalter’s temper seemed to waver. “They’ll probably learn as much about her world and any possible ways there and probably boil her down for glue.”

Klink’s smile faded. His face paled as thoughts flooded his mind. “Gl…glue?”

“Probably a very strong one.” Burkhalter shrugged. “Whatever the fuehrer wishes.” He leaned forward and began to inspect the paperwork. “You may leave now. Heil Hitler.”

Klink awkwardly backed up and walked out of the room. “Heil Hitler,” he stated nonchalantly. He walked outside the building, his head down, arms folded behind his back. Slowly, he raised his head, the monocle glaring off a single ray. Heart heavy with worry, he looked into the gleaming sun.

Author's Note:

Sorry about the long wait between chapters. Writer's block, depression, and lack of sleep due to work have really put me in a damper.

However, I hope this chapter brings forth joy and worry for our heroes.