The Pony Dialogues

by Knowledge

Also Sprach Ei Rikr 1.2: Pink Tightropist Dialogue (Revised)

Author: Knowledge

Editor: Rewrite

Revised (12/15/2015)
Summary of previous chapter:

The travelers wake up to a beautiful morning. They decide to go towards some smoke.

Ei Rikr flies ahead towards the source of the smoke to find a hermit named Zecora. The zebra tells our travelers that the kingdom of ponies is near. She warns that, despite the peace of ponies, the travelers should avoid them. Ei Rikr dismisses the hermits caution. Zecora offers to guide them to Ponyville that day and provide them a cure for poison joke the next.

On their trip, they encounter cragodiles and a hydra. They all fight bravely, but Ei Rikr ends the battle with a spell that saps their will to fight. Zecora loses consciousness in the process.

----------------------------------------------------Path to Ponyville-------------------------------------------------------------

Zecora awoke with a start.

"What, huh?!" Zecora uttered in shock. She found herself being carried by a changeling and a buffalo. A small filly with an abnormal coat of black and white splotches cantered behind them.

"Seems you come back to us," Ei Rikr said while buzzing zir wings rapidly in mirth. "You know if you weren't so scared, you wouldn't have been knocked out."

"What, huh?" repeated the zebra. Her disoriented face just added to the mirth that the horsefly was already exhibiting.

"You were under Ei Rikr's pacification spell, Zecora," explained Sophia. "That ball of fire earlier sucks the energy of all those nearby based on their emotions. If you are hungry it will drain you of your energy and your body will naturally try to stop this by turning off its hunger. This was why the hydras stopped attacking us. In your case, you were feelings so much fear, that you lost enough energy to faint."

Sophia's monologue flew over the disoriented Zebra’s head. Andrea came to Zecora’s side to helped her stay standing.

"That enough explaining complicated horsefly magic, thank you very much Sophia," Ei Rikr commanded. "Let the poor hermit wake up first."

"The Pacifier must have cost you a lot of power, Ei," Andrea commented. A memory of how the horsefly would cast the Pacifier multiple times in order to peacefully enter active war zones and rescue civilians caught in the middle.

"I got a few holes here and there, but I have a lot more left in me still," Ei Rikr lifted a hoof up to Zecora who saw that there was indeed some new bit-sized holes had formed.

"This is why I never tell Ei Rikr what is going on. Ze will sacrifice zirself instead of letting warriors like me do my job," Andrea whispered into the Zebras ear.

Zecora was still too delirious to respond in words, so merely pointed towards Ponyville. By the time they reached their location, she would recover.

----------------------------------Gravel Road between Ponyville and the Everfree Forest----------------------------------------

Everyone continued along the path until they reached a gravel road on the border between the forest and Equestria. Off in the distance they could see some structures.

"What are those colorful things?" Sophia asked indicating the structures.

"Those are houses," Zecora said, still speaking zebrican.

Sophia in response pulled a large book from a saddle bag Andrea was carrying called "Woolworth's encyclopedia" and beginning skimming the pages for the H section. When she found what she was looking for, she began to read aloud. "'House: a structures of walls that enclose an area meant for an individual or a family to comfortably live in. It is crafted from stone, bricks, wood, or stucco by a person.' In other words, the only difference between the cave we were in last night and a house is that some person has to make it."

Ei Rikr tapped zir chin a few times while buzzing zir wings in an expression similar to humming. "Not necessarily, Sophia. If I met a bear who called her cave her house, I would not argue with her." Turning to Zecora, ze addressed her. "How many people live in this pony village?"

"Around eight thousand ponies and a few hooffuls of mules and donkeys. Other people live here as pets or livestock," Zecroa answered. Sophia quickly went through the pages of the encyclopedia looking up those new terms.

Her refined magical control made this process particularly efficient.

If Ei Rikr could frown, ze would. Instead, ze just gave a disapproving click. So this must be one of the reasons Zecora warned me of ponies. I should give the ponies the benefit of the doubt before I rely on her judgement, the philosopher thought to zirself.

They continued their way to the pony village and could begin to see among the colorful houses, equally colorful equines. Unlike Sophia who had a salt-and-pepper coat and a horn, the ponies they could see all had one color for their coats and no horns. Self-consciously, Sophia rubbed her horn.

Zecora saw this and worried for the unicorn who had never been among her own kind.

"Young one, this is the valley, so mostly ground ponies live here. Your horned sisters live in cities on the top of that mountain," she said in effort to comfort the little filly. She pointed towards a mountain in the distance which seemed to have a palace atop its peak.

Sophia furrowed her brow and frowned. Ei Rikr was about to say something when Sophia spoke up a moment later.

"Do the unicorns live on mountains because mountains remind them of their horn? The psychologist Joy claims that there are species that relish in their own self-image and surround themselves with symbols that remind them of what makes them distinct," the filly asked curious.

Zecora took a long look at the filly before responding. She felt much more coherent now that she had regained her strength.

"I never thought of it like that. From what I have gathered over the years in proximity to these ponies, is that there is a princess of the sun for whom all the ponies have an equal measure of love and fear. This princess lives at the highest point of a mountain like a god watching her lands in case any invader would threaten her subjects. The unicorns have the privilege of being the princesses nobility and a few of them have the right to ascend to princesshood after receiving a special education exclusive to their most talented."

At the end of her explanation, the philosopher interjected something that had come to zir mind.

"'You beautiful star! Would you be as happy if you hadn't us upon whom to shine?'" ze quoted zirself.

Andrea rolled her eyes for what must have been the eighth time that morning, and Sophia merely blinked at zir parent's morning ritual saying being repurposed.

"Why do you always have to say that?" asked the traveler to whom poetry and humor had no meaning.

"Because it is always true," the horsefly replied, buzzing zir wings in an alien gesture of laughter.

Zecora would not normally interrupt an ancient, but Ei Rikr was different. "I tell you this because there is one such unicorn lives in this village. Her name is Twilight Sparkle. She was the pony who taught me this much about unicorns, and if you want to learn about them, she is the pony to talk to. I do warn you, she has the tendency to over-teach. If you like, I will bring you to her."

Sophia absorbed all of this without blinking once. "I, a unicorn myself, found the mountain we slept at last night very useful for observing the forest without being near the dangers in it, so perhaps the other unicorns are like me. I will need to observe these unicorns to see who is right, you or Joy."

"They could both be wrong," Ei Rikr commented, stroking that imaginary beard again.

"Then I will have to make a new hypothesis to test," the filly retorted.

At this point, they were getting very close to the town. Andrea suddenly stopped and removed her weaponed.

"What is wrong?" Ei Rikr asked her, changing back to the forest language.

"There is no wind," Andrea responded curtly. "It is a bad omen. We should avoid this village."

Curious, Ei Rikr and zir daughter directed their attention to their sense of the air about their body. Both discovered that they could not in fact feel any wind.

Zecora sighed loudly.

"There is no reason to be afraid. This is normal in Equestria," Zecora explained. The travelers indicated for her to continue. "For ponies, nature is an extension of their will, their magic. There is nothing mysterious to them about the world because nothing moves, grows, or acts unless a pony allowed it to happen, be it the falling of leaves or a non-equine going into hibernation. As a consequence, they never speak of invisible spirits acting behind the scenes."

"What about the Never-ending Forest?" asked Sophia.

"That is the only exception for the ponies. There in the forest, nature still works like it does for the rest of the world. The ground ponies here think the forest is full of spirits, black magic, demons, and devils. When I emerged from the forest, they called me an evil enchantress. Fortunately, they have been disabused of this ignorance regarding me by a particularly opened-minded filly. If they see you with me, they may trust you as my friends."

Sophia absorbed this completely with a deep furrow in her brow. She was so absorbed in thought that Zecora waved her hoof before her face only to get no response. The zebra gave the horsefly a worried look.

"She gets like that when she is theorizing. She could be done thinking in a few minutes or days. It is best to just let her be," Ei Rikr whispered to Zecora while buzzing by on her left side.

They finally reached the town. There was no real gate, just a yellow house and a pink house made of ticky-tacky on either side of them.

-------------------------Ponyville from a certain party pony's perspective------------------------

Pinkie Pie was playing. She was always playing. Well, except when she was at her job. Then she was working and playing.

Today, she was tight roping between two houses at the edge of town, her forehooves flailing wildly in effort to stay upright. It was all part of some joke for which she hadn't figured out the punch line quite yet. She had made it halfway between the yellow house and the pink house when she lost balanced.

"Wahhhh!"

"Humpf!" responded someone who was not Pinkie.

The party pony broke out in laughter. When she got up, she saw under her a brown, furry figure wearing some strange blanket with her Aunt Sierpinski's triangle design. If Pinke was correct, this brown furry thing was a buffalo.

Pinkie took a deep breath. The travelers became very tense.

"Welcome to Ponyville!" she shouted, causing two to sigh in relief for some reason.

Then she grabbed the buffalo by the cloven hoof and simultaneously lifted the buffalo off the ground. Then she began shaking the hoof vigorously, causing the large buffalo to wave in the air like a flag.

"My name is Pinkie Pie! What is your name? How old are you? When is your birthday How are the other buffalo at Applaloosa doing? I have not heard from them in forever." Pinkie gasp! "Have I been a bad friend? No wonder they don't write!"

Pinkie started crying hysterically. Crawling on her hind knees towards the buffalo, she begged. "Can you forgive me?"

The buffalo was completely befuddled. Pinkie did not understand why ponies got confused when she talked to them. She only spoke plain Equestrian.

Something started talking to the buffalo above her. Upon further inspection, Pinkie discovered that it wasn't a ‘something’ but a potential new friend, a black bug-friend. Bug-friend (the official name) addressed Pinkie, which was funny because she wasn't even wearing a dress.

"I am sure Courage forgives you," Ei Rikr spoke on the buffalo behalf. Pinkie found this claim of forgiveness suspicious as Courage was not laughing. "By the way, my name is Ever Ruler, the filly is Wisdom, and you may know the zebra as Zecora."

[TN: Andrea = Courage, Sophia=Wisdom, and Ei Rikr=Ever Ruler in Equestrian.]

"Of course I know Zecora. We are best friends," Pinkie replied. A particular zebra disliked this statement, but kept it to herself.

Zecora and Ever Rulr spoke what sounded like gibberish to one another. Pinkie felt it must be some game involving who can say the most gibberish at once and decided to join in by stringing random syllables together faster and louder than they were talking.

The horsefly went to the filly to cover her ears from whatever Pinkie had said while the buffalo hid a smile behind her hoof. Yes, one down, three to go, Pinkie thought to herself.

"Did I win?" Pinkie asked.

"No, you were quite rude,

when you spoke so crude." Zecora responded in her accented Equestrian.

Pinkie frowned. "How do I win?"

"You don't win in talking,

and much less from mocking," Pinkie's friend retorted.

Ever Ruler (formerly known as Bug-friend) decided to interject at this point.

"You can win by understanding."

Pinkie blinked.

The other travelers spoke more gibberish to Ever, but ze ignored them.

"The game we are playing is understanding. Not everyone starts with the same understanding, so it is not a fair game," the bug-pony explained.

"Then how do I win?" Pinkie asked. She didn't care as much about winning as Rainbow Dash, but she preferred games to be fair.

"Anyone and everyone can win if they are patient and hard-working. The only losers are those who give up," Ever continued. "Does this sound like a game you want to play, um..."

"Pinkie Pie," the pony offered. "And yes! I love new games."

------------------------Ponyville from the Traveler's perspective----------------------------------

Ei Rikr focused all zir attention of zir first new student since arriving in Equestria.

"If Pinkie is your average pony, I have my work cut out for me," the philosopher said in an aside to Zebra.

"Pinkie is in no way, shape, or form a normal pony," Zecora corrected. "She is rather the extreme of every fault ponykind has. She is always having fun to the point that her fun causes everyone around her suffering."

It was clearly a biased opinion and Ei Rikr could sense that these two had a history of misunderstanding. This evoked a click of frustration from the philosopher's mouth.

"Pinkie is still a thinking being, Zecora. The philosopher's life asks us to think about the consequences of our actions, particularly consequences that affect the happiness of others. I do you really think Pinkie, who seems to love making people happy, would not embrace the philosopher's life?" horsefly asked rhetorically.

Ignoring the Zebra's disbelief, Ei Rikr led the pink pony to the buffalo she had recently fell upon.

Switching back to Equestrian, Ei Rikr addressed Pinkie. "In the game of understanding, we ask questions. Is there a question you ought to ask Courage?"

Pinkie started spouting an endless stream of random questions.

Ei Rikr waited for Pinkie to stop.

"Am I doing it right?" She asked innocently.

"In the game of understanding, you cannot just ask questions. The question is a tool to learn more from another person. Understanding comes from asking good questions and paying attention to how people respond to them."

Pinkie was about to talk, but Ei Rikr gestured for her to wait.

"Perhaps we should let Courage ask the first question that way you get a good example," the philosopher encouraged.

Pinkie tried to talk again, and Ei Rikr again signaled her to stop. Zecora was very much tempted to just stuff her hoof in the pony's mouth, but such violence was beneath her.

"It is part of the understanding game that you don't talk when it is the other person's turn," ze explained.

Switching to the common language used by most people of the forest, Ei Rikr addressed zir friend Andrea.

"I am teach this pony the basics of getting to know new people. I want you to ask her a question," ze requested.

"You can't make me do this," Andrea replied. She hated when the philosopher simplified things to this degree. It was like ze saw them all as mere children. She had to admit though that if she was more than a thousand years old, it would be difficult not to think act this way.

"If you don't do this for the pony, do it for me," Ei Rikr pled. Andrea was about to shut philosopher down when Ei Rikr slowly flapped zir wings up and down. The expression which would have been alien to anyone unfamiliar with horsefly body expressions conveyed the perfect amount of pouting that the buffalo's cold hard resolved melted.

"I am only doing this because I still owe you for saving me and my people," Andrea said coldly. This prompted the horsefly to make a victory pose. "After this, I have some manticores to show whose boss."

At this point, Zecora left. This was one part having business to do in town with her potions, one part not being able to stand Pinkie Pie for prolonged periods of time, and one part the pain of seeing a wise and ancient horsefly act like a clown. How the mighty have fallen, Zecora thought to herself. If the horseflies of my land could see how you have changed Ei Rikr since your glory days.

Meanwhile, Andrea had formulated a question.

"I would like to know what she thinks of the forest," Andrea said.

Ei Rikr translated this to Pinkie.

"The Everfree Forest?! That place is spooky, not that Pinkie is afraid or anything. You just need to laugh at scary things, and you will realize they are not as scary as before."

"Laughing at the face of danger," Andrea commented. "I can get behind that."

It was now Pinkie's turn. She was more than excited to start asking questions. What stopped her from outright asking one was because she had too many on her mind. With some help from Ei Rikr, she finally picked one.

"How are Chief Thunderhooves and Little Strongheart doing?" Pinkie asked blinking.

"Just because I am a buffalo, doesn't mean I know them. It is impossible to know everyone in ones own species," Andrea said. She would have been offended if this was not a common misconception among people of all cultures.

"That is not true, for Pinkie knows everypony!" she retorted with conviction.

Andrea addressed the translator.

"Is that what she really said?"

Ei Rikr nodded.

"Ask her if she thinks she knows Sophia."

Pinkie gasped after Ei Rikr conveyed the question. Rushing to the salt-and-pepper filly, Pinkie began introducing herself.

"Hello my name is Pinkie, and I am here to make you hap-hap-happy!" she half-greeted, half-cheered.

Sophia only responded by shifting away from the pony entering her personal space. She was still entranced by the topic of unicorns in Equestrian society, so she didn't spare Andrea and Pinkie's conversation any mind.

Pinkie suddenly pulled out a wagon out from behind her. Confetti erupted from it while a freshly baked and decorated cake emerged from its confines. The non-entranced travelers gawked and the party pony placed a party hat on the little filly.

"Now I know everypony," Pinkie Pie declared, mirroring Ei Rikr's victory pose from earlier.

Regaining zir composure, the philosopher spoke up.

"I don't think that counts as knowing someone," Ei Rikr doubted.

"You are right! I still need to know Wisdom's birthday," she exclaimed.

"I am sure my daughter would...um...appreciate an exchange with another pony. You would be the first pony she has ever encountered in her conscious life," Ei Rikr divulged.

"Nopony is more pony than Pinkie Pie. Well, except for maybe the princesses, but that is because they are like three times the pony," the party pony reasoned.

"Y-yes," the horsefly stammered. "We are almost done with this session of our game of understanding. We have places to go and ponies to meet. I will let you ask Courage one more question, and then she has to leave for business in the Everfree."

"One last question? But we just started playing, right?" Pinkie asked.

"Is that your question?" Ei Rikr jested.

"No, no, no. I have a better question!"

Ei Rikr waited for Pinkie to divulge this better question, but it never came.

"Would you like to share this question with us, so we can finish this game?" the horsefly inquired.

"Nope!"

Ei Rikr focused zir senses at the pony before zir. "Why?"

"Because if I ask the question, the game will end. I don't think this game would be fun if I just try to finish understanding right away," Pinkie said in a cheerful tone.

If Ei Rikr smiled, ze would. Alas chitin does not allow for that, and ze had lost the ability to transform when zir eyesight was lost to the blue flower. Instead Ei emoted through zir wings in cheerful buzzing.

"Ahh, what a wonderful understanding you demonstrated, young pony. I will cherish this conversion for a long time," Ei Rikr proclaimed loudly, waking the ponies sleeping in at the houses on either side of zir. Those ponies went back to asleep quickly, used to Pinkie's antics early in the morning. "Regardless, Courage has to go, so your last question has become forfeit due your attempt to be clever."

"Thanks for your help. I will see you in a few hours," the horsefly reminded the buffalo. "I will be searching for Zecora in the marketplace and then try to meet this Twilight Sparkle."

"Perhaps you should focus on finding a place to stay. The mayor or whatever that have here will probably have the paper work for immigrating here and setting up shop," Andrea advised. She handed Ei Rikr Sophia's saddlebags.

Andrea puffed at the long-winded plan. "I understand, now go." Before she left, Andrea handed the pack of books for Ei Rikr to carry.

"You know I cannot buzz around anymore with these books on my back," Ei Rikr complained.

"I know," was all Andrea said in response and then she returned to the forest to deal with the growing tensions between her rule and the manticores.

Pinkie waved goodbye to her new acquaintance, saying that she wants to finish their game next time they meet.

"Pinkie would you be so kind as to direct me to the marketplace. I would like to say something to Zecora before she also leaves for the forest," Ei Rikr requested politely.

"Okie-dokie-lokie artichokie," Pinkie replied. As she said this, the pony made a salute before breaking over in laughter at the whole silliness of herself.

Picking up zir daughter, the philosopher followed the party pony into town square where ponies were just beginning their breakfasts.

Author's Note:

Trivia:

I began this arc with only a vague remembrance of Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra, but I did make sure to look at the original work when considering which character would be who. Of course, Pinkie is the tightrope walker, but it is important to note that she didn't die in my story but rather landed on Andrea.

I picked Pinkie to be the first pony Ei Rikr met because I could have her interact with a changeling without freaking out.

The psychologist Joy is based off Freud, whose name means joy or pleasure.

The ticky-tacky houses is a reference to Little Boxes.

Comments

[Cakebomb]

As a consequence, they never speak of invisible spirits acting behind the scenes."

At least they got one part right, I guess?