Falling Apart
Rainbow Dash was worried. She had been flying home earlier today when she saw Fluttershy running from Sweet Apple Acres. The tears running from her eyes worried her even more. What in Equestria had her worked up? Rainbow Dash realized that she was sometimes hard on the gentle pegasus she had known since foalhood, but never to the point of tears. Sure, they had not seen eye to eye all the time, but Fluttershy always seemed to be there. Whenever the cyan pegasus needed a shoulder to cry on, or somepony to give her the support that she needed, Fluttershy was there. She had never asked the pastel pony to do any of that for her; Fluttershy had done that out of the kindness of her heart. She was all that Dash needed in a pony.
The cyan pegasus watched as her friend ran until she was out of sight. Her curiosity peaked, Rainbow flew down to Sweet Apple Acres to find out what had sent Fluttershy running. As she got closer, she saw Applejack bucking a few apple trees in the fields. Rainbow Dash flew down, figuring that Applejack would know the reason on why the gentle mare had gone running. As she landed, the orange pony greeted her.
"Howdy, Rainbow, what can Ah do for ya?" the earth pony asked. She was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, like something had just ruined her appetite. Although Rainbow was curious about what aggravated Applejack, she was more worried about Fluttershy. Taking a deep breath, the pegasus spoke.
"Well, I was just flying over the town when I saw Fluttershy running away from the farm. I was just wondering if you had any idea on what would cause her to do that. Did you find a dead animal or something?" Rainbow Dash asked. As she finished, Applejack had dropped the smile. She now had a deadpan expression and was clearly not pleased to have whatever had happened between the two.
"That mare jus' ain't right. She came her talkin' to me bout her likin' me in some romantic manner. Ya know it ain't natural for two mares or stallions to be in a relationship. It’s just wrong," the orange pony stated with that same deadpanned expression. Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. She could not believe that the pony she had known for years thought that way. Not to mention saying something so cruel to one the sweetest ponies in Ponyvile. Rainbow Dash turned away to quickly compose herself, shaking her head as she tried and get rid of the thoughts that raced through her mind. She quickly turned back to Applejack, staring her down.
“AJ, you’ve got to be kidding me with this! Fluttershy is a sweet pony. Sure, she might like other mares, but there is nothing wrong with that!” Rainbow Dash stated while trying to keep her anger down. Surely the orange earth pony must be joking about this. But Applejack did not look like she was telling a joke, if anything she seemed even more steadfast about it.
“Rainbow, somethin’ is wrong with that mare! It don’t matter what she’s done if she’s gone ‘round trickin’ everypony into trustin’ her, just so she can corrupt our minds!” Applejack said, looking Rainbow Dash straight in the eye, the conviction set on her face. Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped at this. Fluttershy, innocent, sweet Fluttershy, trying to corrupt anypony was an outlandish idea. Rainbow Dash found the whole idea so crazy that she would of laughed, thinking that it was a prank, if it wasn’t for the look in Applejack’s eyes. It was a look of certainty, one that dare Rainbow Dash to challenge her.
“AJ, seriously? Fluttershy, the pony who hasn’t got an evil bone in her body, trying to corrupt us all? You’ve got to be kidding me about this!” The cyan pegasus stated her total disbelief to the mare in front of her. Applejack just shook her head, tutting, before she looked up at Rainbow Dash with the one emotion that she was not prepared for.
Pity. Rainbow had expected anger, sadness, relief. Anything but pity. This made Rainbow Dash tilt her head to the side, wondering why in Equestria the farm pony was pitying her.
“It seems like that monster has tricked you too. Ah’m not surprised, considerin’ yew and her have known each other for so long. But don’t worry Sugarcube. I took care of that disgusting beast. I told her how wrong she was, how she would be better off dead then destroyin’ the land we live in with her unnatural thoughts. Don’t ya worry Rainbow Dash. Ah’ll set yer head right once again.” Applejack said while looking Rainbow strait in the eye, her arrogance making Rainbow Dash shake with rage. Of all the insensitive things that could be said to Fluttershy, this one topped the cake.
“Applejack, how could you treat your friend like that, after all she’s done for all of us? How could you be so heartless?” Rainbow Dash asked the earth pony, confused and angered by what she had just heard.
“She ain’t our friend Rainbow, she’s a sick monst--” But Rainbow Dash had heard enough. She whipped around and bucked the orange earth pony with all her might, her anger fueled by the words being said about her longest friend. The kick caught Applejack right in the jaw, knocking her onto her haunches, and dazing her for a few moments. She quickly got back onto her hooves and lunged at the cyan pegasus, knocking them both to the ground. They rolled around, throwing jabs at any opportunity to land a hit against the other mare. After a few moments Applejack wound up on the bottom and bucked Rainbow Dash straight into the air, where she hovered for a few moments. After wiping some blood off her face, the orange earth pony spat at the pegasus.
“Ah just don’t understand why in Equestria you’re defending that fillyfooler. She ain’t nothin’ but a sin against the world we live in,” Applejack said between ragged breaths. Rainbow Dash just glared down at the earth pony below her. Rainbow Dash was starting to feel the aches of the tussle already setting in, her back hurting from all the rolling the two mares had done. Deciding it wasn’t worth the time to fight with the orange mare anymore, Rainbow flew to her cloud home, leaving a beaten up and angry earth pony behind, cusses being shouted behind her. When she reached her home, she slowly retreated to her bedroom, collapsing into her bed. She fell asleep quickly, but it was not to last, because a few hours later, she woke up after dreaming about her fight with Applejack, how the two had fought after she had thought that they were some of the best of friends.
Rainbow Dash froze, as she remembered the pegasus that the fight had been about. Suddenly, she took off, deciding to check on Fluttershy. As she flew the more she thought about the gentle pony. If Fluttershy had such a problem with simple statements, Rainbow Dash couldn’t imagine how the pastel pony would react to having her heart broken in such a cruel manner. This worried the cyan pegasus even more, causing her to pick up more and more speed.
She quickly reached the pegasus’ house. As she landed, she looked through Fluttershy’s windows, hoping to see her. Rainbow Dash saw the mare, but she had a rope around her neck. To the cyan mare’s horror, Fluttershy stopped flying, letting her body fall to the ground, the noose applying pressure to the mare’s neck. This caused the weatherpony outside to stop, the pure shock of what her friend was doing rendering her body incapable of moving. Eventually Rainbow Dash realized what exactly was happening, causing her to spring into action.
Rainbow Dash crashed through the door, flying straight for Fluttershy’s now limp body. She grabbed the unconscious mare, taking the noose off as she flew. She began to panic, trying to figure out what she could do to save her friend. She checked her pulse, and found a shallow heart beat, a sign that her friend was still alive, if barely. She gently shook the mare in her hooves, calling Fluttershy’s name with tears in her eyes, but there was no response. Rainbow Dash’s panic rose. She hit Fluttershy on the cheek, seeing if that might shock her awake, but no such luck. On the verge of a mental breakdown, the cyan pegasus picked up Fluttershy’s limp body and left the cottage. She flew to the hospital. As soon as Rainbow reached the hospital, and she flew down to the entrance, crashing through the door, tears in her eyes.
“Please, somepony, help her! PLEASE!” Rainbow Dash shouted, tears streaming down her face, as she looked around the waiting room frantically. She collapsed to the floor, shouting for help. The doctors glared at the pony who had disrupted the peace of the waiting room, until they saw the injured pony on her back. The hospital staff jumped into action, immediately rushing to Fluttershy’s aid, taking her from the cyan pegasus’s care. Once Fluttershy was wheeled away on a gurney, Rainbow Dash broke down on the spot, her body shaking as she cried. Her friend had looked so lifeless as she was raised onto the gurney that it hurt.
Eventually the staff managed to console the panicked pegasus. After a few moments of being calmed, the staff talked to Rainbow Dash, trying to figure out what caused her to bring her friend to the hospital in the first place. When they found out what Rainbow Dash had seen, the staff surprised to discover that a pony that was known for her respect towards all things living, would try and take her own life. After a few hours in the waiting room, a doctor came and told Rainbow Dash that she could see her friend, but that she would not be conscious for some time, as Fluttershy had suffered some damage to her neck from the suicide attempt. Rainbow Dash silently nodded, and followed the doctor to Fluttershy’s room.
As she walked in, she noticed how lifeless the pastel pony looked. In reality, she looked more like a doll than a living pony. Rainbow Dash slowly crossed the room, taking a seat beside the pony in the hospital bed. Her exhaustion slowly took over though, and she fell asleep in the chair by her friend, whispering three words before she fell asleep. “ Why Fluttershy? Why?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.072 seconds
Total duration
988 users online
2,650,006 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Applejack needs more repeating kicks in the face.
18401
QFT (Quoted for Truth.)
This intrigues me.
.......really? I would get that applejack would find fluttershy being a lesbian unnatural and wrong but SAYING THAT FLUTTERSHY WAS TRYING TO CORRUPT HER!?!? Applejack would atleast have Tried to put it gently or have some other feelings other than disgust! Applejack is probably one of the most supportive of the mane six! And you make her out to be....Uggh!!!! Please....rewrite Applejacks dialogue....she wouldn't be cussing at rainbow as she flew away and.....I'm out of here.....
18422
Flip the desk, walk out of the room.
I personally think it's an interesting line of thought, hopefully the author will explore exactly why Applejack feels that way.
Let's see you write something and publish it and then we'll see what has to be said.
Savvy?
18422
while i do agree that it does seem a bit harsh, it is a nice contrast to the 'perfect' world of equestria, to see that sometimes they have just as many problems as humans do, altho i do agree, i would appreciate it if it was toned down a bit
18422
I think it's quite believable that Applejack would respond in such cruel manner if she despises homosexuality as much as some individuals in reality do. It does not matter the time span a friendship has lasted, or the tranquility of the moment. If one hates homosexuality, it is safe to assume that their reaction to a love confession from a close friend would end in extreme negative responses.
Hey yall, sorry it took me so long to reply about this whole AJ reaction. The fact of the matter is I felt that AJ would react this way if it was the way she was raised. She's stubborn enough that if somepony came and questioned her ideals, she would begin to get aggressive. If you notice in the first chapter, she does not start pissed off, or even angry. Rainbow Dash shows up after Fluttershy and then begins to question everything. As for the cussing part, she was just in a fight and her opponent ran away in a manner she couldn't catch up. Of course she's gonna start doing something, and I felt that cussing is an appropriate response. So any other questions to my logic?
It's not that part that have a problem with. It's the fact that it seems like Aj is just purly aggressive and insensitive to Futtershys feelings. I don't know, it just seens like she would be feeling more conflicted over finding that out about Fluttershy. Not just purely "Get away you freak!" if you develop more into AJ and have a nice big morality discussion later on, I'll be fine with it. But from what I'm seeing, your making AJ the unchanged bad guy. So if your doing that, then please take my first comment personally. (no One messes with my forvorite pony!
) if your planning on a great heartfelt story involving love, forgiveness, pie, and a lot of friendship...sorry for raging...I'll shut up now and continue reading....
18582
Basically this is a things get better story, it's just that for things to get better, they need to be bad, and I might have went a little extreme with where I put their reactions, but I'm gonna stand by it.
18633
I completely agree. I feel like a dick for the fact that in the first chapter of both my stories, I've made Fluttershy cry.
And as always feel free to message me with anyone who would like to be a pre-reader. Oh, and feel free to message me cause you love me or hate me, I'm fine with chatting with just about anyone.
I've looked over this, and this seems like it has the potential to become a great story. I'll be sending a more detailed PM of things to go over, since it's late, and I need to go to sleep.
So yeah, expect a message soon :D
Great concept, and you're carrying it out perfectly.
I can't help you right now, because I can't think of anything you would need. Keep on writing, champ!
However...
If you make Fluttershy cry one more time, I will high-five you.
In the face.
With a mallet.
Hard.
Repeatedly.
FOREVER.
Other than that, good job!
29417
Ummmmmmmm. ouch?
but I kinda need to have Fluttershy cry more for plot movement...........
It makes me sad too, just I can't help if it makes the plot move
“It seems like that monster has tricked you too. Ah’m not surprised, considerin’ yew and her have known each other for so long. But don’t worry Sugarcube. I took care of that disgusting beast
.... yeah, luckily for you i have an open mind but i still have a border and you put your pinky toe on that border my friend. i shall continue reading
18557 yes just a tad, of course applejack is stubborn but even in the anime and all of the fan fics iv read shes only stubborn towards work and proving herself, and always someone to help another friend
and I've been in enough fights to understand the anger but usually all of the anger being released through pain and energy loss makes most of it go away and just makes you want to just be quiet and some of those fights led to my best friends that i have today , fighting is the most brutal way to get rid of tension as one of my closest friends i broke his glasses and hurt him, he hurt me mentally and physically. now we are great friends.
Hoo boy, this rewrite.
This rewrite.
I'm not sure what to say.
I know I now want to reach into my computer and strangle Applejack.
But still, this rewrite. Wow.
Keep going.
18401 I am one to agree
18557 actually, the way you wrote it, it's more like as soon as AJ realizes that shes serious, she just pours on the hate. I used to want to go to Equestria for ponies. Now I want to go murder Applejack.
I am going t buck the buck out of
if she ever does anything mean to Fluttershy (Best Pony)
I am not a fan of Bigot-Jack... But, your writing is good, and the premise of the story is swell enough as these things go. Even if I don't like it I'll give you a 4.5 at least. However, I'll continue reading for now; I must form a proper opinion of this.
i cant really see AJ as being so insensative like that. it defeats her personaility. sure she is stubborn
but to go that far? it makes AJ like the bad guy. on the other hand. its a good story. 4.5 stars for you 
18456Here let me help you flip that desk!
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxt5a1FuLX1qjbhq0.gif
shit story, kthxbai
AJ is being stupidly OOC like holy damn. This entire flipping show is about love and tolerance, there's no way AJ would just turn on her friend like that. Even if she thought Fluttershy was being "unnatural", her first instinct would be to attempt to "fix" her friend's "problem", which could have easily broken her heart the same way without making AJ into an asshole.
Fluttershy would not be anywhere close to "almost dead" moments after losing consciousness. Hanging usually kills someone by collapsing the airway, which isn't going to happen while a pegasus has control of their wings. Maybe by binding her wings she could have gotten this to work, but even then she would have at least 5 minutes worth of oxygen in her blood, or possibly more. The instant Rainbow Dash took off the noose, she would instinctively attempt to breath again and likely regain consciousness almost immediately, since she was only unconscious for a few seconds. Oddly, the hospital staff did get the "trauma to the neck" part correct, but that wouldn't keep her in a coma, it'd just immobilize her.
Honesty, always an element needed for
fisthoof fights.195351
I'll bring the popcorn, that we'll put on the table.
Applejack is RIDICULOUSLY out of character here. Even is she's against same sex couples, she's not cruel. She absolutely would NOT call Fluttershy a freak and a "sin on this world." She wouldn't bear an Element of Harmony if she would immediately consider one of her best friends an abomination just because she liked girls.
The rest of the story is pretty interesting so far, but I'm almost entirely unwilling to continue reading it if Applejack is going to be butchered this badly.
I thought AJ was best pony
Nope Aj in this story is a B**CH!
How dare you hurt fluttershys feelings and call her that.. HOW DARE YOU!