• Published 10th Jul 2013
  • 1,842 Views, 34 Comments

Bizet Carmen - a Ponyville Production (or the Philomena Fantasy) - Planetarian

An opera, where ponies in Ponyville find themselves with the prima donna that is a phoenix... who had somehow tempted the heart of Fluttershy!

  • ...

Acte I - Habanera

A phoenix was perched over a tree that overlooked Ponyville Elementary school.

She had been looking at the students for time time, all by her lonesome. How was it that she didn't get any attention was a mystery.

It cried forth happily. She was in her elements, and all the world's a stage.

The phoenix left its position, as it took aim at a windowpane. It landed without trouble, and it entered the school through the open window unopposed.

The laughter of schoolfillies filled the air. It was a fine day at Ponyville.

(Cue Prelude)

The Elements were loitering about Medley's Music Emporium, since they've nothing better to do for the morning. This was par the course because there was not much to do for the time being.

"Ponies sure are funny to look at sometimes." Bluenote casually noted.

Medley was a bit indifferent. "Yeah yeah, and all we're going to do is to simply laugh and gossip, huh? That and look at the passerby... what a waste..."

Bluenote bemoaned having to wake up earlier than she would have liked. "I could have had more time with Miss bed..."

Octavia didn't quite enjoy the idea of idling either. "I really should return to doing more arpeggios..."

Vinyl was quite keen to agree with the Cellist. "I don't even know why we're just standing around and waiting for Fluttershy to get her things done. Shouldn't we just do something? Anything?

Lyra looked lazily at Medley's instruments. "I am not sure about playing them... I haven't the mood to really play..."

The group looked out at each other, only to conclude that they should wait for their missing member some more while watching the world go past them.

Funny ponies. Funny ponies everywhere. Ponies were all around them, so watching the ponies make sense.

Ditsy Doo was making her round of mails, Raindrops whizzed by without care, Wild Fire was explosive... all the little things came to the view of the Element bearers while they sat on their haunches right at Medley's music store.


À la porte du Musique Emporium.
At the door of the Music Emporium
Pour tuer le temps,
To kill the time,
On rit, on jase,
One laughs, one gossips,
L'on regarde passer les passants.
One looks at the passers-by passing.

Sur la place, chacun passe, etc.
On the square, everyone passes, etc.
Drôles de poneys que ces poneys-là!
Funny ponies - those ponies there !
Drôles de poneys que ces poneys-là!
Funny ponies - those ponies there !

The owner of the music store noticed an approaching rabbit. "O look! It's that Angel Bunny! Wonder what he's doing here? Guy's cute but he's got a mean streak about him..."

Angel Bunny had a reputation of being rather disobedient to Fluttershy, although he was quite protective of his caretaker.

Octavia was a bit surprised to hear about that. "Really? I've not really the chance to talk to him..."

Lyra was more concerned of the rabbit's presence. "It isn't like him to pop up like this! Let's go and talk to him!"

Medley sighed a bit. "Well, we got nothing better to do, so let's go find out exactly what he wants."

The group of five (one absent) went to greet the white rabbit with beady eyes.

MEDLEY (seeing Angel Bunny entering)
Regardez donc cette petite
Look, then, at that little one
Qui semble vouloir nous parler...
Who seems to want to speak to us...
Voyez, voyez! il tourne, il hesite.
Look, look! he turns, he hesitates...

À son secour il faut aller!
To his help, we need to go!


It was clear as day that the rabbit was looking for someone in a hurry.

Medley decided to cut straight to the chase. "Alright little guy, what do you want?"

Angel Bunny gestured that he's looking for a pegasus.

"Well, you're looking at one." Medley stated the obvious.

Angel gave a look of disapproval. It was somewhat uncomfortable to have a rabbit giving a pony 'the eye'.

"Fluttershy... we know her all right. What do you take us for?"

The artisan went on. "Tough luck there. She won't be back until the morning vendors have switched over with the afternoon vendors." The mare's one for straight talks.

Que cherchez-vous, la belle?
What are you searching for, lovely one?

Moi, je cherche un Pégase.
Me, I am searching for a Pegasus.

Je suis là! Voilà !
I am here ! Right here!

Mon Pégase à moi s'appelle Fluttershy
My Pegasus to me is called Fluttershy.
le connaissez-vous?
Do you know her?

Fluttershy? Nous le connaissons tous.
Fluttershy? We know her- all (of us).

Vraiment? Est-elle avec vous, je vous prie?
Really? Is she with you, I beg of you?

Le Pégase n'est pas ici maintenant
The Pegasus is not here right now

Alors, elle n'est pas là.
So then, she isn't here.

Non, ma charmante, elle n'est pas là.
No my charming one, she isn't here.
Mais toute à l'heure, elle y sera.
But right away, she will be here.
Elle y sera quand les vendeurs d'après-midi
She will be here when the afternoon vendors
remplacera les vendeurs de la matinée
Replaces the morning vendors.

Elle y sera quand les vendeurs d'après-midi, etc
She will be here when the afternoon vendors, etc

The mint-green unicorn looked at the white rabbit. "You can just wait around with us... "

The bunny shook its head violently, and it really hadn't the intention of wasting time with a bunch of ponies that had nothing better to do but to sit about and let their life tick down on them.

The unicorn may have backed down, but Bluenote decided to give it a shot. "O jeez little guy, not like we're going to make for of you or anything. You're safe with us.

The rabbit gave a condescending look, and refused to entertain the idea. He wasn't about to stand around and waste his time to wait on his owner.

Mais en attendant qu'elle vienne
But, while waiting until she comes
Voulez-vous, la fâché enfant,
Would you like, my angry child,
Voulez-vous prendre la peine
Would you take the trouble
D'entre chez nous un instant?
To join us for a moment?

Chez vous?
Join you?

Chez nous!
Join us!

Non pas! Non pas! Grand merci, madames les Elements!
No, No! A big thank you, Elements, madams!

Entrez sans crainte, mignonne,
Enter without fear, my cute one,
Je vous promets, qu'on aura
I promise you, that we will have
pour votre chère personne,
For your dear self,
Tout les égards qu'il faudra.
All the respect which is required.

Je n'en doute pas; cependant, je reviendrai,
I don't doubt it, nevertheless, I will come back.
C'est plus prudent.
It's more prudent.
Je reviendrai quand les vendeurs d'après-midi
I will come back when the afternoon vendors
Remplacera les vendeurs de la matinée
Replaces the morning vendors.

Il faut rester car les vendeurs d'après-midi
You must stay, because the afternoon vendors
Va remplacera les vendeurs de la matinée
is going to replace the morning vendors.

This impasse had robbed the store owner of her already limited patience. Medley felt like putting her hoof down at that situation. "You will stay and wait for Fluttershy." The others muttered in agreement with Medley.

The rabbit would have none of it. He brushed the Elements off as he jotted away.

Lyra was slightly dejected, but she had decided to not dwell on the subject matter for too long. "Let us return to doing nothing for the time being...."

Medley dryly responded to Lyra. "I don't want to think of staring out of the store and looking at passerby as a past-time of mine..."

Vou resterez!
You will stay!

Non pas! Non pas!
No! No!
Au revoir, madames les Elements!
Good bye, Elements, madams' !

L'oiseau s'envole... On s'en console.
The bird flies away...we will console ourselves.
Reprenons notre passetemps
Let us resume our pastime
et regardait passer les poneys.
And let us watch the ponies pass by.

Sur la place, chacun passe, etc.
On the square, everyone passes, etc.


The troop of three fillies filed by playfully.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders (a name that lived in infamy in Ponyville) were once again, deep in crusading mode. The trio cut a wrath of destruction across town, as they marched somehow, while singing together.

Sweetie Belle, Rarity's younger sister, clearly had a talent as a singer. It was peculiar why that the unicorn didn't pay much heed to this obvious trait about her...

Apple Bloom also sang well, as did the tomboyish Scootaloo. The three of them had a good sense of rhythm, even if they were not known for their musical abilities in any way.

The Elements watched at the three sang happily in the sun. It was a splendidly choreographed piece, filled with bravado.


Sans la marque de cutie, nous arrivons, nous voilà!
Without the cutie mark, we arrive; here we are!
Sonne trompette éclatante! Ta ra ta ta ta ra ta ta.
Sound, dazzling trumpet! Ta ra ta ta ta ra ta ta.
Nous marchons la tête haute comme des petits croisés,
We march, heads high, like little crusaders,
Marquant, sans faire de faute,
Marking, without making a mistake,
une, deux, marquant le pas.
One, two, marking the step.
Les épaules en arrière et la poitrine en dehors,
The shoulders back and the chest out,
Les jambes de cette manière
The legs in this manner
Tombant tout le long du corps.
Falling right along the body.
Sans la marque de cutie, etc.
Without the cutie marks, etc.

It was a performance worth giving an applause over.

The three fillies received their approval with a standing ovation from the five mares, and they blushed heavily at the acclamation.

They bowed out unceremoniously after that.


Fluttershy had returned from the morning vendor (because she had volunteered to help Applejack for the day.) The girl reconvened with her fellow elements, just after the Crusaders' procession came to an end.

"Hi girls." Fluttershy said meekly. "Did I miss anything?"

Octavia decided to fill the buttermilk pegasus in.

"Your furious little rabbit was asking for you."

He could've tore eyes out if he had wanted to do that... Medley left this part unsaid.

"Oh! Angel Bunny! Whatever for..." The pegasus looked puzzled.

"On a totally unrelated note," Octavia decided to ask, "how's the wildlife here? Are birds aggressive?"

Fluttershy had to pause for a second. "It's not something that I do think about... not much. The animals are really friendly to me! I've never really been in any danger... except for the dragons, they can eat you in one bite...

An idea came over the pegasus. "Why not go to the school! There's a pet show-and-tell going on today..."


The rest of the crew found their way to Ponyville's only elementary school, where the fillies were having fun, with classes done for the day. Fluttershy did not join them.

The girls saw how that these fillies and colts were playing around with pets. There's a cat, a dog, and a turtle... but the most peculiar of them all would be that of a Phoenix...

"That's a Phoenix, I've seen it before..."

Octavia spelled out the strange bird to her friends, for their benefit.

"Really?! That's kinda cool..." Vinyl Scratch leaned a foreleg against her face while studying the Phoenix before her.

"What's the name?"

"Don't know. The fillies might know. Let's listen in..." Bluenote made the suggestion while looking intensely at the game that the little ponies were playing with.

The fillies and colts were bouncing about as they tried to see who can get the highest (a valid game as most of them were Earth Ponies. Scootaloo cannot fly at any rate.) These schoolfillies were in high spirits, while their pets partook the fun with them. It was a playful scene to behold.


(First chorus, colts at school)
La cloche a sonné, nous des élèves,
The bell has rung, we, the students,
Nous venons ici guetter le retour;
We come here to surver the return,
Et nous vous suivrons, jeunes élèves
And we will follow you, young students,
en vous murmurant des propos d'plaisir,
While murmuring to you proposals of fun.
Regardez-les! Regards impudents,
Look at them! Impudent glances,
Mine coquette! jouer toutes
Flirtatious looks! All playing,
Du bout des dents, la bonbon.
At the end of their teeth, a candy.

(Second chorus, Crusaders)

Par terre; nous suivons des yeux la jeu,
On the ground, we follow with our eyes the game,
Qui vers les cieux monte, monte, coloré.
Which towards the sky, mounts, colorful.
Cela monte gentiment à la tête, tout doucement,
It climbs gently to one's head, sweetly
Cela vous mets l'âme en fête!
It puts your soul on holiday!
Le doux parler, le doux parler des amis,
The sweet talk, the sweet talk of friends,
leurs transports et leurs serments,
their gushing and their vows,
C'est jeu, c'est jeu.
it's the game, it's the game
Par terre, etc.
On the ground, etc.
La jeu qui monte en tournant vers les cieux,
The game which mounts and turns towards the sky,
La jeu!
The game!


Without warning, a Phoenix that was bright red with flashes of ember had appeared, and it parted the sea of animals and ponies around it.

The Element Bearers were all in for a shock... the bird's wings looked as if they were made of flames.

The Phoenix called Philomena was full of sass. It practically danced around the pets and ponies next to it. There's a heavy tint of playfulness about it too. Overall, it's quite the character to behold.

She was quite mesmerizing. The walking gait alone demanded the full attention of the room, and its wings might as well as to have been that of a fiery red dress, or that of crimson fans. This was a Prima Donna, and one with allures that can almost be called sensual in observation.

"I wonder if Philomena will let us pet her!"

"Me too! I am actually a bit scared to ask her about that..."

The crusader fillies exchanged these words as they gazed at the burning torch of life before them.

Mais, nous ne voyons pas la Philocité!
But, we don't see little Philomena!
La voila! Voilà la Philocité!
There she is! There's Philomena!
Philocité! Sur tes pas nous nous pressons tous!
Philomena! At your feet, we are pressing - all of us!
Philocité! Sois gentille, au moins réponds-nous,
Philomena, be sweet, at least answer us,
et dis-nous quel jour tu nous aimeras!
and tell us on what day you will love us!

The bird proceeded to frolic with the fillies and colts around them, while displaying its slender and elegant build for all to see. It sang in a saccharine manner.


Quand je vous aimerai? Ma foi, je ne sais pas,
When will I love you? Good lord, I don't know,
Peut-être jamais, peut-être demain.
Maybe never, maybe tomorrow.
Mais pas aujourd'hui, c'est certain.
But not today, that's certain.


L'amour est un oiseau rebelle
Love is a rebellious bird
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser,
That nothing can tame,
Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle,
And it is simply in vain to call it
S'il lui convient de refuser.
If it is convient for it to refuse.
Rien n'y fait, menace ou prière,
Nothing will work, threat or pleading,
L'un parle bien, l'autre se tait;
One speaks, the other stays quiet;
Et c'est l'autre que je préfère
And it's the other that I prefer
Elle n'a rien dit; mais elle me plaît.
She said nothing; but she pleases me.
L'amour! L'amour! L'amour! L'amour!
Love! Love! Love! Love!

L'amour est enfant de Phénix ,
Love is the child of the Phoenix,
Il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi,
It has never, never known any law,
Si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime,
If you don't love me, I love you,
Si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
If I love you, keep guard on yourself!
Si tu ne m'aime pas, si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime!
If you don't love me, if you don't love me, I love you!
Mais, si je t'aime, si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
But, if I love you, if I love you, keep guard on yourself!
Si tu ne m'aime pas, si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime!
If you don't love me, if you don't love me, I love you!
Mais, si je t'aime, si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
But, if I love you, if I love you, keep guard on yourself!

L'oiseau que tu croyais surprendre
The bird you thought to surprise
Battit de l'aile et s'envola;
Bat its wing and flew away;
L'amour est loin, tu peux l'attendre;
Love is far away, you can wait for it;
Tu ne l'attend plus, il est là!
If you wait for it no more, it is there!
Tout autour de toi vite, vite,
All around you, quickly, quickly,
Il vient, s'en va, puis il revient!
It comes, goes, then it comes back!
Tu crois le tenir, il t'évite;
You think to hold it, it avoids you;
Tu crois l'éviter, il te tient!
You think to avoid it, it holds you!
L'amour, l'amour, l'amour, l'amour!
Love, love, love, love!

L'amour est enfant de Phénix,
Love is the child of the Phoenix,
Il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi,
It has never, never known any law,
Si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime,
If you don't love me, I love you,
Si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
If I love you, keep guard on yourself!
Si tu ne m'aime pas, si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime!
If you don't love me, if you don't love me, I love you!
Mais, si je t'aime, si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
But, if I love you, if I love you, keep guard on yourself!
Si tu ne m'aime pas, si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime!
If you don't love me, if you don't love me, I love you!
Mais, si je t'aime, si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
But, if I love you, if I love you, keep guard on yourself!


Angel Bunny was finally been reunited with his caretaker.

"Angel Bunny! What can I do for you?"

The stern bunny tabbed its feet, and muttered some incomprehensible chirps at the nodding pegasus.

The pegasus understand everything that the bunny had said. She was a rare talent, especially for a pegasus.

"Oh! So it was my mother! What about that..."

The bunny continued this conversation that nopony other than Fluttershy could held.

"Oh, really! My mother... had a letter for me..."


Parle-moi de ma mère !
Tell me about my mother !

J'apporte de sa part, fidèle messagère, cette lettre.
I carry from her, faithful messenger, this letter.

Une lettre!
A letter !

The Bunny threw into a flurry of gestures.

"Oh! She sent me some bits too! What else, what else?"

The pegasus was uncharacteristically driven in asking about the contents of the letter.

That's when the bunny suddenly became coy. It seemed reluctant to tell Fluttershy of what was to come.

"Please tell me, Angel Bunny." Fluttershy had resorted to pleading. "Just tell me what else is there..."

Et puis un peu d'argent
And then a little bits
Pour ajouter à votre traitement, et puis...
to add to your stipend, and then...

Et puis?
And then?

Et puis -- vraiment, je n'ose --
And then -- really, I don't dare--
et puis encore une autre chose
And then yet another thing
qui vaut mieux que l'argent
which is worth more than money
et qui pour un bon fille,
and which for a good daughter,
aura sans doute plus de prix.
has without doubt greater value.

Cette autre chose, quelle est-elle?
This other thing, what is it?
Parle donc.
Speak, then.

Angel Bunny was very agitated, and he looked as if he loathed what he was about to do for his provider.

The little bunny made some angry remarks, and then moved to Fluttershy's side, then he promptly gave the pegasus a peck on the cheek, while being terribly flustered.

Fluttershy was visibly emotional throughout the exchange. The bunny must have said something that were highly personal to Fluttershy in order to elicit such a reaction from the pegasus.

Oui, je parlerai. Ce que l'on m'a donné
Yes, I will speak. What was given to me
Je vous le donnerai.
I will give it to you.
Votre mère avec moi sortait de la chapelle,
Your mother with me was coming out of the chapel,
et c'est alors qu'en m'embrassant:
And it was then that while embrassing me:
"Tu vas," m'a-t-elle dit, "t'en aller à la ville;
"You're going," she said to me, "to go to the city;
la route n'est pas longue, une fois à Ville de Poneys.
The route isn't long, once in Ponyville.
Tu chercheras mon fille, mon Flutters, mon enfant.
You will search for my girl, my Flutters, my child.
Et tu lui diras que sa mère
And you will say to her that her mother
Songe nuit et jour à l'absent,
Dreams night and day about the absent one,
Et qu'elle regrette et qu'elle espère,
And that she regrets and that she hopes,
qu'elle pardonne et qu'elle attend;
that she forgives and that she waits;
tout cela, n'est-ce pas, mignonne,
all this, isn't that so, dear one,
de ma part, tu le lui diras;
on my behalf, you will tell it to her;
et ce baiser que je te donne
and this kiss which I give you
de ma part, tu le lui rendras."
on my behalf, you will give it to her. "

Un baisser de ma mère!
A kiss from my mother!

Un baiser pour son fille!
A kiss for her daughter!
Fluttershy, je vous le rends, comme je l'ai promis.
Fluttershy. I give it to you, as I have promised.

"A kiss... from my mother..." The poor pegasus uttered.

"Mother..." Fluttershy was thrown to a moment of nostalgia when she thought of her family that she was not living with. What a feeling that she didn't need at the moment!

I can see her again back at home... I love her.... sigh...

Ma mère, je la vois! Oui, je revois mon village!
My mother, I see her! I see again my village!
O souvenirs d'autrefois,
O memories of other times,
doux souvenirs du pays!
Sweet memories of my birthplace!
O souvenirs chéris!
Oh dear memories!
Vous remplissez mon coeur de force et de courage.
You fill my heart with strength and with courage.

Sa mère, elle la revoit! Elle revoit son village!
Her mother, she sees her again, she sees again her village!
O, souvenirs d'autrefois! Souvenirs du pays!
O memories of other times! Memories of her home!
Vous remplissez son coeur de force et de courage!
You fill her heart with strength and with courage.

"Wait... you're not going to stay while I read the letter?"

The bunny shook his head once more, as he prepared to make his exit.

"You are just going to leave me... ok. I will give you the reply back at the cottage." Fluttershy replied to the bunny with great reluctance.

The pegasus's thought were lost in the contents of the letter. She knew that Angel Bunny had already gone through the contents, but she had to see her mother's words with her own eyes.

"Mother... I really do miss you...I love you so much... but... I... will be staying in Ponyville after all. There are meaningful things to do here.

Fluttershy spoke to herself while holding back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

It was then that screaming noise had snapped the pegasus out of her own little world. The direction of the disturbance was from the school.

The pegasus decided to speak to herself more so as to remind herself of what to put her mind to. "I... better go check on Philomena. That bird's too playful for her own good sometimes."

Fluttershy quickly headed to the school, while leaving her thoughts on her mother aside for the time being.


The five adult mares found themselves in the middle of heated argument between Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara. Both were laying the blame on the animal scuffle on the pet that they were defending.

Vinyl scratch butted in. "Alright, just what happened over here?" She asked.

Sweetie was truly enraged. "NO! IT WAS PHILOMENA. OPEL DIDN'T START THIS!"

Diamond Tiara was not giving an inch. "Nuh-uh. It was Opalescence. I saw that."

Sweetie's anger kept growing. "HOW CAN YOU LIE STRAIGHT OUT OF YOUR OWN TEETH! Don't listen to her lies!"

Diamond Tiara went tit-for-tat. "No! I'm the one that's telling the truth. It was Opalescence."

Sweetie Belle saw the fight between the phoenix and her house cat obviously. It was unclear whether or not if Diamond Tiara was merely trying to incite the filly, or she was genuinely taking a defense of Philomena.

The Elements were at a loss at to how to proceed for some time. The only thing that Medley could do was to demand that the fillies stop bickering so that the adults can sort things out rationally. In the meantime, Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara continued their tirade against one another while vying to sway the adults to one side or the other.

(Screams and racket inside the school)


Que se passe-t-il donc là-bas?
What's happening then over there?

Au secours! N'entendez-vous pas?
Help! Help! don't you hear?

Au secours, madames les Elements!
Help, Elements, madams!

C'est la Philomena!
It's Philomena!

Non, non, ce n'est pas elle!
No, no! It isn't she !

C'est elle!
It is she!

Pas du tout!
Not at all!

Si fait! Si fait! C'est elle!
Yes it is! Yes it is! It is she!
Elle a porté les premiers coups!
She delivered the first blows!

ALL THE CHILDREN (surrounding Elements)
Ne les écoutez pas!
Don't listen to them!
Madames! Écoutez-nous! Écoutez-nous!
Madams! Listen to us! Listen to us!

La Opalescence disait, et répétait à voix haute
Opalescence said and repeated in a loud voice
Qu'elle achèterait sans faute
That she would buy, make no mistake,
Un rat qui lui plaisait.
A rat that she liked.

Alors la Philomena, railleuse à son ordinaire,
Then, Philomena , scoffing in her usual way,
dit: "Un rat, pourquoi faire?
says, "A rat? To do what?
Un balai te suffira."
A broom will suffice for you."

Opalescence riposta et dit à sa camarade:
Opalescence retorted and said to her comrade:
"Pour certaine promenade mon rat te servira!"
"For a certain ride my rat will serve you~"

"Et ce jour-là. tu pourras à bon droit faire la fière;
"And that day, you will have good reason to put on airs;
deux laquais suivront derrière
Two lackeys will follow behind you
t'émouchant à tour de bras!"
Swatting flies with all their might! "

Là-dessus, toutes les deux
At that point, the two of them
se sont prises aux cheveux!
Pulled each other by the hair!

Au diable tout ce bavardage!
To the devil with all this chattering!
Prenez, Flutters, deux fillasse avec vous
Take, Flutters, two fillies with you
et voyez là-dedans qui cause ce tapage.
And see inside what is causing this uproar.

C'est la Philomena!
It's Philomena!

Non, non, ce n'est pas elle!
No, no, it isn't she!

Si fait, si fait, c'est elle!
Yes it is! yes it is! It's she!

Pas du tout!
Not at all!

Elle a porté les premiers coups!
She delivered the first blows!

Holà! Éloignez-moi toutes ces femmes-là!
Holà! Take away from me all those women!

Madame! Ne les écoutez pas! Madame! Écoutez-nous!
Madam! Don't listen to them! Madame! Listen to us!

C'est la Philomena qui I porta les premiers coups!
It's Philomena who delivered the first blows!

C'est la Opalescence qui porta les premiers coups!
It's Opalescence who delivered the first blows!

La Philomena! La Philomena!
Philomena! Philomena!

La Opalescence! La Opalescence!
Opalescence! Opalescence!

(DIAMOND TIARA and SWEETIE BELLE singing different words at the same time...)

Si! Si! Si! Ella a porté les premiers coups!
Yes, yes, yes! She delivered the first blows!
C'est la Philomena! Philomena!
It's Philomena! Philomena!

Non, non, non! Elle a porté les premiers coups!
No, no, no! She landed the first blows!
C'est la Opalescence! Opalescence!
it's Opalescence! Opalescence!

"STOP FIGHTING NOW. What have you two got to say for yourselves?"

Fluttershy came from the front portal, and her eyes were fully widened, while her attention was fixed on the two fillies in heated argument.

Fluttershy's stare did its magic. All the ponies had gone back to behaving themselves.

Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara clearly were near each others' throats. They may end up in a scuffle had Fluttershy not intervene and diffuse the tension in the classroom.

The stare master then gently patted the two fillies; the fight was over. It was time for reason.

The pegasus was now turning her attention to the wounded pets, and she saw Opalescence having been pecked in a few places, but they were all scratch wound, with no serious injury.

"Did the cat say anything for itself?" Bluenote asked.

"No..." Fluttershy answered curtly.

She saw a defiant Philomena that was clearly not wounded in any way however.

"She didn't want to say a thing to us..." Fluttershy noted sadly.

The bird proceeded to sing, almost in a mocking manner.

"I didn't ask you to sing." Medley said flatly, but Philomena paid her no heed.

Octavia pressed. "Well, really? So haughty?"

Vinyl lets out a sigh. "What a shame. Let's hold her pretty wings behind her back. The bird needs to play by the rules sometimes...


Tra la la la la la la la,
Coupe moi, brule moi, Je ne te dirai rien ;
You can burn me alive! I won't tell you a thing!
Tra la la la la la la la,
Je brave tout, le feu, le fer, et le ciel même!
You can flog me or torture me! It doesn't matter!

Ce ne sont pas des chansons que je te demande, c'est une réponse.
I didn't ask you to sing! I want an answer to my question!

Tra la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
mon secret, je le garde et je le garde bien!
I will never betray the secret that I keep in my heart!
Tra la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
J'en ami un autre et meurs
There's a friend that I adore
en disant que je l'ami!
she knows how that I love her!

Puisque tu le prends sur ce ton.
Since you want to be a rebel,
Tu chanteraas ton air aux de la cage.
you can practice your songs in a cage.

En cage! En cage!
In cage! In cage!

La preste! Décidément vous avez la ailes leste.
Control yourself! You have trigger wings !

Tra la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

C'est dommage. C'est grand dommage.
It's a pity... it's really a pity.
Car elle est gentille vraiment. Mais il
She's got spunk. We just need to tame it.
faut bien la rendre sage. Tenir ces deux jolies ailes!
Hold her pretty wings behind her back!

"I am going to get a cage for Philomena. She should probably stay in it for a bit..." Medley said aloud while Fluttershy kept the bird under watch.

This job proved difficult for the buttermilk mare.

The cries of the Phoenix really tugged at Fluttershy's heartstrings however. It's such a majestic bird, full of life and it didn't look as if it meant to do any real harm...

Fluttershy was trying very hard to resist "talking" to Philomena, but she felt that she cannot remain objective for much longer.

"You're going in a cage for your own good, Philomena. I can loosen things a bit if it's hurting you." Said the pegasus.

The bird looked at Flutterwhy, as it made a few noise.

"Don't talk to me like that, lady. You're not guiltless."

It was then that the Phoenix broke into songs.


Près des ciel de Poney-ville,
Near the skies of Ponyville
Chez mon ami, Rainbow Dash
At the place of my friend, Rainbow Dash
J'irai danser la Séguedille
I will go to dance the Seguedilla
Et boire du Manzanilla.
And to drink Manzanilla.
J'irai chez mon ami Rainbow Dash.
I will go to the place of my friend, Rainbow Dash.
Oui, mais toute seule on s'ennuie,
Yes, but all alone, one gets bored,
Et les vrais plaisirs sont à deux;
And the real pleasures are for two;
Donc, pour me tenir compagnie,
So, to keep me company,
J'emmènerai mon cher ami!
I will take away my dear friend.
Mon cher ami, elle est au soleil,
My friend, she has gone to the sun,
Je l'ai mis à la porte hier!
I put her out yesterday!
Mon pauvre coeur très consolable,
My poor heart, very consolable,
Mon coeur est libre comme l'air!
My heart is free, like the air!
J'ai des galants à la douzaine,
I have men by the dozen,
Mais ils ne sont pas à mon gré.
But, they are not to my taste.
Voici la fin de la semaine;
Here it is the weekend;
Qui veut m'aimer? Je l'aimerai!
Who wants to love me? I will love her!
Qui veut mon âme? Elle est à prendre.
Who wants my soul? It's for the taking.
Vous arrivez au bon moment!
You're arriving at the right time!
J'ai guère le temps d'attendre,
I have hardly the time to wait,
Car avec mon nouvel ami,
For with my new friend,
Près des ciel de Poney-ville,
Near the skies of Ponyville
Chez mon ami, Rainbow Dash!
At the place of my friend, Rainbow Dash!

J'irai danser la Séguedille
I will go to dance the Seguedilla
Et boire du Manzanilla.
And to drink Manzanilla.
Tra la la la la la la ~etc
Tra la la la ~etc
Tra la la la la la la! ~etc
Tra la la la! ~etc

Tais-toi! je t'avais dit
Shut up! I told you
de ne pas me parler!
Not to talk to me!

Je ne te parle pas,
I am not talking to you,
Je chante pour moi-même!
I am singing for myself!
Et je pense.
And I'm thinking.
Il n'est pas défendu de penser!
It's not forbidden to think!
Je pense à certain Pégase,
I am thinking of a certain pegasus,
Je pense à certain pégase,
I am thinking of a certain pegasus,
Qui m'aime. Et qu' à mon tour
Who loves me and whom in turn
Oui, qu' à mon tour, je pourrai bien aimer.
yes, whom in turn, I could really love.


Mon pégase n'est pas un princesse;
My pegasus is not a princess;
Pas même un noble,
Not even a noble,
Elle n'est que pégase,
She is only a pegasus,
Mais c'est assez pour une Phénix,
But, that's enough for a phoenix,
Et je daigne m'en contenter.
And I've decided to be contented with her.

The buttermilk pegasus couldn't resist the temptation to pet Philomena, and her heart melted the moment that the bird flew and landed on her shoulder, while allowing the pegasus to stroke it gently so.

I don't want Philomena to get cooped up in a cage. She'll be ok... I don't think she' really going to run off or something...

"If you're willing to be a friend, then I will let you be, Philomena. You said Rainbow Dash's place, right?"

With this in her mind, Fluttershy had decided to let Philomena go once she got put into the cage.

Mena, je suis comme un poney ivre,
Philomena, I am like a pony intoxicated,
Si je cède, si je me livre,
if I give in, if I surrender,
Ta promesse, tu la tiendras?
Your promise, will you keep it?
Ah! si je t'aime, Philo-,
Ah! if I love you-
mena, tu m'aimeras?
Philomenaena, will you love me?

PHILOMENA (with Flutershy)

Oui, nous danserons la Séguedilla
Yes, we wiill dance the Seguedilla
En buvant du Manzanilla.
While drinking Manzanilla.
Près des ciel de Poney-ville,
Near the skies of Ponyville
Chez mon ami, Rainbow Dash
At the place of my friend, Rainbow Dash
J'irai danser la Séguidille
I will go to dance the Seguidilla
Et boire du Manzanilla.
And to drink Manzanilla.
Tra. la. la. la. la. etc.


Chez Rainbow Dash, tu le promets.
At Rainbow Dash's place, you promise.
Philo-, tu le promets!
Philomena, you promise!

Ah! Près des ciel de Poney-ville, etc.
Ah! Near the skies of Ponyville, etc.


"Did you just let her go!?"

The entire group was flabbergasted at the action of the pegasus.

Fluttershy was adamant of her decision. "Philomena was sorry... and she's better off staying with Rainbow Dash, who had befriended her. I mean..."

Octavia looked stunned beyond belief. "You know that this is a Phoenix, and it normally would be living in the Canterlot Zoo. Come to think of it, I think it belongs to one of the alicorn princesses for that matter..."

Vinyl was intrigued. "Not Cadance?"

The gray mare shook her head. "No, not The Princess. It's a good friend of her though... I seen The Princess together with the bird before. At any rate, that bird is no ordinary bird, Fluttershy." I don't know how it came to be in Ponyville, but the news of its presence here must be reported back to The Princess...

Bluenote was a bit somber in her statement. "Maybe the bird's just bored out of her mind..."

The group looked at each other, while wondering about why is it that Philomena had shown herself in Ponyville...

(Cue Entr'acte)

(End of Act 1 )

Author's Note:

I had to rephrase the story. This originally was pure stageplay.

It's unbelievable how well Philomena fits the role of La bohème. The thing writes itself.

I am using the transcript from the Aria Database for Carmen.

Three pieces worth noting are the following:


This whole story is scored to Bizet's Carmen, although the birds really "whistle" instead of sing their lines. Hopefully you can get an idea with the Prelude.

The legend is as followed:

Normal dialogues are in black
L'opéra est en français.
English translation is italicized and in blue.
Green indicates music.
Purple indicates voiceover