Your story looks good so far, but you used the wrong verb tenses many times. You have my support. I would love to read a good Danny Phantom story to completion.
Overall, this is a good story. However, EDIT YOUR STORY! There is an error in almost every other line! If you don't see any errors I will tell you where they are, but seriously! Get an editor, or at the very least look over your story before you post it!
Elements of Harmony, not elements of harmony. (When referring to the "Elements of Harmony", you have to capitalize both "Elements" and "Harmony".
These are the three biggest errors that I found in your story. Towards the end there is also quite a few punctuation issues, but you can find those. Press the "ctrl" and the "f" keys at the same time and search "ponyvil", "pinkypie", and "elements of harmony". After you find them switch out the errors with their correct forms.
First of, I was, or am a lover of Danny Phantom's cartoon. Not because of its comedy or fights, but the plot you know. Because it is one of the few old cartoons that actually got dark parts(not because they are ghost) in future chapters along the fact that it have a pretty complicate story. Like with Danny's Uncle making his apparition and Clockwork appearing to him because of what happen to the future which was pretty damn eye opening to many viewers about life, that sh** was pretty deep.
Seeing this, just the first chapter, is making me literally hop on place. It is well made, the grammar-for me anyway- is perfect and it have a good plot with funny scenes while at the same time serious parts. I cant wait to see the next chapters and the end of the story but that would take some time I think since a good story takes time to make.
P.S. Sorry for blabbering but I really like this story xD continue with the hard work bru :D
P.S.S. Yo ma hero!
P.S.S.S. Clockwork's on my top ten best characters just on top of number 6 Ulquiorra Cifer.
P.S.S.S.S. Wow the fanart on google Gotta use some of those as wallpaper.
Your story looks good so far, but you used the wrong verb tenses many times. You have my support. I would love to read a good Danny Phantom story to completion.
Keep going. More practice means you'll get better at it.
I shall follow this story tentatively
Well that was freak'n awesome. Best crossover I read so far =P
Overall, this is a good story. However, EDIT YOUR STORY! There is an error in almost every other line! If you don't see any errors I will tell you where they are, but seriously! Get an editor, or at the very least look over your story before you post it!
Ponyville, not Ponyvil.
Pinkie Pie, not Pinkiepie.
Elements of Harmony, not elements of harmony. (When referring to the "Elements of Harmony", you have to capitalize both "Elements" and "Harmony".
These are the three biggest errors that I found in your story. Towards the end there is also quite a few punctuation issues, but you can find those. Press the "ctrl" and the "f" keys at the same time and search "ponyvil", "pinkypie", and "elements of harmony". After you find them switch out the errors with their correct forms.
SO MANY ERRORS!
Please fix
I love it! This is amazing!
Kick it's ass! Kick it's ass!
First of, I was, or am a lover of Danny Phantom's cartoon. Not because of its comedy or fights, but the plot you know. Because it is one of the few old cartoons that actually got dark parts(not because they are ghost) in future chapters along the fact that it have a pretty complicate story. Like with Danny's Uncle making his apparition and Clockwork appearing to him because of what happen to the future which was pretty damn eye opening to many viewers about life, that sh** was pretty deep.
Seeing this, just the first chapter, is making me literally hop on place. It is well made, the grammar-for me anyway- is perfect and it have a good plot with funny scenes while at the same time serious parts. I cant wait to see the next chapters and the end of the story but that would take some time I think since a good story takes time to make.
P.S. Sorry for blabbering but I really like this story xD continue with the hard work bru :D
P.S.S. Yo ma hero!
P.S.S.S. Clockwork's on my top ten best characters just on top of number 6 Ulquiorra Cifer.
P.S.S.S.S. Wow the fanart on google Gotta use some of those as wallpaper.