Wow I am the first to leave a comment. a good start to the story and I do hope you rite more. I don't know why you have 15 dislike to the story. I for one like the start and can't wate to see where this will leed. keep up the good work.javascript:smilie('');
this shows alot of promise and is absolutely MILES ahead of most other fics I've read with this premise. my only criticisms are:
He seems fairly accepting of the fact that he is surrounded by essentially aliens on an entirely different world. I know if it were you or me we would both have a complete mental breakdown (Don't be too hard on yourself about this though ALOT of fics make this mistake) just something you might want to think about.
secondly PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not! power ship dash and the protagonist. Too often I see fics like this were their already confessing their love by the fourth chapter. I hope i'm wrong and your avoiding this but please just make the relationship seem realistic.
thirdly (and this is me just nitpicking) I can't imagine anyone risking their lives for a rabbit. but that's not that big of a deal.
2724628 Thanks for the criticism! Some of the things you pointed out I've already noticed and facepalmed myself about. And don't worry, I'm probably going to make the romance a little more in depth than that. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you continue to!
Wow I am the first to leave a comment. a good start to the story and I do hope you rite more. I don't know why you have 15 dislike to the story. I for one like the start and can't wate to see where this will leed. keep up the good work.javascript:smilie('');
2723677
Thanks so much for your support. Don't worry I'm still writing and the next chapter will be out soon!
2723895 Thank you for the reply and keep up the good work. javascript:smilie('');
this shows alot of promise and is absolutely MILES ahead of most other fics I've read with this premise. my only criticisms are:
He seems fairly accepting of the fact that he is surrounded by essentially aliens on an entirely different world. I know if it were you or me we would both have a complete mental breakdown (Don't be too hard on yourself about this though ALOT of fics make this mistake) just something you might want to think about.
secondly PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not! power ship dash and the protagonist. Too often I see fics like this were their already confessing their love by the fourth chapter. I hope i'm wrong and your avoiding this but please just make the relationship seem realistic.
thirdly (and this is me just nitpicking) I can't imagine anyone risking their lives for a rabbit. but that's not that big of a deal.
2724628
Thanks for the criticism! Some of the things you pointed out I've already noticed and facepalmed myself about. And don't worry, I'm probably going to make the romance a little more in depth than that. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you continue to!
2725820 Believe me this fic and in turn you as an author definitely shown promise and as long as the quality keeps up i will continue reading
need... more... chapters... need... more... awesome writing...
2735918
The next chapter's coming. I've been working on a one-shot clopfic so as so as I'm finished that I'll get right back to this.
2736260 WOO HOO